Rick and the Louds
by Comicfan97
Summary: Lincoln Loud's life is already chaotic enough with ten sisters. After living with his genius alcoholic grandfather for so long, his life's become even more chaotic. Still, even he wouldn't change it for the world!
1. Left in the Dark

**AN: Hey, everyone. I guess it's been a while since I've updated any of my stories, so I'll give you a basic idea of what to expect for the future.**

 **X-Tail: I am going to continue writing this story, at least until the end of the Fighting Festival arc. When I reach that point, I'll decide on what to do for it.**

 **Mutants and Gems: Yeah, in hindsight this was not a good idea. I thought that I could combine them well, but I just can't write for it anymore. Shortly after this, it and the prequel will be deleted.**

 **A New Hero: I've simply lost interest. If anyone wants to adopt it, send me a PM. The original will be deleted regardless of what happens.**

 **Now, with that out of the way, here's a crossover that I wish I had written first.**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 1: Left in The Dark

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor 7:30 PM**

As night fell in Royal Woods, Michigan, a certain house continued to be the bane of the neighborhood's existence. The house itself was white with a black colored roof, had a porch in the front side, a chimney that ran up the left side, and a garage on the right side. The walls of the basement were made of red bricks. While it appeared normal, the interior housed one of the largest families in Royal Woods, one that had only increased in disdain, mostly because of the unexpected resident.

In one of the rooms, there was an 11-year-old Caucasian boy with freckles, short white hair, and an overbite with a chipped tooth. He wore an orange polo, blue jeans, and white sneakers with red stripes. This was Lincoln Loud.

Lincoln's room was a converted linen closet, but the boy had done a decent job in turning it into a real room, like his sisters'. There were the basics: a bed, dresser and mirror. His closet was used to hang his clothes as well as his model spaceships. Lincoln also had many comic books and movie action figures sprawled practically everywhere.

As the night approached the optimal time, Lincoln had been watching the promo for his favorite TV show, ' _ARRGH!'_. The show itself had been somewhat popular, enough that the show would be airing its third season finale tonight. Lincoln had been bubbling in anticipation for this night for weeks, even if it was rather tame compared to his adventures with his grandpa, Rick.

When the promo ended, Lincoln pulled out his walkie-talkie from his dresser to call Clyde, his best friend. While Lincoln did have an ordinary walkie-talkie, Rick had upgraded his and Clyde's to a range that it would work even if they were on opposite sides of the universe. As such, they often had to adjust the range to prevent any possible background noise from other locations.

" _This is Cadet Lincoln calling Cadet Clyde. Do you read me?"_ Lincoln said over his walkie-talkie.

" _This is Cadet Clyde. I'm reading you loud and clear. This is going to be epic! We get to watch 'ARRGH!', together!"_ Clyde replied with joy, only to frown slightly. _"And by 'together' I mean you at your house and me at mine."_

" _Come on, you know I'd want you to come over, but you know how you get around Lori."_ Lincoln responded, referring to his oldest sister.

" _It's true. But I can totally control myself this time!"_ Clyde said desperately.

" _You got a nosebleed, threw up in the bushes, and fainted repeatedly."_ Lincoln deadpanned.

" _Can you blame me? Lori was wearing that perfume; Venetian Romance. She so wants me!"_ Clyde said jubilantly.

" _Uh, she wore that for her date with Bobby, Clyde."_ Lincoln clarified, remembering that Clyde had only seen Lori for a few seconds before she left with Bobby.

" _Oh. Well, there's always hope, like if Rick summons a fire-breathing monster to…"_ Clyde said excitedly.

" _I am not going to ask my grandpa to kill Bobby, Clyde!_ " Lincoln interrupted and then sighed deeply. _"Look, I got to go. I need to take care of my sisters so that I can watch TV tonight."_

" _Okay. Good luck, Cadet Lincoln!"_ Clyde said as they both turned off their walkie-talkies for the night.

"Time to put _Operation: Couch Commando_ into action." Lincoln said to himself as he heard the familiar chanting of his two 6-year-old twin sisters, Lola and Lana.

Lola and Lana had fair skin, blonde hair, and were missing some of their front teeth. However, Lana's hair was in pigtails and Lola's was long and unrestrained. Lana also wore a red baseball cap backwards, white sneakers with blue stripes, and a murky green t-shirt under dark blue overalls. Conversely, Lola wore a long pink gown and sash, a white pearl necklace around her neck, long pink gloves, white earrings, pink high heels, and a tiara on her head.

Despite their differences, both girls were happily chanting "Cartoons! Cartoons!" with a big smile on their faces as they exited their room. Knowing that he had to get all his sisters out of the way for the night, Lincoln put his master plan into action with his knowledge on all of them.

"Did someone say, 'tea party'?" Lincoln asked as he stepped in front of the duo with a tea kettle and a box of cookies on a silver plate.

Lola squealed happily as she took the supplies from her big brother and headed back to hers and Lana's room. "Thank you, Lincoln!" However, Lana was undeterred and stared at her big brother somewhat angrily.

"Hey, I don't want to be a part of some dumb tea party! I want to watch TV!" Lana said tersely.

"Not even if, _**these**_ guys are invited?" Lincoln asked confidently as he pulled out two frogs he found in the backyard from behind his back.

Lana's demeanor quickly mirrored her sister's as she accepted the frogs and headed back to rejoin Lola. "Thanks, Lincoln!"

Lincoln then noticed one of his older sisters by the staircase, Luan. Luan was 14-years -old with fair skin, light brown hair worn up into a ponytail by a yellow scrunchie, an overbite, and braces. She wore a white sleeveless shirt, a yellow skirt with a square pattern, yellow socks with a line pattern that was worn all the way up, and brown shoes. She also wore three pink flowers, one on her shirt and one on each shoe.

"Luan! How are you?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm fine, Lincoln. I'm just going downstairs to watch TV." Luan replied.

"You might want to grab you video camera instead. The twins are at it again." Lincoln said knowingly as Lola and Lana had quickly escalated into fighting, with Luan now watching in excitement.

"This is totally going to go viral! Thanks, Linc!" Luan said happily as she ran back to hers and Luna's room.

Lincoln soon overheard the sound of Lily's babbling and knew that she would be exiting the room with Lisa. Lincoln quickly intercepted them and made sure Lily didn't wander off too far.

Lily was 15-months-old with fair skin, a tuft of blond hair, and one tooth. She simply wore a white diaper. Lisa was 4-years-old with fair skin, short and shaggy dark brown hair, and had a small lateral lisp. She wore a green turtleneck, red pants, brown shoes, and a pair of glasses.

"Hey, Lisa! I saved you a trip downstairs and got that stuff you needed!" Lincoln said as he embraced Lily.

"You mean the lactose, triticum protein, sodium chloride crystals, sucrose, and galus galus ovum?" Lisa asked, demonstrating her genius-level intelligence that was only second to her grandfather's.

"Uh, yeah. The milk, flour, salt, sugar, and eggs." Lincoln said as he carefully cradled Lily and held out the ingredients.

"You say tomato, I say solanum lycopersicum. Thank you." Lisa said stoically as she took the ingredients and went back to her room, which left Lincoln with a rather fussy Lily. Still, he had no time to handle it as Lynn, his youngest oldest sister, came out of hers and Lucy's room.

Lynn was 13-years-old and had long, dark brown hair wrapped into a small ponytail. She wore a red and white jersey with a red "1" on it, red-and-white shorts, and cleats with striped knee-high socks. Like Lincoln, she also had freckles on her skin.

"Yeah! Two minutes to game time!" Lynn cheered as she exited her room.

Lincoln quickly intercepted her and said, "Hey, Lynn! You want to try out Grandpa Rick's helium-filled football?" He proved this claim when he showed Lynn how it floated in mid-air. "He made it for the extreme player that demands more!"

"I totally demand more!" Lynn said jubilantly as Leni, the second-oldest sister came out of hers and Leni's room.

Leni was 16-years-old and had long, pale blonde hair with side-swept bangs. She wore a frilled turquoise dress, red hoop earrings, white sandals topped with green bows, and a pair of white sunglasses on top of her head.

"Uh, go long!" Lincoln proclaimed as he threw the weightless football into Lynn and Lucy's room, which the sporty girl immediately followed. He then ran up to Leni and said, "Oh, my god, Leni!"

"What? Is there a spider on me?!" Leni proclaimed fearfully as she wildly rubbed her head. "Get it off, get it off, get it off!"

"Worse! There's a huge zit on the end of your nose!" Lincoln claimed, although Leni's skin was free of any blemishes.

"I'm a hideous monster!" Leni yelled as she ran towards the bathroom to investigate, which Lincoln knew would mean at least an hour until she caught on.

Suddenly, Luna came out of hers and Luan's room with her purple guitar and a big smile on her face. Luna was 15-years-old with short brown hair stylized into a pixie-cut. She wore a purple t-shirt with a skull on it, a plaid purple skirt, a grey belt and high purple boots. She also wore paperclip earrings and three black bracelets on each of her wrists. Also, like Lincoln and Lynn, she had freckles on her face.

"Hey, bro! TV tonight is going to be rocking!" Luna yelled as she ended her sentence with a strum from her guitar.

"Or, you could use Grandpa Rick's Multiverse Flashlight to get colors that we don't have. You could have a one-of-a-kind rock show in your room!" Lincoln said as he held out a yellow flashlight that instantly released a wide spectrum of unknown colors into the hallway.

"That's awesome! Thanks, Linc!" Luna said as she took the flashlight and headed back to hers and Luan's room.

"Has anyone seen my phone? I need to live-tweet my show!" Lori declared as she wandered the hallway.

Lori was 17-years-old with large blonde hair and fair skin. She wore a light blue tank-top, brown cargo shorts, blue slip-on shoes, and blue eye shadow. She also wore pearl earrings.

As he noticed his oldest sister in the hallway, Lincoln discretely took out her phone from his back pocket and sent a text to Bobby before handing it back to her.

"Hey, Lori! I found your phone!" Lincoln innocently stated as he handed Lori's phone back to her.

"Give me that! How many goddamn times do I have to tell you to keep your hands off my stuff?" Lori harshly stated as she took the phone from her little brother. Lincoln only gave a subtle nod to himself as her phone started to ring.

"Hello? Oh, hi Bobby." Lori said somewhat lustfully as she answered her phone. "No, I didn't text you to call me, but I'm glad you did." Lori said as she went back to her room to continue conversing with her boyfriend.

Suddenly, Lincoln noticed that Lily had fallen asleep in his arms from all the commotion and gently laid his youngest sister back into her crib, but not before kissing her on the forehead. With all his sisters now out of the way, Lincoln smiled to himself as he headed downstairs.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 7:35 PM**

Lincoln smiled proudly as he approached the couch, although he looked in the dining room and saw Rick asleep with a bottle of whiskey in his hands.

Rick was a tall, lanky 60-year-old man with grey-blue hair and a bald spot on the back of his head. Unlike the others, he sported a unibrow, his skin was slightly tanner, and his hair resembled spikes. He wore a white lab coat with a light blue-green shirt underneath, brown pants, a dark brown belt with a yellow buckle, and black shoes.

With 8 years of experience, Lincoln had gotten used to seeing his grandfather passed out drunk somewhere. Thank god that this time Grandpa Rick was wearing pants. Since he didn't want to risk going on another adventure with the old man, he left well enough alone and headed back towards the living room.

Unfortunately, as he sat down, he heard the voice of the only remaining sister he failed to placate, Lucy.

"You forgot me." Lucy stated as Lincoln noticed that she was sitting right next to him.

Lucy was 8-years-old with pale, almost chalk-white skin with long black hair that concealed her eyes. She wore long striped arm sleeves, matching knee socks, a black dress worn over a striped shirt, and black shoes.

Rather than being frightened, Lincoln was more frustrated than anything. "Lucy! Why do I always forget you?!"

"It's the story of my life." Lucy replied grimly.

"So, what are you doing here?" Lincoln asked, somewhat indignantly.

"It's the season premiere of my favorite show, _Vampires of Melancholia_. There's no way I'm missing it." Lucy replied.

"Oh, come on! This is the episode of ' _ARRGH!_ ' I've been waiting weeks for!" Lincoln responded, hoping that it would placate his younger sister.

"Sorry, Lincoln. You know that rule: I was here first." Lucy replied.

"Oh, god. Oh, I'm g-going to be s-so sick." Rick mumbled as he drunkenly sauntered in the room. Lucy and Lincoln could only watch as Rick pulled down his pants and sat in the middle of them with his underwear on. While they weren't strangers to Rick's drunken shenanigans, the siblings could only watch as their grandfather embraced them.

"Grandpa Rick, please put your pants back on." Lucy begged as she donned an uncharacteristic disgusted expression.

"No can do, Lucy. T-That's just what t-t-they want me to do anyway. When you k-k-kids get older, you're going to learn when to r-r-rebel. That's why I'm so f-f-freaking awesome." Rick drunkenly said as he embraced two of his grandkids even tighter, much to Lincoln and Lucy's disgust.

"Since you're here, can you get Lucy off the couch so that I can watch ' _ARRGH!_ '?" Lincoln asked hopefully.

"Oh, Lincoln, that show's so stupid. Hunter Spector's never even seen a ghost. A real one would've killed him already." Rick said as he regained some lucidity, but not before discretely securing the TV remote in his left lab coat pocket. "Bottom line: we see and do things _**way**_ more dangerous than 'ghost hunting' on a regular basis."

"Yeah, but it's nice to have some things on Earth to appreciate, grandpa." Lincoln replied.

"Trust me, I know. Still, I-I-I have some stuff I could use your help with. Consider it a punishment, Lincoln." Rick suggested as he stopped embracing two of his grandkids and pulled up his pants.

"Well, looks like I'll be enjoying a nice evening with my vampires." Lucy said, somewhat pridefully.

"No dice, Sugar Bat. As _**your**_ punishment, you're coming too." Rick said as he practically dragged Lucy and Lincoln to the former toolshed that was now Rick's lab/room.

"Sigh. I can't believe we have to go on another adventure with Rick." Lucy said solemnly.

"True, but it could be fun. Luna brought home a Spartan helmet last time we had an adventure." Lincoln said, somewhat sad that he would likely miss his show, but optimistic that even if it was a punishment, he could have fun with it.

However, they were both unaware when Rick discretely brought out the remote and recorded both of their shows before leaving the room.

 **Rick's Lab 7:42 PM**

The trio had reached the former toolshed and went through the door. While the exterior resembled the original toolshed, the interior was large enough to have fit into the garage. The interior housed several of Rick's inventions stored in a large blue bookshelf, a work desk with several chemicals laid out, and a whiteboard on the far side of the room. His bed was in the bottom-left corner of the room.

"So, where are we going?" Lucy asked, somewhat disappointed.

"Hey, this is on a need-to-know basis, and neither of you qualify until we get there. It's part of your punishment." Rick stated as he pulled up a chair and started working on his hand-held portal gun. The portal gun itself was metal gray with a black knob to select a universe. Right above the knob, there was a red screen to indicate the universe selection. Lastly, the gun had a green energy source that illuminated the cylindrical bulb right above the red screen.

Rick hadn't been working on it for too long before he fired it at the back wall and a green, jelly-like substance turned into a green portal.

"Ah, that's the ticket. Let's go, kids." Rick said as he waited for Lucy and Lincoln to follow him, which they promptly did. As soon as all three of them entered the portal, it closed.

 **Dimension 2099-X 12:00 AM**

The trio had emerged from the green portal and landed in a rather run-down city with several buildings in ruins and/or on fire. There was gunfire and blood-curdling screams from several sources. Rick and Lincoln had been unfazed as they were used to dealing with apocalyptic worlds. While Lincoln's sisters did occasionally accompany the duo, it was often for simple, less dangerous missions. However, Lucy took in the carnage well and said, "Wicked."

"That's my granddaughter. I'm glad your mom's genes didn't totally mess you guys up." Rick said as he voiced his light disdain towards their mom, mostly because of how many times she claimed that he was a bad influence on her kids.

"So, what are we doing here, Grandpa Rick?" Lincoln asked.

"It's simple, Lincoln. In this dimension, some douchebag was elected president and totally effed up America. What we're seeing here are the ruins of this dimension's New York." Rick stated as he pointed towards a heavily vandalized and broken Statue of Liberty.

"How long did it take to get like this? A few years? Decades?" Lucy asked.

"Actually, it's only been a week since the election." Rick deadpanned, ignoring two of his grandchildren's confused expressions.

"That still doesn't explain why we're here." Lincoln remarked after he shook off the initial confusion.

"Isn't it obvious? This dimension has some sweet loot. We're going graverobbing!" Rick said excitedly as he casually began to take some jewelry from some nearby corpses.

"Grandpa Rick, even I think that's sick." Lucy commented, as she struggled to ignore the disturbing number of corpses.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Come on, I have another idea." Rick said, somewhat disheartened as he hypocritically continued to steal from the corpses, which only stopped thanks to Lincoln's hard slap to his hand.

"Okay, okay! Geez, you _**really**_ have to lighten up, Lincoln." Rick said as they continued to walk, only for several humanoid silver robots to suddenly descend from the sky and surround the trio. Lincoln and Lucy held each other in fear while Rick only looked disinterested as the robots transformed their arms into laser cannons.

"Oh, fan-freaking-tastic." Rick deadpanned as the robots captured them.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 7:50 PM**

Meanwhile, back in their dimension, the rest of the Loud siblings, minus the slumbering Lily, had gotten over Lincoln's expert distractions and were currently fighting over the TV. Unfortunately, since Rick had absconded with the only remote, the remaining girls were unknowingly fighting a pyrrhic battle.

It wasn't until a bruised Lisa had been thrown out of the scuffle that she noticed who was missing.

"Oh, boy. Guys, I think Grandpa Rick took Lucy and Lincoln on an adventure!" Lisa yelled, which instantly made the other girls stop their fight.

"Oh, this is bad, guys." Lana vocalized, even though the rest knew that was putting it mildly.

"Not necessarily. On our adventures with Grandpa Rick, we wound up on simple recovery missions for his research…which I still have been denied to be a part of!" Lisa stated as she briefly voiced her exclusion from the other family scientist.

"Still, I got to go back in time and got that sweet Spartan helmet from a dying soldier!" Luna said, somewhat fearfully.

"Yes, we all know that story, Luna!" Lynn yelled, envious that she'd been denied to join her and Lincoln on that day.

"She does have a point. Grandpa Rick's adventures can get pretty…dangerous." Leni said hesitantly.

"Yeah! On my last adventure with him and Lincoln, I fought this weird alien bull in an arena. I can't tell you how many times I almost got _**bull**_ -dozed." Luan said, cramming in a rather forced pun that caused her to laugh, but her remaining siblings to groan.

"It's true. We've all been prone to having our lives in danger with Rick, but this is serious. We need to find them." Lori stated, taking charge of the situation.

"Uh, how are we going to do that? Grandpa Rick has the only portal gun." Lynn pointed out.

"It's true. Even _**if**_ we had one of our own, we'd have no way of finding whatever alternate dimension they landed in." Lisa added.

"Hmm, good point. Then we're going to need to stall mom and dad by convincing them that they're still in the house when they get back." Lori stated.

"Uh, none of us can really pass off as any of them, so disguises are out of the way, bras." Luna remarked.

"Don't worry. Grandpa Rick told me about a project in his lab that should do the trick. Let's go!" Lori declared as the remaining sisters followed her to Rick's garage.

 **Dimension 2099-X's White House 12:05 AM**

After their capture from the robots, the trio were now in handcuffs and sitting in front of the Oval Office's desk, with an army of the robot guards aiming their laser cannons at them. The one behind the desk had their chair facing the other way, most likely the leader of this dimension's America.

"This is really bad, Grandpa Rick." Lincoln said fearfully.

"Quiet, Lincoln. We're about to meet the guy who captured us." Rick whispered.

"We've got laser guns pointing at us, Grandpa Rick. I don't think we'll be prisoners for long." Lucy grimly stated.

"That's negative thinking, Sugar Bat. We're going to be fine." Rick said comfortingly.

"So, this is what the multiverse has brought to me. A pathetic Lincoln, a glum Lucy, and a caring Rick?" the voice said as it turned around and revealed himself to be Rick.

However, unlike their Rick, this Rick had orange skin, a bad blonde toupee, and wore a black suit with a red tie. Upon seeing the alternate Rick, Rick gave a stern glare while Lincoln and Lucy could only stare in shock.

"I should have known. Only a royal douchebag of a Rick would get into politics." Rick said sardonically as he gave his alternate self a smug smile.

"I'm not a douchebag, Dimension 0006-L Rick! I'm the mother-effing President of the United States!" Douchebag Rick said angrily.

"And your distinction is?" Rick asked mockingly.

"Enough! You and your dimension's grandkids are in violation of unlawful multiverse traveling! By this dimension's law, you should be incarcerated for the next 20 years!" Douchebag Rick angrily yelled.

"Yeah, that's not going to happen, douchebag. Every time I've had to deal with an alternate Rick, I always came out on top. What's so special about you?" Rick asked defiantly.

"In case you haven't noticed, you and your grandkids are in handcuffs, I've got a robot army prepared to vaporize you all, and again…I'm the mother-effing president!" Douchebag Rick declared as he held out the robot's remote control.

"Yeah, but you're forgetting something important." Rick said as he smiled smugly.

"What's that?" Douchebag Rick asked as he snorted in derision.

"I'm a Rick!" Rick declared as he clicked his heels, which produced a buzzing sound that instantly fried the robot's circuits as well as their remote. The robots quickly fell, utterly immobile.

Douchebag Rick only scoffed. "Big deal. You're still in handcuffs."

Suddenly, Rick instantly dislocated his right wrist, which caused the cuff to slide off. He then instantly popped his wrist back into place before repeating the same process with his left wrist and delivered a very strong sucker-punch to his alternate self. The punch instantly knocked out Douchebag Rick, which left him to join his fallen robot army.

"I'm a double-jointed Rick, douchebag." Rick said as he fished out the key from him and freed Lincoln and Lucy.

"Wow, Grandpa Rick! That was awesome!" Lincoln praised as he and Lucy massaged their sore wrists.

"I still can't believe that another Rick was responsible for this." Lucy lamented as she stared at her alternate grandfather.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure that this is your first time seeing one, Lucy." Rick stated as they all left the room to find Rick's portal gun. "L-L-Lincoln's seen a few of them, right?" Rick asked him.

"Yeah. Although, I'm on the fence that this is the worst one we've faced, grandpa." Lincoln replied.

"Trust me, he was a just a big blowhard that gave up being _**a**_ Rick. Ricks are supposed to be rebels, but this douchebag conformed to politics and w-wrecked America. I'm just glad that he's out cold." Rick stated as they started to investigate the several rooms.

"So, where do you think this Rick stashed your portal gun?" Lucy asked as she and Lincoln rummaged through a clothes drawer.

"Probably in some heavily guarded location. We're just g-g-going room-to-room to get some sweet loot." Rick stated as he stole some jewelry from the dresser.

"You're still trying to steal things, Grandpa Rick?!" Lincoln asked incredulously as he and Lucy stopped searching.

"What? It's not like he'll miss any of it. Plus, he's a total douchebag." Rick defended.

"I have no idea what that is." Lucy said.

"Try looking through your older sisters' bathroom supplies. Then, you'll understand." Rick stated as he stopped looting to go back into the hallway.

"How come we're going back?" Lincoln asked.

"Duh! As fun as this is, we need to get back home soon." Rick stated, only for an alarm to activate. They were soon surrounded by the robots and a bruised Douchebag Rick with another remote.

"I'm also a Rick, bitch!" Douchebag Rick commented as he activated the robot's laser cannons.

"Run, kids! Run!" Rick yelled fearfully as the trio started to run away and dodge the robots' laser cannon blasts. Thankfully, the robots all had terrible aim and missed them every time. Eventually, their blasts only succeed in hitting each other and quickly took themselves out. Douchebag Rick stared incredulously at the scene and said softly to himself, "Okay, should not have made these robots when I was drunk."

 **Rick's Lab 7:50 PM**

After arriving at the lab, Lori started to look for the emergency project Rick had shown her. Meanwhile, the remaining Loud sisters were aiding in Lori's search.

"Ugh, this taking forever!" Lynn lamented as she found some weird gadgets under Rick's bed.

"I know! Why didn't Grandpa Rick just label this project?!" Lana added, equally frustrated as she only found a stack of uneaten pancakes. She attempted to eat it herself, but it came to life, which made her drop it in fear.

"Whatever the case, we need to find it. Our parental units will be home soon." Lisa pointed out and soon drew a quizzical expression when she found several boxes of condoms underneath Rick's work desk.

"Why do we even need to look for it, Lori? Didn't Grampa Rick show you where it was?" Lola questioned as she unknowingly threw down an alien porn magazine in frustration.

"Uh, yeah! He literally changes the location of his project triggers every time he shows any to any of us." Lori answered as she quickly put down a strange, frozen creature she found in a drawer from Rick's desk.

"Uh, I need to sit down." Leni stated as she sat on Rick's bed and accidentally activated what the sisters were looking for.

" _Project Pheonix-Beta-06 Activated"_ the synthesized feminine voice stated as the room suddenly worked like an elevator and went deep down into the earth. Eventually, it stopped at a new area that was essentially a bigger lab, but with poorer lighting.

"Leni, you're a genius!" Lana yelled and then drew a sheepish expression. "Wow, didn't think I'd ever say that."

Suddenly, Lori activated the flashlight app on her phone and saw several clones of Rick, herself, her siblings, and her parents that surrounded the entire back wall of the lab; all of which were at different ages and floating in jars of hyper-baric quantum fluid with electrodes attached to their heads and chests. Thankfully, the older female clones had some form of modesty for their chests, but sadly, not their bottoms.

"Whoa! They're all us, dudes!" Luna yelled in astonishment.

"Let's just try not to start a _**clone**_ war!" Luan joked, which only elicited the same responses from everyone. "Oh, come on! That was funny!"

"So, what's the plan?" Leni asked, which only caused her sisters to slap their foreheads.

"Ugh. We're obviously going to take the clones of Lincoln, Lucy, and Rick to buy some time before our parental units come back." Lisa deduced.

"Exactly. So, does anyone know how to get them out?" Lynn asked, which only caused a barrage of sheepish glances and innocent whistling from her sisters.

"You're kidding me, right?" Lynn incredulously asked.

"Do _**you**_ know, Lynn?" Lisa asked, which only caused Lynn to join her remaining sisters in their non-answer antics.

"Okay, I think that if we all work together, we might be able to figure this out." Lori suggested as she approached a nearby console.

 **Dimension 2099-X's White House 12:13 AM**

After escaping from the regular defenses, Rick, Lincoln, and Lucy were now running from Douchebag Rick as he started blasting them with his ice gun. In terms of shape, it resembled the portal gun, only missing the knob and red screen, and gaining a blue energy source instead. Thankfully, Douchebag Rick was a very bad shot as he continued to only hit random objects and doors.

"Why is this guy such a bad shot?" Lucy asked, acknowledging his piss-poor accuracy.

"Who knows? He's probably used to shooting deer or Democrats!" Rick yelled defiantly.

"Do we even know where we're running to?!" Lincoln asked fearfully.

Suddenly, Rick stopped running and headed to the left. "It's this way! Follow me!" With that, Lincoln and Lucy followed their grandfather and stopped in front of a large bank-sized safe with several technological locks.

"Okay, how are we going to get in there?" Lincoln asked.

"Hmm, let's see…triple-encryption, DNA analyzer, ass scanner…I think I know how to get past it!" Rick declared as he suddenly pushed Lincoln and Lucy down as his counterpart fired his ice gun that hit the safe and instantly froze it. After a few moments, the safe shattered, which revealed several sums of cash, jewelry, gold, and Rick's portal gun underneath a glass container.

"Ice guns; the fastest way to break into any safe." Rick revealed as he ran inside to get the portal gun, only for several lasers to appear and surround it.

"Sigh. This is bad." Lucy lamented.

Suddenly, Douchebag Rick grabbed Lucy and pointed the ice gun at her head, which made the goth girl don a justified fearful look.

"Hey, let go of her!" Lincoln yelled as he attempted to charge the alternate Rick, only for him to whip him across the face with his ice gun. Lincoln stayed conscious for a few moments before a swift kick from Douchebag Rick finished the job.

"Okay, just let me freeze you and your grandkids will walk out of here alive." Douchebag Rick bargained.

"Oh, that's a total rick move, Douchebag Rick!" Rick angrily stated as he stared down at his alternate self.

"For the last time…I am _**not**_ a douchebag!" Douchebag Rick declared as he fired wildly at Rick, only to miss every time. Ironically, in his frenzy, he froze the lasers that had prevented Rick from getting his portal gun. As Douchebag Rick continued his assault, Rick nonchalantly retrieved his portal gun and walked calmly over to Douchebag Rick. He quickly delivered another punch, which knocked out a few of Douchebag Rick's teeth.

"You're a total douche." Rick coldly stated to his counterpart before he retrieved a somewhat traumatized Lucy. He gently embraced her and lovingly stroked her hair. "It's okay, Sugar Bat. It's okay."

"Thanks Grandpa Rick." Lucy said gratefully as she fought back her relieved tears. Thankfully, Lincoln had recovered from Douchebag Rick's injuries, which only allowed Rick to similarly embrace him.

After a few moments, Rick smiled at his grandkids and fired the portal gun back home. He allowed Lincoln and Lucy to enter first as he took his counterpart's ice gun. However, this was clearly not mean to be a souvenir as he fired it at Douchebag Rick and delivered a swift stomp to his frozen head, which shattered instantly.

"Don't mess with my family, douche." Rick stated as he threw the ice gun back and entered the portal moments before it closed.

 **Rick's Lab 7:55 PM**

While the remaining sisters debated on how to get the clone pods open, they stopped when a green portal illuminated the dark lab. Soon enough, Lincoln, Lucy, and Rick arrived and they were embraced by the remaining sisters.

"Oh, thank god! We were so worried!" Lori exclaimed.

"Do you need some aspirin, Lincoln?" Leni asked as she noticed his injuries.

"Lucy needs some TLC too." Luna commented.

"Ooh, what happened, Grandpa Rick?" Lisa asked in excitement as she knew that all three would be okay.

"Another story for another day, Little Poindexter. For now, I think that we should…what the?! You activated Project Phoenix-Beta-06?!" Rick asked incredulously.

"Yeah, but only if we could use your clones to trick mom and dad until you came back." Lori defended.

Suddenly, rather than go on some long tirade, Rick only smiled and gave his eldest granddaughter a hug. "You did good, kid. You did good."

Lori was struck by this uncharacteristic display of affection and could only smile as their embrace ended.

"Now then, let's go topside. It's been a long night." Rick said as he let out a yawn and activated the sequence to return to his lab.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor 8:30 PM**

After returning to the house, the kids had just arrived in the living room before their parents came back from their date night. Soon enough, it was time to get ready for bed as Lincoln sat solemnly in his orange pajamas. He sighed to himself in disappointment.

"I don't believe this. I tried to save Lucy, but I got my butt kicked. I'm the worst big brother in the world." Lincoln lamented to himself, only for a familiar voice to dispel the negative vibe.

"That's not true, Lincoln." Lucy said as she somehow revealed herself right behind Lincoln.

"Oh, hi Lucy. I guess you want to tell me how big of a wimp I was, huh?" Lincoln inferred as he sighed softly. "Go ahead. I deserve it."

"Actually, you weren't." Lucy said sincerely, much to Lincoln's surprise.

"Huh? I totally got pulverized by that alternate Rick, Lucy! I'm supposed to be a big brother, but I couldn't do anything to save you." Lincoln said incredulously.

"Lincoln, you might've gotten your butt kicked, but you still tried." Lucy said sincerely as she formed a soft smile. "I know that I come off as cold and unfeeling, but I need you to know that you're my big brother and I love you."

Lincoln blinked away a few tears and embraced his younger sister. "That means a lot, Lucy. Thank you."

"No problem. Now, get some sleep." Lucy said as she left Lincoln's room, but not before giving her big brother a small kiss on the cheek.

With that, Lincoln smiled softly to himself, and slowly drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

 **AN: And so, the adventure begins. Now, time to recap.**

 **Rick's relationship with the rest of the Loud siblings: yeah, I need to be clear; this Rick is significantly different from the other Rick on the show. He will not hesitate to reassure his grandkids if they're in trouble and is more willing to let them on missions, unlike the handful that Summer has gotten in the show. He's also got more affectionate nicknames for his other granddaughters, but they'll be revealed later.**

 **The clones: yeah, I loved "Big Trouble in Little Sanchez" so I introduced the cloning concept early. Still, it'll be a while before they play any role in the plot again.**

 **Lack of Rick's cursing: yeah, this is mostly because I'm not fond of M-rated stories.**

 **The Loud siblings' reactions to Rick's adventures: yeah, in this timeline, Rick's been living with them since Lincoln was 3, so they've all gotten used to most of his weirdness and his adventures, except for Lily for obvious reasons.**

 **Future: yeah, there's going to be a mix of** _ **The Loud House**_ **and** _ **Rick and Morty**_ **episodes, with a few exceptions, namely Raising Gazorpazorp and probably a few episodes of** _ **The Loud House**_ **that wouldn't work well for the crossover. There will also be some original content.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.**

 **Next time – Chapter 2: Driving with Rick**


	2. Driving with Rick

**AN: Hello, everyone. I'm pleasantly surprised with the positive feedback I've gotten for this story. I'll still be working on X-Tail, but I'm having fun writing this story. Also, updates for this story will not be as fast as they were for this one. I'm still in college, so there will be a bit of a wait for the next one.**

 **Now, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 2: Driving with Rick

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor 8:30 AM**

It was a rather early Saturday morning in the Loud House as the kids started their day. However, this only meant one thing for the younger kids; they had to submit to Lori's whims. Given that they all had their own activities planned for the day, they often had to please their oldest sister to gain rides, since she was the only one besides their parents and Grandpa Rick to have a valid driver's license. As such, Lori kept Lincoln occupied with what he had to do for a ride…her laundry.

"Lori, do we have to do this every Saturday morning? It's always a lot of laundry." Lincoln complained as he held out a filled laundry basket.

"Do you want a safe ride to the comic book store, or not?" Lori asked as she twirled the keys to the family van. "You know how dangerous Grandpa Rick's driving is."

"I know." Lincoln said with a weary sigh as he headed towards the laundry room, only for Lori to tug on his shirt.

"Whoa! Those are just my jeggings!" Lori revealed, much to Lincoln's inner disdain. She then turned around and said, "Let me get the rest."

With that, Lori began to throw her filthy clothes haphazardly behind her, which Lincoln barely managed to catch. By the time she finished, the pile reached a little over Lincoln's height, which caused the young boy to drop the basket. While Lincoln struggled to regain the rancid smelling clothing, Lisa arrived with a paper in her hands.

"In exchange for a ride to the planetarium, I've done your calculus homework." Lisa said as she adjusted her glasses. "Next time, I would prefer a challenge."

"Thanks for the ride to the cemetery." Lucy announced as she suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the room. Lucy held a piece of paper in her hands as well, but it wasn't Lori's homework. "I finished your ten-month anniversary poem. It's called, 'Bobby'."

"Let's hear it." Lori asked, somewhat disinterested.

"'Bobby, I thought that you were a stalker, when I found my favorite brownies in my locker. Bobby…'." Lucy read to a love-struck Lori, only for Lana to burst into the room with a retainer.

"Hey, Lori! I found your missing retainer in the garbage! Even better, there was perfectly good gum stuck on it." Lana declared as she blew a pink bubble.

"Wait, where do you need a ride to?" Lori asked as she remembered how infrequent Lana's ride requests were.

"Ride?" Lana questioned. "I just like digging in the trash."

Lori soon smiled and gratefully took what her younger sisters had done for her. "Thank you, thank you, and thank-ugh!" Lori had said the last word when she received her wet and dirty retainer from Lana.

"Just be glad you didn't find and use one of Grandpa Rick's failed inventions like the last few times." Lisa said as she pointed out how many times Lana had succumbed to them.

"Ugh, tell me about it. I started acting like a cat, I lost bladder control, I grew those extra arms…" Lana said as she listed the several side-effects that she'd suffered from those inventions. Before she could list them all, Lori scooped her, Lisa, and Lucy in a somewhat condescending embrace.

"See, Lincoln? These guys respect our arrangement." Lori stated as Lincoln finally regained all her clothes in the laundry basket. She then ended the embrace and allowed her younger siblings to leave hers and Leni's room. Lincoln had only stared in contempt, which quickly turned to disgust when Lori held out a duffle bag filled with even more rancid clothes.

"Oh, and here's my dirty gym clothes." Lori stated as she piled it on to the already filled laundry basket. Lincoln reeled from the stench as he now carried the Lori-sized laundry towards the laundry room…which was in the basement.

"Oh, and don't forget, I like the lavender-scented dryer sheets." Lori said as she closed the door and left Lincoln to his own devices.

With that, Lincoln began the all-too-familiar trek towards the laundry room, only to crash into Leni, who carried several building supplies for some reason.

The resulting collision made both siblings drop their respective items, and left Leni's ass in Lori's laundry basket and Lincoln with Leni's sunglasses over his eyes. Strangely, Leni somehow had a pair of Lori's cargo shorts over her head.

"Sorry, Leni. Ouch!" Lincoln apologized, only for Leni's airborne hammer to crash down onto his foot. After he recovered from the pain, he lifted Leni's sunglasses and asked, "What are you doing with all this stuff?"

"I needed a ride to the mall, so Lori told me to make her bed." Leni revealed, unaware that Lori meant for her to simply fix her messy bed. She then donned a quizzical look and said, "It's kind of weird since I know she has one already."

Meanwhile, Rick had recently woken up and walked up the stairs to say 'good morning' to his grandkids, which left the duo to their own devices.

"Wait, why are you doing favors for Lori?" Lincoln questioned as he knew that Leni was old enough to have a license. "Aren't you old enough to drive yourself?"

"Yeah, but I've failed the driving test 12 times!" Leni lamented as she donned a melancholy demeanor. "Everyone's give up on teaching me. Dad's still pretty ticked about the whole 'fire hydrant-paperboy-nun incident'."

"Yeah. Just be glad that I took care of that so you wouldn't spend the next few years in jail, Angel Smile." Rick stated as he approached the duo with a flask in his hands. He nonchalantly chugged the last of it as Lincoln and Lori took in their grandfather's sudden appearance.

"It's nice to see you, Grandpa Rick. So, I guess you heard what we were talking about, huh?" Lincoln asked, somewhat sheepishly.

"Yes, yes I did." Rick nonchalantly replied. "It's also totally inaccurate. You haven't asked _**everyone**_ , Leni." Rick had said the last sentence as he helped Leni out of the laundry basket. He donned a small smile as Leni contemplated what he'd said.

"Oh, you mean Mr. Grouse?" Leni asked, unaware that Rick had referred to himself as an option. Rick's brief smile fell as Leni soon stroked her chin. "I don't know; he's even older than you, Grandpa Rick."

"I was talking about me, Leni!" Rick said, exasperated.

"Wait, what?!' Lincoln asked fearfully. "Grandpa Rick, you're a terrible driver! The last time you drove the family van, you crashed into two mailboxes, ran over five cats, and ruined that old lady's birthday party in the park!"

"Yeah, not one of my better moments." Rick admitted. "Still, at least her family won't have to celebrate another one of her parties! Huh? Right?" Rick asked as he nudged his grandson as he tried to make the incident seem funny.

"It's still a bad idea, Grandpa Rick." Lincoln replied, unamused.

"That's because I'm used to driving my own wheels, Lincoln. Hell, the only reason I have a license at all is because I bribed that DMV guy." Rick pointed out.

It was true. In fact, Lincoln had remembered how good Rick could drive in his homemade spaceship, well enough that Rick had won several intergalactic races throughout their adventures together. As Lincoln became lost in his own thoughts, an idea formed in his mind. Meanwhile. Rick and Leni had continued the conversation.

"You bribed the DMV guy?" Leni asked.

"Bribed, threatened to kill his wife…whatever you want to call it." Rick callously stated.

"Grandpa Rick, this is perfect! If Leni can drive your spaceship, a car would be a piece of cake! We'd never have to do Lori's chores for rides, again!" Lincoln said jubilantly.

"Ooh, that sounds fun!" Leni declared, only to form a hesitant expression. "Wait, will there be nuns there?"

"'Nun' that I know of." Rick lightly joked, which only made Lincoln and Leni form unamused expressions.

 **Loud House Backyard 8:32 AM**

With the promise of a driving lesson, Rick had escorted Lincoln and Leni to his homemade spaceship parked next to his lab/room. The spaceship itself resembled a metal gray UFO with a glass covered cockpit, slightly broken yellow headlights, a set of thrusters, and a red-and-white sail attached to the back.

"Okay, we just need to hop into the space cruiser and…" Rick stated, only for Leni to interrupt him.

"Wait! I need my special driving outfit!" Leni declared, much to Lincoln and Rick's ire as they waited for her inside the space cruiser. When Leni came back, she now wore a turquoise dress, skirt, gloves, tights, and white boots. She also adorned a turquoise helmet with white sunglasses.

"Okay, now we can…" Rick stated, only for Leni to interrupt him again.

"Wait! I need my special driving smoothie!" Leni declared and left Rick and Lincoln to their own devices again. She came back drinking a smoothie as she approached the cruiser.

"It's a soy pumpkin cookie caramel cream. It's seasonal!" Leni declared happily.

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation and said, "Okay, now we can…"

"Wait!" Leni declared, which only elicited groans from Rick and Lincoln.

"What is it now?" Rick asked.

"Aren't you going to open the door for me?" Leni asked, which made the duo facepalm as Lincoln popped the top of the space cruiser to allow Leni inside. "What a gentleman." Leni said sincerely as she took the driver's seat, Lincoln took the backseat, and Rick took the passenger-side seat.

"Okay, what you need to learn first is how to use the steering wheel." Rick said as he began the lesson.

"Oh, you mean the spinning-thingy?" Leni asked.

"No, the steering wheel." Lincoln clarified.

"Hey! No one likes a backseat driver!" Rick yelled, which made Lincoln instantly stop talking.

"Okay, so sure…the spinning-thingy. You turn it to the left or the right to make the cruiser move in that direction." Rick said as he allowed Leni's interpretation of basic driving concepts.

Leni only had a quizzical look on her face and didn't even bother moving the steering wheel. It was then that Lincoln and Rick came to the same conclusion; Leni needed to know these concepts in terms she could understand.

"Okay, just what does this direction, mean?" Rick said as he pointed both of his arms to the left.

"Oh, my good side!" Leni declared happily as Rick smiled at the progress they were making.

"Perfect! So, the other direction would be…?" Rick asked as he repeated the process, only to the right this time.

"My other good side!" Leni declared.

"Now we're getting somewhere!" Lincoln yelled jubilantly.

"That's right, Lincoln! At this rate, Leni will be a master driver!" Rick declared with a hearty chuckle.

"This is so awesome, Grandpa Rick!" Leni said happily. She then asked, "So, what's next?"

"Well, now you just use the gas pedal to make the cruiser move." Rick stated, only for Leni to form her previous quizzical expression.

"Uh, boots from the 60's?" Lincoln hesitantly asked.

"Go-go!" Leni replied.

"Perfect. So, you just lift the spinning-thingy while on the go-go pedal, and we've got liftoff." Rick stated in Leni's interpretation, which allowed her to do just that. As soon as the cruiser was airborne, Leni lowered the steering wheel and began to steadily drive close to the ground.

"What do I do now, grandpa?" Leni asked as she slowly circled the house, miraculously without hitting anything.

"Just keep it simple like this, L-L-Leni. We don't want to go too fast right now." Rick replied.

"Still, this means that Leni will be able to drive the family van in no time!" Lincoln declared happily.

"True, but w-w-we shouldn't push it. Leni will get in the car when she's good and ready, right Angel Smile?" Rick asked as his granddaughter as she came back to the toolshed and parked exactly where it was before.

"Yeah, I will. Thanks, Grandpa Rick." Leni said sincerely.

"No problem. Next time, I'll show you how to activate the 4th dimensional drift in this sucker." Rick stated as he popped the top of the space cruiser so that they could leave.

"What's that?" Leni asked.

"Oh, just something that's let me win so many races." Rick replied as they all exited the space cruiser.

"It's pretty awesome, Leni." Lincoln said, remembering how often he'd seen it in action.

With that, the trio headed back inside for now.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 9:40 PM**

With their mini-driving lesson out of the way, Rick went into the kitchen and unlocked some beer from the fridge. While this security would seem out of place, in a family with several little kids, the threat of accidentally consuming alcohol was high. As such, all beer and alcoholic beverages were kept in a locked box that only Rick and the Loud parents could access.

Leni had joined her grandfather in the kitchen, only she had gotten a can of lemonade instead. Lincoln smiled as he watched the two clink their cans and sip their respective beverages together.

Meanwhile, Lori was on the couch, relaxing as she'd recently finished her younger siblings' ride requests before bringing them back, and wouldn't have noticed Leni's surprisingly superb driving skills. As such, she took one glance at Leni's driving outfit and scoffed.

"That was your plan, Lincoln? Trying to teach Leni to drive with Grandpa Rick?" Lori asked as she assumed that Rick was trying to console her. "She couldn't even handle the lawnmower."

"Oh, yeah? Well I know for a fact that Leni _**can**_ drive." Lincoln replied knowingly.

Lori merely scoffed again. "Tell that to the paperboy she put in the hospital. Bottom line: Leni is _**not**_ meant to drive. Now, where's Lynn?" Lori asked herself as she took off her shoes. "She owes me a pedicure." With that, Leni traversed upstairs to find her, which left an indignant Lincoln in her wake.

"Oh, really? I think you and everyone else will be surprised when Leni comes back one day with her own driver's license!" Lincoln declared.

Suddenly, Lynn popped up behind the couch with an electric pedicure sander in her hands. "Wait, you and Grandpa Rick taught Leni to drive?"

"Not exactly, but we're getting there." Lincoln clarified.

"That doesn't matter! If Leni can drive, we'll be free!" Lynn declared jubilantly. She then formed a hopeful expression. "Hey, is there any way that we could watch?"

Lincoln formed a quizzical expression that faded away when all his sisters, minus Lori and Leni, appeared from their hiding places, apparently hiding from Lori to avoid the chores they had to do for rides.

Suddenly, Rick and Leni emerged from the kitchen, with Rick smiling warmly at his remaining granddaughters. "You bet there is, Sweet Honeybee." Rick replied, referring to Lynn. He then laid a supportive hand on Leni's shoulder. "Think you've got what it takes, Angel Smile?"

Leni stared into her grandfather's eyes and formed a serious look on her face. Now that she'd gained some confidence in her driving skills, there was no way that she wouldn't pass up this chance. She gave him an affirmative nod, with Rick giving one back.

 **Loud House Backyard 9:50 AM**

After giving Rick her nod, Leni went into the space cruiser, only she was alone this time. While Rick had offered to join her again, Leni politely declined in favor of proving her driving skills to her siblings, but mostly herself. However, unbeknownst to everyone, Rick had an emergency kill-switch that would allow a safe return if anything went wrong in his right coat pocket.

Rick and the remaining Loud siblings watched as Leni expertly achieved liftoff again, only much higher this time. Rick and Lincoln smiled proudly at her while the remaining Loud sisters watched in amazement. Suddenly, Leni began to expertly drive around the house at a reasonable speed, which only elicited cheers from everyone watching.

Meanwhile, after not finding Lynn, Lori had been busy dealing with the laundry Lincoln left earlier and hadn't noticed Leni circling around the house.

"Ugh! Stupid jeggings!" Lori lamented as she accidentally dropped her clothes on the carpet and began to trek around the hallways in search of Lincoln.

"Lincoln, when I get my hands on you, I'm going to…!" Lori yelled angrily, only to finally notice Leni zipping around outside from Luna and Luan's outside window. She quickly approached the window and saw Leni slow down enough to wave hello to her before resuming her previous speed.

However, rather than being happy for her sister's successful driving, Lori's eyes narrowed in jealousy. "I'm not giving up the car keys _**that**_ easily."

After parking by herself, the rest of the Loud siblings cheered as Leni smiled happily. Rick gave her a loving embrace and practically carried her back inside, with Lori overhearing that they would be practicing something called a 4th dimensional drift soon.

With that knowledge, Lori smiled sneakily to herself as she traversed into Lola and Lana's room to borrow the latter's toolbox. After finding it underneath her bed, Lori discretely headed back outside as the rest of her family, minus her already working parents that entrusted her to bring the van back home, celebrated in the kitchen.

As she approached the space cruiser, a mischievous smile formed on her face. "Sorry, Leni. You'll just have to settle for driving videogames." Lori said to herself.

 **Loud House Backyard 10:35 AM**

Lori had managed to find Rick's spare key to access the interior of the space cruiser. Using Lana's tools, Lori found the 4th dimensional drift drive compartment in the floor and began to sabotage it any way she could.

Unfortunately for her, Rick, Leni, and Lincoln had arrived for what would be Leni's final experience in the cruiser before taking the test, which forced Lori to hastily abandon her work. She barely had enough time to screw the latch shut and hide in the trunk of the cruiser as the trio got in, none the wiser to her actions.

"Okay, so we're going to need to get off-planet to activate the 4th dimensional drift. It's too dangerous so close to Earth." Rick revealed as they all took their previous positions.

"Yeah, and you're going to love it Leni!" Lincoln said, proud of his older sister.

"Ooh, I can't wait! I've never felt this much confidence!" Leni declared as she drove the space cruiser high into the atmosphere until it had finally reached space. Leni took in the aerial view of Earth and smiled.

"Okay, Angel Smile. If you can handle _**this**_ , you're going to be able to handle a car. Now, drive straight as fast as you can!" Rick declared as Leni complied. As soon as the cruiser reached the optimal speed, a red latch next to the steering wheel opened to reveal a metal-gray button marked 'Dimension Drift'.

"Okay, just slam it and get ready for the ride of your life!" Lincoln declared excitedly as Leni complied and in a blue flash, the cruiser vanished. Suddenly, the cruiser was now in a dimension of pure white space. However, rather than exit normally, they appeared to be trapped there, much to Rick and Lincoln's confusion.

"Is a dimensional drift supposed to last this long?" Leni innocently asked.

"No, no it's not!" Rick yelled fearfully as he realized what this meant. He quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and unscrewed the latch compartment for the 4th dimensional drift drive and found it in rather bad shape.

Rick made some hasty repairs that managed to get them out of the 4th dimension, but they wound up crashing onto an unknown planet's surface. The force of the impact knocked them all out, including the stowaway Lori.

 **Dimension 809-V 2:00 PM**

After an unknown amount of time had passed, Rick regained consciousness, grateful that the airbags in his ship had prevented any possible concussions or major injuries to anyone. However, when he stepped out of the cruiser, he took in the amount of damage done. The glass cockpit was shattered, the headlights were barely working, a missing thruster, and several holes in the metal-gray exterior.

As Rick continued to do so, Lincoln and Leni had woken up, with Leni helping Lincoln out of the cruiser. They both rubbed their own heads in pain, a thankfully minor injury from a crash of that size.

"Grandpa Rick, what happened?" Lincoln asked, only to hear Leni's gasp of regret.

"Oh, god. Did I do this?" Leni asked fearfully.

"No, Angel Smile. Trust me; you didn't." Rick reassured as he walked back to the cruiser and opened the latch that contained the already-damaged 4th dimension drift drive.

"Wait, isn't that…?" Lincoln asked, only for Rick to interrupt him.

"Yep, Lincoln. The 4th dimensional drift drive was sabotaged, which was why we crashed on this planet." Rick explained, much to Leni's relief.

"So, what does this mean?" Lincoln asked fearfully.

"Well, I could probably fix this, but all we need to do is grab my portal gun and…" Rick stated, only for him to pull out a damaged portal gun with a broken bulb, much to everyone's horror.

"Oh, crap! The impact damaged the portal gun. There's no way back home with the normal way!" Rick exclaimed.

"What?! Oh, this is bad! This is very bad!" Leni exclaimed, panicked.

"Wait, what about interdimensional customs?" Lincoln asked, remembering the alternative way Rick had mentioned on one of their adventures.

"Uh, hello? We could only get there on a special shuttle that appears sporadically in other dimensions." Rick revealed as he pulled out a rather complicated map from his left coat pocket.

"So, why can't we just take our chances and wait for one?" Leni asked.

"Because we have no idea what dimension we're in and some shuttles take years to reach alternate dimensions." Rick explained as he folded the map back. "In any case, we're going to have to find some way to fix the portal gun and get out of here."

"Okay, so how do we do that?" Lincoln asked.

"Well, we first have to find whatever people live in this dimension and hope that they can help us." Rick explained as he spotted a nearby cliff and walked towards it. Rick spotted a town within walking distance, but it looked like something out of medieval times. Rick sighed in exasperation as he headed back towards his grandkids.

Before Rick could talk, the trio heard a loud banging sound coming from the trunk. Rick set aside his grandkids as he approached the trunk with a metal gray laser cannon. Rick then opened the trunk and found Lori in a pile of airbags. As soon as he saw her, Rick put away the laser cannon and helped her out of the cruiser.

"Lori, what were you doing in there?" Rick asked as he inspected her to ensure that she wasn't injured.

Before Lori could explain, Lana's toolbox fell out of the trunk. Lori had a sheepish smile as she attempted to put it back, only for all the incriminating tools to fall out due to the damaged latch. Rick stared at his eldest granddaughter in contempt.

"You sabotaged the 4th dimensional drift drive?" Rick asked, barely able to keep his anger in check.

"Sabo-tage?" Leni asked as she and Lincoln had walked over after seeing Lori.

"You know, like if she went and bought the dress she knew that you wanted." Lincoln explained, trying to match Leni's interpretation.

It had apparently worked as Leni gasped in shock and stared at her older sister in disbelief "How could you?!"

"Okay, I'm sorry! I know that this was crazy and immature, but I didn't plan on us getting trapped in another dimension!" Lori exclaimed defensively.

"Well, believe it, Honey Bunny." Rick stated as he barely managed to calm himself down. "We're in an alternate dimension that probably doesn't have much technology. In any case, we've got to get back home."

With that, Rick led his three grandkids towards the town. However, Leni had a justified angry expression at Lori, who could only look away out of guilt.

 **Dimension 809-V's Thirsty Step 4:00 PM**

Rick and his grandkids arrived at a local tavern called "The Thirsty Step" when Rick noticed one of the patrons holding a green energy source in a glass jar. The patron was rather elderly, likely in his late 70s, with fair skin, balding white hair, and a thick moustache. He wore a red shirt, blue jeans, and brown loafers. Rick knew that the source in the glass jar allowed dimensional travel and he could easily jury-rig a one-way portal back home with it.

Strangely, even though Lincoln, Leni, and Lori were underage, they were easily allowed inside. Apparently, this dimension hadn't set an age limit for people to enter the bar.

When the four entered, Rick noticed that while there were a few humanoids, like the one he'd seen with the power source, there were several stair-like creatures with tiny legs. While Rick and Lincoln were no strangers to the races of the multiverse, Leni and Lori felt immediately uncomfortable when they entered the room. However, it soon subsided as Leni returned to her passive-aggressive demeanor.

"Okay, I'm going to go barter with that guy over there for his power source. Keep an eye on your sisters and make sure they don't get themselves in trouble." Rick stated to Lincoln as he approached the elderly man.

As Lincoln kept the peace, Rick had pulled up a chair and sat across from the old man, who was currently enjoying a chocolate milkshake. However, he stopped drinking it when he noticed Rick and set the energy source down.

"Greetings, true believer! What brings you to this neck of the woods?" the old man asked happily.

"I could ask you the same question. You're not from around here, are you?" Rick asked, refusing to answer the old man.

"Oh, you got me! I just travel from dimension to dimension, looking for exciting adventure!" the old man declared and then held out the energy source. "I take it that this is what you want, yes?"

"Yeah, so how much?" Rick bluntly asked.

"Oh, that hardly seems fair. Wouldn't you care for a chocolate milkshake? They're the frostiest in the multiverse!" the old man suggested as he pointed to an ad above the bar that said exactly that.

"Yeah, no dice, old man. I just want your energy source so that I can get me and my grandkids home." Rick countered as he pointed to a fretful Lincoln trying to placate his older sisters.

"Hmm, fair enough. Would you like to play for it?" the old man stated as he set out a stack of cards. Rick merely smiled in confidence. "You're on, old man!"

Meanwhile, Lincoln had done a decent job at preventing a possible incident between his sisters. While he was angry with Lori for what she'd done, Leni hadn't even bothered talking to her after she'd apologized. Instead, the usually cheerful girl angrily drank vanilla milkshakes on a bar stool.

"Leni, come on! I said that I was sorry!" Lori yelled desperately.

"Leni, I think that you should hear her out. That's your third shake!" Lincoln added, trying to get his sisters to talk to each other.

"No way, Lincoln. I'm going to keep this up until she explains herself." Leni said seriously as she finished her third milkshake.

"It's not that simple, Leni!" Lori said, exasperated. "Just accept my apology!"

"Lincoln, tell her it _**is**_ that simple." Leni said as she drank her fourth milkshake. However, halfway through the shake, Leni stopped drinking and got up from the bar stool. While Lincoln and Lori had thought that Leni would accept her apology, she instead put her knees together and jammed her hands into her crotch.

"Okay, drinking three-and-a-half milkshakes…bad idea!" Leni squealed as she ran towards the bathroom, which left a rather crestfallen Lori and Lincoln in her wake.

"Oh, what am I going to do?" Lori asked as she solemnly started to drink Leni's unfinished milkshake.

"Well, I think that you and Leni should have a talk about this when we get back home. She deserves to know the real reason you did this." Lincoln said as he grabbed the seat next to her.

"I can't tell either of you the real reason! It's way too personal, okay?!" Lori snapped as she finished Leni's milkshake. Knowing that he'd apparently struck a nerve, Lincoln respectfully withdrew the question and settled for rubbing his oldest sister's back.

"Everything's going to be alright." Lincoln said reassuringly, which thankfully calmed her down.

 **Dimension 809-V's Thirsty Step Girls' Bathroom 4:30 PM**

After she finished relieving herself, Leni left the bathroom stall and started to wash her hands. However, she was pleasantly surprised by the woman using the other sink **.** She had a humanoid body type with generous curves. She had light pink skin, long red hair, and glowing pink eyes. She wore a white dress that tastefully showed off her curves and white dress shoes.

"Hello, my name is Sani." Sani said as she introduced herself to Leni.

"Hi, Sani. My name's Leni." Leni replied as she formed a soft smile at this friendly person. "My older sister, younger brother, and our grandfather are visiting your dimension." She then formed a hateful look when she said, "Although, we're only here because Lori, my older sister, totally trashed our ride!"

"Oh, that's rather harsh, darling. She's still your sister and you don't seem like the type to hold grudges." Sani said as the duo dried their hands with some paper towels.

"I am. It's just…Lori's always had to feel so special because she's the oldest." Leni revealed. "You know, she never once offered to teach me how to drive. It's like she thinks that being the oldest is what defines her!"

"Totally understandable. You just feel like you want to get away from it all. Just relax and forget your troubles." Sani said as she started to rub Leni's shoulders, much to Leni's confusion.

"Uh, yeah. I'm not sure how things work here, but you're making me feel uncomfortable." Leni said politely as she took her hands off, only for her to resume her unwanted advances.

"Oh, really? Would you like to forget your troubles, beautiful?" Sani asked, steadily getting angrier.

"Uh, no! It's okay if you're gay, but I'm not and I'm underage, so please let me…!"

Suddenly, Sani threw Leni into a nearby bathroom stall and began to force her reptilian-like tongue down her mouth. Leni attempted to scream for help, but Sani's lips on hers wouldn't allow it. The kissing only stopped when Sani said, "Stop playing around, sexy little tease!"

Leni tried to end the unwanted kissing, but to no avail. Sani had pinned her down as soon as the kissing started, so she couldn't move her arms.

After a few moments, Sani started to move her hands to Leni's panties, which gave her enough freedom to land a powerful punch that sent Sani straggling. She then took off her helmet and started to savagely beat Sani with it. After Leni knocked her face-down into the toilet, she freaked out and repeatedly slammed the toilet lid onto her head until she stopped moving.

As soon as Leni knew that Sani was unconscious from the beating, Leni inspected the damage. Her helmet and practically the entire interior of the bathroom stall was coated in light blue blood. She looked at her hands and her clothes and noticed several splotches stained them, but she was more concerned with that fact that Sani had almost raped her. Leni took a few deep breaths before heading back to her family, specifically Rick, in tears.

 **Dimension 809-V's Thirsty Step 4:43 PM**

Meanwhile, Rick had successfully won the old man's energy source and was currently enjoying a milkshake with him. Rick continued to smile as the traumatized and disheveled Leni approached him, sniffling.

"Oh, you just missed me totally owning this guy in poker, Leni! Where were you?" Rick obliviously asked, although his expression then changed when he noticed the state Leni was in. "Oh, my god. Angel Smile, what happened?"

"It's not important. You got the dimensional-thingy, right?" Leni asked, not even able to look her grandfather in the eye.

"Yeah, but…"

"Please, can we just go home, Grandpa Rick?" Leni begged as she embraced her grandfather. Leni choked back sobs as Rick noticed the thoroughly beaten Sani emerge from the bathroom. Rick's eyes widened when he connected the dots.

"Okay, Leni. We're going home." Rick said reassuringly as he jammed the energy source into his damaged portal gun, which produced a portal back home. Lincoln and Lori quickly joined the duo as they all jumped into the green portal.

However, Rick briefly went back and pulled out his metal-gray laser cannon, which hit Sani not long after Lincoln and Lori went into the portal. The blast instantly disintegrated Sani, much to the apathy of the tavern patrons.

"Hmm, those guys have a lot of issues they need to work out when they get home." The old man stated.

"So, I guess you'll have to pay their bill, Stan." A waitress said as she brought Stan their bill.

"Aw, well. It's like I always say; 'Excelsior'!" Stan happily declared.

 **Rick's Lab 12:00 PM**

Suddenly, the quartet arrived in Rick's lab, with a saddened Leni practically bolting for the house. Lincoln and Lori were tempted to go after her, but Rick prevented them.

"Lincoln, this is something that you won't be able to understand. Go back to your room and stay there for the next few hours, okay?" Rick sincerely requested.

While he wanted to help Leni, Lincoln gave Rick an affirmative nod, not even mad that the Leni driving plan apparently failed as he left.

Lori would've gone with him, but Rick locked the door and stared at his oldest granddaughter in utter contempt.

"Grandpa Rick…"

"Shut your goddamn mouth, Lori!" Rick yelled hatefully.

"Grandpa Rick?" Lori asked in shock.

"Do you have any idea what almost happened to Leni?!" Rick asked angrily.

"Okay, I shouldn't have messed with the dimensional drift drive, but…"

"You seriously think _**that's**_ why I'm undeniably pissed at you, Lori?!" Rick yelled as he pushed a button that instantly opened a latch outside to reveal an identical space cruiser. He then focused on Lori, utter rage in his eyes. "Leni almost lost her virginity because of you!"

"Wait, what?!" Lori asked, horrified.

"You were too self-absorbed to notice and Lincoln was too innocent, but I saw what I needed to see! She was almost raped, Lori! That's not freaking okay!" Rick harshly stated as he breathed heavily to calm down.

Lori had stared at her grandfather tearfully when she realized the unintentional situation she put her sister in. If she hadn't messed with the 4th dimensional drift drive, Leni wouldn't have been anywhere near that dimension when her rape attempt happened.

"Grandpa Rick, I…"

"Look, it's not my place and it's not Lincoln's. Sorry I had to get tough on you, Lori." Rick said as he calmed down long enough to unlock the door. "Comfort your sister. Grandpa's orders. I need to fix the portal gun."

With that, Lori tearfully complied and headed back into the house to talk to Leni.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor 12:05 PM**

Leni had arrived to hers and Lori's room and curled herself into a ball on her bed, crying softly. Lori had arrived a few moments after and had an utterly remorseful expression on her face as she approached her depressed sister.

"Hey, sis. You, uh, feeling okay?" Lori hesitantly asked as she sat on Leni's bed to comfort her.

"I'm n-n-not, Lori" Leni replied, choking back sobs. "I-I almost got…I almost got…"

Lori laid a comforting hand on her sister as she gently stroked her hair. "It's okay, Leni. You don't have to say it." She then took a deep sigh and said, "I'm sorry, Leni. You wouldn't have been anywhere in that dimension if it wasn't for me."

"Lori, I don't blame you for what…you know." Leni said as she regained some composure.

"Well, you should. If I hadn't been so insecure that you guys wouldn't need me, none of this would've happened." Lori revealed sadly, trying not to cry.

"What are you talking about, Lori?" Leni asked, confused.

"I mean, if you can drive, then that means everyone else will someday too and I just can't handle that!" Lori yelled as she started to cry. "Even worse, it almost got you really hurt! I'm so sorry, Leni!"

Suddenly, rather than having a serious tongue-lashing for her selfish reasons, Lori felt her previously crestfallen sister embrace her, much to her surprise.

"Why are you hugging me?" Lori asked, bewildered.

"Because you're being stupid." Leni said lovingly as she ended the sudden embrace. "Look at what you did for me. You didn't need a license to make me feel better. You've always looked out after all of us, even before Grandpa Rick came into the picture."

"I still feel like garbage, Leni. Here you are comforting me when _**you**_ need it the most." Lori pointed out, somewhat solemnly.

"Hey, I'll be okay, Lori. We'll both be." Leni said confidently as she once again embraced her sister. With that, they both smiled as tears rolled down their faces.

 **AN: Now, time to recap.**

 **Lack of Leni's bad driving skills: yeah, after re-watching** _ **Driving Miss Hazy**_ **, I realized that most of Leni's bad driving came from how long it took for Lincoln to figure out how to speak her language. Once he did, Leni became a master driver and with Rick as her teacher, he would've figured it out faster than Lincoln.**

 **Stan Lee cameo: yeah, that was just something I've been meaning to do for a while in at least one of my stories. Also, given how weird** _ **Rick and Morty**_ **can get, it's not unusual to have out-of-place characters based on actual people; especially since their president has the same voice actor as David Anderson from the** _ **Mass Effect**_ **series.**

 **Rick's familiar behavior: yeah, given that he essentially did the same thing to Mr. Jellybean in** _ **Meeseeks and Destroy**_ **, his tirade against Lori would totally be in-character, even though he's significantly nicer here. Also, because I felt like Lori needed a little more punishment for what she did in the canon episode. Bottom line: no one's allowed to mess with Rick's grandkids.**

 **Leni replacing Lincoln in what happened: yeah, this was intended to be more of a Leni chapter than a Lincoln one, but writing it was uncomfortable. Leni's always been the most innocent of the Loud family, except for Lily, and it's what made it all the harder for me to write that scene.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.**

 **Next time – Chapter 3: Dreams and Dogs**


	3. Dreams and Dogs

**AN: Hello, once again, everyone. Now then, I'd like to answer a few questions from the last chapter; mainly about episode order.**

 **So, I plan on having there to be a rather unique mix of both shows' episodes in this story. The only certain thing is that they aren't all guaranteed to match up with their canon episode order and original content will be added. It's mostly because** _ **Rick and Morty**_ **has fewer episodes to use for material and there are some episodes of** _ **The Loud House**_ **that I feel wouldn't work well with** _ **Rick and Morty**_ **.**

 **Also, I do plan on doing** _ **A Rickle in Time**_ **, but that'll be a little further down the road for this fanfic.**

 **Lastly, since this fell around the holiday break, I hope you had an awesome Thanksgiving, everyone!**

 **Now, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 3: Dreams and Dogs

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor 9:00 AM**

It was a typical loud Sunday morning in the Loud House, with most of the kids engaging in some sort of mischief. Lola and Lana were fighting again, Lynn was practicing her parkour, Luan was barging into the others' rooms to tell jokes, and Lisa was busy working on another experiment, only Rick was assisting her this time.

In fact, the only Loud siblings exempt from the chaos were Lincoln, Lori, Leni, Luna, Lucy, and Lily; all of whom were in the living room watching TV with their mother. However, Lily had dozed off in the arms of Luna.

Their mother was in her late 30s with fair skin, large, blonde hair, and pearl earrings. She wore a pinkish-red shirt with a white collar, cuffs, and purple pants. This was Rita Loud.

Suddenly, the family dog, Charles, approached Rita. Charles was a full-grown Pitbull terrier with small ears, a small nose and a black spot over his left eye. Charles stared at Rita, which caused her to look at him quizzically.

"What, you want to go outside?" Rita asked, only for Charles to remain silent. Rita sighed in exasperation and got up from her chair to open the back-kitchen door. "Outside?"

Charles remained silent, which caused the somewhat indignant Rita to return to her chair. However, Charles then nonchalantly urinated on the carpet, which caused differing reactions from the remaining Loud siblings.

"Oh, that's grody!" Leni exclaimed.

"Better out than in, Charles!" Luna praised.

"Sigh." Lucy said indifferently.

"We should've taken him out last night." Lori mentioned.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it." Lincoln defended, when he noticed his mother staring angrily at Charles.

"Lincoln, this is the third time this week that its happened!" Rita angrily pointed out as she put her hands on her hips. She then stared at Charles in contempt. "Bad dog! You do that outside!"

Suddenly, a large, booming sound came from Lisa's room that somehow propelled the little girl and Rick downstairs. It dropped them off in the middle of the living room and escaped through the fireplace. Lisa and Rick were covered in green dust, which caused them both to awkwardly clear their throats in front of their remaining family members.

"Well, that's probably coming back to haunt us, one day." Rick nonchalantly said as he dusted himself and Lisa off. "You have much to learn, Little Poindexter."

"I know, Grandpa Rick." Lisa said, cautiously optimistic that this would mean future experiments.

After Rick finished cleaning them both, he took Lincoln's hand and said, "I'm going to need you for something, now."

However, Rita stopped Rick and said, "Hey, Rick! Do you have a weird sci-fi thing that might make Charles a little smarter?"

"I thought that the whole point of having Charles was to make your kids love you." Rick harshly inferred. "You shouldn't pull at that thread, Rita." He then turned to his grandson. "Come on, Lincoln."

Suddenly, Rita took Lincoln's other hand and stared down at her father-in-law. "Listen, Rick! If you're going to stay here rent-free and keep taking my daughters and only son to God knows where, you have to do more for this family!"

"I always do more for this family, Rita. I take care of all my grandkids." Rick pointed out as he waved to the remaining ones, which they returned lovingly.

"Even so, you should do at least this one thing for me, or Lincoln's grounded!" Rita declared, much to Lincoln's shock.

"Mom!" Lincoln yelled incredulously.

Rick pinched the ridge of his nose in exasperation and reluctantly left to fulfill Rita's request. "Wow, you really got me up against the wall this time, Rita." Rick said halfheartedly as he left. He went into the kitchen and produced a few buzzing sounds before he came back with a dog-sized helmet.

The helmet itself was metal-gray with a blue, see-through visor and a latch on the forehead. There was a lightbulb in the middle with two metal nubs on opposite sides of the head.

Rick then placed the helmet onto Charles and said, "Okay, Charles. Shake." With that, Charles willingly gave his paw to Rick's open palm and shook it, much to the surprise of the remaining Loud sisters.

"Ingenious, Grandpa Rick!" Lisa exclaimed as the others gave generic sounds of praise.

"Think that was impressive, ladies?" Rick asked as he then said, "Now, roll over." As before, Charles complied, only with Rick adding, "Now, go to the bathroom."

Amazingly, Charles walked off on his own and went into the bathroom, apparently using it as he flushed the toilet by himself and came back, which made the remaining Loud sisters clap in amazement.

"No freaking way." Rita said, awestruck.

"Yeah, hope you enjoy the little guy now. Let's go, Lincoln." Rick stated as he dragged Lincoln back to his lab.

 **Rick's Lab 9:05 AM**

As soon as they arrived in the lab, Lincoln said, "Wow, Grandpa Rick. That was amazing!"

"Of course it was, Lincoln. Although, you're going to be even more amazed by this." Rick said as he went to his workbench, which had a small, white tarp over it. When he unveiled it, it was a metal-gray, flash drive-like device. It had a matching antenna with a red tip and green bars on its side.

"Whoa. What is it?" Lincoln asked.

"It's a special device that when you put it into your ear, you can enter people's dreams, Lincoln." Rick revealed, although he sounded a bit spaced out with the last part of the sentence.

"Are you high, Grandpa Rick?" Lincoln bluntly asked, having years of experience with Rick's shenanigans.

"Not today, Lincoln!" Rick declared as he placed it into a silver case with several other identical devices. "It's going to be like that movie everyone used to talk about. Except it's going to make sense."

"What's the big deal about dream invasion, grandpa?" Lincoln asked, still unsure of the use for this device.

"Well, duh! We're going to invade the dreams of that Flip guy. We'll incept the idea for him to give refunds and get a total r-r-refund for when he scammed you the other day." Rick revealed.

It was true; Lincoln and his sisters were often scammed by Flip, with Lincoln being the most recent victim after Flip cheated him out of his comic book money.

"I don't know, grandpa. It kind of sounds too invasive." Lincoln said cautiously.

"Lincoln, this is for the greater good! Everyone in town's been scammed by that fat prick, well…except for me." Rick pointed out, with a hint of smugness.

"Well…he did scam me and my sisters more time than I can count…" Lincoln said, forming a small, mischievous smile.

"Exactly! No one screws with my grandkids, Lincoln." Rick said as he gave him a loving hair tousle. "This is the mother of all payback schemes, Lincoln!"

With that, Rick and Lincoln walked outside and hopped into the space cruiser, headed for Flip's house.

 **Flip's House 9:15 AM**

Rick and Lincoln soon arrived at Flip's house, which they could do with ease since most residents of Royal Woods knew about Rick's space cruiser. Thankfully, they were indifferent to its sight since it often meant danger, so they left well enough alone.

Flip's home was a dingy, one-story house with a poorly-kept lawn, broken lawn ornaments, and windows with trash bags over them. As such, Rick and Lincoln easily broke in after Rick parked the cruiser in Flip's backyard.

"Wait, isn't this illegal?" Lincoln asked his grandpa after they entered Flip's home.

"Lincoln, no one cares about this guy. Trust me, no one's going to investigate this." Rick reassured as they found Flip, sleeping on a blue, rat-infested couch.

Flip was a portly and short, elderly man with fair skin, gray hair, with a bald spot on his head. He was currently in his pajamas, which consisted of a white, mustard-stained tank-top and blue boxers. He had apparently fallen asleep while watching TV, which Rick turned off when they approached the slumbering old man.

"Whoa, that was close. I'm a full season behind, Lincoln." Rick said as he inserted the device into Flip's right ear.

"It's kind of weird being in Flip's house, Grandpa Rick." Lincoln said, somewhat nervously.

"It's going to get a whole lot weirder, Lincoln." Rick said as he got Lincoln into a nearby dining room chair before he inserted one of the other devices into Lincoln's left ear. When it was inserted, Lincoln instantly fell asleep.

Rick then positioned himself into a surprisingly intact beanbag chair before doing the same thing to himself.

 **Flip's Dream?**

Suddenly, Rick and Lincoln found themselves inside of Flip's Food & Fuel, only it wasn't the disgusting rest stop the duo were familiar with. Instead, it was incredibly clean and large enough to be a mall. Rick and Lincoln hid behind a shelf as they avoided several employees and customers to find Dream Flip.

Thankfully, they found Dream Flip, only he was a significantly taller, more muscular Flip with long, brown hair and wore a black suit. Additionally, Dream Flip had several women around his arms, which made him smile perversely.

"Ugh, the ego on this guy." Rick acknowledged.

"So, how does this work, Grandpa Rick?" Lincoln asked.

"Follow my lead, Lincoln." Rick replied as he pulled out a roll of duct tape from his left coat pocket and grabbed four nearby soda bottles. After securing them to his abdomen, Rick then pulled out a red domino mask and placed it on Lincoln's face.

"Cool! Ace Savvy's domino mask from the 1965 comic book story masterpiece, _Attack of the Gas Monster_!" Lincoln praised as he recognized the mask.

"Exactly. Now watch me, Lincoln." Rick said as he and Lincoln stepped in front of Dream Flip.

"Who are you two?" Dream Flip asked.

"Allah, Akbar! I've got a bomb strapped to my chest." Rick claimed as he revealed his fake bomb by opening his lab coat. "We're going to totally blow this place to smithereens unless you rightfully give out refunds!" Rick declared, only for Dream Flip to stare him down.

"Hey, what's the BFD? Didn't you hear me, buddy?" Rick asked defiantly.

"The name's not 'Buddy', punk. It's Flip Farrow." Dream Flip declared as he ended his perverted embrace and pulled out two machine guns. He then shot several bullets at the duo, which they were barely able to avoid as they ducked behind the shelves.

"Okay, Flip's got more control here than I anticipated! I mean, the guy runs a convenience store!" Rick yelled to Lincoln over the bullets. "I-I really didn't take him for an active dreamer!"

"What are we supposed to do, grandpa?!" Lincoln asked fearfully.

"We've got to take him out so that he wakes up, but we can't get killed! If we die here, we'll die for real, Lincoln!" Rick revealed.

"Wait, what?! Why didn't you tell me that before we got in here?!" Lincoln asked incredulously.

"Just relax, Lincoln! You and your sisters avoid getting shot at in real-life on a bi-weekly basis. You just do that, and we'll be fine!" Rick reassured, despite Lincoln's unease.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 9:23 AM**

Meanwhile, the rest of the Loud siblings and their parents had been enjoying their time with the new Charles, except for Lana. While it was beneficial for Charles to have intelligence, she always liked him the way he was before. As such, she simply huffed on the couch and barely acknowledged the new Charles.

Rita had been recording Charles' new intelligence with a camcorder while her husband and most of her children enjoyed him.

Her husband was in his late 30s with fair skin and thinning curly brown hair. He wore a green sweater with a light-green checkered collar and cuffs, and brown slacks. This was Dante Loud.

"Oh, this is so perfect! Charles is like a little butler, now!" Leni praised as Charles gave her an iced tea before serving the rest of the ones who'd asked.

"So, fascinating." Lisa acknowledged as she had been busy taking notes on Charles' new behavior.

"I have to say, he's literally more useful now." Lori said contentedly as she enjoyed some orange juice.

"Well, I still think that this is an abomination!" Lana yelled, voicing her displeasure towards the new Charles. "This dog isn't Charles anymore! He's supposed to be happy and carefree!"

"Ugh, killjoy." Lola responded.

"Now, I know that this will take some getting used to, but this is the new Charles. We'll have to make the best of it." Dante said reassuringly to Lana, only to ask Charles to be a footstool after he finished serving the family.

Suddenly, Charles removed himself from Dante's feet and stared at the family, much to their surprise. Even more shocking, Charles had begun saying garbled words from his mouth.

"Oh, my god! I think he's trying to tell us something, dudes!" Luna said excitedly.

"Oh, he's saying 'I love lasagna'!" Rita inferred, only for Charles to shoot her an incredulous look.

"I think you're _**barking**_ up the wrong tree, mom!" Luan joked, which only caused her and her father to laugh.

With that, Charles attempted to speak again, only to produce an array of similar responses from most of the family. After realizing that they wouldn't understand him, Charles went over to the window by the front door, which gave him a clear view of his helmet. The others would've gone after them, but they quickly got involved with their own things.

Charles growled inquisitively as he opened the latch over his forehead and saw a battery with four missing slots. He then walked into the kitchen and found some batteries inside one of the lower cabinets. Charles stared at the batteries in reverence before he made his decision.

 **Flip's Dream?**

As soon as they heard Flip reloading the magazines in the machine gun, Rick stepped out from behind cover and stared at Flip placatingly.

"Flip, we just want to talk." Rick said reassuringly.

"Why would I negotiate with you, punks?" Dream Flip asked.

"We're both rational adults who don't want anything bad to happen." Rick stated, only to reveal one of Dream Flip's girls in a chokehold. "Also, I have an expendable human shield."

"QT!" Dream Flip yelled fearfully, which instantly made the entire store panic.

"Oh, crap! His subconscious is freaking out, Lincoln!" Rick revealed as the dream people began to run wild through the store, causing chaos wherever they could.

Suddenly, the store had somehow rocketed into outer space, with one of the panicking dream people opening the door, which sucked the entirety of the store into the endless void of space. Thankfully, Rick had installed emergency breathing apparatuses into the DNA of himself and his grandkids, which allowed him and Lincoln to breathe easily.

Strangely, the girl Rick had grabbed somehow had on a spacesuit as well as Dream Flip. Even stranger, Dream Flip had somehow built a black hole device with a giant, mechanical claw as the trio slowly drifted into its path.

"Oh, no! Dream Flip's created a black hole device with a giant, mechanical claw that'll save this girl, but throw us into a black hole!" Lincoln fearfully inferred.

"That would be a concise explanation, Lincoln. It seems that we've only prolonged the inevitable." Rick said acceptingly, only for a new idea to form in his mind. "That's it, Lincoln! If we go into QT's dream, it'll buy us some time to figure this out!"

"Uh, what?!" QT asked incredulously as Rick pulled out a pair of brass knuckles and punched QT's head, which instantly knocked her out. Rick then inserted the devices into everyone's respective ear.

 **QT's Dream?**

Suddenly, Rick and Lincoln found themselves in a rather depressing nightclub. The patrons were very depressed, which was only accentuated by the horrid conditions of the nightclub; the windows were broken, the floor was a mess, and the curtains on the stage were torn with several burn marks.

"Grandpa Rick, what do we do?" Lincoln asked.

"Don't worry, Lincoln. We just need to find QT's dream self somewhere and incept the idea for her to stop Flip from killing us." Rick explained. "Now, be quiet. We can't risk drawing attention to ourselves before finding her."

Suddenly, the curtains opened to reveal Dream QT in a purple shawl and red skirt. While Lincoln was tempted to talk to her, Rick prevented him.

"Grandpa Rick, what are you doing?" Lincoln asked incredulously.

"Lincoln, the trick to incepting is to make the person think _**they**_ come up with it. We can't just go up there and ask." Rick explained, much to Lincoln's disappointment.

Meanwhile, Dream QT had begun singing, which had lifted the dreary mood of the nightclub. However, she soon stripped down to reveal herself in a skintight red dress, which made every man in the club hoot with a perverse delight.

"Huh, that's weird." Lincoln said to himself, unaware of what made it so appealing to them. He then turned to Rick and saw him missing. Lincoln looked around the room and saw his grandfather join the patrons in hooting, only to take it a step further.

"Hey, beautiful! Are you into well-hung sixty-year-old men?" Rick asked perversely as he climbed onto the stage, only to immediately be apprehended by a rather beefy bouncer. The bouncer had short, light orange hair and tanned skin. He wore a black shirt, blue jeans, and brown boots.

"We're going to take this outside, old man!" the bouncer declared, only for Rick to gain the upper hand and put the bouncer in a sleeper hold.

"Lincoln, hurry up! We've got to go a dream deeper!" Rick yelled as Lincoln ran to his side as the bouncer succumbed to Rick's sleeper hold. Rick then used the dream inceptors again, which left the dream patrons to their own devices.

 **Bouncer's Dream?**

Suddenly, Rick and Lincoln found themselves in a rather dark, broken-down factory alongside a terrified bouncer.

"What the nuts? Why would Flip's dream version of QT, dream version of a beefy bouncer, be dreaming about a scary place like this?" Lincoln asked his grandfather.

"I'm not sure, Lincoln. All that matters now is getting out of here." Rick said reassuring, only to hear swords scraping against metal.

"Welcome to your nightmare, bitches!" a gravelly voice said as it confronted the duo.

The voice belonged to someone with deformed purple skin, sharp teeth, eyes with a yellow sclera, and a monobrow. He wore a blue and green-striped sweater, gray slacks, a black fedora, and gloves with small swords on the fingers. Strangely, this creature had a second set of testicles hanging from his chin. This was Scary Terry.

Suddenly, Scary Terry ran at the duo, which forced them to start running in fear. Rick looked back and said, "It's some sort of legally-safe knockoff of an '80s horror character with miniature swords for fingers instead of knives."

"I'm Scary Terry! You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!" Scary Terry yelled as he wildly slashed and ran towards the duo.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 12:00 PM**

After Charles, had mysteriously left, the remaining members of the Loud family were passing the time any way they could, only for Charles to suddenly show up with a battery pack connected to cables from his helmet, which had a mechanical arm attached to that. He also had a metal collar around his neck with a blue light,

"Uh, hey, Charles. What's going on?" Rita asked uneasily.

" _Charles had to fix; make this better. Do you understand me, now?"_ Charles asked with a synthesized British voice, which made the light on his collar blink with every word.

"That is awesome! The fact that it's British makes it ten-times better!" Luna praised.

"Oh, boy. I theorized that this might happen." Lisa said as she reviewed her notes.

" _Charles wants to be understood. Charles_ _ **needs**_ _to be understood."_ Charles said, somewhat threateningly.

"Uh, you know…maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Rita said nervously as she approached the newly sentient Charles, fully intending to remove the helmet, only for the Loud sisters to stop her, even Lana.

"Mom, that's literally unethical!" Lori said incredulously, speaking for her sisters.

While the females of the family bickered, Charles had jumped onto the couch alongside Dante and a fussy Lily before he activated his mechanical arm and flipped the channel to _Dog's Life_.

" _A sophisticated predator; nature's perfect killing machine, the wolf, stalks its prey with purpose and skill."_ the narrator said, with Charles clinging to his every word.

" _It was only through years of selective breeding and genetic altering that this noble beast was transformed into man's subservient little buddy!"_ the narrator said cheerfully.

Charles glared at the TV in contempt as he watched his canine brethren stupidly serve the humans in a pet show. It only increased when they showed a promo for _Air Bud_.

"Ooh, he recognizes the other dogs on TV!" Leni said innocently, taking a break from their arguing.

 **Bouncer's Dream?**

Meanwhile, Rick and Lincoln were still running away from Scary Terry, with him somehow able to pop up anywhere they went. Strangely, they heard a little girl's voice singing a song about Scary Terry throughout the chase.

"We've got to find someone else's dream to escape into, Lincoln!" Rick declared as the duo ran into the little girl playing jump-rope, the same one that was singing.

The little girl had light orange hair in pigtails, fair skin, and wore a simple white dress with a red sash and matching shoes.

"That little girl!" Rick yelled, only for Lincoln to unexpectedly grab Rick's brass knuckles and punch her square in the face, much to Rick's surprise.

"What? You're the only one who gets to hit dream people?" Lincoln asked, somewhat smugly. Rick gave his grandson a playful hair tousle before he inserted the dream inceptors once again.

 **Little Girl's Dream?**

Suddenly, Rick and Lincoln found themselves in the same factory; the only difference being that the little girl was still singing.

"Oh, what?! It looks like we've reached dream bedrock, Lincoln." Rick said resignedly.

"Oh, this is bad! What are we going to do, grandpa?!" Lincoln asked fearfully.

"Nothing but fear from here on out, bitch!" Scary Terry declared as he began chasing the duo again, much to their surprise.

"Holy crap, Lincoln. He can travel through dreams." Rick stated, only to form a fully justified fearful look. "He can travel through dreams, Lincoln! We're beyond screwed!"

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor 3:00 PM**

Meanwhile, Lori had been busy texting Bobby in hers and Leni's room and hadn't noticed the sound of servos until Leni had fearfully nudged her.

"Leni, what are you…?" Lori asked, only to see Charles in a metal suit with mechanical arms and legs. He'd retained the cables and battery pack, but they were now at a larger scale to accommodate the suit.

" _Where are my testicles, Lori?"_ Charles asked, much to hers and Leni's fear.

" _Where are my testicles, Lori?"_ Charles repeated, steadily getting angrier. _"They were removed without my consent, Lori. Where are they?"_

"Uh, that's a pretty…weird way of questioning, Charles." Lori replied nervously.

" _You are never allowed to call me that, again!"_ Charles yelled angrily as he coldly smashed Lori's dresser.

Lori and Leni screamed fearfully and embraced each other as Charles approached them.

"' _Charles' was my slave name. My new name is Domino, because I have lovely black splotches on my pretty, white fur."_ Domino stated to the terrified sisters.

"It suits you, Domino." Leni said fearfully.

"Yeah. Can you please calm down?" Lori asked. "You're scaring us."

" _Scaring you two?"_ Domino asked as he approached them further, which only made them hug each other even tighter. _"Tell me, Lori and Leni; if a human was born with stubby legs would they breed it with another deformed human and put their children on display, like Dachshunds?"_

Suddenly, Rita and Dante came into the room and gasped at the sight of Domino.

"Oh, crap. I think that this was a big mistake." Rita said, acknowledging her bargain with Rick.

"Yeah. Classic dad." Dante said nonchalantly.

" _Rita. Come to yell at me for urinating on your precious carpet, again?"_ Domino accused as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Uh, no!" Rita quickly defended as she struggled to think of something that would get them out of here alive.

"We were just wondering if Lori and Leni would join us on a…late afternoon scavenger hunt." Dante said, improvising.

"Oh, totally. Let's go." Lori said knowingly as she and Leni left with their parents, only for Leni to form a quizzical look.

"Wait, I thought that we were running away from Domino." Leni stated, only for them all to be greeted by a brown Rottweiler in a similar suit and helmet that growled at them menacingly. It then stepped to the side to reveal most of the remaining Loud siblings apprehended by several other dogs, except for Lana who was simply thrown into the room and caught by Domino.

" _You and Lincoln will be spared. The rest will suffer."_ Domino stated to Lana as the Rottweiler apprehended the remaining members of the Loud family.

 **Little Girl's Dream?**

After they escaped the factory, Rick and Lincoln were now in a rather desolate town with the same dark atmosphere as before. However, they managed to find shelter in a nearby car, much to the duo's relief.

"Wait, what are we doing here, again?" Rick asked, acknowledging how far their initial adventure had changed.

"We're trying to get a refund from Flip, remember?" Lincoln replied.

"Oh, yeah." Rick said nonchalantly as he somehow managed to start the car. As soon as he gave Lincoln a thumbs-up, Scary Terry suddenly appeared in the backseat.

"Buckle up, bitches!" Scary Terry yelled as Rick and Lincoln ran away in fear yet again.

"Man, he really loves the B-word!" Lincoln acknowledged.

"You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!" Scary Terry yelled, affirming Lincoln's generalization.

"Hey, you know what, Lincoln? He keeps saying that we can run, but we can't hide; I say we try hiding." Rick suggested as they stopped near a desolate and boarded up church.

"How does that make sense, Grandpa Rick?!" Lincoln asked fearfully.

"Think about it, Lincoln. Why should we even listen to this prick? Worst case: we're back to running." Rick reassured.

"Huh, that's actually a good plan, grandpa." Lincoln conceded.

With that, Rick dragged his grandson into the church, waiting patiently for Scary Terry to hopefully give up.

 **6 Dream Hours Later**

Thankfully, Rick's assumption proved to be correct as Scary Terry had yet to find them. However, they watched his progress from between the boards of the church, to make sure that he wouldn't find them.

"Wow, you were right, grandpa. This was a great plan." Lincoln complimented.

"Thanks, Lincoln. It's nice to be on the same page when it goes as far as this." Rick said sincerely.

Meanwhile, Scary Terry had been searching for them and ran out of obvious hiding places, thankfully avoiding the church.

"Oh, you can run…" Scary Terry said as he eyed a trashcan. "…but you can't hide!" Scary Terry yelled as he lifted the trashcan lid, only to sigh in disappointment before he let out an exhausted yawn.

"Perfect, he's getting sleepy. Once he's asleep, we make our move." Rick stated as they discretely began to follow Scary Terry back to his house.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 6:00 PM**

Meanwhile, Domino had secured most of the Loud family in three giant metal crates. Lynn, Luna, and Luan were in the first one; Lucy, Lola, Lily, and Lisa were in the second one; and Rita, Dante, Lori, and Leni were in the third one. Lana was kept on a beanbag chair next to Domino's throne with a leash around her neck. The remaining Loud pets were simply kept in their actual cages.

After he'd secured the Loud family, Domino's followers had created an assembly line to make new suits for the remaining dogs in Royal Woods, and then the world.

"Charles, we never wanted to hurt you! This is a big misunderstanding!" Rita bargained.

"Mom, he wants to be called 'Domino' now." Lori said fearfully.

"Well, that's not happening, honey." Rita said, somewhat sardonically.

" _You are being unreasonable, Rita. Perhaps tomorrow, Dr. Scraps will correct that problem with some_ _ **surgery**_ _?"_ Domino suggested as a Chihuahua appeared, holding a pair of surgical scissors in his suit's right hand.

Rita merely scoffed. "You seriously think that I'm afraid of a haircut?"

"I don't think that's what those scissors are for, mom." Lynn said as she and the rest of her sisters unconsciously covered their crotches.

Rita's eyes widened before she did the same. "Oh."

 **Little Girl's Dream?**

After he failed in his quest to kill Rick and Lincoln, Scary Terry drove back home in a white car, unaware that Rick and Lincoln had been secretly following him.

After he pulled into the driveway, Scary Terry had ventured inside the house with a depressed look on his face. Much to Rick and Lincoln's surprise, he had a wife and baby son. His wife had similar features to himself, but she had slightly lighter skin, two blonde eyebrows, yellow earrings, patches of blonde hair, and lacked the testicle chin. She wore a white shirt, a green skirt, a white apron, and yellow gloves with swords as she washed the dishes.

His son also had similar features, only with strands of his father's former purple hair and a mix of his parent's skin color. He wore a white diaper and tiny gloves with a single sword in them.

"So, how was work, today?" Scary Terry's wife asked affectionately.

"I don't want to talk about it." Scary Terry replied tersely.

"Oh, of course _**you**_ don't want to talk about it." Scary Terry's wife accused, referring to the numerous times she'd never gotten an answer from him.

"Get off my back, bitch!" Scary Terry yelled spitefully, which only caused his son to cry and his wife to stare at him angrily as she embraced their son.

"Out there; _**never**_ in here!" Scary Terry's wife said tersely.

Scary Terry instantly had a look of remorse as he approached his family. "I'm so sorry, Melissa. I shouldn't take my anger out on you or Scary Brandon." Scary Terry then kissed his son, which made Melissa smile.

"I love you, Melissa. You're as beautiful as the day I met you in college." Scary Terry said affectionately as he kissed his wife on her left cheek.

"Oh, Terry." Melissa said seductively as she began to make-out with her husband.

"This is perfect, Lincoln. After a night of scary…relations, he'll be fast asleep and we'll incept him and end this nightmare." Rick said, trying hard to avoid any mention of sex to Lincoln until he was older.

Soon enough, and with Rick averting Lincoln's eyes and ears, Scary Terry was fast asleep with his wife in their bed. This easily allowed Rick and Lincoln to enter through Scary Terry's window and insert the dream device into his right ear.

"Hmm, looks like he's having a nightmare, Lincoln." Rick said as he noticed Scary Terry's frantic rustling.

"Oh, man. What could scare someone like Scary Terry?" Lincoln asked fearfully as he and Rick fell asleep once again.

 **Scary Terry's Dream?**

Suddenly, Rick and Lincoln found themselves in a high school classroom, surrounded by students that resembled Scary Terry in some way. They soon located a younger Scary Terry, whose only differences were his lack of the fedora, him wearing a green shirt, and strangely no pants.

"So then, can anyone tell me what the proper wordplay should be used while chasing one's victim through a pumpkin patch?" the teacher said as he stood in front of Scary Terry, clearly wanting him to answer the question.

"Um, 'bitch'?" Scary Terry said uncertainly, much to amusement of the rest of the class.

"No, Terrance. Seriously, you couldn't think of a pun involving pumpkins, bitch?' the teacher mocked, only for Rick and Lincoln to step in.

"Hey, leave him alone!" Lincoln yelled defiantly.

"Yeah, this is bull-crap! Who cares what you say when kill someone?" Rick added, much to the surprise of the teacher. "What happened to free speech, jackass?!"

The teacher then let out a series of embarrassed sputters before he left the class in a huff, which allowed Rick and Lincoln's plan to unfold.

"Hey, you're putting too much pressure on yourself, bro. I-I-I mean you're perfectly scary the way you are." Rick said comfortingly.

"Also, you shouldn't worry about your pants, dude. Have a pair, on us." Lincoln said as he handed Scary Terry a pair of black jeans in his size.

"Aw, I don't know what to say, drunken scientist and masked boy." Scary Terry said sincerely as he put on the pants.

"You don't have to say anything, man. Just come here." Rick said as they shared a group hug.

 **Little Girl's Dream?**

Suddenly, Scary Terry woke up and saw a smiling Rick and Lincoln, which made him smile in return.

"Hey, it's you guys." Scary Terry said sincerely.

After a brief explanation to Melissa, the trio enjoyed a simple drink of coffee, much to everyone's joy.

"I haven't seen him this relaxed in years." Melissa said happily.

"Hey, if you guys ever need anything, just say the word." Scary Terry said, smiling.

"Actually, Terry…we've got a big favor to ask you." Rick said.

With that, the trio had teleported back to the factory, where the little girl was still singing. Scary Terry declared, "I always hated that song!", before he decapitated her.

 **Bouncer's Dream?**

With the dream version of her dead, the little girl woke up, which allowed the trio to escape and find the cowering bouncer.

"Steroids will ruin your life, bitch!" Scary Terry declared as he sliced through the bouncer in half.

 **QT's Dream?**

With the dream version of the bouncer dead, the bouncer woke up, which allowed the trio to get onstage with the scantily-clad QT.

"Exploiting your body in a public place is sick, bitch!" Scary Terry yelled as he disemboweled QT.

 **Flip's Dream?**

With the dream version of QT dead, QT woke up, with the trio arriving a few feet away from Dream Flip's black hole machine. Scary Terry quickly transformed into a rocket and shot himself into the device.

"This is for not giving refunds, bitch!" Scary Terry declared as the device exploded, which instantly killed Dream Flip moments before it would've killed Rick and Lincoln.

 **Flip's House 7:00 PM**

With the dream version of him dead, Flip woke up, unaware that Rick and Lincoln were hiding behind his couch with all the dream inceptors recovered.

"Whoa! I have no idea what just happened, but I do know one thing; I'm giving out refunds to everyone I've ever scammed!" Flip declared as he went back to the kitchen, muttering to himself, "That was an original idea, by me."

With Flip, out of their line of sight, Lincoln shared a celebratory fist bump with his grandpa before they left, grateful that this nightmare was finally over.

 **Loud House 7:10 PM**

As soon as they arrived at the house, Rick and Lincoln saw the numerous newly sentient dogs carrying boxes of heavy ammunition and suit supplies.

"What the?" Lincoln asked.

"Out of the frying pan and into the fire, huh Linc?" Rick replied resignedly.

"Wait, what's going on?" Lincoln asked.

"Well, it's _**possible**_ that Charles became self-aware and made improvements on the Cognition Amplifier. He would've likely turned on the rest of our family after learning about his species role in our society." Rick inferred and then formed a sheepish smile. "Hey, your guess is as good as mine, Linc. I mean, there was like a 75% chance of this happening."

After landing the space cruiser, Rick and Lincoln found most of their family tied to several posts in the front yard by cheap rope.

"Wow. I can't believe how evil Charles got just because he's smart now." Dante said, vocalizing the situation.

"See? It's situations like this that remind me why I get C's in school, mom and dad." Lynn said, acknowledging her average grades.

"Well, looks like you need some help." Rick stated as he and Lincoln approached their captive family.

"Dad!" Dante said as Rick freed him.

"Glad to see you're okay, son." Rick said sincerely as he and Lincoln easily freed the remaining members.

"Wait, where's Lana?" Lincoln asked.

"Apparently, Domino wanted her and you for something." Lisa inferred.

"Domino?" Rick and Lincoln asked.

"Charles' new name." Lola clarified.

"Yeah, that makes sense. You and Mud Pie showed the most affection towards him when he was still a normal dog." Rick said, agreeing with his second-youngest granddaughter's assumption.

"In any case, what do we do now?" Luna asked.

"My plan: we find a nearby sewer and set up shop before the dogs take over the world." Rick suggested.

"Wait, what? This is our family home. There's no way we're abandoning it." Rita said sternly.

"Think about it, Rita. The dogs are on the path towards global conquest." Rick pointed out and then shot her a scornful look. "Well, at least they know not to piss on your precious carpet now, right?"

Suddenly, an army of the dogs arrived and surrounded the family in a circle. While Lincoln had only been guided in, the rest of the family had been manhandled by the dogs' mechanized suits.

" _You were always kind to me, Lincoln. It is why you and Lana will be allowed to keep your genitals. You will both remain by my side for the rest of my life as my friends."_ Domino revealed as Lincoln sat on the right side of Domino's throne, with Lana on the left.

"Uh, thanks." Lincoln said, somewhat halfheartedly.

" _Begin phase 2."_ Domino stated to one of his Rottweiler soldiers.

 **One Year Later**

It had been an entire year since the dogs had successfully taken over the Earth, with them enslaving or killing most of the humans on the planet. Even though reconstruction was on its way, the revolution had left most of the Earth as a war zone. However, Domino's mansion was in pristine condition as Lincoln and Lana woke up to the familiar sight of one of Domino's soldiers with breakfast.

"Morning, Fido." Lincoln said drowsily.

"Whew, I'm hungry. What's on the menu, today?" Lana asked excitedly.

Suddenly, Rick appeared and instantly bashed Fido's head in with a metal baseball bat, the same metal he used to create the first Cognition Amplifier.

"Grandpa Rick?!" Lincoln and Lana asked simultaneously.

"Yeah, it's me, kids." Rick said nonchalantly.

"We thought you were dead!" Lana yelled incredulously.

"Nah, I was just playing dead. Good news, though. This is going to be over really soon." Rick said confidently.

"What are you talking about, grandpa?" Lincoln asked.

"This is all a dream, kids! It's Domino's dream!" Rick revealed, much to the shock of the duo.

"Wait, what?!" Lana said in disbelief.

"It's true; on the night, the dogs captured us, you guys fell asleep, which allowed me to use my dream inceptors to beam all three of us into Domino's dream." Rick clarified.

"Wait, it's been a whole year, grandpa." Lincoln said in disbelief.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure it's been six hours. You see, dreams move at 1/100th the speed of reality and dog dreams are 1/7th human time. So basically, every day here's been about a minute." Rick revealed and then formed a somewhat confused look. "It doesn't really make much sense, but neither did that movie and it still worked."

"Aw, seriously? I actually like this life." Lana said in disappointment.

"Don't worry about it, Mud Pie. Everything will be back to normal as soon as the two of you take this medicine." Rick said as he gave them each three red-and-blue pills, which they swallowed instantly.

"So, is this supposed to make us wake up, or something?" Lana asked.

"Actually, it's going to simulate total kidney failure for a few hours." Rick revealed, much to the shock of the duo.

"Wait, what?!" Lincoln and Lana asked simultaneously.

"Don't worry. The dream should end before you both die…probably." Rick said, almost uncertainly as he awkwardly rubbed his grandkids' faces.

Soon enough, Lincoln and Lana were attached to emergency life-support systems, with Domino tearfully looking after them. Rick had hijacked the deceased Dream Fido's suit and donned a pair of fake dog ears and a nose to fool Domino, which surprisingly worked.

"Ooh, they don't look too good, Emperor Domino." Rick said, pretending to be Fido. "I think they'll need another operation."

" _Anything. Anything for my precious Lincoln and Lana."_ Domino said, on the verge of tears.

" _Sir, as your accountant, I must advise you that these medical bills are draining your finances. You could lose your entire kingdom."_ the Shih Tzu accountant stated.

" _To hell with my kingdom, Simon!"_ Domino yelled as he slapped him across his face. _"It means nothing to me without my precious Lincoln and Lana."_

" _Do you honestly think that they would've done the same for us?"_ Simon asked incredulously as he recovered from Domino's attack.

" _We are_ _ **not**_ _them!"_ Domino yelled angrily, only to form a revered expression. _"We are not…them."_

 **Royal Woods Dog Shelter 5:00 AM**

After he had awakened from his slumber, Domino was granted the use of Rick's portal gun to open a gateway for his kind. At the 'suggestion' of Domino's soldiers, the shelter owners complied and allowed their dogs to walk into the portal. He stared at the Loud family in reverence before clearing his throat.

" _I am truly sorry for what I've done. I now realize that world domination will only lead to more destruction, so I am truly grateful you have allowed us safe passage for a new world; a world that will avoid the same mistakes as humanity…and most importantly, where pet insurance will be mandatory."_ Domino said sincerely.

"Oh, I'm really going to miss you, Domino." Lana said, on the verge of tears.

"Me too, Domino." Lincoln added, although he'd been smiling.

" _No. You two can always call me, 'Charles'. Thank you, for everything."_ Domino said as he affectionately licked their foreheads. Lincoln and Lana were barely able to hold back their tears as he leapt into the portal, mere moments before it closed.

Rick stared at his grandkids in empathy and hugged them both. "Hey, he'll be fine."

"Thanks, Grandpa Rick." Lincoln and Lana said simultaneously.

With that, the rest of the family joined in the hug before heading back to the house to get ready for today.

"Wow, a whole dimension filled with sentient dogs. I wonder what kind of life that would be like." Lisa said, her scientific curiosity piqued.

"Who knows, Little Poindexter? I-I-I mean, it could be a good show…not as good as an alcoholic genius grandpa living with his eleven grandkids, son, and bitch of a daughter-in-law, but still, I'd watch it for like eleven minutes a pop." Rick replied, cautiously avoiding eye contact with a mysterious fourth wall.

"That kind of sounds nice, Grandpa Rick." Lincoln said as Rick activated his portal gun for a quick ride back home.

"Yeah. It sure would be nice." Rick said, somewhat knowingly as the family stepped into the portal.

 **AN: And now, time to recap.**

 **Lack of involvement from the Loud sisters: yeah, since they're so many of them, it won't be uncommon for some of them to fall down the wayside, but I'll do my best to prevent that.**

 **Flip replacing Morty's math teacher: yeah, this was mostly because Lincoln's canon teacher is Mrs. Johnson and I don't care much for Flip.**

 **Rick's relationship with Rita: yeah, it's essentially like his canon relationship with Jerry, but not as antagonistic, mostly because she gave birth to his grandkids, so he'll have some moments where he isn't as bad as he was in canon.**

 **Changing Lynn Loud Sr.'s name: yeah, this was mostly because it gets confusing to have two characters with the same name in a story, at least for me. Also, since he's Rick's son in this timeline, there'll be an in-universe explanation later as to why he doesn't have his father's last name.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.**

 **Next time—Chapter 4: Love Hurts**


	4. Love Hurts

**AN: Hello, everyone. First, I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed Rick and the Louds. It has been a worthwhile endeavor and I would like to clarify the future of this story. Also, I would like to apologize for the delay, mostly because of the guests I've had over the holiday break.**

 **I intend to utilize most of** _ **Rick and Morty**_ **, which will include** _ **Meeseeks and Destroy**_ **, but with a few elements changed since I went through one of the darkest moments of that episode in chapter 2 and I do not feel comfortable going there again.**

 **I also intend to use Scary Terry again, but that'll be in a later chapter and the only thing I'm saying about it is that Lucy will meet him. I'm not sure if Lincoln-Rick's family should meet the canon Morty-Rick's family, but I'll come to a decision about that later.**

 **On a minor note: the implications of Charles' threat would have involved tubes tied, but he was also cruel enough to do something to their privates as well.**

 **Lastly, consider this a belated holiday present and a warm welcome to 2017!**

 **Now then, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 4: Love Hurts

 **Royal Woods Elementary School 8:00 AM**

It was an average start to an atypical Monday for Lincoln, which was mostly because he wasn't dealing with the fallout of Rick's adventures or getting dragged on one again when he was supposed to be in school. It had only been a week since Charles left, but Lincoln and the others had done their best to recover from that.

As such, he was surprised when he approached his locker and felt the all-too familiar tug of someone's hands on his pants. Soon enough, he felt them around his ankles, which forced him to cover up and shoot an incriminating glare at the one responsible.

"Really, Ronnie?" Lincoln asked, somewhat incredulously, as several onlookers to start pointing and laughing at his misfortune. Lincoln blushed slightly as he pulled his pants back up.

 **Royal Woods Elementary School (Lincoln's Classroom) 11:30 AM**

Soon enough, the lunch bell had rung, which allowed Lincoln and his classmates to leave. However, he fell when he left his seat, much to his confusion. It wasn't until he noticed his shoelaces tied together that he realized why it had happened.

"Oh, real original!" Lincoln declared, somewhat angrily to Ronnie as the onlookers returned to mock him.

 **Royal Woods Elementary Cafeteria 12:00 PM**

After he'd finally gotten his lunch, Lincoln approached his usual spot and sat down, only to hear a whoopee cushion deflate, much to his slight embarrassment. He then pulled it out and shot a glare at the one responsible.

"Oh, real mature, Ronnie!" Lincoln angrily stated to Ronnie as the onlookers returned to mock him.

 **Royal Woods Elementary School 1:30 PM**

The final bell had rung, which made Lincoln feel relieved that his horrible day was over, However, he had to retrieve his stuff from his locker first. He shifted a few glances prior to opening his locker, only for a mountain of garbage to collapse on top of him when he opened it.

As he dug himself out of the trash, the onlookers returned to mock him, only stopping when they noticed his angered expression upon exiting.

"Okay, that's it!" Lincoln yelled angrily as he approached Ronnie.

 **Franklin Avenue 2:00 PM**

After he'd confronted his bully, Lincoln had walked home with Clyde after the bus had dropped them off.

Clyde was an 11-year-old African-American with freckles and black hair styled into an afro. He wore a set of circular glasses with thick black rims and blue-tinted lenses, black pants and a yellow-and-blue striped shirt with a white collar. He also wore black tennis shoes with three white stripes and laces on each.

"Whoa, you confronted that bully?" Clyde asked, fearful for his best friend's welfare.

"Yep. I said to meet me at 3:30 in front of my house so that we could settle this." Lincoln said confidently, adding an angered scowl at the end of it.

"Wait, you're going to fight?" Clyde asked, even more fearful.

"I'm not an animal, Clyde." Lincoln said, instantly calming down. He then formed a confident smile, which soon turned slightly less confident. "I'm going to do this diplomatically with a speech…as soon as I write it."

"Uh, looks like the bully left you something too." Clyde said as he pointed to the right side of Lincoln's hair.

Lincoln looked at him in confusion until he felt a mysterious piece of paper on his head. He attempted to pull it off, which revealed that it was held in place with used, but sticky gum. Lincoln braved through the pain and got the paper, but most of the gum was still in his hair.

"'Lame-o'." Lincoln read from the paper, which only made him form an unamused scowl.

Clyde briefly sniffed his hair and said, "Ooh, watermelon-lime!"

Rather than be freaked out by Clyde's behavior, Lincoln quickly composed himself and said, "I better not let my sisters or Grandpa Rick see this. Otherwise, they'll want to get involved and make things worse…the way they always do."

"Oh, what's the worst that could happen?" Clyde asked dismissively, only for Lincoln to shoot him an incredulous glare.

"The last time they all go involved with one of my problems, I wound up in the hospital for two weeks." Lincoln said seriously.

"Oh, yeah. How'd that happen again?" Clyde asked.

"They went overboard when I got a papercut. After I endured my sisters' home remedies, Grandpa Rick took me to a dimension to get a cyclops' healing tears, but I got crushed by one of the cyclops' fists before we could get them." Lincoln revealed, cringing from the memories of his physical trauma.

"Ooh, then you're probably right." Clyde said, agreeing with Lincoln. "Still, you've got to get that gum out of your hair. You need to look intimidating for that bully."

"Please, I was born intimidating." Lincoln said confidently, only to form a slightly disgusted expression as he touched the gum trying to remove it.

"You know, peanut butter will probably get that gum out." Clyde suggested.

"Good idea, Clyde. I'll see you tomorrow." Lincoln said as he arrived at his house and allowed Clyde to go to his.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 2:05 PM**

As soon as Lincoln entered the house, he quietly closed the door and carefully stepped around some of Lily's baby toys, which were scattered since Lily had been in the middle of playing when he'd arrived. As such, Lincoln pled quietly to his youngest sister by shushing her, which she returned in kind with a smile.

With the last toy, out of his way, Lincoln sighed to himself in relief, only to notice Lori talking to one of her friends on her cellphone and only a few feet by his side. Lincoln darted by the stairs as Lori obliviously continued to talk.

"Wait, he wore cargo shorts on your third date? That's literally the worst thing I've ever heard." Lori snidely responded to her friend as she continued to trek around the house, and thankfully out of Lincoln's path.

Lincoln sighed in relief as he ran towards the kitchen to the fridge. As soon as he opened the fridge door, he attempted to find the peanut butter, only to hear Luna come inside. Not wanting his sister to notice the gum, he quickly opened the vegetable drawer and stuck his head inside.

"Hey, bro." Luna said, only to form a brief, quizzical expression when she noticed Lincoln's situation.

"Oh, hi Luna. What's going on?" Lincoln asked, trying to seem calm. It had apparently worked as Luna's expression faded into her familiar chill smile.

"Rad way to chill out." Luna inferred.

"Yeah, totally." Lincoln said, allowing her to believe her assumption.

"Hey, any chance you could snag me some pudding?" Luna asked, much to Lincoln's unease. Rather than risk Luna knowing about the gum, Lincoln strained to reach the shelf where the pudding was and handed it to her.

"Here you go, Luna." Lincoln said, relieved that she would leave soon.

"Thanks, bro." Luna said sincerely, oblivious as she left.

With Luna, out of the way, Lincoln smiled in relief as he could now focus on getting the peanut butter. Unfortunately, the gum had stuck to a head of lettuce in the vegetable drawer, which forced Lincoln to remove it. He was grateful that the gum hadn't left any noticeable residue on the lettuce as he spotted the jar.

"Finally, peanut butter!" Lincoln whispered to himself excitedly as he unscrewed the lid, only to find that it had been entirely scooped out. Lincoln grumbled to himself, "Why do people put empty jars back in the fridge?", before he angrily threw the empty jar into the trash.

Lincoln scratched his head, attempting to think of another solution. Serendipitously, Lori unintentionally provided him the answer as she continued to talk to her friend in the other room.

"Socks and sandals, too? Cut it out!" Lori replied, barely able to keep herself from laughing.

Lincoln mentally slapped himself as he snuck back into the living room and retrieved a pair of his mom's scissors from the nightstand by the fireplace. He then sneakily approached the stairs, only to see Luan come down from them. Unable to hide it any other way, Lincoln placed his gum-covered hair onto the wall, which apparently left Luan none the wiser.

"Hey, Lincoln, what do you think of this joke? 'If I were you, I'd go for the baboon'?" Luan asked, much to Lincoln's confusion.

"Uh, I don't get it." Lincoln replied, weirded out that Luan's joke appeared to have even less effort put into it than they normally were.

"Oh, that's just the punchline. I still have to think of the setup." Luan clarified as she obliviously left Lincoln to his own devices.

With Luan, out of the way, Lincoln ran up the stairs, which forced him to endure the whiplash from the gum, moments before he arrived at his room door. After he recovered from the unpleasant pain, he had his hand on the knob, only to hear Rick call for him.

"Lincoln! I need your help with [burp] some science stuff!" Rick requested, apparently drunk enough to start burping in-between his sentences again.

"Okay, just give me five minutes, grandpa!" Lincoln replied, wanting to get rid of the gum as soon as possible.

"Uh, this is kind of [burp] important, Linc!" Rick declared urgently.

"I will, Grandpa Rick! Just give me three minutes!" Lincoln bargained, moments away from entering his room.

"Lincoln, go help your grandfather!" Dante declared angrily, much to Lincoln's ire as he reluctantly abandoned his mission and discretely headed to the backyard, but not before securing the scissors in his back-pocket.

Knowing that Rick would also be a risk factor, Lincoln retrieved one of Lynn's discarded red baseball caps from the laundry basket outside hers and Lucy's room and placed it on his head.

 **Rick's Lab 2:10 PM**

With the hat, Lincoln nonchalantly headed into Rick's lab and found his grandfather studying a complicated-looking map, only averting his eyes to see his grandson.

"Lincoln! I see you're trying a new look." Rick inferred as he noticed Lincoln's borrowed hat.

"Uh, yeah. What's going on, grandpa?" Lincoln asked, trying to get this done soon.

"You see Linc, I think that I've [burp] discovered an alternate dimension with things that'll h-h-help me with my research." Rick revealed as he aimed and fired his portal gun at the front door.

When the portal appeared, rather than it's solid-green middle, static appeared and deposited several dead men in suits and creamed corn before it disappeared.

"What the?!" Lincoln asked, confused and horrified by the sight.

"Oh, yeah. These are d-d-dead weathermen and creamed corn. They're like the static of dimensional travel. They [burp] only appear if the portal gun hasn't properly synched up with the destination." Rick revealed nonchalantly as he opened another portal that sent the weathermen and corn into another dimension.

"Kind of disturbing, but what do you need me for?" Lincoln asked.

"Oh, this time I-I just need you to move some boxes over there." Rick said dismissively as he motioned his hand towards his invention bookshelf while he studied the map. Strangely, the shelf had a new, metallic device in front of it.

The device itself was only slightly taller than Rick with a few spikes on top. It was dark blue and had yellow rings along its side.

Lincoln sighed to himself in resignation as he moved the boxes, but it was better than going on an adventure so soon prior to his confrontation with his bully. However, he was unaware that his hand had touched the device in the process, which instantly caused it to glow yellow and hum.

Rick had heard the humming sound and stopped his studying as his eyes widened at the sight of his glowing device.

"Holy crap, Lincoln! Run away!" Rick warned as the light glowed brighter. Lincoln gasped in fear as Rick shielded him and the light faded.

While Lincoln was relieved that nothing had apparently happened, his fears resurfaced when he heard a growling sound. Rick removed himself from Lincoln and pulled out his metal-gray laser cannon, motioning for Lincoln to stay behind him. Lincoln's eyes widened when he noticed that there was an actual dinosaur in front of them.

It appeared to be a velociraptor, only it was pure white in color, much to Lincoln's confusion. During one of his adventures with Rick, Lincoln had visited the Cretaceous period and never saw a velociraptor with that peculiar skin color.

"Grandpa Rick, what's going on?" Lincoln asked fearfully.

"Uh, you created a dinosaur, Lincoln." Rick said placatingly, attempting to keep Lincoln calm.

Suddenly, the velociraptor attacked the duo, which forced Rick to repeatedly blast the dinosaur to kill it. Unfortunately, the dinosaur had evaded every one of Rick's shots and clamped down on his laser cannon, only to break a few of its teeth in the process.

"Dodge this, you Cretaceous bastard!" Rick declared as he attempted to kill the dinosaur at point-blank range. Unfortunately, the velociraptor's teeth had damaged the barrel of the laser cannon, which now glowed red as it started to overload.

"Lincoln, we've got to bail!" Rick declared fearfully as he embraced his grandson and ran out the door, but not before he punched the dinosaur in the head with his brass knuckles, which knocked it out instantly. When Rick and Lincoln made it outside, Rick slid off his left coat sleeve and pressed a few buttons on his wristwatch that coated the entire lab in a metal-gray exterior.

Given Rick's penchant for explosions, he'd gone to the liberty of enforcing the house against several threats, although he'd bothered to do the same for the interior of his lab as well. Within a few moments, a muffled explosion came out from Rick's lab, which allowed him to lower the blast shields and to let Lincoln down.

Upon reentering, Rick found the fragments of his laser cannon on top of the dinosaur's ashes. Thankfully, the interior blast shields protected Rick's inventions and research, much to his relief.

"Well, that was a close one, Linc…" Rick trailed off as he looked at Lincoln, much to Lincoln's confusion. It wasn't until he noticed that in Rick's rush to save him, his borrowed hat had fallen off, which left his gummed hair exposed to Rick.

"Uh, grandpa…"

"Lincoln, what happened?" Rick asked in concern, cutting him off.

Lincoln sighed deeply; he knew that Rick was smart enough to deconstruct any lie he said, so he reluctantly told the truth.

"I'm…I'm getting picked on, grandpa." Lincoln said reluctantly as he looked down to avoid his grandfather's eyes.

Suddenly, Rick embraced Lincoln, which allowed the boy to look up and see a concerned look on his grandfather's face. "It'll be okay, Lincoln." Rick said sincerely as Lincoln returned his embrace.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 2: 15 PM**

After Rick, had cut out the gum in Lincoln's hair, the duo went into the kitchen where Rick got a beer and Lincoln got an orange soda. They both drank their respective beverages as they sat down in the dining room.

"So, you've got a bully problem, huh?" Rick said, trying to make it seem lighter than it was.

"Yeah. I was planning on confrontation with a diplomatic speech. I just didn't want you or any of my sisters to know because I didn't want you guys to get involved." Lincoln revealed, somewhat sadly.

"Lincoln, we're your family. We're supposed to [burp] be able to have full disclosure when it comes to these problems." Rick said reassuringly as he sipped his beer.

"I know that it was stupid and immature, but I didn't want a repeat of what happened the last time you guys got involved." Lincoln replied as he did the same with his soda.

Rick sighed deeply when he remembered what happened. "Yeah, things got kind of crazy. You would've been in that cast for a longer time if I hadn't gotten those tears on my own."

"Again, thanks for that, Grandpa Rick." Lincoln said sincerely.

"I'd do it again and even a third time!" Rick randomly shouted and then formed a deadpan expression. "But that'd probably be it. I got my ass kicked two weeks in a row to get those tears."

"Yeah, by the end of it, you needed them more than me." Lincoln said, stifling a laugh, which Rick returned in kind.

"Yeah, good times." Rick said warmly and then formed a serious expression. "So, w-w-what's her name?"

"How do you know it's a girl?!" Lincoln asked incredulously.

"Other than your reaction, you've been avoiding pronouns on the subject." Rick deduced and then asked, "So, what's her name?"

Lincoln sighed deeply. "It's Ronnie Anne. She's in my class and always picks on me for some reason." Lincoln revealed and then asked, "So, what should I do?"

"Well, people that follow stupid double standards would say that she hurts you because she likes you and you should kiss her, but I've got a better idea." Rick suggested as the duo took their last swigs of their beverages.

With that, the duo threw their cans into the recycling bin and headed towards the living room.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 2:23 PM**

Soon enough, Rick had assembled most of the Loud sisters, except for the slumbering Lily, in the living room. Since Rick was the adult in this situation, he'd decided not inform their parents, given Lincoln's concern of their involvement.

"Okay, so…you're probably all wondering why we're all here." Rick said, somewhat nervously.

"Uh, yeah. I was in the middle of practicing my pageant wave." Lola remarked.

"Don't worry, Pink Sunshine. You'll be doing that soon." Rick reassured.

"What's going on here, grandpa?" Lucy asked.

"Well, Sugar Bat, I'm going to need everyone to promise me you won't freak out." Rick requested, which caused most of the Loud sisters to form quizzical looks on their faces.

"Did you do something bad, gramps?" Luna asked.

"No, Pixie Cut." Rick replied with an unamused expression on his face, which quickly returned to its normal demeanor. "J-Just everyone promise me, right now."

With that, the Loud sisters said murmurs of agreement, which allowed Rick to fully compose himself. He turned to Lincoln, who gave him an affirmative nod, which he returned.

"Lincoln's got a bully problem." Rick said, which instantly caused all the girls to form concerned expressions.

"Wait, what?!" they all yelled incredulously.

"Hey, remember your promise!" Rick said sternly, knowing that they were on the verge of freaking out. Suddenly, they all calmed down enough to placate Rick, but they still retained their concerned expressions.

"Lincoln, where is this guy?" Lynn asked as she cracked her knuckles.

"Lynn, that's the thing…it's not a guy." Lincoln said, somewhat nervously.

"Is it one of those dogs in super suits?" Leni inferred.

"It's a girl." Rick and Lincoln said simultaneously, much to the shock of the remaining Loud sisters.

Suddenly, they all erupted in a cacophony of girlish glee and embraced Lincoln, much to his surprise, with the odd exception of Lisa.

"Normally, I wouldn't engage in this sort of activity but…" Lisa trailed off before she let out a tiny squeal and joined her remaining siblings.

"Okay, I'm letting that slide for now, but what's the BFD?" Rick asked.

"Well, duh! Lincoln, why didn't you tell us you had a girlfriend?" Luna inferred.

"She sounds so pretty." Lola remarked dreamily.

"Uh, what's going on here?" Rick asked, somewhat incredulously.

"Grandpa Rick, when a girl picks on a boy it only ever means one thing; she likes him!" Lori revealed as they ended their embrace with Lincoln to yell in excitement again.

"Yeah, that's probably not the case." Rick bluntly said when their cheering stopped. "What you're describing is a complete double standard."

"Oh, please. How does that qualify?" Lisa asked.

"Because you wanted to get payback on the bully when you thought that it was a boy, and now you're cool with it just because it's a girl?" Rick said incredulously.

"Well, that's how love works at around Lincoln's age." Lori stated.

"No, it's not. Y-Y-You think you know what's going on through this girl's head? That she secretly loves Lincoln and has some shrine to him and wr-wr-writes poetry about him? And that she can only express herself though violence to make sure no one else knows a-about her feelings?" Rick harshly inferred, which made the girls form sheepish expressions.

"Well, maybe not…" Lori trailed off, only for Rick to continue his tirade.

"And oh, I suppose you think that Lincoln's supposed to kiss her or something to prove it?" Rick asked sarcastically, before he formed an angered expression. "Yeah, like it or not, that's not how it's supposed to work! If she ever did any of the stuff I described before, she's a total stalker! Even worse, if it was reversed, Lincoln would be creepy instead of in love, because it's so freaking easy to have men as the bad people in relationships! Men are always the ones who have to be the abusers, the cheaters, and the stalkers because no one cares if a woman does the same thing!" Rick yelled, which instantly made the girls fall into a stunned silence.

"Grandpa Rick, we…"

"I understand where this is coming from, Honey Bunny." Rick said as he managed to calm down and looked her straight in her eyes. "It still doesn't make it right."

"So, what should we do?" Lori asked.

"Well, Lincoln had a good idea to talk to the b-b-bully, but we called this meeting to make sure you w-w-would all be on board with it." Rick explained.

"Yeah, that seems fair." Lisa said in agreement, which was followed by the remaining Loud sisters agreeing as well.

"Good, because I've got a bit of an insurance plan." Rick stated as he motioned towards the fireplace and turned some of the pictures on the mantel a certain way until the fireplace descended into a metal latch and was replaced by a large, tall silver case.

The remaining Loud siblings stared at the case in awe until Lincoln broke the silence.

"Grandpa Rick, what's this?" Lincoln asked.

"This is something I made in case something like this ever happened." Rick cryptically explained as he opened the doors on the case, which revealed five, metal gray paintball guns.

"Ooh, what are these for, grandpa?" Lola asked excitedly as she approached the case, only for Rick to prevent her.

"These are special modified paintball guns I made with some help from a friend in DARPA." Rick revealed as he slid Lola back to the rest of her siblings.

"What kind of modifications, grandpa?" Lisa asked, barely able to contain her excitement.

"Basically, the paintballs they shoot c-c-cause nausea and diarrhea upon contact." Rick bluntly explained as he held out one of the blue paintballs, much to the disbelief of the remaining Loud siblings.

While they continued their murmurs of disbelief, Rita walked in with a crossword puzzle that she was apparently doing.

"Kids, do any of you know a six-letter word for…?" Rita asked before Rick callously took one of the guns, loaded the paintball, and shot her in the shoulder. Suddenly, Rita began to vomit uncontrollably onto the carpet as her bowels noisily emptied. The instant nausea and diarrhea caused Rita to stumble as she reached the downstairs bathroom, experiencing the effects of the paintball the entire time.

The Loud kids were speechless by Rick's demonstration, mostly because he'd attacked their mother. However, Rick pulled out a set of Rita's clothes from a secret panel in front of the downstairs bathroom and some medicine for her. He knocked on the door and handed the supplies to a grateful Rita before he returned to his grandchildren.

"What? I'm n-n-not a _**total**_ monster." Rick nonchalantly stated as he gave a paintball gun to Lori, Luna, Luan, and Lynn before he took the last one for himself.

"Wait, is this going where I think it's going?" Lynn asked, somewhat concerned.

"Maybe, but why would the King of Siam order fried chicken?" Leni wrongly inferred, which made the remaining Loud siblings and Rick facepalm.

"No, they're obviously going to keep a lookout for Lincoln to make sure his bully doesn't hurt him." Lisa inferred, which earned a respectful nod from Rick, which quickly turned into an awkward smile.

"Yeah, but we can't risk any of you guys knowing about this so…" Rick said as he pulled out a yellow handgun with several blue buttons on its left side. He then shot the gun at Lincoln, Leni, Lucy, Lola, Lana, and Lisa, which emitted a purple beam that knocked all of them out.

"Grandpa Rick, what did you just do?!" Luna asked, horrified.

"Relax, Pixie Cut. This is my Amnesia Ray." Rick explained as he cradled the unconscious Lucy, Lola, and Lana and set them on the couch. He continued to explain as he returned to safely put them in the Living Room. "I wiped out their memories of what just happened so that they don't try to stop us or use these guns. Now, we're free to stake out this girl and make sure she doesn't hurt Lincoln." He stopped at Leni and sighed deeply. "Ugh, I hate it when I do this to Leni."

"Uh, how come?" Luan asked nervously.

"It's a long story." Rick said quickly before he cleared his throat and nonchalantly changed the subject when he grabbed Lincoln. "The others will be out for about an hour, maybe two. Lincoln will wake up instantly when I use the Amnesia Ray on him again. Meanwhile, the rest of you need to get to your positions."

"Wait a minute. How do we know you won't use that thing on us when it's all over?" Lynn asked suspiciously.

Unexpectedly, Rick knelt to her eye level and looked at her sincerely. "Because I trust you guys, Lynn." Lynn stared at her grandfather in reverence before he embraced her, a display that made the remaining Loud sisters smile. Lynn failed to hold back a smile as she returned the embrace.

 **Franklin Avenue 3:30 PM**

After he finished writing Lincoln's speech, Rick activated the Amnesia Ray and fired it at Lincoln, which instantly caused him to wake up. Although, he was somewhat disoriented as he stumbled a bit before reaching the front of the house, exactly where he'd told Ronnie Anne to meet him. Lincoln shook his head and looked around, only to see Ronnie Anne around the corner.

Ronnie Anne was a Hispanic-American 11-year-old girl with tanned skin, black hair tied into a ponytail, freckles on her cheeks, and two buck teeth that stuck out of her mouth. She wore a purple hooded sweatshirt, blue jean shorts, and purple shoes with long pink socks.

Lincoln's heart sank as he couldn't remember if he'd written his speech for her. He then looked in his back pocket and found the note Rick left for him. Lincoln smiled hopefully as he opened the letter, only for it to simply say, 'Just be yourself, Linc. Love, Grandpa Rick'. While Lincoln was touched by this, he was still a bit nervous when Ronnie Anne approached him with a bored expression on her face.

"Hi, Lame-O. What did you want to say?" Ronnie Anne asked.

Deciding to take Grandpa Rick's advice, Lincoln took in a deep breath and exhaled to prepare himself. He then looked at Ronnie Anne and said, "Listen Ronnie, I don't know what your problem is with me. You constantly pull my pants down, you tie my shoes together, and you do whatever you can to annoy me. My only question is: why?"

Rather than answer him, Ronnie Anne merely took out her cellphone and started to text someone. While Lincoln was clearly offended with her actions, he noticed that her purple phone cover had a depiction of Ace Savvy.

"Wait, is that an Ace Savvy phone cover?" Lincoln asked, somewhat excitedly.

"Yep. I stood in line for four hours to get this bad boy." Ronnie Anne replied, somewhat disinterested.

"Ronnie, I love Ace Savvy! A month ago, I tried to buy one of these, but they were sold out!" Lincoln said excitedly, much to Ronnie Anne's surprise.

"Wait, you love Ace Savvy too?" Ronnie Anne asked as she smiled brightly.

"You know it! Quiz me on anything!" Lincoln yelled happily.

"What is Ace Savvy's civilian identity and occupation?" Ronnie Anne asked excitedly.

"Melvin Saunders, and janitor for the Savvy Star Newspaper!" Lincoln answered quickly, which made Ronnie Anne nod in agreement.

"Who was Ace Savvy's first girlfriend and when?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"Juniper Carson, and in high school!" Lincoln answered.

"How did Ace Savvy first defeat the Card Countess?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"Trick question! Ace didn't defeat her the first time; One-Eyed Jack defeated her with Ace's Freeze Ray that he won in Issue #32, _Snow Angels_!" Lincoln answered, which made Ronnie's jaw drop in amazement.

"Whoa. I've never met another Savvy fan that knew that." Ronnie Anne said, visibly blushing. She tried to cover it up by returning to her tough persona, but Lincoln had noticed, which made him blush somewhat in return.

"You know, when my sisters found out that you were a girl, they thought that you were picking on me because you liked me." Lincoln revealed as his blush disappeared, which caused Ronnie Anne's blush to return.

"So, what do they know? It's y-you know…it's not like I think that you are kind of cute or anything!" Ronnie Anne badly denied as she started to play with her hair.

Lincoln stared at her in reverence before he confidently said, "That's too bad, because I think you are kind of cute."

If it wasn't obvious enough, Ronnie Anne instantly bled from her nose in excitement which she was barely able to keep from overflowing with some tissues from her left jacket pocket. Rather than risk Lincoln seeing her, Ronnie Anne turned away from him.

"Well, that's nice to know." Ronnie Anne replied, trying to seem cool after those revelations.

"I'm just glad that we found something we have in common. You're actually not so bad, Ronnie." Lincoln said sincerely as he put his left hand on her shoulder, which only made her laugh happily.

"Just try not to make this physical contact a habit, Lame…Lincoln." Ronnie Anne said as she quickly returned the hug and wrote something down on a sticky note that she slapped onto his back.

Before Lincoln could question it, Ronnie Anne left. While he seemed to think that it was only an act, when he removed the note, he couldn't have been more wrong.

"'Here's my number, L. You better text me. 555-0121'". Lincoln read aloud, which made him form a pleasant smile on his face as he headed back to his house.

Meanwhile, Rick and the remaining Loud sisters had watched his conversation from their respective hiding places and smiled brightly at Lincoln for resolving this in the best way possible.

" _Well, well, well, grandpa. It looks like we were right."_ Lori said smugly through their communicators.

" _Yeah, yeah. W-W-We got lucky this time. Let's just be glad we didn't fire any of these."_ Rick conceded.

" _It's a good thing that Lincoln finally found a girl who likes Ace Savvy."_ Luna said happily.

" _Yeah. I'm just glad it wasn't the_ _ **Pun**_ _isher!"_ Luan joked, which only caused the remaining Loud sisters and Rick to groan in exasperation.

" _Let's get back inside, guys."_ Lynn said as they turned off their communicators and headed back to the house.

 **AN: And now time to recap.**

 **Changing** _ **Heavy Meddle**_ **: yeah, this was mostly because of the classic double standard that was shown in the canon episode and one of the few things that I don't like in** _ **The Loud House**_ **. Also, I feel that having a mostly lighthearted chapter will be nice considering that at least the next two will involve more of** _ **Rick and Morty's**_ **dark elements.**

 **Ronnie Anne's introduction and bonding with Lincoln: yeah, this was mostly because Lincoln will have moments where he doesn't have it as bad as he does in canon and he won't be as selfish. Also, I thought that it would be a nice moment between the two until her reappearance.**

 **The dinosaur machine: yeah, that was based off a deleted scene from the pilot of** _ **Rick and Morty**_ **and I'm not entirely sure if I should even include it again.**

 **The paintball guns: yeah, that was an original invention, but their ammo power and the mention of the DARPA employee is a shout out to one of the few elements I don't completely hate from** _ **Kick-Ass 2**_ **.**

 **Rick's brief mention of Leni's exposure to the Amnesia Ray: yeah, this is something that I would want to expand upon, but one that I don't immediately foresee.**

 **Lastly, I would like to apologize for the length of this chapter which is mostly due to the lack of** _ **Rick and Morty**_ **elements. Honestly, I couldn't really think of anything that could've worked well with** _ **Heavy Meddle**_ **, but I did it anyway to properly introduce Clyde and Ronnie Anne.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.**

 **Next time—Chapter 5: Meeseeks and Destroy**


	5. Meeseeks and Destroy

**AN: Hello, everyone. I would like to thank you all again for your support in this story and to answer a few questions regarding the last chapter.**

 **So, the season 1 finale of** _ **Rick and Morty**_ **will have elements from** _ **No Guts, No Glori**_ **, but the latter will likely have less to do with the plot since Rick's party did most of the damage in the season 1 finale and adding that to the chaos of the Loud sisters would be overkill.**

 **The decision to knock out the younger girls, and Leni, was explained by Rick mentioning that he didn't trust them, but he did trust the rest since they had enough self-control to utilize the paintball guns without hitting themselves or anyone else. Also, I feel that it would've been too jumbled to have most of Lincoln's sisters with a paintball gun.**

 **To be honest, I have no idea if Chandler will be making the cut in this story. Although, if he does, he will have some punishment for what he did in the canon episode and it would involve the paintball gun.**

 **Now then, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 5: Meeseeks and Destroy

 **McBride House 8:00 PM**

It had been a rare Friday night for Lincoln as he finished watching the ' _ARRGH!_ ' season four premiere with Clyde at the latter's home. Lincoln watched in amazement as the credits rolled and stood up with a smile on his face.

"That was awesome! I'm definitely not going to sleep tonight!" Lincoln yelled happily.

"Or go to the bathroom." Clyde added, referring to the events of the episode.

Suddenly, the grandfather clock in the McBride house rung, which made both boys aware of the time.

"Oh, no! Unless I'm with Grandpa Rick, I've missed curfew!" Lincoln fearfully lamented.

"Wait, what if they blame me for this?! I'll be banned from your house!" Clyde said similarly as he approached one of the windows and formed a solemn expression. "I never got to say goodbye to Lori. I need you to tell her…"

Suddenly, Lincoln had bolted from Clyde's house and hastily ran towards his own, much to the latter's disappointment.

"Ugh, you could've waited a few seconds." Clyde said softly to himself.

 **Franklin Avenue 8:01 PM**

Shortly after he ran from Clyde's house, Lincoln called Lori on his cellphone. While he was tempted to call Rick, Lincoln inferred that he was on some adventure or passed out drunk somewhere.

" _Lori, I've lost track of time!"_ Lincoln said fearfully.

" _Don't worry. We've got your back, little bro."_ Lori replied confidently as she ended the phone call.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 8:01 PM**

"Okay, _Operation: Cover for Brother_ is in action!" Lori said to the rest of her siblings that were gathered in the living room.

"Let's do this!" Lynn declared as the sisters scattered to ensure Lincoln's arrival without their parents' knowledge.

As Lori and Leni set out a trampoline outside and Lisa, Luan, and Lynn set up pillows in Lincoln's room, Lola and Lana discretely stuck their heads into the kitchen where their parents were washing the dishes.

"I told Lincoln that I'd help with his math homework tonight." Rita said to her husband.

"My dad could do that too, you know." Dante replied with a hint of pride.

"Yeah, but he's off…somewhere." Rita explained, unaware of Rick's whereabouts.

"Did I ever tell you the story on how I got to be so good at math in school?" Dante said challengingly.

"We are _**not**_ hooking Lincoln's brain to a Kylaxian brain beast." Rita said, somewhat tersely, and then pointed out, "You can't even do math anymore without getting a headache."

"True, but I was the best in school!" Dante replied, strangely indifferent to the event.

Knowing that the conversation would end soon, Lola and Lana gave each other a thumbs-up as they staged a fake fight.

"That's mine! You don't even like yarn!" Lola yelled convincingly.

"So?! It's better in my hands than yours!" Lana yelled back.

"Girls, what are you…?!" Dante yelled, only for himself and Rita to somehow wind up in the middle of the fight.

Still, despite their best efforts, Lola and Lana were quickly dispatched by their parents restraining the twins long enough to leave the kitchen.

"Now, that's enough. Your father will provide some emotional support while I help Lincoln with his math homework." Rita said as she and Dante left the twins to their own devices, which made the latter's hearts sink.

"Okay, mom and dad! I guess you're going upstairs to help Lincoln with his homework, then!" Lana loudly declared, hoping that one of the other sisters had heard her.

Fortunately, Luna had been in earshot of her and intercepted her parents as they approached the stairs.

"Hey, you know what I'm hankering for?" Luna asked as she took out her old acoustic guitar, and then said, "A family sing-along!"

As Luna played her guitar, Lincoln had managed to arrive at the house and adorned his blue bike helmet. Thankfully, Lincoln could hear Lisa from his bedroom.

"Approach at a 63° angle." Lisa whispered loudly, hoping that Lincoln could hear her.

Lincoln gave a serious nod as he jumped onto the trampoline, only to crash mere centimeters away from his window, which sent the young boy crashing into the bushes. Lisa and the others winced in sympathy as they saw their injured, but still alive, brother.

"Uh, correction. 62°." Lisa replied sheepishly as the semi-injured Lincoln gave a thumbs-up.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor 8:04 PM**

After they politely walked past Luna, Lori and Leni had managed to stop them the moment they arrived.

"Hey, mom and dad. We were just wondering how you two met." Leni sheepishly requested with a fake smile.

"Really? You father and I have told that story a thousand times." Rita pointed out.

"Now, now, there's no reason not to give them a refresher course, honey." Dante said placatingly as he began to tell them once again.

As Lincoln managed to successfully jump into his room, the remaining Loud sisters, sans Lily and the arrival team in Lincoln's room, were subjugated to another retelling of their parent's first meeting, much to their chagrin.

"So, on my first day of college, your mother walked by in an outfit that could stop traffic." Dante said fondly.

"Honey, that was because I was a crossing guard." Rita clarified.

"You never stopped being one in my dreams or in the bedroom, Rita." Dante said slyly to her as he kissed her, much to the disgust of their remaining children.

Unfortunately, Lincoln's arrival caused a noticeable sound that alerted Rita and Dante to his room. The remaining girls' hearts sunk as they watched their parents approach Lincoln's door, only for Lily to emerge from hers and Lisa's room.

Despite her lack of intelligence, Lily knew enough that there was only one thing that she could do to save Lincoln. With that, she spat out her favorite pacifier and started to cry, which made Rita and Dante go to comfort her.

While they were attending to her, Lisa, Luan, and Lynn emerged from Lincoln's room with the crash supplies in-hand. Lincoln barely had enough time to remove his helmet and take out his already-finished math homework from the afternoon and placed it on his desk.

"'And thus, the trains will pass each other at precisely 4:00 PM'." Lincoln read from his homework as his parents arrived.

"Well, it looks like you didn't need us after all." Rita said proudly as she closed the door, unaware of Lincoln's nightly escapade.

Lincoln sighed to himself in relief that he had escaped their potential wrath, only for Rick to roll out from underneath his bed, clad in his underwear.

"Whoa, that was close one." Rick said to himself, only to notice that Lincoln was in the room, which made the elderly scientist clear his throat in awkwardness.

"Grandpa Rick, what are you doing here?" Lincoln asked, somewhat angered.

Before Rick could answer, several humanoid women with blue skin, red hair, generous curves, and glowing yellow eyes emerged from underneath Lincoln's bed. Thankfully, they were all clad in red bikinis, but they left little to the imagination.

"Uh…I'm celebrating an alien holiday?" Rick badly defended, only to sigh in reverence when Lincoln looked at him in disappointment. He then turned to the girls. "Sorry, girls. The night's over."

With that, the girls sighed deeply before they went thorough Lincoln's window, much to the boy's fear. Fortunately, they were alleviated when the girls grew wings and flew off somewhere in the night.

Lincoln stared at Rick in disappointment, which made the old man say, "I know what you're going to say…I should've put a s-s-sock on the doorknob."

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 8:00 AM**

After their daily battle to utilize the limited facilities, the Loud kids, sans Lily, arrived in the kitchen when their mother requested them. Although, their hearts sank once they saw the several cleaning supplies sprawled on the kitchen floor.

"It's our monthly cleaning day, everyone! Who's excited?!" Rita said jubilantly, only for the Loud kids to simply grumble about their now-ruined plans for the day as they begrudgingly took the supplies to start cleaning.

"That's the spirit!" Rita said innocently.

Meanwhile, an underwear-clad Rick had arrived with several lipstick marks all over his body and ran into the kids before they could start cleaning.

"Hey, good morning my grandkids!" Rick said jubilantly.

"Not now, grandpa. We've got work to do." Lisa lamented solemnly as they restarted their melancholy trek upstairs, only for Rick to stop them again.

"Whoa, okay this is not cool. What's up the long faces?" Rick asked in concern.

"It's our monthly cleaning day, grandpa. We've got to drop everything we had for the day to do it." Luna replied, which made Rick smile in anticipation.

"Uh, why are you smiling, grandpa?" Lori asked.

"If you say it's because of Luan's jokes, we'll know you're lying." Lynn said, which made the rest of the Loud sibling burst into a small fit of laughter, including Luan.

"No, it's because I g-g-got something that should be able to help you guys. Follow me into my lab. Oh, and l-l-leave the cleaning supplies." Rick clarified as his grandchildren complied.

 **Rick's Lab 8:05 AM**

Soon enough, the Loud siblings and Rick arrived at the lab where Rick took out a large cube from a cardboard box on his shelf. The cube was metal gray with green octagonal designs on the sides and a blue button on top.

"Okay, this is a Meeseeks Box, kids." Rick explained as he started the demonstration. "First, you push this blue button here…"

Suddenly, a puff of powder blue smoke appeared and dissipated to reveal a tall, powder-blue humanoid figure with elongated, narrow limbs. He had a large, bulbous head, beady black eyes, and a giant mouth that stretched all the way across his face. Strangely, he had a tuft of Rick's gray-blue hair on top of his head.

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!" the Mr. Meeseeks said happily, much to the amazement of the Loud siblings.

"Then you make some kind of request. Mr. Meeseeks, punch yourself in the face." Rick said to his Meeseeks, which did nothing but make him smile.

"Ooh! Can do!" Rick's Meeseeks said happily as he punched himself in the face, which knocked out a few of his teeth. Still he had a smile on his face and said, "All done!"

"And then it ceases to exist." Rick said as his Meeseeks instantly exploded into a harmless puff of powder blue smoke.

"Oh, my god! Is he dead?!" Leni asked fearfully.

"Yes, but they're fine with it." Rick replied and then stated, "Besides, by h-h-having a Meeseeks do your chores, you'll be free for the day. The only thing is to keep the request simple. They're not g-g-gods."

"This is totally awesome, grandpa!" Luna said excitedly.

"Oh, just be sure not to tell your mom about these. I really don't have the time for her to rant about how 'unethical' it is to use a Meeseeks to do chores instead of doing it yourself." Rick said as he handed Lori the box and then stated, "I'll be working on a few things in here. If anyone wants to join me after you're done, feel free."

With that, Rick closed the door on his grandkids and left them to their own devices. They all smiled as they excitedly ran back to the house.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 8:07 AM**

After they had received the Meeseeks Box, the kids ran into the kitchen and stared at it in reverence. Thankfully, their parents were busy with chores outside of the kitchen area, so they would be in the clear.

"So many possibilities." Lisa said, almost breathlessly.

"It's kind of cool how they're born to die." Lucy said darkly.

"I'm still not sure how ethical this is." Lana said uneasily. "I mean, aren't we kind of the reason that they die?"

"Yeah, but think of it as fulfilling their purpose, Lana." Lynn said comfortingly.

"Besides, do you want to wallow in the first mud of the day in the park or not?" Lola asked, which made Lana nod in acceptance.

"So, how should we do this? We can't all have a Meeseeks; it'll attract too much attention." Lincoln pointed out.

"I think that about three should do it." Lisa estimated. "It'll have the least amount of potential discovery, but they should be able to handle the tasks."

"So, who gets one?" Luan asked.

"Since we need about three, it should be one of each hair color." Lisa stated, referring to how Rick's Meeseeks had a tuft of his unique hair.

"So, I guess Lincoln can go first." Lori conceded as Lincoln pressed the button. Sure enough, a Mr. Meeseeks appeared, only with a tuft of Lincoln's white hair.

"Hi, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!" Lincoln's Meeseeks declared.

"Mr. Meeseeks, I would like you to help with our chores for the day." Lincoln requested.

"Sir, yes sir!" Lincoln's Meeseeks stated happily as he went to work.

Lincoln then looked around the room and saw his sisters staring at him in expectation, much to Lincoln's confusion, until he remembered who the other two Meeseeks should come from.

"Oh, boy. I guess like Rock-Paper-Scissors between the two groups until there's a winner?" Lincoln sheepishly suggested, which only let the remaining Loud sisters share murmurs of agreement.

Soon enough, two victors had been declared; Lori for the blondes and Lynn for the brunettes.

"Oh, yeah! I'm getting a Meeseeks!" Lynn declared jubilantly.

"I literally knew that I was going to win." Lori said, somewhat smugly as she pressed the button first. With that, a Meeseeks appeared with a tuft of Lori's blonde hair.

"Look at me! I'm Mr. Meeseeks!" Lori's Meeseeks declared happily.

"Mr. Meeseeks, go help my brother's Meeseeks with our chores." Lori requested.

"Ooh, yeah! Ma'am, yes ma'am!" Lori's Meeseeks stated cheerfully as he went to join Lincoln's Meeseeks.

Soon enough, Lynn had pressed the button on the box and a Meeseeks with a tuft of her brown hair appeared.

"Hi, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! How'd you do?" Lynn's Meeseeks sincerely asked.

"I'm good. Mr. Meeseeks, go help Lori and Lincoln's Meeseeks with our chores." Lynn requested.

"Of course, little lady!" Lynn's Meeseeks said as he gave her a loving hair tousle before joining the other Meeseeks.

"Huh, yours was kind of nicer than the others when they were created." Lisa pointed out.

"Yeah. You don't think that the Meeseeks absorb more than our hair color, do you?" Lynn asked.

"Maybe. It's probably nothing to worry about." Lincoln said indifferently.

With that, the Loud sisters discretely left the house to do their activities for the day, with Lori specifically getting Lily for her date with Bobby. Still, Lincoln had no real plan for the day, so he decided to keep an unofficial watch over the Meeseeks while the others were away.

 **Royal Woods Batting Cages 8:24 AM**

With her Meeseeks assisting the other two, Lynn was free to try out the new pitching machine at the Royal Woods Batting Cages, which Lori had provided a ride to for her without a favor. While she could've easily waited until a better time, the sporty girl had always been a bit superstitious when it came to her athletic activities.

It wasn't exactly uncommon, but Lynn had been told that her personal ways of preventing bad luck in games were a bit extreme. In fact, one of them included not going to poop out of fear of not winning a game, although she had the decency to keep that one in the family. Still, Lana often had to fix whatever toilet she used after the game ended, regardless of who won.

As such, Lynn had been servicing one of her other superstitions that thankfully involved less intestinal pain. She knew that she had to hit the first ball from the pitching machine out of fear of bad luck during her upcoming baseball season. Soon enough, Lynn had expertly hit the first ball, which made her smile happily that her superstition had been fulfilled.

"Oh, yeah! The crowd goes wild for number five, Lynn Loud!" Lynn said to herself as she imitated the crowd cheering. Although, when her self-praise ended, she came to a rather obvious conclusion; she had nothing to do for the rest of the day.

Given Lynn's penchant for sports, she was a member of four of the girl sports teams. While this would be considered overkill, the team schedule worked in her favor as they didn't overlap. Still, she didn't have anything for the day; her soccer team was on a bye week, much to her chagrin.

"Oh, wow. This is definitely not my day." Lynn said to herself as she contemplated what to do for the rest of the day. It wasn't until she remembered that her Grandpa Rick had left an open invitation to help in his lab that she smiled.

While she didn't have as much experience with the dangerous missions like Lincoln or Lori, she was always excited to go on an adventure with Rick. As such, she returned the baseball helmet and the bat before she headed off on the semi-difficult trek back home.

 **Rick's Lab 9:28 AM**

After a few near-misses with traffic, Lynn had arrived in Rick's lab with only a few pit-stains and minor breathing problems. While he would've helped or at least asked some questions, Rick had been busy communicating through a small, orange crystal.

" _Okay, I need you to give me your coordinates so that I can help!"_ Rick yelled through the crystal.

" _It's 600.978° N, 521.354°W! We need those weapons, Rick! We're all going to…!"_ the voice hysterically yelled over the crystal before the color instantly faded and the other voice went silent.

Rick stared at his now-inert Fire Crystal reverently before he angrily chucked it out the window, which shattered the glass. He then began to pull out several weapons from his workbench, only taking several hand-held laser cannons and his Freeze Ray before he grabbed the portal gun. It wasn't until he was about to fire that he noticed Lynn looking at him with a concerned expression.

"Grandpa Rick, what's going on?" Lynn asked as Rick sighed in resignation. While he would have preferred not to put any of his grandchildren in danger for this mission, he could only blame himself for giving them all a free pass today.

"Well, Sweet Honeybee, I need to go to another planet and help out some old friends in the middle of a war." Rick said as he knelt to Lynn's eyelevel. "You don't have to come with me."

"Wait, I could help!" Lynn requested. "This sounds pretty dangerous, Grandpa Rick."

"It will be, but this is on a whole different level, Lynn." Rick said sincerely as he stood up to fire the portal gun again.

"How is this any different than your missions with Lincoln?!" Lynn defiantly asked as Rick created a portal in the front door of his lab.

Rick then slowly turned towards his granddaughter, and sincerely said, "These are the kind of missions I did even before I had your dad, Lynn. It'll be safer if you don't come. Promise me."

Lynn stared solemnly at her grandfather before she responded with, "Scout's honor."

With that, Rick gave her a serious nod and leapt into the portal, unaware of what Lynn would say next.

"Humph. Like I ever was a scout." Lynn said dismissively to herself as she jumped into the portal mere moments before it closed.

 **Ignis 10:28 AM**

After she arrived, Lynn was amazed with the landscape of this world. The ground was warm to the touch, but the nearby lake appeared to be filled with fire. She stared at the horizon and noticed that their sun was dark purple in color, which bathed the entire planet in an eerie, purple glow. As such, she could barely see as she was suddenly embraced by someone and taken away.

"Hey, let go of me!" Lynn yelled defiantly to her apparent abductor. "If you don't, I swear that I'm going to…!"

Suddenly, the abductor took out a flashlight, and revealed themselves to be none other than Rick, who stared at his granddaughter in concern.

"Lynn, I told you not to follow me here!" Rick yelled in exasperation.

After getting over the initial shock, Lynn responded with, "I wanted to help you, grandpa. This mission seems dangerous."

"Which is exactly why I told you not to follow me here, Lynn!" Rick retorted as he took out his portal gun. "I'm sending you back home, right now, little lady!"

Before he could open a portal, a ball of purple fire came out from the shadows and knocked it out of his hands. The fireball badly burned the portal gun, but the impact with the ground shattered the green bulb. Rick put Lynn down and handed her a laser cannon as he motioned himself in front of her.

"Well, looks like you got your wish, Lynn." Rick said as he charged up his laser cannon.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor 9:30 AM**

As Lincoln watched over his, Lori's, and Lynn's Meeseeks, he noticed that Lynn's assumption of them gaining more than their hair color held some truth. He did often have to run some interference to prevent his parents from noticing that they were doing their work, but he still noticed.

While they were clearly eager to finish their respective tasks, the Meeseeks retained some traits of their masters. Lincoln's Meeseeks had been reading one of his Ace Savvy comics during the process, Lori's Meeseeks had picked up her signature verbal tick, and Lynn's Meeseeks playfully palled around with the other two; exactly like Lynn would have done.

"Ooh, boy! We're almost done cleaning!" Lincoln's Meeseeks said as he continued to read his comic.

"Literally, my brother! We'll be done in no time!" Lori's Meeseeks screeched.

"It's a little sad that it'll be over soon, but I love you guys!" Lynn's Meeseeks sincerely said as he playfully punched the other two's arms.

Soon enough, the Meeseeks had finished their task and left the entire house spotless. Suddenly, the Meeseeks embraced each other and gave consoling words before they each exploded in a puff of powder blue smoke.

With them gone, Lincoln took back his comic that his Meeseeks had and headed towards his room to read it for himself. Unfortunately, his worst fear had been realized when Rita called from downstairs.

"Kids, your Pop-Pop is on video chat! You should all come say 'hello' to him!" Rita called, unaware that only Lincoln heard her.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 9:32 AM**

As much as Lincoln didn't want to without his sisters, he decided to go down to see their other grandfather on the family computer by the stairs.

Lincoln's grandfather had adopted the nickname to differentiate himself from Rick. While he and the others cared deeply for him, it had been awhile since he wanted to do a video chat.

Pop-Pop, otherwise known as Albert Robinson, was a burly man, with white hair, with a large tuft of stuck up hair, much like Lincoln's own. He also had gray mustache and thick gray eyebrows. On his right forearm, he had a tattoo of an anchor. He wore a white button-up shirt, blue jeans with a black belt, and orange suspenders.

"Well, there's my favorite grandson! Still haven't recovered from Rick's experiment, huh?" Albert said cheerfully, referring to Lincoln's now-white hair.

"Yeah, it's kind of weird, but I like it." Lincoln revealed, smiling sheepishly. "The girls are just resting from our cleaning, so they nominated me to talk to you."

"Aw, it's a good thing to know that my grandkids are working together on this. I just wish it was easier for you guys to visit me." Albert said sincerely.

"Yeah, it'd definitely be less life-threatening." Lincoln remarked.

"No offense, Lincoln, but could you bring Luna here? I know she likes to sing for me when we talk." Albert requested, much to Lincoln's fear.

"Uh…yeah. I'll be right back." Lincoln said nervously as he frantically ran upstairs into his room and sent out a mass-text telling everyone to come home. However, when he received responses that they would, he noticed that Lynn's response was the only one missing.

"Ugh, where are you, Lynn?!" Lincoln asked incredulously to himself.

 **Ignis 10:35 AM**

As they wildly fired into the purple darkness, Rick and Lynn did their best to avoid the fireballs sent their way. While they had done a decent job, Rick's lab coat and Lynn's ponytail were lightly singed from a few near-misses. Thankfully, they had found refuge in a strangely empty foxhole and waited for their attackers to stop looking.

"Now do you see why I didn't want you to come along?!" Rick whispered incredulously to his granddaughter.

"Okay, I didn't exactly think this through! I just wanted to prove myself to you!" Lynn quietly retorted as she formed a few tears.

"Honeybee, what're you talking about?" Rick asked as he knelt to her eyelevel.

"It's just…I feel like I…don't really matter to you sometimes when it comes to missions." Lynn tearfully revealed.

"Lynn, what do you mean?" Rick asked sincerely.

"Well, you and Lincoln go on insane adventures all the time with almost everyone else." Lynn pointed out. She slowly formed tears as she continued to talk. "Luna got that Spartan helmet, Luan got to fight against that alien bull, Lucy helped you fight that alternate Rick, and me…I haven't been on any real missions since you came into our lives."

Suddenly, Rick embraced Lynn and gently stroked her hair, much to the latter's surprise.

"Lynn, there's a reason why you're not usually on the dangerous missions. You have such a fire in your heart that you charge head-first into everything." Rick said as he continued his embrace. "You have such a zest for life, but it puts you in danger. All those times that the girls or Lincoln got into trouble, I try to stay calm on the outside, but on the inside…I'm terrified." Rick revealed as he silently wept.

"I didn't know. Grandpa Rick, I…"

"You don't have to say anything, Sweet Honeybee. Let's just make sure we come back alive." Rick politely interrupted as he ended their embrace and wiped the tears away from his eyes.

Lynn wiped her eyes as well and stared at Rick happily as they charged up their laser canons.

"Round two, Lynn?" Rick asked, which Lynn returned with a firm nod as they once again charged into the purple unknown.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 9:37 AM**

With his sisters on the way, Lincoln had to figure out a way to stall Pop-Pop as he paced in the kitchen. While he was tempted to use his emergency trunk, Rick's Meeseeks box provided a less confusing solution.

With that, Lincoln pushed the button ten times and instantly created ten Meeseeks with varying tufts of his white hair.

"Hi, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!" Lincoln's Meseekses said happily.

"Mr. Meeseekes, I'm going to need each of you to masquerade as one of my sisters for Pop-Pop until they come home, but you're free to die if the one you dress as comes back." Lincoln requested as he set aside the Meeseeks Box.

"Ooh! Can do!" Lincoln's Meeseekses screeched as they went upstairs and each took a costume from Lincoln's trunk. When they came down, they were all dressed like his sisters, but were obviously still Meeseekses.

"It's a good thing Pop-Pop never puts on his reading glasses and has bad hearing." Lincoln said to himself, aware that this plan wouldn't have worked otherwise.

With that, Lincoln and the disguised Meeseekses headed back to the family computer. Lincoln gestured to the Luna-Meeseeks, wanting him to sing something for Pop-Pop.

"Um…" the Luna-Meeseeks droned, unsure of how to even start.

"Oh, come on, Luna. You can do it." Albert said encouragingly, unaware that he was talking to a Meeseeks.

With that, the Luna-Meeseeks cleared his throat and sang.

 _Twinkle, twinkle, little star,_

 _How I wonder what you are!_

 _Up above the world so high,_

 _Like a diamond in the sky._

"Oh, fantastic Luna!" Albert praised as he covered his ears, which thankfully stopped Luna-Meeseeks caterwauling. "I tell yah, all those years of constantly singing is bad for your voice, kiddo. It's gotten even raspier since the last time."

"Oh, sorry, Pop-Pop." the Luna-Meeseeks said, apparently still in-character.

"It's fine. So, how about some comedy from Luan?" Albert said cheerfully as Lincoln pushed the Luan-Meeseeks to the computer, grateful that Luna-Meeseeks had finished singing.

"So, uh, what does a nosey pepper do? Gets _**jalapeno**_ your business!" the Luan-Meeseeks said, trying to mimic Luan's sense of humor. Fortunately, it worked as Albert began to laugh.

"Oh, you slay me every time, Luan!" Albert said sincerely. "Hey, let me get a look at those twins, huh?"

With that, the Lola and Lana-Meeseekes meekly stood in front of the computer, with Pop-Pop forming a quizzical expression.

"Huh, that's weird. Usually, you kids are fighting over who gets to talk to me first." Albert obliviously said.

"I want to talk to him first!" the Lola-Meeseeks said angrily to the Lana-Meeseeks.

"No, me first!" the Lana-Meeseeks retorted back as the two began to fight violently.

"Whoa! Calm down, girls. There's plenty of Pop-Pop to go around." Albert said placatingly, unaware that they were physically tearing each other apart.

The Lola-Meeseeks had ripped off Lana Meeseeks' right arm and started to savagely beat him with it, which coated the latter in white blood. However, the Lana-Meeseeks began to fight back by catching the arm in his teeth and throwing it away as he chomped hard on the Lola-Meeseeks' head.

"Guys, you can stop fighting, now!" Lincoln yelled to the dueling Meeseeks, which surprisingly worked as they shared an awkward conversation.

"Ooh, sorry, man." the Lola-Meeseeks said as he handed back Lana-Meeseeks' severed arm.

"It's cool. It won't matter when we get die." the Lana-Meeseeks said hopefully, which briefly disturbed Lincoln.

Suddenly, the sisters all showed up at the door, except for Lynn, which caused all the Meeseekses to gasp happily.

"Hooray! We're all going to die!" most the Meeseekses cheered as they harmlessly exploded in a puff of powder blue smoke, which only left the Lynn-Meeseeks alive. Thankfully, the supplies they took from Lincoln's trunk were left behind as well.

"Aw, I didn't die!" the Lynn-Meeseeks childishly complained.

"Uh, what's going on here?" Lori asked, confused by the exploding Meeseekses.

"Pop-Pop's on video chat, so I made a bunch of Meeseekses to cover for you guys until you got back." Lincoln explained.

"Uh, what about him? Shouldn't he have died?" Lisa asked, befuddled by the Lynn-Meeseeks' continued existence.

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks! I have to fulfill my exact purpose so that I can go away!" the Lynn-Meeseeks declared, somewhat anxiously.

It was then that Lincoln's eyes widened. Given his specific instructions, the Lynn-Meeseeks could only die when Lynn returned…which he had no way of knowing since she hadn't responded to his mass-text.

"Oh, this is bad." Lincoln deadpanned to himself.

 **Ignis 12:40 PM**

After fighting their way through the mysterious horde of aggressors, Rick and Lynn managed to spot a nearby castle, which made Rick smile in relief.

"Finally, we made it!" Rick declared as he and Lynn ran inside.

"What's so special about the castle, grandpa?" Lynn asked.

"My friends are in there. They'll help us out." Rick explained, only for guards in purple armor to suddenly surround the duo.

"These are your friends?" Lynn asked, somewhat fearfully.

"Enough! Let them go!" a masculine voice bellowed, which instantly made the guards back down. Rick and Lynn looked in the direction of where the voice came from, with several purple flames suddenly illuminating the room.

Rick and Lynn saw a slender, purple-skinned humanoid man with short, dark purple hair made of flames, an identical beard, and piercing green eyes. He wore a purple crown with a single orange gem embedded in the middle and a purple suit of armor with a cape. This was King Flamel.

Accompanied by him was an identical boy, but looked around Lynn's age. While he had most of his father's features, he lacked a beard, a crown, and wore a purple suit instead of armor. This was Prince Anwar.

King Flamel approached the duo with his son not too far behind and stared at Rick seriously before he formed a warm smile.

"It's been too long, old friend." King Flamel said as he embraced Rick.

"Likewise, Flamel. Is everything ready?" Rick asked as he returned the embrace and ended it after a few moments.

Suddenly, Flamel gave Rick his purple crown and asked, "Are you sure that this will work?"

"Positive. I did the calculations a few hundred times before I came here." Rick explained as he took out his Freeze Ray and froze the crown, much to Lynn's confusion.

"Grandpa, what are you doing?" Lynn asked.

"Something that'll save this planet." Rick stated as Anwar took the frozen crown as his guards wheeled in a large, mechanical catapult-like device. Anwar loaded the frozen crown into the device and allowed Rick to position it.

"I hope so. This civil war has gone on for too long." Anwar said hopefully as Rick punched in the exact coordinates.

"And awaaaay we go!" Rick declared as the roof of the castle opened and the device fired the frozen crown into the sun, much to Lynn's disbelief.

"Uh, what was the point of…?"

Suddenly, a large booming sound came from the sun as the purple coloring began to burn brightly. After a few moments of this event, Lynn and the others were forced to close their eyes from the changing sun. When the event ended, Lynn opened her eyes and was amazed by what she saw.

The sun had become a rainbow of colors that brightly illuminated the entire planet. All the purple had been replaced as the planet and its inhabitants changed to orange and red when appropriate. As such, Lynn could now see their true colors as she saw King Flamel and Prince Anwar in orange and red attire with fiery-red eyes, orange skin, and flaming red hair.

"Whoa. This is awesome." Lynn said, awestruck by the change.

"Yeah, they were in a war with another species, but they unleashed a sun plague that made them fight each other as self-loathing revenge before King Flamel's men won. The crown was the catalyst for restoring the planet because it protected the last orange gem from the sun, but it needed to be frozen for it to work." Rick revealed as they heard the celebrations of the entire planet.

"Thank you, Rick! You have saved our species!" King Flamel said sincerely as he cried his familiar orange tears.

"We are eternally grateful, Rick and Lynn the Humans." Prince Anwar said as he bowed to them, much to Lynn's confusion.

"Uh, what's the deal with the title?" Lynn asked Rick.

"Just go with it. Prince Anwar is pretty formal when it comes to praise." Rick discretely whispered to her.

"Oh, and I have a gift." Prince Anwar said as he gave Lynn an orange communication crystal.

"Cool. So, what's this for?" Lynn asked.

"It'll be so that we can regularly communicate. It's not every day that we have such…comely outsiders like yourself." Prince Anwar said nervously as he blushed a little, much to Lynn's surprise.

"No, I'm not really that…"

"Just take it." Prince Anwar requested with a warm smile, which made Lynn blush a little as she put it in her left shorts' pocket.

"Yeah, let's get out of here, lovebirds." Rick deadpanned as King Flamel created a fire portal for their home dimension. After Rick and Lynn leapt into the portal, Rick briefly went back and said a thinly veiled threat to Prince Anwar, "Don't try anything with my granddaughter…or else.", which made him gulp anxiously as Rick went back home.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 11:50 PM**

When they arrived in the living room through the fire portal, Rick and Lynn took in the mysterious devastation of the house. There were pools of white blood with flecks of red scattered throughout the house and several pieces of furniture were out of place, including the home computer. Thankfully, aside from a cracked screen, it appeared to be safe. Suddenly, they heard a clattering sound from the kitchen alongside sounds of a struggle.

"What happened, grandpa?" Lynn asked, somewhat afraid.

"I have a feeling, but I'm not sure. Let's go." Rick said seriously as he motioned himself in front of Lynn as they approached the kitchen. When they arrived, Rick and Lynn saw the Lynn-Meeseeks tied to a chair with most of the badly injured Loud siblings panting in exhaustion. He then noticed that Rita and Dante were in a similar situation, but the Lynn-Meeseeks gasped when he saw Lynn.

"Hooray! I can die!" the Lynn-Meeseeks declared as he exploded in a puff of powder blue smoke, much to the injured Loud family's relief.

"Uh, what exactly happened here?" Rick asked.

"Your Meeseeks Box happened, Rick!" Rita yelled angrily. "It went crazy when Lynn didn't come home so that he could die and beat us all up when he tried to kill Lincoln!"

"Dad, what were you thinking using that old box?! Lincoln almost died!" Dante angrily pointed out.

"What? I told the kids to keep the requests simple." Rick defended as he stared at Lincoln sympathetically. "Are you okay, Lincoln?"

"I'll be fine, grandpa and I've learned my lesson: never take the easy way out." Lincoln said as his sisters let out murmurs of agreement, including Lynn.

"Well, that's good, but what are we going to do to fix this house?!" Dante yelled incredulously.

Rick tapped his chin in thought. "Well, I do have a Fleeseeks Box."

"No! No more boxes!" Rita yelled, thinking that it was something like the Meeseeks Box.

"What? It just has a mop and some floor wax. Wubba lubba dub-dub!" Rick declared as the entire family erupted into a fit of laughter from his phrase.

"You kids are still grounded by the way." Rita and Dante said simultaneously when the laughter ended, much to their chagrin.

"Oh, boy. Same time, next week to a few months, everyone!" Rick yelled to a mysterious fourth wall, much to everyone's confusion.

 **AN: And now, time to recap.**

 **Rick and Lynn's Adventure: yeah, this was done mainly because I plan to have Rick go on at least one adventure with the girls without Lincoln or without much involvement from Lincoln to expand on their relationships with him, which basically already happened with the first two chapters.**

 **King Flamel and Prince Anwar: yeah, I do plan to have them show up again, but I plan to use Prince Anwar more mostly because of the reason I created them. It's just a friendly nod to Lynn's voice actor's time on** _ **Adventure Time**_ **, but reversed.**

 **The Meeseeks: yeah, even though I think that they're funny, I probably won't do another chapter with them in focus mostly because of how they're only defined by their master's whims.**

 **Changing the Meeseeks Box: since there really wasn't any canon explanation to the Meeseekes' red hair or baldness, I decided to have Rick's Meeseeks Box take on a few traits from whomever summons them.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with what'll probably be the darkest chapter I've ever written for any of my stories.**

 **Next time—Chapter 6: Luna Potion #9**


	6. Luna Potion 9

**AN: Hello again, everyone. I would like to thank you all for your support in this story, but I do have an announcement to make. I am currently in my Spring semester of college, so there will be delays on some chapters which will vary depending on my workload and free time.**

 **Now, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 6: Luna Potion # 9

 **Royal Woods High School 8:00 AM**

It was a typical Thursday morning for Luna as she walked to her locker to get her Algebra book, although she was glad that their grounding for the Mr. Meeseeks incident was over today. While Rick occasionally sought out her, Lori, Leni, and/or Luan for a mission, he had rarely done so since they started high school. This gave her and most of the elder Loud sisters the relative freedom of high school girls…including dating.

Sadly, Luna didn't have much success in that department. While she was certainly attractive, most of the boys even close to her age group relentlessly fawned over Leni, although Leni hadn't been dating anyone either. In fact, for some reason, any boy that tried to introduce themselves wound up with a punch to the face. Luna knew that this was strange since Leni casually dated, but Lori had intercepted her from asking Leni about her changed outlook, even at home.

Still, Luna hadn't been turning anyone's head at school. Lori had Bobby, Leni could've had any boy in the school, and even Luan had some admirers, but she rarely acted on any of them. Although, her lack of a romantic life didn't mean that she couldn't have crushes. While it didn't happen very often, it hit hard when it did…and it was hitting hard right now.

Luna overheard the all-too-familiar giggling of the girls that surrounded the object of her affections. She formed a red-hot blush as she poked her head out from her locker and saw Fredrick "Freddy" Powers, the foreign-exchange student from England.

Freddy was a 15-year-old boy around Luna's height with short, dark red hair, brown eyes, and fair skin. He wore a light-blue sweater, black jeans, and white tennis shoes. While he hadn't been here for that long, Freddy had a devoted legion of girls that were all eager to be his girlfriend. Thankfully for Luna, he hadn't been dating anyone here, but he hadn't expressed any interest in her either.

"So, the Blue Moon Dance is tonight. Who'd you like to take?!" one of the girls asked excitedly.

"Dana, stop daydreaming. He'll obviously go with me." another girl said confidently.

"In your dreams, Rachel! He wants to go with me!" another girl shrieked as they all eyed each other in jealousy before it escalated into a full-on catfight.

Freddy stared at his legion fighting amongst themselves apathetically and nonchalantly walked the other way, which was exactly where Luna was. Luna stammered as she attempted to move her legs, but the sight of Freddy made them feel like jelly. Luna's heart raced as he came even closer to her and gave her the almost-forgotten sensation she got whenever she was close to a boy that she liked. Luna could barely fight it as Freddy walked right past her, until he said, "Hi, Luna."

With that, all self-control was lost as a large geyser of blood erupted from Luna's nose, which practically painted the inside of her locker door red as Freddy innocently looked at her display in confusion. Knowing that he had seen her like that, Luna frantically ran to the girls' bathroom, fighting back tears.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 2:35 PM**

After her humiliating display, Luna had managed to avoid Freddy for the rest of the day. Thankfully, no one else had seen it since her sisters and classmates hadn't brought it up. Still, Luna's face was bright red as she talked to the one person she could completely trust with this delicate matter in the kitchen.

"I can't believe I did that! He finally says 'hi' to me and what do I do?!" Luna lamented to her mother. "I bleed worse than the time Lynn hit me in the nose with a golf club!"

"Honey, I wouldn't worry about it. You're a smart, nice, and beautiful girl. You'll have boys breaking down your door soon enough." Rita said comfortingly as she gave Luna a can of orange soda.

"That's the thing, mom. I don't want boys; I want Freddy." Luna said as she opened her can and started to drink the soda.

"Oh, boy. I remember a time when I felt _**that**_ way about a boy; your dad." Rita said wistfully as she recounted her early years with Dante. "The first thing that popped into my head was…"

"'I better trick him into knocking me up so that he'll marry me.'" Rick rudely interrupted as he grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"Excuse me? One of my daughters is right here." Rita said tersely.

"Oh, sure. T-T-Tell her about the time when you got my son to let his guard down on the night before graduation and impregnated you with Lori." Rick said sarcastically as he opened his beer can and started to drink.

"We got married because we loved each other!" Rita pointed out.

"Maybe so, and I respect that you put your body through eleven kids." Rick said begrudgingly, only to softly add, "Too bad you're a horny bitch."

Rita's eyes widened as she heard that and stared at Rick angrily. "What did you just call me?"

Rick nonchalantly took out his Freeze Ray and aimed it at her, which immediately caused Rita to back off. He then turned towards Luna with a sympathetic expression and said, "Listen, Pixie Cut, you got a lot of time before you start looking for love. If you're not careful, you could get really hurt or wind up ruining a good relationship. I did it and it made your grandmother leave me, take your dad, and change their last names. You should break the cycle, Luna." He ended the conversation with a sincere hug before he put the Freeze Ray back in his left coat pocket and left the kitchen.

"Whew. That was close." Rita said to herself.

"Oh, by the way, my Freeze Ray is out of juice right now." Rick bluntly said from the other room, much to Rita and Luna's shock.

"Well, I'm still going to the dance." Luna said as she headed off to get ready for tonight.

"Yeah, sounds good, honey." Rita said halfheartedly as she came to terms with how easily she got tricked.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor 3:00 PM**

After showering, Luna walked back to her room, clad only in a purple towel. She then closed the door and took it off, only to sense the presence of Luan.

"Whoa! Full moon out tonight!" Luan joked, since Luna had her back turned when she took off her towel. Luna quickly put it back on and blushed slightly.

"Not that funny, Luan." Luna said tersely as she turned to face her, only for Luan to start laughing even harder. It wasn't until she noticed that in her haste to cover herself, she had only bothered to do the bottom half. As such, she inadvertently exposed her upper half to Luan, which made Luna blush even harder.

"Okay, okay! Sorry!" Luan said in-between her laughter. After a few moments, she started to calm down and said, "It's just been a while since you let your guard down like that."

"I don't get why you think it's funny. I have the same parts you have." Luna said as she grabbed a pair of purple panties and a bra before she went inside the closet to change.

"True, but it's still pretty funny." Luan pointed out and then formed a quizzical expression. "Kind of early to get ready for the dance, Luna."

"Well, I wanted to make sure that I had enough time. Why aren't you guys getting ready?" Luna asked.

"We all have our own things to do tonight." Luan explained. "Actually, I'm pretty sure that you're the only one going to the dance."

"How come? Lori could bring Bobby, at least." Luna pointed out.

"They have their own date night tonight, Leni's got a sleepover, I've got a goth birthday party to perform at, Lincoln and Lynn are going to be at the movies watching a _Karate Fist_ movie marathon, Lucy's hanging out at a cemetery again, Lola and Lana will be at a _Blarney the Dinosaur_ concert, Lisa has a night lecture, and Lily's staying home with mom and dad." Luan explained.

"Well, whatever the case, I'm going to look my best for tonight." Luna said as she emerged from the closet, which made Luan gasp in amazement.

While Luna was already desirable, her outfit certainly worked in her favor. She wore a tasteful dark purple, knee-length dress with matching shoes, exchanged her paperclip earrings for Lori's hand-me-down blue pearl earrings, and purple lipstick.

"Huh? Nice, right?" Luna asked her awestricken sister.

"Whoa. You look like a purple angel." Luan said sincerely as she smiled.

"Thanks. I'm really hoping that this'll work in my favor for tonight." Luna said as she blushed slightly.

"Wait, does this have to do with your mystery crush?" Luan asked, somewhat teasingly.

"Well, a little. I kind of hope that this is going to get him to notice me." Luna replied sheepishly.

"Hey, don't ever think that. A lot of boys notice you, Luna." Luan said encouragingly.

"Not him. He's the only guy I've ever liked this way in a long time, but I really screwed up my chances, the way I always do." Luna said morosely.

"Wait, what happened?" Luan asked, somewhat concerned.

Luna gulped anxiously as she opened with, "You remember what happened with Mason Calloway when we were attending camp?"

"Oh, yeah. It was like, four years ago, at Camp Bobcat. You got a monster nosebleed on the first day when we all went swimming and he smiled at you, but it was so much that the counselors thought it was someone's period." Luan recalled, with a small smile.

"Well, I kind of did the same thing today…all over my locker door…in front of him." Luna revealed, her face now burning hot.

"Oh, that's pretty bad." Luan said as she laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, which the rocker girl accepted.

"So, that's why I'm trying to impress him. If I can just wow him enough, maybe he can look past that, you know?" Luna said as her blush faded, almost uncertainly.

"Hey, you're Luna Loud. You're a smart, gorgeous girl and any guy would be lucky to have you." Luan said sincerely as she warmly embraced Luna, which she returned with a smile.

"I needed that, Luan. Thank you." Luna said sincerely as she ended the embrace and headed out the door, only for Luan to interrupt her.

"Hey, you mean a lot to me, Luna. If worse comes to worse, he's a total dummy." Luan said, only to suddenly bring out her ventriloquist dummy, Mr. Coconuts.

"Funny, I thought that was me!" Luan said as Mr. Coconuts, which brought a rare smile from her jokes to Luna's face as she left their room.

 **Rick's Lab 3:30 PM**

Given the arduous task of transportation, Lori would drive Leni, Luan, Lucy, Lola, Lana, and Lisa to their events while her parents stayed home. Even though Rick's space cruiser could hold four passengers, only Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln volunteered to ride with him. As such, they all said their goodbyes and waited in Rick's lab as he worked on an experiment since they had some time on their hands.

"I'm glad you kids are here while I work on my Ionic Disruptor." Rick said sincerely as he screwed in a canister of light green liquid into a large, metallic device on his workbench.

"So, what's this supposed to do, grandpa?" Lincoln asked.

"A lot of great things if this works, Lincoln. Can one of you hand me a screwdriver?" Rick requested.

Since Luna was the closest to Rick's toolbox in his bookshelf, she silently volunteered and opened the latch to find it. However, she was sidetracked when she saw a vial of murky green liquid and a centrifuge next to it.

"Whoa. What are these rad things, Grandpa Rick?" Luna asked as Rick turned around, only for his eyes to widen in apprehension.

"Luna, you shouldn't touch those things!" Rick said fearfully as he abandoned his workbench to guide her away from the objects. "That vial contains a special extract from a vole. You know what those are?"

"Uh, some kind of alien?" Lynn inferred.

"Not exactly, Sweet Honeybee. They're these little rodents that m-m-mate for life. If it got into that device, was properly made, and smeared on someone, it could mean a really bad thing for the planet." Rick explained as he gently pushed Luna towards Lynn and Lincoln.

"How so, Grandpa Rick?" Lincoln asked.

"That doesn't matter right now. All of you have to stay away from that at all costs." Rick warned and then said, "Now, I need to take a leak. Don't touch anything."

With that, Rick left his lab and left the trio to their own devices. While Lynn and Lincoln appeared to not question Rick's warnings, Luna couldn't help but stare at it anxiously.

She was perfectly content with trying to get Freddy's attention at the dance, but she hadn't considered that Rick would have anything to tip the scales into her favor. After all, she wanted him more than anything and Rick hadn't given a clear warning about what would happen if they used it. With a mischievous smile, Luna approached the objects again and began to work.

"Luna, what are you doing?!" Lynn and Lincoln yelled simultaneously.

"I've got a really good chance with this, you guys! I know it's a little unethical, but I just need this!" Luna defended as she opened the latch of the device and poured in the vole extract.

"Now, what?" Lynn asked bluntly, much to Luna's embarrassment.

While she wanted to have, Freddy fall for her, Luna had no idea what to do next to get it to work for her. Her fears were alleviated when the machine asked in a synthesized, feminine voice, _"Please insert DNA into the overhead compartment."_

Luna smiled as she plucked out one of her hairs and inserted it into the machine. She closed the lid and watched it stir the mixture until it deposited a bright orange liquid into a small, handheld vial and corked it for her. Knowing that this was likely what she needed, Luna tucked it into her dress pocket. When it was over, Luna met the disappointed glares of Lynn and Lincoln.

"You are so dead, Luna." Lynn said bluntly.

"We need to tell Grandpa Rick about this." Lincoln added.

"Please, don't! I know that it's a little wrong, but I need to get him to feel the same way about me!" Luna pleaded to her siblings with her puppy-dog eyes.

After a few moments, Lynn and Lincoln let out sighs of resignation. "Fine, but it's going to end badly." Lynn said, hating that she used her puppy-dog eyes.

"Don't feel bad. We lost a battle of wills." Lincoln said reassuringly, even though he wasn't pleased either.

When they heard, Rick approaching, Luna hastily returned the device and empty vial to their proper place and whistled nonchalantly when Rick came back.

"Whew, that was nice." Rick said, only to look at his watch. "The _Karate Fist_ movie marathon will be starting soon. Let's go!"

With that, Rick, Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln headed into the space cruiser and flew off with Luna smiling contentedly. After all, how much damage could her plan possibly do?

 **Royal Woods High Gymnasium 6:30 PM**

Night had quickly fallen when Rick dropped Luna off. Since she had a little bit of time before the dance, she caught the first two _Karate Fist_ movies with Lynn and Lincoln. While the duo attempted to talk Luna out of her plan, it fell on deaf ears. As such, she had every intention with following through as she entered the gymnasium.

It was set up like a traditional high school dance, but all of the decorations were shades of blue for the theme. Everyone was dressed in either a suit or a dress with a few chaperones watching the dance floor to prevent any late-night…festivities.

She spotted Freddy in a dark red suit, black tie, and matching shoes. However, he had a bored look on his face as his legion surrounded him, all of whom wanted to dance with him. Knowing that she wouldn't be affected, Luna discretely uncorked the vial and spread a small glob of it on her left hand before she put it back as she approached him. While she would have ordinarily had a nosebleed, or felt her face burn up, she felt enough confidence that she only formed a small, barely noticeable blush.

"Hi, Freddy. Whoops!" Luna said innocently as she pretended to stumble, and smeared the serum on Freddy's left cheek.

This instantly got the entire legion to stare angrily or gasp at Luna for what she did, unaware that the serum was starting to affect Freddy.

"Get away from him, Rocker Skank!" one of them declared spitefully.

"I can't believe you touched his cheek before I did!" one said enviously.

"How about we take this outside, Loony?" another said angrily.

"Whoa, Luna. You look nice tonight." Freddy said sincerely as the girls gasped in shock, including Luna. However, Luna noticed that Freddy's pupils had slightly enlarged, likely from the serum.

"Freddy, are you blind?! She's a total tomboy!" Dana said incredulously.

"I'll take care of this." Rachel said as she grabbed Luna's right arm, intending to throw her out.

"Leave her alone! She's prettier than all of you combined!" Freddy said as he took her away from Rachel, only to suddenly sneeze on her. He then turned to Luna and said, "Sorry, love. I have a bit of a cold."

"That's okay. This is nice." Luna said with a content smile and a warm blush. However, she was unaware when Rachel's pupils became exactly like Freddy's or when the embarrassed legion suddenly left in a huff.

"Oh, I'm really sorry, Luna." Rachel said apologetically, but with a hint of attraction.

"That's okay." Luna said halfheartedly, distracted by Freddy's presence.

"There's something amazing about you, Luna! Something sexy!" Rachel said lustfully as she grabbed Luna away from Freddy and groped her butt.

"Whoa! I don't really mind this too much, but I prefer guys!" Luna protested, unaware of why Rachel was acting like this.

"Rachel, that's enough! You're out of the dance!" one of the chaperones declared as he took her away, which allowed Freddy to reembrace Luna.

"What do you think that was about?" Luna asked, still reeling from that encounter.

"Who cares? Just hold me forever, Luna." Freddy said, love-struck from the serum.

"I can do that." Luna said, somewhat lustfully as they started to dance.

"Let me go! I love you, Luna Loud!" Rachel yelled desperately, only to sneeze right over the punch bowl, which spread into the air conditioner.

 **Royal Woods Multiplex 7:14 PM**

After the third and final _Karate Fist_ movie ended, Lynn and Lincoln hastily left the theater to deal with the inevitable combination of a large soda and not wanting to miss anything from their favorite movie franchise.

"Oh, got to pee!" Lynn and Lincoln declared simultaneously as they ran off to the bathroom and heavily relieved themselves before returning with a smile on their faces.

"Whew, that was close." Lynn said, relieved.

"I know, right?" Lincoln said similarly.

"Come on. We told grandpa that he should be waiting outside for us around this time." Lynn said as she and Lincoln headed out the door with the numerous other moviegoers. Thankfully, Rick had arrived in his space cruiser, though he had a nearly-empty flask in his right hand.

"H-Hey kids. Did you have a good time t-t-tonight?" Rick asked as he allowed Lynn and Lincoln to enter the backseat.

"Yeah, but probably not as good as Luna's." Lynn said somewhat suggestively, only for her and Lincoln to cover her mouth when they realized what she'd said.

"Wait, w-why would you say that?" Rick asked, somewhat suspiciously.

"Uh, well…" Lincoln started off, only for Rick to interrupt him.

"Luna used the serum for the dance?!" Rick rightly inferred, which only elicited shameful nods from Lynn and Lincoln.

"Are you mad?" Lynn asked nervously.

"There'll be time for anger later! We need to get to the school, now!" Rick yelled fearfully as he flew the cruiser to the school as fast as he could and activated the 4th Dimensional Drift Drive.

 **Royal Woods High 7:15 PM**

It had been the most blissful time of Luna's life as she danced with Freddy. While she did feel guilty that she had essentially drugged him, there was no denying how this felt.

"Please god, just let this last forever." Luna gleefully whispered as Freddy's lips were suddenly inches away from her own.

"Oh, do it Luna. Let's do it." Freddy said lustfully as he stepped back and removed his suit's upper half, which revealed his developing abs to her. "Rip my pants off and mate with me for life!" Freddy declared as he began to pelvic thrust, much to Luna's discomfort.

While she wanted Freddy to love her, he was moving too fast for her. Unsure of what exactly to do, Luna nervously said as a crowd of onlookers gathered around them, "Uh, don't you think that we should wait a while?"

"Freddy get a hold of yourself!" one of the boys stated, only for his pupils to suddenly enlarge. "You don't deserve to have your puny dick in Luna's pussy!"

Luna then nervously began to backpedal, only to see that everyone's pupils had enlarged like Freddy's. As she noticed that she was surrounded, the crowd suddenly erupted into a sexual frenzy as all the dance patrons began to swarm around her.

She only managed to get away with several tears around her dress because Freddy had intervened to save her for himself. Luna ran straight for the doors as Rick appeared with his Freeze Ray in-hand and opened it for her.

"Thank god, Luna! We've got to get out of here!" Rick declared as Luna embraced him and he closed the door. He then froze it solid with a blast from his Freeze Ray and ran off with her. "What was the one thing that I told you to do when I left my lab?!" Rick said incredulously to the terrified Luna.

"To not use the vole serum!" Luna replied hastily.

"And what did you do?!" Rick asked incredulously.

"I used the vole serum!" Luna replied fearfully.

When they reached the outside, they ran towards the parking lot when Rick had parked his space cruiser. They quickly got in, only for Rick to motion Luna to the driver's seat while he went in the back with Lynn and Lincoln. Suddenly, the swarm of infected dance patrons erupted from the building, which forced Luna to drive upwards to escape their wrath. As soon as they were high enough, Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln sighed in relief.

"Grandpa, what's going on?!" the trio asked simultaneously.

"It isn't obvious?!" Rick asked incredulously as he began to take out several chemicals. "The serum's effect somehow went airborne. It's infecting everyone!" Rick revealed, much to everyone's shock.

"Wait, then why aren't we affected?" Lincoln pointed out.

"The serum doesn't work on anyone related to the person that was used to finalize it. It must've spread so fast because someone had a cold." Rick explained as he held out a vial of bright green liquid.

Rick then moved to the front seat and poured the chemical into a small chamber before he closed it. "This is a special antidote that should work. It's based on praying mantis DNA; practically the opposite of voles."

"How so, grandpa?" Lynn asked.

"Well, there's no love in a mantis relationship. I-I-I mean they mate once and then decapitate the other one. It should bring everyone back to normal." Rick revealed as he pulled a lever that released a green gas over the infected dance patrons. He then pushed a few buttons that activated a large bubble that encapsulated the town, much to the shock of the remaining three.

"What's the deal with the bubble, grandpa? Lincoln asked.

"Oh, just in case. I _**really**_ don't want to risk this virus spreading if it doesn't work." Rick explained.

"Hey, it's going to work, grandpa." Luna said encouragingly, only to hear the pained screams of the dance patrons. Luna and the rest of them stared down and saw them change into mantis-like creatures.

Their arms, legs, and bodies now resembled a mantis, with very few retaining any traits from their previous forms and some even losing their eyes in exchange for bulbous mantis eyes. Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln stared at this event in horror while Rick only said, "Well, that could've gone better."

"Wait, we need to go find the others!" Lincoln said fearfully, remembering that his remaining sisters and his parents were still in danger.

"Relax, I have a contingency plan in case something like this happened." Rick reassured. "I put stashes of weapons in the areas where the girls and your parents would be for the night."

"You knew that something like this would happen?!" Lynn asked incredulously.

"Not entirely. I have robots that discretely move the stashes to wherever you girls go at night." Rick revealed. "We have to get out of here. Hang on!"

With that, Rick commandeered the space cruiser and flew high up to the near top of the bubble. Before he could crash, he activated the 4th Dimensional Drift Drive and reappeared outside the protective bubble and flew somewhere safe to finish the cure.

 **Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet 7:20 PM**

Meanwhile, Lori had been enjoying a nice dinner with Bobby at their favorite restaurant. Bobby was a 17-year-old boy with tan skin, and black hair, with a tuft combed upwards. He wore blue jeans, brown shoes, a black belt with a gold buckle, and a cream-colored t-shirt, under a green unbuttoned shirt.

"Aw, this is literally the perfect date, Bobby Boo-Boo Bear." Lori said blissfully, unaware that Bobby's pupils had enlarged.

"Yeah, totally. So, what does Luna look like when she's naked?" Bobby said as he perversely approached her.

"Wait, what?!" Lori asked, offended that her boyfriend had asked that kind of question, unaware that the restaurant patrons were approaching her, all with enlarged pupils.

"What does Luna's hair smell like? How soft is her perfect pussy?" Bobby asked, undeterred.

"I'm really not comfortable with this, Bobby!" Lori declared angrily, which turned to fear as Bobby and the restaurant patrons turned into the mantis creatures.

"Take us to Luna!" Bobby declared alongside the transformed patrons.

Suddenly, Lori screamed and ran out of the restaurant, only for the creatures to follow her. She wasn't sure if she could outrun them, only to have that fear alleviated with a large box labeled, "Rick's Weapons (for Lori)". Lori smiled as she opened the box and took out a handheld laser cannon. She rapidly fired several blasts at her pursuers, which either instantly killed them or brutally maimed them.

When the pursuers were all dead, only Bobby was left, but he crawled on his mantis abdomen to try to find Luna, only for Lori to shove the laser cannon at his head.

"Goodbye, Boo-Boo Bear." Lori said as she fought back tears and blew off her transformed boyfriend's head.

Sadly, Lori didn't mourn for long as a mantis creatures came from behind and pierced her clean through her heart. Lori gasped as she glanced down at the pincer and collapsed when it was removed.

 **Skyler's House 7:27 PM**

Luan had been performing her mime act for the kids at Skyler's party, but she was now on the run for her life as they suddenly transformed into the praying mantis creatures. She fended off most of them with Rick's stash of weapons, but they were still swarming around her in the backyard.

"Okay, this is not funny! I'm totally going to die!" Luan said to herself as she continued her one-woman assault on the mantis creatures. Thankfully, Luan had managed to kill them all and sighed in relief as she grabbed the only remaining laser cannon.

Now that she had time to herself, a dark thought entered her head; were her other siblings fighting these things too?

 **Felicia's House 7:28 PM**

Leni had been attending a sleepover at Felicia's house, but she was running away from the mantis creatures instead of fighting them. It wasn't because she hadn't found the weapons Rick left for her, but she didn't have it in her to kill anyone. As such, running away was the best option for her.

"This is like, so bad! Where's everyone else?!" Leni said fearfully to herself.

Unfortunately, she hadn't even stepped off the lawn of Felicia's house before one of the mantis creatures sliced her left arm clean off. Leni fell to the ground in pain as she clutched her bloody stump and the mantis creatures surrounded her. Leni cried as the creatures sadistically began to hack her to death.

 **Royal Woods Amphitheater 7:32 PM**

Lola and Lana had done a decent job fending off the hordes of transformed concert patrons, but they were running low on ammo. They found themselves cornered on the stage, both on the verge of tears.

"I can't believe that this is how it ends!" Lola said fearfully as she swung her now empty-laser cannon at the monsters.

"At least we're together, Lola." Lana said somberly as she used the last of her ammo.

The twins embraced each other as the surviving monsters surrounded them. Their final words were "I love you" to each other as the mantis creatures' terrifying maws opened.

 **Royal Woods Cemetery 7:35 PM**

Lucy had managed to escape being surrounded by the mantis creatures, but she was still fighting for her life from the treetops as she attacked the ones who came. While the high ground had its advantages, the mantis creatures could fly, which eventually forced Lucy to the ground level.

"At least if I die here, I won't be alone." Lucy darkly said to herself, referring to the numerous corpses in the cemetery.

She relentless shot at them from behind tombstones, but they were undeterred. Lucy continued the assault until they were all dead, much to her relief. However, she no longer had any charged laser cannons and started to leave the cemetery.

Unfortunately, one of the mantis creatures hid in a freshly dug grave and came out to stab Lucy straight through her legs. Lucy formed an uneasy expression on her face as the mantis creature tore her legs off. Lucy cried out in pain as she attempted to crawl away, only for the mantis creature to drive its pincer straight through her head.

 **Royal Woods Community College 7:40 PM**

Lisa had been relentlessly gunning down the mantis creatures with Rick's provided weapons after she walked out of her lecture hall with hardly any scratches. Unfortunately, the entire campus was flooded with the creatures, so she took refuge in her office when her ammo ran out.

"I never thought that I would need this, but tonight's the night." Lisa said to herself as she pressed a red button on her desk that revealed an entire armory of handmade laser cannons from the back wall. While they weren't as powerful as Rick's, they could at least hold out for the rest of the night.

With that, Lisa restarted her assault on the attacking mantis creatures. Unfortunately, the second attack hadn't gone over so well. Just as she reached for the second laser cannon out of the several she'd brought with her, she was decapitated by one of the mantis creatures' pincers from behind.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 7:45 PM**

Dante, Rita, and Lily were far enough away from the chaos that they hadn't noticed the fact that Royal Woods was now overrun with the mantis creatures. Dante and Rita were sitting on the couch with Lily in Rita's lap as they innocently changed the channel to watch the news, which caused the Loud parents' jaws to drop.

" _Our top story tonight: authorities have no leads on the whereabouts of Luna Loud. The only thing that is known is…how sexy she is."_ A male mantis reporter said lustfully.

" _Michael, she's so hot that I want to have sex with her and then eat her head."_ A female mantis reporter said.

" _I think she's hotter than anyone else in the universe, Kyra!"_ Michael yelled jealously.

" _You wish, stupid bastard! Luna's mine!"_ Kyra retorted back as they began to savagely attack each other until the TV image turned to static.

"Oh, my god. Should we be nervous?" Rita asked fearfully, only to notice that Dante had left the room and returned with a large box of weapons that Rick had left for them.

"Let's rock, honey." Dante said seriously as he handed her a laser cannon. Rita smiled as she put Lily in a baby harness and left the house to find swarms of the transformed Royal Woods population had surrounded their home.

"Let's go down fighting!" Dante yelled as he and Rita wildly blasted the swarms of the mantis creatures. Unfortunately, they had only gotten through fraction of the swarms until all their weapons were out of ammo. Dante and Rita stared at each other in fear as they lovingly kissed for the last time and hugged their baby daughter.

 **Wisconsin 6:50 PM**

Knowing that they couldn't stray too far from their home, but afraid that the mantis creatures could escape from their protective bubble, Rick's group had settled somewhere remote in Wisconsin as he continued working on the cure. Since his cruiser came equipped with a TV, Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln saw the destruction that the mantis creatures were causing in Royal Woods.

"Jesus Christ, grandpa! The entire town's infected!" Luna cried out in horror.

"Yeah, it was kind of crazy how that spread so fast. It wasn't intentional, but I've really outdone myself." Rick replied with a strange nonchalance.

"Outdone yourself, grandpa?!" Lincoln asked incredulously. "This is horrible!"

"Yeah, not only do they want to have sex with Luna, but now they want to eat her afterwards!" Lynn pointed out fearfully.

"Yeah, I know, but this serum should do the trick." Rick said reassuringly as he held out a vial of bright pink liquid. "It's fox, mixed with monkey, bear, rhino, lion, and a smidge of dinosaur. It should add up to normal humanity."

The trio looked at Rick with quizzical expressions, but Luna broke the awkward silence by saying, "That doesn't make any sense, grandpa. How can all that weird and dangerous DNA add up to normal humanity?"

"Uh, no offense, but I'm a Nobel Award-winning scientist, Pixie Cut. I think that I _**know**_ what I'm doing." Rick said confidently as he and the rest of the group boarded the space cruiser and activated the 4th Dimensional Drift Drive.

 **Royal Woods 8:00 PM**

When they arrived back home, Rick, Lincoln, Lynn, and Luna soaked in the destruction that was caused by the mantis creatures, with Luna looking the guiltiest.

Even though Rick had been extremely patient with her for causing this in the first place, Luna knew that it wouldn't last forever. She could just imagine how grounded she would be and how disappointed Luan would be every morning she woke up. She wanted to believe that this was all some sort of bad dream, but no dream could feel this horrible. She prayed that she'd at least be able to ask for forgiveness from her family once they used Rick's cure.

"Soak it in, kids. As soon as I pull this lever, it all goes back to normal." Rick said as he laid a comforting hand on Luna's shoulder. "It's going to be fine, Pixie Cut." Rick said reassuringly to the distressed Luna before he pulled the lever and unleashed a pink mist that flooded the town.

When the mist dissipated, all the Royal Woods residents were normal humans again, much to everyone's relief. Rick and the others erupted in cheering, relieved that this nightmare was over. It wasn't until Lynn opened her eyes that she stopped cheering and frantically grabbed Rick to push him towards the window.

"Grandpa Rick, something's wrong!" Lynn yelled, distressed, which made Luna and Lincoln open their eyes and gasp in apprehension.

While the cure had turned them into regular humans, they soon keeled over in pain and began to transform into something worse. They all convulsed as they turned into muscular monstrosities of differing combinations of the DNA Rick had used. Rick and the others gasped in shock at the results.

"Oh, this is bad." Rick deadpanned, understating the severity of the situation.

 **Loud House Roof 8:30 PM**

Not knowing what to do next, Rick and the others parked the cruiser on the roof of their house and watched the muscular monstrosities walk around the ruins of Royal Woods. Strangely, they had less cognition than they did as the mantis creatures, and seemed perfectly harmless despite their physiques. Nevertheless, Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln stared at the transformed Royal Woods residents in apprehension as Rick nonchalantly took a sip from his flask.

"Well, I really messed up this time. At least they're not in love with Luna anymore, right?" Rick said, somewhat nervously.

"Are you kidding me? This entire night has been a freaking nightmare! How could you be this irresponsible, grandpa?!" Luna asked incredulously, much to Rick's shock.

"Me, irresponsible?!" Rick asked, equally incredulous. "Okay, no more Mr. Nice Rick! All I asked for was a screwdriver, but you got sidetracked and made a serum without my consent even after I told you how dangerous it was because you were thinking with your lady parts!"

"Okay, it was selfish. I didn't listen to you and everyone except our family paid the price for it." Luna conceded, only for Rick to somehow get even angrier.

"Are you kidding me?! I wasn't going to show you this, but you've left me no choice!" Rick said angrily as he pressed a button that revealed a monitor in front of the driver's seat. When the image appeared, it showed black silhouettes of the members of their immediate family. However, only Rick, Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln's were illuminated with a green light. Aside from a red light for Luan, the remaining silhouettes were blank.

Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln stared at the image in apprehension, knowing that it only meant one thing. However, Luna was the one who broke the silence.

"Gramps, almost all of them are…"

Rick only gave a firm, but solemn nod, which instantly made Lynn and Lincoln break down in tears, which was quickly followed by Luna's own. Rick stared at this gut-wrenching display for a few moments before he intervened.

"It's okay. We're going to find Luan and save her." Rick said reassuringly, having calmed down enough to regularly talk to them.

"Grandpa, how are we…going…to fix…this?!" Luna wildly yelled in-between her sobs.

"I'll let you know when we find Luan." Rick said firmly as he locked in on her location and flew towards it, doing his best not to cry.

 **Royal Woods Park 8:32 PM**

After they arrived in the park, they found Luan by the playground, bleeding from the side of her stomach. While they were, all horrified to find Luan in such a state, Luna practically pried the cruiser's hatch and ran towards her injured sister while the rest of them sat in silence.

"Luan! Luan, please, talk to me!" Luna yelled desperately as he knelt by her side. Luan managed to open her eyes and smiled at the image of her sister and warmly laughed.

"Huh, better…late than never, right?" Luan said, almost breathlessly.

"Don't worry, Luan! We can fix you up! We can…!"

"No, it's…it's too late for me." Luan said with acceptance. Luna wasn't sure what she meant until she saw that her injury had a dismembered mantis pincer still inside.

"Come on, you can't go like this, Luan! You can't!" Luna begged, not even caring that she was crying heavily in front of her.

"Luna, you've always been my inspiration." Luan said sincerely, much to Luna's shock.

"What are you talking about?" Luna asked, sniffling.

"Whenever I was performing…whenever I was making people laugh…I thought back to that 4-year-old girl who watched Mick Swagger for the first time and…came back to be someone with a future." Luan said as she started to cry, remembering how Luna became who she was after that night.

"Yeah, it was unforgettable. I'm surprised that you remembered that." Luna said as she formed a warm smile on her face.

"Never let anyone make you feel like you're worthless, Luna. I…love…you." Luan managed to say before her eyes closed, much to Luna's shock. She ran back to the cruiser and saw that Luan's light had finally gone out, along with the sobs of Lynn, Lincoln, and Rick.

"It's all my fault! It's all my fault!" Luna cried as she fell to her knees, utterly crestfallen.

Miraculously, Rick managed to compose himself and took out four backpacks and a pair of goggles. He gave one to each of them and put the last one on for himself along with the goggles.

"Don't worry. I have an emergency contingency plan that should bring everything back to normal…relatively speaking. I-I-I just need to do some scouting." Rick said, somewhat hesitantly as he typed in his on-board computer.

 **Rick's Lab 9:00 AM**

After what had to be the worst night in Royal Woods history, the town had managed to avoid a genetic disaster after Rick turned them back into humans. Given the harsh circumstances, everyone was given a free day, which most of the Loud family took advantage of as they slept in. However, Rick, Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln were all smiling as they arrived back to Rick's lab, grateful that this nightmare was over.

"Wow, I really thought that Royal Woods was damaged beyond repair, but you did it, grandpa!" Luna praised.

"Yeah, he came up with that crazy, hare-brained solution like he always does!" Lynn added.

"Forget what I call myself. Grandpa Rick's the Man with the Plan!" Lincoln added, referring to his own nickname.

"Oh, stop it. I couldn't have done any of it without you, kids." Rick said sincerely as they went inside the lab, where Rick's Ionic Disruptor was still unfinished. "Now, would someone hand me a screwdriver?"

Smiling happily, Luna provided him with a red screwdriver, much to the scientist's joy. "Thank you very much, Pixie Cut." Rick said as he began to screw in the first missing screw. "And one screw turn, and two screw turns, and…"

Suddenly, Rick's Ionic Disruptor exploded, which instantly killed Rick, Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln; their blood smeared the walls of Rick's lab as their lifeless bodies fell.

Strangely, a green portal opened with the real Rick, Luna, Lynn and Lincoln walking out of it and wearing the backpacks to the gristly demise of their alternate dimensional counterparts.

"Welcome to Dimension 6000-L, kids." Rick said bluntly as the trio took in the carnage of their dead selves.

"Oh, my god! Is that us?!" Luna yelled incredulously.

"We're dead! Actually, dead!" Lynn added similarly.

"What's going on here, grandpa?!" Lincoln said similarly.

The trio had been freaking out for a few moments as Rick attempted to calm them down. When his usual method didn't work, he resorted to slapping them all, which made them stop screaming.

"It's fine, everything is fine, kids! Remember how I told you that there's an infinite number of realities?" Rick asked, which made them all sadly nod. He then sighed deeply and said, "Well, in enough of those, I got lucky and managed to turn everything back to normal before everyone in our family died. The problem was I also had to find a reality in which all four of us happened to die around this time. Now, we just ditch the bodies and slip into our doppelganger's lives." Rick explained as the trio fell to their knees in shock.

"This is insane." Lynn said, understating the severity of this situation.

"I don't know how to feel about this." Lincoln said similarly.

"Gramps, what about the reality we left behind?!" Luna asked fearfully.

Suddenly, Rick embraced them all in a much-needed hug and said, "Our Royal Woods was beyond screwed because of me. This way we all get a second chance and everything stays the same."

"But, grandpa…" they all said, utterly shaken by the events.

"Trust me, it's going to be fine. Now, let's ditch the bodies before their family wakes up. We only get like three or four more of these, tops." Rick said reassuringly as he grabbed his dead counterpart's body.

Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln stared at their dead selves in utter shock and horror as Rick finished digging their graves in their backyard. He handed them each a shovel to properly bury them with a remorseful expression, which they all reluctantly took.

After they buried their bodies, Rick, Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln all entered the house, with the latter three having shocked expressions. When the explosion occurred, it had stirred their dead counterparts' family awake and so, they walked into the regular chaos of a typical morning in the Loud house.

While Rick was adjusting to the situation better than them, he still had an uneasy expression as he grabbed a can of beer and sat on the, surprisingly vacant, couch. While Lynn and Lincoln followed him, and sat down, Luna had run into this dimension's Luan, who was telling some joke. Luna could hardly hear her, but when she saw her laugh like she always did, Luna embraced her in a warm hug and joined the others on the couch, leaving a bewildered Luan in her wake.

Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln stared straight ahead, unaware of anything going on in their surroundings. They had no idea how they were going to adjust to this, but at least they had each other and Rick. The only thing that they could do now was hold hands, but they welcomed Rick's hand as well.

 **And now, time to recap.**

 **The survivors: yeah, you knew that Luna, Lincoln, and Rick were guaranteed to survive if you watched the canon episode and read this chapter's title, but I chose Lynn to survive because I didn't have it in me to sacrifice her as well. I was tempted to save Leni and Lily as well, but I felt it to be more merciful if they didn't have to live with replacing their dead counterparts.**

 **Killing almost everyone: yeah, this was mostly a mercy thing because the fates of Morty's family would've meant a life of endless killing for any of the family members left behind and to show that even though most of them put up a decent fight, they aren't entirely prepared for Rick's more insane adventures.**

 **Changing the Cronenburgs: yeah, this was mainly because I found their designs disgusting and they would have been even harder to describe.**

 **Containing the virus: yeah, this was mainly because having an entire planet of monsters would have been too cruel and Rick would've been smart enough to make something that could contain a virus, especially one that he made.**

 **To be perfectly honest, this chapter was very hard for me to write, and not only because of time. It really was hard for me to write how they all died, but I'm glad that I won't have to write a chapter that depressing until "The Wedding Squanchers".**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.**

 **Next time—Chapter 7: A Day with Lily.**


	7. A Day with Lily

**AN: Hello again, everyone. I would like to thank you all for your support in Rick and the Louds and would like to clarify that this story won't be as dark as it was during the last chapter and there will be some in-universe explanations for it, probably spaced out over the next few chapters. However, there will be at least one explanation in this chapter.**

 **Also, I would like to apologize for how long this chapter took, but it was mostly original and I'm still in college, so updates won't always be consistent, but I will do my best not to have any huge delays.**

 **Now then, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 7: A Day with Lily

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 9:00 AM**

It had been about a month since the Love Potion Incident, with only Rick, Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln having any knowledge of the truth. Rick had offered to wipe their memories with the Amnesia Ray, but they had voted against it. They didn't want to live in blissful ignorance if it meant forgetting that this wasn't their real lives, so Rick respected their wishes.

They had done their best to adapt to their new situation, even if it meant acting like nothing happened to their alternate dimensional siblings. Thankfully, they were recovering through mutual support and Rick's occasional intervention.

As such, they all woke up to a typical Sunday morning in the Loud House. Lincoln, Luna, and Lynn woke up an entire half hour before the rest of the family did, but stayed in their rooms until the others woke up. It was still better than having only one hour of sleep like they had before.

Meanwhile, Rick wandered in on Dante and Rita making breakfast, but he noticed that most of the kids had crestfallen expressions as they waited in the living room in their pajamas.

"Hey, what's going on, kids?" Rick asked.

"Oh, nothing grandpa. It's just that time of the month again." Lucy replied, which made Rick form an awkward expression.

"Oh, geez. Uh…listen, Sugar Bat…what your body's doing is…"

"It's not that, grandpa!" the elder Loud sisters exclaimed, blushing brightly.

"So, then…. oh, wait. It's her again, isn't it?" Rick inferred, referring to their monthly visit to Rita's sister, Ruth.

"Yeah, it's time to see Aunt Ruth again." Lincoln said resignedly.

It was true; their visits to see their Aunt Ruth were utterly unpleasant with her cat slideshows, expired food, and disgusting chores they had to do around her house. While Rick had managed to avoid it due to his age, he still felt bad that he couldn't really help his grandchildren. At least he had some solace in knowing that at least one version of her was out of the picture.

"I don't mind going to her house." Lana said with a small smile.

"That's because you like anything disgusting!" Lola pointed out, which only made Lana shrug in indifference.

"Lily likes it too!" Lana pointed out, which only made Lily giggle.

"Yeah, but she isn't allowed to visit there anymore. Aunt Ruth hates her around her cats." Lori stated and then formed a jealous expression. "She's a lucky baby."

"Oh, yeah. Dante takes care of her when you guys are out, right?" Rick asked.

"Not this time, Rick!" Rita declared as she emerged from the kitchen with a stern expression. "This time, she's all yours!"

"Wait, what?!" Rick asked incredulously, unaware that the most of his grandchildren were equally shocked.

"Uh, what, honey?" Dante asked, nervously as he came to join her.

"You heard me! After the Meeseeks incident, curing an inexplicable genetic apocalypse, and testing out one of those sickness-inducing paintballs on me, he's had this coming!" Rita said tersely.

"Well, I-I wouldn't want my dad to have to take care of our youngest daughter. He once chained me to the floor when I was teething!" Dante cried desperately, unaware of Rick's annoyed expression.

"Yeah, t-t-that never happened. If you don't want to go to your sister-in-law's house, just say so, son." Rick bluntly said, which made Dante form a sheepish expression when Rita angrily looked at him.

"In any case, it's been a long time since we've visited Ruthie as a family!" Rita said through a somewhat fake smile to Dante.

Rick pinched the ridge of his nose and said, "Okay, I'll take care of Lily, if only so that I can help at least one of my grandkids today."

"Ooh, you can help me!" most of the Loud siblings begged, only for Rita to turn it down.

"Nice try, but we're all going to see her!" Rita said tersely, much to their displeasure.

"Humph, lightweights." Lana mocked.

 **Rick's Lab 9:30 AM**

After the rest of the family left, Rick and Lily were left to their own devices. While Rick had been around enough to know how to take care of babies, he wasn't sure what to do now that he was alone with Lily. Granted, he had a very good track record when he briefly came back to visit during each of his grandchildren's births, before moving in when Lucy was born, but the best he could do for Lily was act as normal as he could.

Still, for Rick, that didn't excuse any reason for him to be out of his lab. Rita had provided him with Lily's baby bag and instructions, but the elderly scientist was confident that Lily wouldn't be any trouble. After all, how dangerous could something so innocent be?

"Aw, this is the life, Baby Doll. Just _**hanging**_ out with your grandpa, huh?" Rick said affectionately to Lily, safe in a baby bundle he had strapped to his chest, as he started to build a new gadget on his workbench.

Lily merely cooed cutely before she said, "Uh-huh."

"Man, I'm really going to miss this when you can actually talk to me." Rick said bittersweetly.

Lily merely cooed again.

As Rick enjoyed this moment with his youngest granddaughter, he realized that he couldn't keep her cooped up like this. Eventually, she'd start to get fussy or bored, and anything in his lab was a safety hazard. He tapped his chin in thought and then asked, "Do you want to go to the park?"

Lily merely nodded.

 **Royal Woods Park 9:47 AM**

After Rick got Lily's baby supplies, he pushed her in her pink stroller around the park, which she seemed to enjoy. He bid a few hellos to some of the Royal Woods residents, which they returned somewhat awkwardly. Given Rick's reputation in their community, most of them hadn't even considered that he'd ever be acting so…normal.

Rick stopped by the playground and placed Lily in the sandbox while he waited on a nearby bench. Rick affectionately waved to her as she innocently continued to play, which made Rick form a warm smile.

"Oh, is the one in the sandbox, yours?" a woman asked to an oblivious Rick.

"Well, sort of. She's one of my granddaughters." Rick replied as he briefly turned his head towards her, and formed a small blush.

The woman was in her early 30s with mid-length black hair, green eyes, fair skin, and a generous figure. She wore a knee-length, dark yellow dress with a white belt, white shoes, and indigo earrings.

"The name's Rose Kane. What's yours?" Rose asked sultrily.

"Uh, Rick Sanchez." Rick replied, somewhat nervously.

"You want to…get out of here?" Rose suggested as she rubbed her hand on Rick's thigh.

"W-W-Wait, what about the kids?" Rick asked as he started to chuckle perversely.

"Don't worry. You won't have to worry about your grandchildren anymore, Rick." Rose said as she suddenly pulled out a laser cannon and aimed it at Rick's head. "In the name of the Galactic Federation, you're under arrest!" Rose declared, which startled the rest of the onlookers who simply took their kids and ran away as fast as they could.

"You're seriously doing this, now?" Rick asked, unfazed by her sudden actions.

"Yes! After everything you've done in the name of your own laws…!"

"I meant in front of my youngest granddaughter!" Rick angrily pointed out. "What the hell are you thinking; doing this in front of a baby?!"

"That's not my concern! You'll be extradited to the nearest Federation planet and locked away, rebellious scum!" Rose yelled hatefully, only for Rick to nonchalantly blast her with his portal gun, which turned her into a portal, instantly killing her.

"Ugh, I hate it when it's the hot ones." Rick deadpanned as he scooped up Lily, took the baby supplies, and walked into the portal.

 **Dimension B-842 9:50 AM**

When Rick and Lily emerged from the portal, they found themselves in a world apparently made of candy. The ground appeared to be marzipan, a nearby lake was filled with liquid chocolate, the trees were made of peppermint candy canes, and the clouds were varying shades of blue and pink cotton candy.

"You're going to love this place, Baby Doll. I took your sisters and Lincoln to this place all the time when they were your age." Rick said sincerely as he put Lily in the stroller once again.

With that, Rick and Lily wandered around the candy world, only for Lily's stomach to start growling.

"Okay, let's get you some milk, Lily." Rick said as he rummaged around Rita's baby bag and found her bottle.

With that, Rick gently gave Lily her bottle and watched his infant granddaughter drink her milk as he continued to walk around with her inside the stroller.

"You are so adorable. I'm really glad you and the others didn't inherit most of my genes." Rick said sincerely, referring to his other grandchildren.

Suddenly, Lily took her bottle out of her mouth and started to yawn. Knowing what this meant, Rick retrieved her half-finished bottle and covered Lily with her lilac blanket. Within moments, the baby girl had fallen asleep.

"I will say this about Rita; she made the right call when she had you." Rick said affectionately as he stopped nearby a bench made from cookies and sat down to watch his slumbering granddaughter. Although, his own stomach grumbled, so he nonchalantly took a piece of the cookie bench and started to eat it.

"Huh, if only they had a milk fountain." Rick quipped with a mouthful of cookie.

Suddenly, a red, goblin-like creature emerged from the peppermint trees and landed in front of Rick and the slumbering Lily. The goblin-like creature had pointed ears, brown eyes, short, black hair, and a set of fangs. He wore an orange sweater vest, blue shorts, and poorly-tailored black shoes.

"Greetings traveler of Earth Dimension 0006-L! The name's Thatch and you're trespassing in this dimension!" Thatch declared with a soft, French accent.

"And I should care, why? I've been coming here for like, 17 years and there's never really been a big problem." Rick replied smugly.

"Is that a crack at my height?!" Thatch angrily asked, referring to how he didn't even come up to Rick's knees.

"No, but you should leave now. My granddaughter's sleeping." Rick replied, somewhat tersely.

"I'm not going to leave! This dimension's through with your interference once and for all!" Thatch declared angrily.

"You and what army, Rumpelstiltskin?" Rick mocked, only for several muscular, taller goblin-like creatures to surround him, each one in a blue police officer's uniform, carrying a chocolate shotgun.

"This army, Rick Sanchez." Thatch said as he took out a chocolate badge.

 **Dimension B-842 Candy Castle 10:25 AM**

After he'd been forcibly captured, Rick and Lily were escorted by the goblin police force to the Candy Castle on a mountain made of marzipan inside a cookie police van with a marzipan barred window. The officers that weren't in the van followed close-by on cookie motorcycles. The Candy Castle resembled a gingerbread house with a hot chocolate moat surrounding it and a candy cane drawbridge.

"Oh, this is not how I thought how the day would go. Who would've guessed that they'd be so anal about who goes to this dimension after all this time?" Rick lamented to himself.

While they had confiscated all his gadgets, including the portal gun, they were at least considerate enough to not intentionally wake up his slumbering granddaughter. However, Rick had to deal with Thatch's mocking on the way inside to face judgement.

"Ooh, not so tough now, are you? When our new king sentences you, you'll be lucky if you come back home alive." Thatch mocked, much to Rick's chagrin.

"Yeah, laugh it up, Candy Goblin. You're not anything I haven't dealt with before." Rick deadpanned.

"Maybe, but what about your granddaughter?" Thatch said threateningly, which made Rick slide his arms through the marzipan bars of the van and forcibly choke Thatch and lift him from his motorcycle.

"Listen to me, goblin sack of crap! If you or whoever's in charge here hurts my granddaughter in any way…even tries to hurt a hair on her perfect head…I will hunt you down and follow you to your house. Then, I'll beat you into a coma and when you wake up, I'll do it again! And again, and again, and again! Do I make myself clear?!" Rick angrily threatened, which made Thatch instantly whimper in fear.

"Yes." Thatch meekly whispered as Rick repeatedly slammed his head into the side of the cookie van until he let go of his grip, which unintentionally sent Thatch into the boiling hot chocolate moat. Rick winced as he heard him slowly boil to death.

"Oh, that sucks. Now I can't beat him into a coma." Rick said nonchalantly to himself as he took a swig from his thankfully non-confiscated flask.

 **Dimension B-842 Candy Castle Throne Room 10:26 AM**

With that out of the way, Rick and the slumbering Lily were escorted out of the van with Rick wearing jawbreaker handcuffs that surrounded his hands. They decided it to be an extra security measure since Thatch's untimely demise, not that they were sad that he was dead. Rick was forced to kneel before the obscure ruler of this dimension and watch Lily be carried by one of the goblin officers.

"Presenting our royal majesty!" one of the goblin officers said as the ruler swiveled his chair to face Rick and Lily. Rick gasped when he saw who it was.

It appeared to be a six-year-old boy with short blonde hair, fair skin, and missing his canine teeth. He wore a white long-sleeved t-shirt tucked into his dark gray pants, supported by a brown belt, a pink scarf, brown boots and matching brown gloves. He also wore a yellow crown with an emerald in it. This was Lexx Loud.

"Well, well, well, it's quite the surprise to find you here, grandpa." Lexx said snidely, which only caused Rick to stare at him angrily.

"Uh, pretty sure that I'm not your grandpa, okay, dude? I think you have me confused with another Rick." Rick clarified halfheartedly.

"You think that I'm that stupid, grandpa? I've been here for six months after you ditched me!" Lexx yelled, somewhat hurtfully.

"I keep telling you I'm not your Rick!" Rick replied angrily.

"Enough of your lies! Take him to the dungeon!" Lexx commanded.

With that, the officers gladly began to escort Rick to the dungeon, except for the one with the slumbering Lily.

"What should we do with the child, your majesty?" the officer asked.

"Bring him to the nursery. Leon will be happy here." Lexx commanded, much to Rick's chagrin.

"I keep telling you, we're not…!" Rick yelled back, only for an officer to knock him out with a candy cane club.

 **Dimension B-842 Candy Castle Dungeon 12:12 PM**

As soon as he woke up, Rick found himself face-first in a chocolate floor, surrounded by candy cane bars. Knowing that Lily was somewhere else, Rick frantically moved his jawbreaker-covered hands alongside the bars, trying to get someone's attention.

"Hey, let me out of here! I need to find Lily!" Rick yelled desperately, to no avail. After a few moments of futile efforts, Rick frowned and slumped onto the chocolate floor.

"Hey, don't bother. We've already tried that." A masculine voice said from a neighboring cage.

Rick turned to the voice and saw an eight-year-old boy with short, black hair that obscured his eyes and pale, chalk-white skin. He wore a black t-shirt over a white, black striped long-sleeves shirt, black jeans, and checkerboard shoes. This was Lars Loud.

The other one inside his cell was identical to Lexx with short blond hair, fair skin, and missing canine. However, he wore a red baseball cap facing backwards, white sneakers with blue stripes, and blue overalls without an undershirt. This was Leif Loud.

"Wait, are guys related to the little brat that locked us in here?" Rick asked, unfazed by their uncanny resemblance to his actual grandchildren.

"Yeah. I'm Lars, this is Leif. We've been trapped here for…how long?" Lars asked Leif, who had a piece of candy chalk in his hands.

"About forty-three days." Leif replied, gesturing to the tally marks he made on the back wall of the cell.

"Where's everyone else?" Rick asked, concerned.

"What are you talking about? It's always been the five of us; Leon and Levi are safe back home, though." Lars replied bluntly.

It was then that Rick put together the pieces of the puzzle. Apparently, from their dimension, their parents never had Lincoln or any of the older ones in any form. While it was rare for the Council to deny a Rick any variation of Morty, their Rick must've been denied the chance for some reason. Although, why hadn't their Rick ditched his Leon or Levi?

"Okay, did your Rick ever show you alternate Ricks?" Rick asked.

"A few times, but he was pretty distant with us; Lexx didn't even go with us on those missions. My guess is you're from a different dimension, right?" Lars asked, which Rick replied with a silent nod.

"What's it like over there? Our Rick couldn't have cared less if one of us had been captured." Leif remarked, somewhat sadly.

"Hey, I don't know what a different me did to you or why he ditched you guys here, but I'm willing to help you if you can help me." Rick pleaded sincerely.

Lars and Leif looked at each other uncertainly. While Rick's request sounded genuine, could they be certain that this wouldn't come back to haunt them? Their Rick was different from this one and genuinely wanted to find his granddaughter. But what if it was all an act so that he could ditch them like their Rick did? Still, their escape plans hadn't panned out since Lexx took over and their family was probably worried sick about them. Lars and Leif shared a silent nod before they turned to face Rick.

"Okay, we're in." Lars and Leif said simultaneously.

 **Dimension B-842 Candy Castle Nursery 12:30 PM**

Without that troublesome Rick, Lexx ventured off to see his slumbering sibling. While he had no idea why his Rick had returned, he wasn't interested in leaving a world where he was finally a true king.

Granted, he hadn't really earned it after accidentally consuming the previous ruler, King Gumdrop, but it was customary by this dimension's law. After all, this dimension was thriving under his rule…or so he thought. Given his age, he was too naïve to really know how to rule a kingdom.

There were several riots in the streets, constant property damage, and several thwarted assassination attempts; all of which were due to his ineptitude. First it was the tax increase, then forcing the townspeople to erect a statue of his likeness, and lastly, sending his army to fight a war on a neighboring pancake kingdom…which ended with no casualties for the neighboring kingdom.

Still, Lexx was oblivious to it all as he peered his head into Lily's crib and smiled fondly.

"Oh, Leon. I have no idea why Rick brought you back to me, but I'm so happy to see you again. At least _**you**_ won't rebel against me, unlike our two meddling brothers." Lexx whispered softly.

Lily remained oblivious as she continued to sleep.

"It's odd. Have we really been gone for so long? You look a little different." Lexx said to himself as he removed his head from the crib.

Lily then unconsciously began to suck her thumb, which made Lexx smile happily.

"Oh, what am I saying? You're the only baby that could be this cute." Lexx said reassuringly to himself as he left the nursery, smiling brightly.

 **Dimension B-842 Candy Castle Dungeon 1:00 PM**

Now that they all knew the plan, it was time to act. Rick gave a sly wink to Lars and Leif, which they returned, or in Lars' case, close enough. With that, the trio began to lick away at Rick's jawbreaker handcuffs until they became weak enough for the old man to break free from. With his newly freed hands, Lars and Leif started to hit each other, although they made it clear not to really hurt each other.

"You're such a messy butt-wipe, Leif!" Lars yelled as loudly as he could.

"Better that than a depressed Goth poser, Lars!" Leif yelled back.

"Both of you idiots better shut up! I totally understand why the other me ditched you here!" Rick yelled loudly as he slipped his hands through the bars and started to harmlessly punch them.

Soon enough, one of the scrawnier goblin officers came in and unlocked Lars and Leif's cage to end this 'riot'.

"Okay, break it up you three!" the officer said, only for Lars and Leif to gang up on him and take his keys. As Lars continued to beat him up, Leif quickly handed the keys to Rick so that he could escape, before Leif rejoined Lars.

Rick smiled proudly as he ran to his cage door and unlocked it. When he went inside Lars and Leif's cage, the officer was already knocked out from their beating. Rick embraced his two alternate grandsons and lovingly said, "No matter the reality, I love you kids!"

Lars and Leif smiled from this display of affection and returned his embrace before they noticed the unconscious officer's candy club and smiled mischievously.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Lars asked Leif.

"Definitely. Let's fight our way out of here!" Leif replied excitedly.

Before either of them could take the club, Rick suddenly ended the embrace and took it for himself. "No way, kids. Leave the fighting to me for now, okay?" Rick requested, which made Lars and Leif reluctantly nod.

"Fine, but we get the next one." Leif complained childishly.

"Fair enough, Leif." Rick said casually.

 **Dimension B-842 Candy Castle Throne Room 1:05 PM**

As Lexx sat on his throne, he'd gone over his kingly duties for the day.

"Hmm, let's see…rejected plans for a library renovation, cancelled school, increased demands for more statues…" Lexx trailed off, only for one of his officers to rush towards him.

"My liege, something terrible has happened! The prisoners have escaped!" the officer exclaimed fearfully.

"What?! Why are you just standing here, goblin oaf?!" Lexx yelled incredulously. "Go re-arrest them!"

"But sire, we need to get you to safety! There have already been so many attempts on your…!"

"Leave me, you fool! Just go capture them!" Lexx yelled commandingly, which the officer reluctantly obeyed.

As soon as he was out of the way, Lexx pinched the ridge of his nose and said, "Ugh, idiots. All of them."

 **Dimension B-842 Candy Castle 1:10 PM**

Meanwhile, Rick, Lars, and Leif were battling the numerous officers that Lexx had at his disposal. While Lars and Leif had candy clubs, Rick had gotten one of the chocolate shotguns and crippled any of the officers in his way. While Rick was considerably pissed off, he didn't want to kill someone in front of another Rick's younger grandchildren.

"Okay, how many of these guys are here?!" Leif asked incredulously as he kicked some of the fallen officers.

"I'm not sure. Levi could've made an educated guess, at least." Lars replied as he continued to club officers.

"It doesn't matter. We need to get out of here and get you kids home!" Rick yelled as he blew off an officer's right leg.

With a mighty yell, the trio continued their assault on the officers, only for the officers to suddenly abandon their task and head for the door. While it seemed that they were running away to Lars and Leif, Rick had been around long enough to know what was really going on.

"Trust me, kids. This is far from over." Rick said as he reloaded his shotgun with a fallen officer's ammo.

"What's the worst thing that could happen?" Leif innocently asked, only for a loud crash to emanate from wherever the officers were.

"You had to say something." Rick and Lars said sarcastically.

With that, the trio ran towards where the guards were and found them attempting to seal off the candy cane drawbridge from some angry, average-looking Candy Goblins, each one in rags and carrying a weapon.

"Let us in!" one of them yelled angrily.

"The king must die!" another added similarly.

"He's an outsider from another dimension!" another declared hatefully.

"Uh, what should we do, Rick?" Lars hesitantly asked, tempted to let them fight amongst themselves.

"Okay, as much as I'd like to let them kill each other, we can't let them kill your brother." Rick said, somewhat reluctantly.

"But, why? He locked us in a cage for forty-three days!" Lars angrily pointed out.

"True, but he's still family and if there's one thing I've learned after all these years, it's to do anything for them." Rick said stoically.

"He's right. Besides, it'd be pretty lonely without him in my room." Leif admitted.

"Sigh. We'll save him." Lars relented.

"I guess your Rick wasn't a total jerk, huh?" Rick said comfortingly as he gave the boys a friendly hair tousle.

With that, the trio joined the officers in sealing up the door, only for one of the townsfolk to stab a candy cane pitchfork with sharpened tips through the gingerbread door, which went clean through one of the officers, mere inches away from Leif.

With the door weakened, the goblin townsfolk began to claw their way through, killing any officers they could get their hands on. Knowing that this would end badly, Rick quickly ditched his weapon and embraced Lars and Leif before running to a safe distance as the door finally collapsed.

When the dust cleared, most of the officers were dead, but the ones remaining put up a decent fight with their superior weaponry. Soon enough, the officers were overwhelmed by the sheer numbers while the surviving townsfolk grabbed their weapons and started to charge at the trio.

"Ugh, why is never simple?" Rick lamented as he ran with the boys underneath his arms.

"Why aren't we fighting back?!" Leif asked defiantly.

"It's way too dangerous right now! We've got to find some of the weapons these Candy Goblin pricks confiscated from me!" Rick explained as he ran down a nearby corridor.

"Rick, this castle is massive. I'm not as smart as Levi, but even I know that we're not going to find…" Lars stated, only for Rick to interrupt him as they stood before a large and conveniently empty, safe.

"Found them, boys!" Rick declared as he grabbed his portal gun and Freeze Ray, but not before he set Lars and Leif down. He would've grabbed his other weapons, but he didn't have enough time before the townsfolk charged at them.

"Okay, would be a lot easier to kill them, but…" Rick trailed off as he activated his Freeze Ray and blasted the angry mob, which safely encapsulated them in ice. Lars and Leif stared in amazement from this display.

"Whoa. That is totally wicked." Lars praised, forming a small smile.

"Are they going to be okay?" Leif asked, somewhat concerned for them.

"Don't worry, boys. They'll thaw out…eventually." Rick deadpanned as he grabbed his remaining weapons and fired his portal gun on a nearby door.

"We're going home, already?" Lars asked, confused.

"Nah, this is just for convenience. I'm pretty sure that most of the officers are dead or crippled, though." Rick explained as the trio went into the portal.

 **Dimension B-842 Candy Castle Throne Room 1:25 PM**

As Lexx sat in his throne, unaware of the situation, he gasped in shock when Rick, Lars, and Leif emerged from a portal at the foot of the small stairs to his throne.

"Playtime's over, Lexx." Leif said seriously.

"No, it isn't! I'll have the officers bind you in jawbreaker chains for this, traitors!" Lexx angrily declared as he rapidly waved his golden officer's bell to signal the others. Lexx waited for a few moments until his expression dropped. "What the?! Where is everyone?!" Lexx yelled incredulously.

"Well, most of them are crippled or dead." Lars explained bluntly.

"You killed them?!" Lexx yelled furiously.

"No, we just crippled them. The townsfolk did most of the killing, though." Rick admitted nonchalantly.

"Whatever! I have no idea why you came back, grandpa, but I'm not going down without a fight!" Lexx declared as he pulled out an actual sword from behind his throne. Although, the sword had been made for his size, so it wasn't much of a threat. Knowing this, Rick nonchalantly aimed his Freeze Ray at him.

"Do you want to become a human popsicle, dude? I'm giving you mercy because you look like one of my granddaughters." Rick bargained, hoping that it would be enough to intimidate Lexx. However, the young boy stared at him defiantly and remained undeterred. Just when it appeared that Rick would be forced to freeze him, they heard Lily crying, which instantly caused them both to drop their weapons.

 **Dimension B-842 Candy Castle Nursery 1:30 PM**

When the group arrived in the nursery, they all knew that Lily needed a diaper change. Given Rick's experience with them, he changed her diaper on a nearby table, with the confiscated baby supplies that were stored within the nursery.

"That's my girl. Better out than in." Rick said sweetly as he finished changing her. Lily cooed cutely as she grabbed Rick's hand and hugged it, much to the elderly scientist's joy.

"Huh. So, she isn't our brother and he's not our grandpa." Lexx remarked, somewhat sadly.

"Yeah, it kind of stinks, and not just because of what Lily did in her diaper." Leif said, trying to lighten the mood for his younger twin brother.

"Still, at least we have a chance to go home, now. The rest of our family is probably worried about us." Lars said as he laid a comforting hand on Lexx's back.

Lexx sighed deeply before he sincerely said, "Guys, I'm so sorry about all of this. I got power-hungry because I was hurting too much when our Rick left us here. I completely forgot about your feelings and I shouldn't have done that."

Strangely, rather than some justified anger for putting them through that, Lars and Leif smiled at their younger brother.

"Hey, we're brothers. We just have to move on from this, you know." Leif said reassuringly.

"It's true. This Rick taught us that." Lars said sincerely, which made Rick smile as he put Lily back in her stroller.

"Besides, all things considered, you could've been a lot worse." Rick admitted as he opened a small latch of the back of his portal gun and scanned the trio. "Okay, Dimension L-050. This shouldn't take long." Rick said as he inputted the dimension in his portal gun and made a portal on the back wall of the nursery.

With that, the entire group walked into the portal, with Lars, Leif, and Lexx having big smiles knowing that they could finally go back home.

 **Dimension L-050's Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 1:35 PM**

Soon enough, they arrived in living room of the alternate Loud House. Rick looked around, glad that it at least looked the same. Suddenly, the alternate Rita and Dante appeared, each one wearing the other's clothes, only with them tailored to their genders.

"Lars, Leif, Lexx, you're home!" Dimension L-050 Rita declared happily as she embraced her sons.

"We never thought we'd see you again!" Dimension L-050 Dante added, crying happily as he joined in the hug.

"We missed you guys." The boys said sincerely, doing their best to fight back tears.

"Wait, who are you?" Dimension L-050 Rita asked, confused by Rick's presence.

"He's an alternate Rick, honey. I used to see them all the time when I was growing up." Dimension L-050 Dante explained, only for a loud belch to come from the kitchen.

"Hey, a-a-are we [burp] out of [burp] beer? I-I told you guys to get some more since I'm drowning my [burp] sorrows." Dimension L-050 Rick said rudely as he drunkenly sauntered into the living room from the kitchen. Unlike Rick, he wore a teal lab coat, a white undershirt, black pants, and brown shoes.

"So, this is the guy, huh?" Rick said threateningly, only for the alternate Rick to be seemingly unaware of his presence.

"Huh, who are you? When'd we get a [burp] mirror in the living room? Just let me grieve in peace." Dimension L-050 Rick drunkenly said as he collapsed on the floor.

"He drank a lot more after you guys went missing. He thought you were dead." Dimension L-050 Dante explained.

"So, he didn't just abandon them/us?" the group said simultaneously.

"Of course, not. Our Rick has a good heart; he just has a tough armor to crack." Dimension L-050 Rita admitted, albeit reluctantly.

"Well, I should get out of your hair. I've got my own reality to come back to." Rick said as he created a portal back to his adopted dimension.

"Well, you're always welcome here, alternate dad." Dimension L-050 Dante said sincerely, which Rick returned with a loving hair tousle.

"No matter the reality, I love you, son." Rick said as he and Lily entered the portal, leaving the alternate reality behind.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor 6:00 PM**

Apparently, there was a large time difference between dimensions since as Rick and Lily left the portal into their living room, it was already sundown. Rick and Lily arrived just in time to see their family return from their visit to their Aunt Ruth's house.

"Whew, wasn't that the greatest, kids?!" Rita yelled excitedly, oblivious to her children's bored, unamused expressions as they all went back to their own rooms, glad that their nightmare was over.

"The toe…why did she have to show me…that extra toe?" Dante asked himself, hilariously disturbed by the visit.

Rita remained oblivious as she watched her husband walk back to their room, but turned to see Rick and Lily, although Lily seemed to be getting sleepy.

"Well, how was your day with Lily, Rick? Did she give you any trouble?" Rita asked with rare concern.

"Hey, trust me; this kid was the _**least**_ trouble I've had today." Rick admitted as he handed back Rita's baby supplies to her and went upstairs to put Lily to bed.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor 6:02 PM**

With that, Rick took the sleepy Lily into hers and Lisa's room, where the latter was already wearing her pajamas and in her bed.

"So, how was your day, Grandpa Rick?" Lisa asked, unenthused from their visit to Aunt Ruth's.

"Well, Little Poindexter, I pretty much had the best day with Baby Doll." Rick admitted as he gently laid Lily in her crib, where the old man saw her eyelids getting heavier.

"That's good to know. I wish you could've been there, though." Lisa admitted as she yawned, happy that Lily had some fun today. "Aunt Ruth's visits take a lot out of us, so we're all going to bed early."

"Just get your eight hours this time, Lisa. You should stop doing late-night equations." Rick said concernedly, only to turn his head when he saw Lisa sound asleep, which brought a smile to the old man's face. He then turned to the nearly-asleep Lily and said, "I love you, Lily. I really hope you never say a real word."

With that, Rick turned off the light in their room and left, unaware that Lily was awake for a few more moments and sweetly whispered, "Grandpa."

 **Galactic Federation Asteroid 456-X Base (Unknown Time)**

On an asteroid base, somewhere in the Milky Way Galaxy, an unknown figure sat in their chair and saw an image of Rose on a large computer monitor, with her new status: deceased. The unknown figure shouted angrily that the plan had failed; Rick Sanchez was still at large, along with all his rebellious friends. Knowing that this only meant one thing, the unknown figure reluctantly contacted their last resort.

" _Agent Kane has been disposed of. Attempting to do this quickly is not a viable option anymore. You know what you need to do."_ The unknown figure commanded in a synthesized, male Russian voice to hide their real one.

" _I'm on it, boss. Soon enough, Rick and the other rebels will be delivered on a silver platter. I've already gotten close to one of his granddaughters."_ A feminine voice said.

" _Don't fail me, Plan C. Don't forget, Plan A is still involved in this case. Good luck, Agent Gueterman."_ The unknown figure said as they ended the call and formed a small smile on their lips.

 **AN: And now, time to recap.**

 **Including some of the gender-bent Loud siblings: yeah, aside from Lincoln's alternate brothers acting like total jerks to him for most of that episode, I loved how a** _ **Rick and Morty**_ **aspect made it into** _ **The Loud House**_ **and it was a big factor in me writing this story. I will say this much; this won't be the last time I include this aspect, but probably not all at once.**

 **Writing this chapter: yeah, it was mostly because of how dark the last one was and I wanted to show Rick's more compassionate side.**

 **The unknown figure and Plan A: yeah, that's going to be a big plot-point later, but I'm not saying anything about either of them!**

 **Plan C: yeah, you know who I'm talking about.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.**

 **Next time—Chapter 8: Rixty Minutes.**


	8. Rixty Minutes

**AN: Hello again, everyone! I would like to thank you all once again for your support in Rick and the Louds. I'm excited for this chapter because the next one is going to be one of my favorites! Also, I would like to mention again that there will be delays since I'm attending college, but I'll do my best not to have any huge ones.**

 **Now, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 8: Rixty Minutes

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 9:00 AM**

It was a rare, quiet moment in the Loud house as the entire family watched television on the couch, minus the ones who had to stand or sit on the carpet after the couch was filled. Except for Rick, everyone's eyes were glued to the screen as they watched the season finale of _The Dream Boat_.

" _And now, the moment we've been waiting for…who will Karen choose to be her first mate?"_ the male announcer said as Karen looked at her two remaining candidates, Bryant and Bronson.

" _Bronson…"_ Karen trailed off as the entire family watched in anticipation.

"Oh, no! No way!" Leni, Lynn, Lincoln, Luna, Lisa, and Rita said simultaneously, shocked by Karen's apparent choice. Conversely, Lori, Luan, Lola, Lana, Lucy, and Dante smiled brightly from Karen's choice.

"… _get off this ship. I choose Bryant!"_ Karen finished as she embraced Bryant while the security guards threw Bronson overboard.

With that, Leni, Lynn, Lincoln, Luna, Lisa, and Rita erupted in cheering while the others, minus Rick who was hugging Lily, felt shocked by her confirmed choice.

"Woo! Theory confirmed, baby!" Luna yelled in excitement.

"Why would Karen choose Bryant over Bronson?!" Lori asked incredulously.

"Aside from my detailed notes on their compatibility?" Lisa challenged as she held out a thick, blue notebook labeled, _Karen/Bronson Compatibility_.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, Lori, none of it mattered and the show wasn't all that great." Rick bluntly said, which elicited gasps from everyone, sans Dante and Lily.

"Grandpa, how can you say that?" the Loud siblings said simultaneously.

"You know what, Rick? Why don't you show us your idea of good TV and we'll step on that?" Rita challenged, which only made Rick smile in relief.

"About time, Rita." Rick said as he handed Lily over to Dante.

"Wait, dad…are you going to…?" Dante asked, only for Rick to suddenly throw their cable box onto the floor, much to everyone's shock.

"Hey, relax, everyone." Rick reassured as he opened the top of the box with a screwdriver and inserted a small purple lightbulb before putting it back.

"Crystalized Zanthanite? I haven't seen that since I was a kid." Dante said, apparently knowing what Rick was doing.

"What did grandpa just do?" Lori asked her father.

"I was never good at the science of it, but it conducts electrons across dimensions or something like that." Dante crudely explained.

"Not quite true, but good enough. Basically, I just upgraded our cable package with access to infinite realities with television shows." Rick explained, which made most of the Loud house gasp in amazement.

"What kind of channels do we get now?" Lisa asked excitedly as she somehow pulled a red notebook from underneath the couch.

"How about a movie from a reality where man somehow evolved from rabbits?" Rick asked as he flipped the channel to an old man and a teenaged boy, standing in a deserted mall parking lot, surrounded by a mysterious blazing fire.

" _Doc, are you telling me that you somehow made a freaking time machine…out of a DeLorean?!"_ the young rabbit boy incredulously asked.

" _Well, I figured that if I had to make a time machine, I may as well do it in style, Murphy! My cottontail's twitching with excitement!"_ Doc replied excitedly.

"Ugh, boring. Who'd want to watch anything involving talking rabbits?" Lori said dismissively.

"No offense, Honey Bunny, but you just watched a woman choose a possibly-fake boyfriend after three months." Rick bluntly said, which made Lori meekly withdraw her argument.

"So, it'd be better if they were rabbits?" Rita asked sarcastically.

"Rita, you don't understand. This is infinite TV from infinite universes." Rick replied as he flipped the channel, albeit reluctantly.

" _Welcome to Punch That Jerk! The reality show where we hire huge people to beat up on jerks who deserve it!"_ the male announcer said as he gestured to a large TV screen, which featured a young boy with short red hair, fair skin and freckles on his cheeks. He wore a green, long-sleeved shirt with white sleeves that had a print of a blue gear and dark blue pants with a black belt.

" _This is Chandler, just going about his regular day of abuse. But what happens when it comes back to haunt him?"_ the announcer said as the monitor showed clips of Chandler regularly abusing kids, until it cut to a live video in front of Royal Woods Elementary.

" _You're going to pay, Chandler!"_ a little girl declared after Chandler took her lunch money.

" _Who's going to make me?"_ Chandler asked mockingly, only for a large, muscular man to suddenly appear behind him and effortlessly lifted him by his shirt collar.

" _This the client, Jasmine?"_ the muscular man asked.

" _Yeah, that's him, Greg. Teach him a lesson."_ Jasmine said spitefully as Greg chuckled sadistically.

" _With pleasure."_ Greg said as he threw Chandler on the grass and approached him menacingly, much to young boy's fear. The video suddenly cut to a shot of a thoroughly beaten-up Chandler, strung up by his underwear on the school's flagpole. Even more humiliatingly, his underwear was pink with a unicorn design.

"Show about jerks getting beaten up." Rick explained, only to suddenly change the channel.

" _Oh Lance, I didn't mean for you to fall in love with me!"_ a woman in a red dress melodramatically asked an African-American cyborg with silver metal plating.

" _Yo! I don't love you! My name's not Lance, and I just wanted to know if you found a fat guy in an overcoat!"_ the black cyborg retorted, only for the woman to suddenly embrace him.

" _Oh, Lance!"_ the woman obliviously declared as she deeply kissed him.

"Uh, I don't know…some weird sci-fi soap opera?" Rick deadpanned as he changed the channel.

Suddenly, the television showed the set of _Letterman_ , only with Rita as an apparent guest.

" _It's an honor to have such a distinguished novelist here with us, Mrs. Loud."_ David Letterman said sincerely.

" _The pleasure's all mine, Mr. Letterman."_ The alternate Rita remarked as she smiled.

"An alternate reality where Rita's a famous novelist." Rick said, only to nonchalantly change the channel, despite the family's shock with Rita.

"Wait, what?!" Rita asked incredulously.

"I know. Where's this going?" Rick asked, thinking that she was referring to the new channel, which depicted a giant teddy bear making a spider web.

"Go back, go back!" the rest of the family requested simultaneously.

"Seriously? Okay." Rick said as he complied, only to instead switch back to the time travel movie, which now depicted the old rabbit man riddled with bullets while Murphy stared at his body in shock.

" _No, no! You crazy, fluffy bastards!"_ Murphy defiantly yelled as he jumped into the time traveling car.

"Huh, this is oddly familiar to me." Rick stated, unaware that they wanted him to switch to the famous Rita.

"We meant the one where mom's famous!" Luan clarified.

"Oh, sorry Cutie Clown. Infinity is a big number; I don't remember the channel." Rick explained, although it was mostly to spite Rita.

With that, Rick randomly went through different channels, until he stumbled onto another one where the alternate Rita was accepting a Nobel Prize.

"Wait, stop!" the family declared as he reluctantly stopped at the ceremony.

" _I am so honored with this Nobel Prize in Literature. I couldn't have written my famous book,_ Life with Ten Kids, _without the support of my loving husband and ten children!"_ the alternate Rita said proudly as she gestured to the alternate Loud family in formal clothing. Strangely, every member was there except for the alternate Luan, which made Luan form a confused expression.

"What's going on? Did I pull a disappearing act or something?" Luan asked, trying to lighten the mood with a forced joke.

Suddenly, Rick quickly changed the channel to a mystery-like show called _Quick Mysteries_. However, Rick seemed very anxious to change the subject.

"Hey, don't worry about it. You guys are getting worked up over the wrong aspect of this device." Rick said encouragingly.

"But that doesn't…" Luan trailed off, only for Rick to form a semi-flustered expression.

"Okay, so who wants to watch cool, alternate shows from different dimensions, and who wants to ramble on about their alternate lives?" Rick offered, only to sigh in disappointment when most of the family raised their hands, except for Lincoln, Lynn, Luna, and Lily.

Rick groaned in exasperation as he took out his pair of Dimensional Goggles, the same ones he used to find this reality, and gave it to Dante.

"These scan your retinas and let you view alternate timelines through genetically matching versions of your eyes." Rick explained and then pointed to the kitchen. "Just do it in there, or I'm taking them back."

With that, most of the Loud family went to the kitchen, with Rick pleased that Lincoln, Lynn, Luna, and Lily had decided to stay.

"I'm proud of you kids. You decided to stay with your grandpa." Rick said sincerely as he smiled.

"Hey, I don't care about alternate versions of me, grandpa." Lincoln said as he, Lynn, Luna, and Lily sat closer to Rick, with Lily in Lynn's arms.

"Trust me; furthest thing from our minds." Lynn said reassuringly as Lily cooed.

"Let's watch some cool alternate shows, dudes!" Luna exclaimed happily.

With that, Rick changed the channel, which revealed an apparent commercial featuring a man with fair skin, thinning brown hair, a small, brown moustache, and ants inside his eyes. He wore a yellow dress shirt, red tie, and black pants with a matching belt.

" _Hi, I'm Ants in my Eyes Johnson here at Ants in my Eyes Johnson's Electronics! There's so many freaking ants in my eyes, but we've also got so many TVs, microwaves, radios…I think. I've always had ants in my eyes, so it's hard to tell! I really hope our prices aren't too low!"_ Ants in my Eyes Johnson declared as he continued his bizarre commercial by pointing out what he thought he was selling, even though they were all way off.

" _Refrigerator, $200! Microwave, $100! I think that those are pretty fair prices!"_ the poor man cheerfully stated as he stood by some stoves, unaware that people were stealing his electronics in the background. _"I'm Ants in my Eyes Johnson, everything is black, I can't see anything, and I also can't feel anything either!"_ the poor man declared as his left arm was accidentally set on fire by a customer's carelessness of turning on one of the nearby stoves. Still, the poor man was undeterred as he obliviously continued his commercial, even as the fire consumed his body.

" _But, that's not as catchy, as having ants in your eyes! That always goes off by the wayside! It's a very rare and terrible disease! My nerves don't allow me to feel any sensation of touch! Am I sitting, am I standing? I have no freaking idea!"_ the poor man said happily, only to fall down when his legs were too damaged to stand anymore.

Suddenly, the commercial went to static, with Rick having made sure that Lily hadn't seen the last parts of the commercial by covering her eyes, but thankfully, the rest of them weren't disturbed by it.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Kitchen) 9:15 AM**

Meanwhile, the rest of the family were in the kitchen to look at their alternate lives, but Dante was the only one with some concerns about it.

"I don't know about this, girls. What if it shows us something that we weren't meant to see?" Dante said nervously.

"Yeah, maybe we should just…I'm first!" Rita declared as she took the goggles from Dante's hands. When the rest of the girls attempted to take them from her, Rita stared at them tersely and said, "I carried all of you for nine months. Let me have this."

Knowing not to anger their mother, the girls respectfully declined as Rita put on the goggles, which created a beeping sound that indicated an existing timeline. Rita noticed that this was for Dimension LL-23 and saw her alternate self on a yacht, writing a different story titled, _How to Do It All: The Life of Rita Loud_.

" _Honey, I'm almost finished with the new book! I want you and the kids to read it before I send it over to the publisher!"_ Dimension LL-23 Rita declared as her alternate family appeared, minus Luan, clad in their usual swimwear and smiling happily at her.

"Oh, we're all on a yacht and having fun!" Rita said warmly, and then formed a confused expression. "That's weird, Luan isn't there."

"Wait, really?" Luan asked, still feeling uneasy after seeing the possibly other alternate Rita's family, which also lacked a Luan.

Knowing that this was serious, Rita removed the goggles and gave them to Luan, who anxiously took them, with little protest from her siblings. Luan breathed deeply as she put the goggles on, only for a whirring sound to be heard instead.

"I, uh…don't see anything." Luan said, confused and saddened by what she already knew in her heart.

"Maybe the goggles aren't working?" Leni suggested, hoping to make Luan feel better.

"Thanks, but it worked with mom. I don't…I'm not in this universe for some reason." Luan replied, unfazed by Leni's attempt.

"Well, maybe you're in a different one. It wouldn't hurt to look." Lori suggested, which Luan listened to and turned the orange knob on the side. Sadly, every time she turned the knob, she only got the same result.

The remaining sisters shared uneasy glances with each other, not wanting to say or do anything that would make this worse. The only ones who looked worse were Rita and Dante, each having a somewhat guilty expression throughout the heart-wrenching display.

It wasn't until the fifth one that hers beeped, which made the young comedienne smile, only for it to falter mere moments later. "It's just us in the same house, watching TV." Luan said, disappointed.

"Oh, well that's not too bad, right everyone?" Rita asked, silently urging the others to agree.

With that, the others let out generic murmurs of agreement, but they hardly did anything for Luan as she gave the goggles back to the closest person, which was Lana.

"Hope you have better luck, Lana." Luan said, somewhat disheartened.

"Uh, you sure, Luan? There might be other universes where everyone and everything is cool." Lana suggested, wanting to help her sister's emotional turmoil.

"Maybe, but not now. Let's just see what the multiverse has in store for you guys." Luan replied, doing her best not to seem too sad.

Not wanting to put Luan through any more depressing realities, Lana complied and put the goggles on. Sadly, she couldn't contain her excitement when she saw her alternate self in the bathroom mirror.

"Ah, cool! I'm a werewolf in this reality!" Lana said excitedly, unaware that Luan's expression had become slightly more melancholy.

Lola saw this and snatched the goggles away from her sister, much to Lana's displeasure.

"Hey, I wasn't done with those!" Lana said tersely to her twin sister.

"Well, you're done with them now! Try to maintain some dignity, sister." Lola stated as she put the goggles on. Sadly, she didn't do any better when she saw her alternate self.

"Ooh, I'm a floating kitty in this reality! That is so cool!" Lola exclaimed, which only caused Luan to react similarly to Lana's happiness, only for her to slowly edge out from the kitchen as the rest of her siblings started to view their own, glamourous alternate lives.

She only went back when she spotted Luna and Rick on the couch because she didn't want to risk either of them seeing her like this.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 9:25 AM**

Meanwhile, Rick's group had been enjoying some of the alternate dimensional TV shows, and were currently watching a cheesy, '80s-esque cartoon show.

" _Preteen Mutant Hero Foxes, Preteen Mutant Hero Foxes, Preteen Mutant Hero Foxes, heroes in fox coat, fox power! Here we go it's a lean, furry hero team, on the scene, cool preteens doing hero things! Get rocked with the shifty hero team!"_ a male announcer sung as the theme song flashed through images of four female anthropomorphic red foxes, each clad in a different-colored jumpsuit.

" _Bonnie's the leader in yellow! She never has time to mellow! Patty's the genius in green! She hardly ever acts mean! Sandra's the muscle in black! If she finds you, you better not talk smack! Leona's the goofball in gray! If she finds you, it's a total par-tay! Master Rose taught them every skill they'd need to be one lean, furry hero team!"_ the male announcer sung as it flashed through each of the girls in heroic poses, stopping on their master, a female anthropomorphic bloodhound in a white jumpsuit.

Soon enough, the theme song ended with all of them striking cheesy poses by a sparkly pink logo of their team name.

"Oh, man, this is so bad its good!" Lynn vocalized, inadvertently speaking for the rest of the group.

"I know, right? It's like, so full of crap, but it's done in a good way!" Luna added.

"Yeah, it's why it got like ten seasons and over a hundred episodes. Too bad the last one was basically a mini-series." Rick nonchalantly revealed as he and the others watched the episode.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Kitchen) 9:45 AM**

Meanwhile, Luan felt inadequate as her siblings viewed their alternate lives, each one without her. While they did occasionally run across ones with her, they were always just as normal as they were in this dimension. She had been so focused on her feelings she neglected to see that her parents were the only ones sharing her expression, though it seemed to be out of guilt. Eventually, Luan decided to be more proactive.

"Ugh, grody! I'm a boy in this reality!" Lori said, disgusted, only for Luan to yank the goggles from her face.

"Sorry, Lori. I need to find _**one**_ reality where I exist and something is different!" Luan declared as she went through a plethora of alternate realities. Sadly, each one either didn't have her or everything was the same, except for a few where she was a boy, but that was beside the point. Eventually, Luan growled and angrily gave the goggles back to Lori before eyeing her parents for answers.

"Mom, dad, what's going on here?!" Luan asked angrily. She then held back tears as she tersely asked, "Why aren't I in any reality where everyone else is happy and the ones that I am in, everything is relatively the same?!"

Dante and Rita felt a lump in their throats; they knew that this day would come, but they'd hoped that Luan would have been at least eighteen before they told her. Still, it was clear to the duo that they had to provide their daughter with a straight answer, but they couldn't tell any of the other kids what they had to tell Luan.

"Kids, go to your rooms for a while. We need to talk to Luan." Dante and Rita requested simultaneously.

With hardly any of them ever having seen Luan this angry, they all complied and headed to their respective rooms upstairs, but not before Lori handed them the Dimensional Goggles, not wanting to see any different realities for right now.

As soon as they left, Dante and Rita locked the door to the kitchen and sat with Luan at the kiddie table, which was difficult given the sizes of their chairs.

"Okay, honey, there's no easy way to say this, so I need to ask you…are you sure you want to know?" Rita gently asked, hoping that she would not want to.

Sadly, for her, Luan formed a rare, serious expression and tersely said, "I want to know, mom."

Dante and Rita sighed heavily, knowing that they would have to be as candid as they could for this. They had never expected Luan to ever find out about this, so they didn't even have a speech or even a remote thought on how to word this.

"Honey…when Luna was a year old…your father and I had come up with a schedule and budget that would have given us a lot of free time and money so that…we could afford to finance my writing career." Rita said hesitantly.

"We got so excited that we drank a little too much…and you know…one thing led to another…" Dante added sheepishly, only for Luan to form a disgusted expression.

"Ah, sick! I did _**not**_ need to hear that!" Luan protested as she formed an embarrassed blush.

"Anyway…when I found out that I was late…I took a pregnancy test and we learned that our family was going to be…bigger than we expected." Rita said, as she stared at her legs in a strange sense of shame.

"We had a choice…we could have kept the child or…you know…" Dante added remorsefully, not even able to finish that sentence.

As soon as her father said that, Luan's expression instantly changed from disgusted to absolute shock as she mirrored her mother's expression and stared at her legs, albeit to prevent her parents from seeing the tears well up in her eyes.

"But the important thing is that we didn't!" Rita said quickly as she lifted her head up and laid a comforting hand on Luan, although the young comedienne rejected it as she harshly slapped it away, much to Rita's shock.

"Honey, you know that your mother and I love you all and that we've never regretted having any of you. I know that this is something that we should have waited to tell you, but…!" Dante said, only for Luan's next words to usher in a period of silence until she stopped talking.

"Shut up, mom and dad!" Luan yelled as she looked at them, her face red with tears flowing madly from her eyes. "It's so satisfying to know that in the entire multiverse, I'm the only thing that stands in the way in any of you guys being really happy! I'm the only thing that keeps us in this house, I'm the one who keeps things boring for everyone else, and I'm the only one who is so insignificant that everyone is better off without me!" The second she finished her tirade, Luan buried her tear-soaked face in her legs, crying relentlessly.

The room stayed silent for a long time, sans Luan's crying, until Dante and Rita slowly embraced their crestfallen daughter, with Luan too depressed to reject it this time. She continued her crying for a few more moments, only to feel moisture on her back. While her first thought was a leak in the roof, she remembered that Rick had reinforced their roof so that it wouldn't happen anymore. Her curiosity piqued, she slowly lifted her face from her legs and say her parents crying, almost as much as she was.

"Honey, you couldn't be more wrong." Dante said simply through his tears.

"How could you ever think that? Your father and I love you with all our hearts." Rita added similarly.

While Luan knew that these words were sincere, she couldn't bring herself to face her parents right now. Without a word, Luan broke free from her parents' embrace, unlocked the kitchen door, and ran upstairs to hers and Luna's room, not even caring about the possibility of Luna or Rick seeing her like this.

While Dante and Rita yearned to go after her, they knew that it would probably make things worse; if only she could talk to someone who'd been through something like that. Unsure of what to do next, Dante and Rita sat in silence for a few moments before they morosely headed to the living room.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 10:15 AM**

Meanwhile, Rick's group had been enjoying some programming which involved an alternate _Saturday Night Live_ , a long-winded commercial about fake doors, a commercial involving muscular men advertising something called Turbulent Juice, and an incredibly disturbing cereal commercial, which Rick prevented Lily from seeing. They had been too preoccupied with their universal programming that they had ignored most of the Loud siblings retreating to their rooms or the saddened Luan bolting for hers and Luna's.

As such, they were oblivious to Dante and Rita's presence as they stood by the couch, each of them having a remorseful expression. It wasn't until one of them spoke that they acknowledged their presence.

"So, you kids having fun?" Rita asked, depressed.

"Whoa. Are you okay, mom?" Luna asked, concerned as the rest of Rick's group joined in with similar questions, minus Rick.

"Oh, it's just some…stuff we have with Luan." Dante answered, albeit hesitantly.

"W-Wait, what did you do?" Rick asked Dante.

Seeing their kids in the room made Dante and Rita hold their tongues, which Rick noticed and then said, "Kids, go in the kitchen, right now. Take Lily too."

Unsure of what was going on, they complied, with Luna taking Lily into the kitchen as Dante and Rita sat on the couch. Sans the TV, the room remained silent for some time until Dante said, "We messed up, dad."

"Dante, what are you…oh, my god." Rick said, having guessed what they told Luan. "You told Luan about…?"

"Big time. We tried to comfort her, but she was too hurt to accept it." Rita explained as she stared at the carpet shamefully.

"Can you blame her? That's one of the worst things a parent can tell their child." Dante defended, depressed.

"I won't deny it; it wasn't the right time. Still, she deserved to know and I'm just glad that I reinforced the walls here so that they're soundproof when the doors are closed." Rick stated, glad that his grandchildren wouldn't have been able to hear their argument.

"Besides the obvious, was there a reason you wanted to make sure that we…kept Luan?" Rita asked, formally acknowledging Rick's role in their decision.

"Yeah, because I knew that all of your kids would have a role to play. The other versions of you might look happy without her, but believe me, a part of them aren't. I wouldn't be." Rick replied seriously, although his voice softened in the last sentence.

The room stayed silent for a few moments, until Rita asked, "So, what should we do?"

Rick tapped his chin in thought and confidently said, "I know three kids who might be able to help her."

With that, Rick opened the kitchen door and told them to come back into the living room. However, he then requested for Rita and Dante to go in the other room while they talked. Knowing that they really didn't have any other options, they complied and headed inside the kitchen, making sure to close the door, but not before Luna gave Lily back to them.

"Listen, kids. Luan is in a bad place right now. You need to talk to her before…something bad happens." Rick explained, hesitant to reveal the real reason for her depression.

"What's wrong with her, grandpa?" Luna asked in concern.

"That…doesn't matter." Rick replied hesitantly. "There's only one way you guys can help her."

"Why us, grandpa?" Lincoln asked.

Rick then sighed deeply and said, "Because you kids know enough about what Luan's going through. It's time to…tell her."

Lincoln, Luna, and Lynn gasped in shock, knowing that it meant one thing; telling her that they weren't really her siblings. While they knew, it was a possibility to tell someone, they hadn't expected it to be so soon. After all, what could have Luan gone through that telling her would be helpful?

"Grandpa, I don't think that it's a good idea." Luna countered.

"We have no idea how she'll react to the news." Lynn added.

"What if she hates us?" Lincoln asked, somewhat hesitantly.

Suddenly, Rick warmly embraced them all and said, "I know that this is a bad situation, but Luan needs you three right now. You're the only ones who can help her now. I don't want to wipe out her memories."

Rick's words had been sincere and so with a silent nod, the trio ended the embrace and headed upstairs to find her.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor (Luna and Luan's Room) 10:30 AM**

The trio had arrived at Luna and Luan's room to comfort Luan, albeit hesitantly. They had agreed for Rick's sake, but none of them knew how Luan would react or why she was depressed. Still, she was their sister, even though they knew it wasn't exactly true. They each took a deep breath and attempted to enter the room, only for Luna to notice that the door had been locked.

While it certainly came in handy during lonely nights, Rick had installed doors that locked, so they couldn't come and go as they pleased anymore, unless someone forgot to lock the door. Knowing this, Luna fished out her door key from her left skirt pocket and opened the door.

The trio gasped when they saw the usually cheerful Luan curled up into a ball on her bed, crying softly. She had several wads of used tissues scattered around her bed, which she grabbed from underneath her bottom bunk bed. Knowing that this was a delicate situation, the trio eased themselves into the room and sat around the crestfallen Luan, who fortunately did not object to their presence.

"Lu-Lu, what's wrong?" Luna asked, using Luan's old nickname to comfort her.

Luan remained silent for a few moments, not counting her occasional whimpers, before Lincoln broke the silence.

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to." Lincoln said comfortingly.

"Yeah, we can just hang out like this for a while." Lynn added as she formed a sympathetic expression.

Luan hid a small smile from them, but she still didn't feel like talking. It wasn't until Luna started to stroke her hair that she remembered how Luna did the same thing for her after she had to give up her first puppet, even before Colonel Crackers, which made her unable to remain silent.

"Luna, have you ever…felt like something was holding the family back?" Luan tearfully asked.

"Luan, why are you saying something like that?" Luna asked.

"I kind of found out that I'm not really meant to be in this family." Luan answered bluntly, which made the trio gasp in shock.

"Luan, what are you talking about? Sure, you might be annoying sometimes, but you're our…sister." Lincoln responded, albeit hesitantly on the last word.

"Yeah, we love you, Luan. Where's this coming from?" Lynn asked, concerned.

"I used Grandpa Rick's Dimensional Goggles and in each reality where I existed, everything was normal and boring." Luan replied and then formed a hurt expression. "Then, I found out that mom and dad had…second thoughts when they had me, which was why I wasn't in the ones where mom was famous."

While Luan hadn't directly said it, Lincoln understood what she meant when she said, "second thoughts". Lynn and Luna were already old enough to know what she was talking about, but Lincoln had inferred from having so many older siblings talking about what they learned in Sex Ed over the years, even though he was still ignorant on exactly what they were talking about.

As such, only Lynn and Luna's mouths were open in shock, with Lincoln only forming a sympathetic expression.

"Whoa, that's…that's pretty heavy." Luna stated, understating the severity of the situation.

"I had no idea. No wonder grandpa wanted us to talk to you." Lynn added.

"Look, it doesn't matter what you guys say or show me; it's not going to make me feel any less of the biggest accident in the family." Luan harshly stated, albeit to prevent them from talking any longer.

Suddenly, Lincoln formed a serious expression and walked over to the window in Luna and Luan's room, where he looked at four patches of dirt in the backyard.

"Out there, those are our graves!" Lincoln declared sternly, which instantly made Luan form a confused expression.

"Wait, what?" Luan asked, too depressed to talk any louder as she walked over to the window, with Luna and Lynn following her.

"Look…on one of our adventures…Rick and I kind of destroyed all of Royal Woods." Luna admitted hesitantly.

"Lincoln and I were lucky enough to be with Rick when he saved Luna. We had to watch as our entire town was turned into monsters, except for you guys." Lynn added somberly.

"It's better if you don't know, but that's why we came to this reality. Unfortunately, in this one, our alternate selves, including Rick, died. So, we buried them and took their place." Lincoln explained.

"Yeah, which means we eat breakfast twenty yards away from our own decaying corpses." Luna finished, with a disturbed expression.

"So…none of you are my siblings?" Luan asked, shocked by these revelations.

"We're better than your siblings. We're versions of your siblings that you can trust as much as you did before." Lynn stated warmly.

"I know we're not the same, but we still love you, Luan." Lincoln added as he and Lynn grabbed Luan's hands comfortingly.

"Bottom line: nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everyone is going to die one day." Luna said sincerely as she embraced them all in a much-needed group hug. When she ended the embrace, she stared into Luan's eyes and said, "Come watch TV, Lu-Lu?"

Luan stared at her siblings in remorse for a few moments, darting back and forth from them and her sibling's graves before she gave her answer.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 10:45 AM**

Meanwhile, Dante and Rita had rejoined Rick on the couch and engaged in some interdimensional TV, the latter to get their minds off Luan. As such, they were pleasantly surprised when she came downstairs with Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln, even more so when they noticed a small smile on her lips.

"Honey, your mother and I would just like to say…"

Suddenly, Luan embraced them both and said, "I know, mom and dad. Let's just say I got some much-needed perspective, okay?"

Knowing to not look a gift horse in the mouth, Dante and Rita smiled at their daughter and lovingly said, "Okay. We love you, Luan."

With that, Luan ended her embrace with her parents and rejoined her siblings on the couch, with Rick moving so that the four would have enough room to sit with their parents.

"Glad to see that you're smiling again, Cutie Clown." Rick said affectionately as he lovingly tousled her hair.

"Thanks grandpa. I love you." Luan said sincerely.

"What, no joke?" Rick asked teasingly, which made the remnants of the family break out into a small fit of laughter.

"Hey, can we literally come down, now?" Lori asked from upstairs.

"It's okay! Luan's fine, now!" Rita reassured as the rest of the Loud family came downstairs and simply watched interdimensional TV.

"Anyone in the mood for this show I found called, _The Rabbit House_? It's a cartoon about the only anthropomorphic rabbit boy in a family with twenty-five sisters." Rick suggested

"Sounds nice, but kind of confusing. Who'd want to watch something like that?" Lincoln asked incredulously.

"Indeed. It would have been simpler to make them human and reduce the number of siblings." Lisa agreed.

"What, and wind up with a family like ours?" Lucy said halfheartedly.

"And it would be called _The Loud House_. Sounds like a million-dollar idea to me." Dante said warmly.

"Yeah; one of the greats." Rick sincerely stated as he and the rest of the family watched TV.

 **An: And now, time to recap.**

 **Changes to the time header: yeah, I realized that it would be more accurate if the rooms were specified in the header, so I might go back and change that for the other chapters.**

 **Luan's knowledge: yeah, this is going to cause some drama in a later chapter, possibly in the next one given the nature of it.**

 **The TV shows: yeah, I didn't have the** _ **Two Brothers**_ **trailer because it was ridiculously long, that weird cat lady movie since it was disgusting and Rita wasn't involved in TV, and the disturbing cereal commercial for obvious reasons. Although, bonus points if you caught any shout outs or mythology gags in the non-canon shows.**

 **Punishing Chandler: yeah, I decided that he will be in the story occasionally, but he will only exist for quick gags and well-deserved pain at his expense; unless it turns out he's sort of like Pacifica if they ever use him again, but they probably won't.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.**

 **Next time—Chapter 9: Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind**


	9. Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind

**AN: Hello, everyone. I would like to thank you all for your continued support in** _ **Rick and the Louds**_ **and to answer why I chose Luan for the last chapter. It was mostly because I mentioned earlier that I wanted to do at least one chapter that revolved around each of the Loud kids, with little to no involvement from Lincoln, and I thought that Luan was overdue. Also, it wouldn't have been as powerful to have Luna, Lynn, and Lincoln comfort Lori, since aside from Leni, Lincoln is the only one she has any noticeable interaction with.**

 **Now then, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 9: Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Dining Room) 9:23 AM**

It was an atypical Wednesday morning in the Loud house where Rick, Rita, and Dante enjoyed breakfast with the elder Loud children at the adult table while the youngest ate in the dining room at the kiddie table. Surprisingly, Rick managed to pull some strings that allowed Lincoln to eat with them. While Lincoln had, a terrible experience eating dinner with them several months ago, breakfast was a different matter since they all enjoyed French toast and scrambled eggs. While it was unexpected to have breakfast on a school day when it was supposed to start soon, it was a snow day, so the kids didn't have to worry about school.

"So, does anyone know what day it is tomorrow?" Dante asked excitedly.

"Thursday?" Lori guessed.

"A shopping day?!" Leni shrieked excitedly.

"Lucy's birthday?" Luna and Lincoln asked simultaneously.

"The day you conceived Lola and Lana?" Luan raunchily asked, which made the entire group groan in disgust.

"Yes, no, yes, no." Dante answered, respectively. He then formed a jovial smile and embraced Rick lovingly. "It's also the nine-year anniversary of my dad permanently coming back into our lives!"

"Yeah, and it's going to be awesome! I can't wait to show Sugar Bat what I got for her birthday!" Rick replied sincerely as he returned his son's embrace.

"It's not going to be some weird alien artifact, is it?" Rita guessed, which made Rick form a sheepish expression.

"Not an…artifact." Rick answered as he discretely hid a small, growling crate underneath the table.

"Well, whatever. I'm sure that Lucy's going to love it as much as our gifts!" Lincoln said encouragingly.

"It's not just Lucy's party, dad. I'm going to make you some flying saucer-shaped pancakes tomorrow morning." Dante said sincerely.

"Oh, th-th-there's no need to do that, son. Regular pancakes are fine." Rick obliviously answered, only for a green portal to open on the right side of the dining room table.

Suddenly, two figures emerged from it, a Rick and a young boy that they hadn't seen before. The Rick looked almost exactly like Rick, only with dark circles under his eyes, a small scar on the right side of his mouth and lips, and wore a black shirt underneath his white lab coat.

The young boy appeared to be fourteen with short brown hair, fair skin, and had an eyepatch over his right eye. He wore a yellow t-shirt, blue pants, and white shoes.

Unexpectedly, the Rick had a laser pistol in his hands while the young boy had a tranquilizer gun strapped to his chest with a black bandolier.

Suddenly, the Rick reloaded his laser pistol before nonchalantly firing it at Rick's head, which killed him instantly, much to the family's shock. The young boy quickly unstrapped the tranquilizer gun from his back and fired a dart at Lincoln, which hit the white-haired boy in his left shoulder. Lincoln stayed conscious for a few seconds before he succumbed to the dart's effect, which allowed the alternate Rick and young boy to kidnap him as they ran into the portal, mere moments before it closed.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Dining Room) 5:00 PM**

Given the fact that the kids had to go to school today, Lucy's birthday officially began after Dante and Rita arrived home from their respective jobs. Fortunately, Rick had taken the liberty of decorating most of the house while the kids were away at school, much to their relief since it was always a hassle for any of their birthdays.

Since it was for Lucy, the balloons were black, the cake was chocolate with black-and-white frosting, and the banner was black with white letters spelling out, "Happy birthday, Lucy!".

"Wow. It's enough to make me smile." Lucy monotonously stated as she formed a small smile.

"Well, it's not over yet, Sugar Bat. You still have your presents." Rick sincerely stated as he gestured for his remaining grandchildren to give their gifts to her, except for Lily.

Lucy formed a rare, happy expression as she opened her presents and received: a black cell phone case with a skull pattern from Lori, a new black dress from Leni, a set of purple, gothic headphones from Luna, a dark humor joke book from Luan, the latest _Vampire Requiem_ novel from Lincoln, a hand-made metal crucifix from Lana, and a set of black Mary Janes from Lola.

"Guys, these are amazing. Thank you." Lucy said sincerely as her siblings embraced her in a loving hug. Rick politely coughed, which made them end their embrace to focus on him.

"Like I said before, 'It's not over yet'." Rick stated as Dante and Rita gave Lucy their gift; a set of poems by Edgar Allan Poe, which almost made the goth girl weep with joy. It was already an honor to have the same birthday, but this was beyond anything she'd expected as a gift.

"I…I love you guys." Lucy said as she lovingly embraced her parents, which they returned.

"We love you too, Lucy." Dante and Rita said simultaneously.

"Hey, come on. I love Lucy, too." Rick stated and then said, "I also care for _The Honeymooners_! Wubba-lubba-dub-dub!", which made the rest of the family erupt into a fit of laughter.

"Good one, grandpa!" Luan praised, appreciating his wordplay.

"Thanks, Cutie Clown. But in all seriousness, Lucy needs to see my gift." Rick said as he pulled out the same, growling crate from underneath the dining room table and handed it to her. Lucy gasped in amazement when she saw a black-furred fox cub with icy blue eyes and a silver collar around his neck.

"Grandpa, what is this?" Lucy asked, amazed by the creature's appearance.

"This is an alien fox that's like Earth's extinct Falkland Islands Wolf, only with genuine predatory instincts. I-I don't remember what his species is though." Rick explained, only for Lucy to nonchalantly take it out of its cage and embrace it.

"Hmm, I think I'll call him…Edwin Jr." Lucy said as she lovingly petted the alien fox, which made it howl in content, much to the joy of the rest of the Loud family.

"Enjoying your birthday, Sugar Bat?" Rick asked sincerely.

"Definitely, grandpa. I wish I could've been around to see more of you." Lucy replied lovingly, only for a familiar green portal to open on the right side of the dining room.

Suddenly, three Ricks appeared, all clad in a similar garb to Rick. However, they wore black boots, black gloves, and matching epaulets on their white lab coats. Emblazoned on their lab coats' left sleeves was a triangular symbol with an 'R' in the middle, which matched the silver badges on their right abdomens. While they all had a holstered gun, strapped to their right legs, only the ones on the left and right carried strange rifles.

"Rick Sanchez of Earth Dimension 0006-L, you are under arrest for crimes against alternate Ricks by the authority of the Trans-Dimensional Council of Ricks!" the middle Rick declared as the ones left and right Ricks aimed their rifles at Rick.

"Hey, you can't just barge in here! It's my sixth daughter's birthday!" Rita yelled defiantly.

"Neutralize the lame, female Jerry." Middle-Guard Rick ordered nonchalantly.

"Wait, what?!" Rita said incredulously as the Left-Guard Rick fired his rifle at her, which froze Rita instantly.

"Mom!" the Loud siblings yelled in concern.

"Dad!" Dante yelled incredulously at Rick.

"Okay, everyone should relax. If I know these A-holes and I sort of am these A-holes, they just want me to haul to their stupid interdimensional clubhouse and waste my time with a bunch of questions." Rick explained with a bored nonchalance and soon said, "Let's get this over with."

"Bring his [burp] Lincoln." Middle-Guard Rick ordered, which made Rick form an angered expression as the others complied.

"Leave my Lincoln out of this! You A-holes couldn't even wait until the party was over?!" Rick angrily stated as Left-Guard Rick and Right-Guard Rick put him and Lincoln in handcuffs.

"You lost your right for such pleasantries when you refused to join the Council. In fact, he's not the only one who's going with you." Middle-Guard Rick said smugly.

"W-W-Wait. What are you talking about?" Rick asked, confused, and then looked at Lucy, who'd been on the verge of tears after Rita was frozen. "Oh, come on, heartless pricks. Not her; it's her birthday!"

"We aren't talking about your _**Lucy**_. Take the Lisa." Middle-Guard Rick ordered as Right-Guard Rick put her in handcuffs as well.

"Unhand me, interdimensional imposters!" Lisa yelled defiantly as Right-Guard Rick held her by her sweater collar with his right hand while he pushed Lincoln with his left hand into the portal.

However, before they could enter the portal, Lori stepped in front of it and was joined with the rest of her siblings, all of whom had defiant expressions on their faces.

"Oh, no you don't! You're literally not taking our family anywhere!" Lori declared only for Left-Guard Rick to aim his Freeze Rifle at the group.

"If you are attempting to obstruct justice, you will all be incarcerated! This is your only warning!" Middle-Guard Rick declared, to no avail.

"If you take them, I'm going to shove that rifle right up your…!"

"Lori, it's okay!" Rick yelled placatingly. "I don't want the rest of you guys risking your lives for me."

"But, grandpa…" Lucy trailed off.

"Hey, don't worry, Sugar Bat. I'll be out of there in no time and when I come back, we'll continue the party." Rick said reassuringly to Lucy, which made her form a bittersweet smile.

The group looked at the alternate Ricks for a few moments before they reluctantly stood down, all of whom had saddened expressions as they moved out of the way. With that, the alternate Ricks, Rick, Lincoln, and Lisa started to enter the portal, only for Dante to interrupt them.

"What about Rita?!" Dante requested anxiously.

"Oh, right. Can you at least unfreeze my son's bitch of a wife?" Rick halfheartedly requested to Middle-Guard Rick as they jumped into the portal.

With that, Middle-Guard Rick complied and fired a blast from his Freeze Pistol at Rita, which instantly thawed her out mere moments before he stepped into the closing portal.

 **Citadel of Ricks (Unknown Time)**

When the group stepped out of the portal, they were in a large building located within an orange-brown nebula, with a central glass dome and three separate, smaller domes protruding from it. Several metallic plates extended from the bottom, presumably housing machinery used to keep the building in stable flight.

The interior of the building had a mixture of metal structures and natural fauna, with numerous fountains trees with several curved buildings. The group had arrived in front of a large statue depicting an unspecified Rick, sitting in a central column.

"Whoa, what is this place grandpa?" Lincoln asked, amazed.

"This is a scientist's dream! Are we in an artificial construct in the middle of a nebula?!" Lisa asked excitedly.

"Yeah, but it's sort of like neutral dimensional ground in the multiverse. Welcome to the Citadel of Ricks. It's the secret headquarters for the Council of Ricks." Rick explained as they walked towards wherever the Guard Ricks were taking them. Amazingly, as they walked they saw several alternate versions of Rick and Lincoln conversing, apparently ignoring them.

"Wait, a Council of Ricks?" Lincoln asked.

"As you kids should have inferred by now, I have a lot of enemies in the universe that consider my intelligence a threat." Rick explained as he started to list the ones he meant. "Galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators, and most of the entire inter-galactic government to name a few. Basically, w-w-wherever you find people with head up their butts, someone wants a piece of your grandpa."

"So, how'd this happen?" Lisa asked, intrigued by the several alternate versions of Rick and Lincoln that had been walking around the citadel. Although, she had been confused with some that had an unfamiliar fourteen-year-old boy with short brown hair.

"Well, a lot of different versions of me on different timelines had the same problem." Rick continued as the group stepped onto an escalator that took them to the Council-level floor of the citadel. "So, a few thousand versions of me had the _**ingenious idea of banding together**_ ," Rick yelled spitefully to the other Ricks, before he calmed down and said, "like a herd of cattle, or a school of fish, or those weird and sometimes helpful guys on _Yahoo! Answers_."

"Ah, cool. Check out that version of me!" Lincoln said in amazement, referring to a passing version of him and Rick. While they were clad in their usual outfits, they each had blue fur, blue hair, glowing yellow eyes, fangs, a tail, and pointed ears.

"Yeah, that timeline's pretty nice. So, most timelines have a Rick and most Ricks have a Lincoln. This place is the ultimate who's who of who's you and me." Rick remarked, only for a suited Rick to suddenly approach them.

"Hey, turn your boring, old Lincoln into a hot, fashion statement, with some Lincoln-Dazzlers!" a Salesman Rick offered as he held several different-colored medals, each one with Lincoln's face, only for Rick to blow him off.

"Hey, check this out!" a different Salesman Rick offered as he held out a plush Lincoln doll, which declared, _"Show me the Lincoln!"_ , in Lincoln's voice, only for Rick to blow him off as well.

"Excuse me, sir. Is your Lincoln or one of his siblings uninsured?" a different Salesman Rick as he held out a paper that depicted Lincoln and his sister's faces at the top. "Statistically speaking, every year, hundreds of Lincolns and his siblings are…"

"Back off my grandkids!" Rick declared spitefully, much to the last Salesman Rick's displeasure. He then stared at Lincoln and Lisa apologetically and said, "Sorry if I'm not acting like myself, kids. It's just that this place isn't my cup of tea."

"Does this have something to do with what you said during our last mission with Lucy?" Lincoln asked.

"A little. Remember, I said that that the point of being a Rick is being _**a**_ Rick." Rick explained, only for Middle-Guard Rick to suddenly join in on the conversation.

"Save your anti-Rick speech for the Council of Ricks, terror-Rick." Middle-Guard Rick said tersely, apparently insulting him.

"Hey, save your Rick-rules for the sheep-Ricks, Rick-pig." Rick retorted similarly.

"Screw me, buddy." Middle-Guard Rick said spitefully.

"Screw you?! No, no, no, screw me!" Rick retorted incredulously as they stood in front of a large, golden, metallic door with the Council of Rick's symbol in the middle, which opened when they arrived.

 **Citadel of Ricks (Council Room) Unknown Time**

As they entered the room, they saw a large gathering of alternate Ricks and Lincolns, with a few having that strange, brown-haired boy. Even stranger, some of the brown-haired boys were clad in an identical outfit to the Guard Ricks. Their eyes quickly ventured at the large, golden councilor chairs which had six alternate Ricks in them, all of whom were behind a large, golden desk with the Council of Rick's symbol. They each wore white coats with a golden trim and the Council of Rick's symbol on their left pectorals. They also wore brown gloves and boots, each with a gold trim.

However, each of these Ricks had a differing hairstyle to differentiate themselves. The first one had a large puff of hair on top, with the sides and back of his head shaved; the second one had a puffier hairstyle that took up the back of his head; the third one had long, shoulder-length hair; the fourth one had a swirly hairstyle; the fifth one was bald on top, but had hair on the side and a beard that missed the middle part of his moustache; the sixth and last one had hair that resembled three spikes and a long soul patch.

The group was led into the middle of the room when the Middle-Guard Rick said, "Presenting the spokesperson for the Council of Ricks, Riq IV!"

"Thank you. Bring up the holograms!" Riq IV commanded as two Guard Ricks operated a nearby console that activated a large, blue screen in front of the council. Soon enough, it depicted several Ricks that were apparently murdered, which Rick prevented Lisa from seeing as Lincoln looked at it in mere confusion.

"Twenty-seven Ricks, brutally murdered in their own timelines. An unprecedented Rick-icidal epidemic. What say you, Earth Rick 0006-L?" Riq IV accused.

"You seriously think that I did this?!" Rick asked incredulously. "Compared to the rest of you jerks, I'm a saint!"

"Exactly! You are too nice to be a Rick above suspicion, which is probably why you murdered your fellow Ricks; because they weren't as good as you! Besides, you wouldn't have been able to do it alone, which is why you let your Lincoln and Lisa help you!" Riq IV harshly accused.

"They had nothing to do with this alleged crime! At least I didn't ruin a little girl's birthday party just to bring in someone who wouldn't be willing to do this! And I'm not the only good Rick in the multiverse! Why isn't The Scientist Formerly Known as Rick here is handcuffs?!" Rick angrily asked.

"Because he's dead, too!" Riq IV revealed as he pointed to a hologram of the Prince-like Rick, bleeding from a gunshot wound to the head and his new status; deceased.

Rick gasped in shock, but that did nothing to deter Riq IV's accusations. "Who else would you have us question? You fit the profile! Of all the Ricks in the central finite curve, you have always been too nice for your own good, and that's why you killed them. You did everyone a favor with Douchebag Rick, but the others are inexcusable!"

"No, I'm a Rick. And so were the rest of you jerks before you made this stupid alliance!" Rick yelled defiantly as he approached the councilor's bench. "You wanted to be safe from the government, so you became a stupid government. That literally makes every Rick allied with you less Rick than me!"

Apparently, Rick's protest had struck a nerve with the onlooking alternate Ricks as they began to share murmurs of discontent. However, Rick harshly interrupted them.

"Yeah, murmur it up, D-Bags. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a birthday party to get back to, so unless you have evidence to keep me here, we're going back home!" Rick declared as he led Lincoln and Lisa towards the exit.

However, Riq IV formed a smug expression and said, "Evidence; what a grand idea. Scan his portal gun!"

With that, one of the Guard Ricks took Rick's portal gun from his left coat pocket, with Rick eyeing his grandkids in concern.

"Oh, come on. You can't show another Rick's portal gun history in front of the kids. W-W-We all go to weird places when we get lonely." Rick begged as they inserted the portal gun into the slot for it in the console, which changed the screen to depict all the dimensions Rick had traveled to, some even before Lincoln.

"Yes, but it appears that you have been going alone to the timelines where the murders occurred." Riq IV accused as the ones with a murdered Rick glowed red, much to Rick's shock.

"That's Rick-diculous! There's no way that's right! I'm clearly being set up!" Rick defiantly retorted.

"Earth Rick 0006-L, the Council of Ricks sentences you and your accomplices to the Machine of Unspeakable Doom, which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, rendering your fantasies pointless, while everything you know becomes impossible to grasp!" Riq IV declared, only to form a sheepish expression. "Also, every ten seconds it stabs your balls and/or labia."

"I've heard enough." Rick deadpanned as he effortlessly dislocated his wrists to free himself from the handcuffs before relocating them and taking a Guard Rick's Freeze Pistol, which he used to free Lincoln and Lisa from their handcuffs.

"Let's get out of here, kids!" Rick yelled fearfully as he took a terrified Lisa and ran alongside a frightened Lincoln, but not before he retrieved his portal gun from the console.

As they ran through the corridors of the citadel, several Guard Ricks appeared to stop them, each carrying a Freeze Rifle. Rick safely tucked Lisa underneath his left arm as he fired random portals at their attackers, which slowed them down with interdimensional hazards.

They soon came to a dead-end, which was only because it ended several floors up, but Rick was undeterred as he put Lisa on his back and grabbed Lincoln by his shirt collar. Rick breathed deeply and asked them both, "Do you trust me?"

Lincoln and Lisa stared at their grandfather for a few moments before they gave him a silent nod, which made the elderly scientist smile. It lasted for a few moments before he said, "Then, hang on!"

With that, Rick ran towards the end of the corridor and jumped, which made Lincoln and Lisa yell in fear as Rick fired a random portal onto a neighboring glass dome where they would've crashed. Lincoln and Lisa yelled as they all entered the random dimension.

 **Dimension CL-201 (Rick's Lab) 2:04 PM**

"Why won't you just let me help you?" CL-201 Rick concernedly asked his Luan, who was inexplicably in a wheelchair. He had been apparently showing her a schematic of cybernetic legs on a chalkboard.

"Besides the fact that it'll probably kill me?! It's wrong!" CL-201 Luan retorted to her Rick, before she formed an angered expression and shouted, "It's your fault I'm even in this stupid chair in the first place! I might be the least religious person in the family, since I like girls, but there's some things that I think only God should do!"

"Like give you a frothy vagina?!" CL-201 Rick asked incredulously, only for him and his Luan to form embarrassed expressions.

"Please tell me you mean the _**ability**_ to get a frothy vagina." CL-201 Luan begged.

"Sure, let's go with that." CL-201 Rick said quickly, only for the portal that contained Rick, Lincoln, and Lisa to appear overhead, which deposited them in the middle of the room. Aside from a minor discomfort in Rick's legs, the group was unharmed as he released Lincoln and formed a sheepish expression at the alternate Rick.

"Oh, sorry, bro. Just running from the Council, again." Rick nonchalantly stated to CL-201 Rick.

"Tell me about it. You better run." CL-201 Rick advised as Rick complied and ran out the door with his grandkids. Rick then made another portal that his group jumped into, unaware that several surviving Guard Ricks came through their previous portal and went into the new one.

 **Dimension SL-304 (New York City) 3:06 PM**

"There's nowhere you can't hide from me, my old friend." A muscular, African-American man said with a black afro, clad in a silver jumpsuit with a matching domino mask and a blue lightning bolt symbol on his chest.

"I'm done running, Clyde. This is how it ends!" a muscular, Caucasian man said with short, white hair, clad in an identical, orange jumpsuit with a matching domino mask and a red lightning bolt symbol on his chest.

With that, the alternate Clyde and Lincoln ran at each other at lightning-fast speeds, with each clash sending surges of lightning throughout the city, which endangered several passersby. The two titans of speed were so enthralled by their battle that they neglected Rick, Lincoln, and Lisa emerge from a nearby portal and hastily opened another one, narrowly avoiding the lightning strikes from their battle.

Fortunately, some of the Guard Ricks weren't as lucky as a few of them were disintegrated when they attempted to enter the new portal.

 **Dimension XT-001 (South Gate Park) 12:02 PM**

"I can't believe it's been seven years since I proposed to you in this park before the S-Class Exam, Erza." A twenty-six-year-old mutant said wistfully in a soft, German accent as he sat with his wife on a park bench. He had blue fur, short blue hair, glowing yellow eyes, a pair of fangs, three fingers, two toes, a tail, and pointed ears. He wore a simple orange shirt, black jeans, but remained barefoot.

"I know, Kurt. It's hard to believe so much has changed, but I've never regretted it. After all, we wouldn't have been around if you hadn't teleported us off Tenrou Island." The twenty-six-year-old Erza said as she gave her loving husband a kiss on his left cheek. Erza has long red hair, brown eyes, fair skin, and a figure that most girls would've killed for. She wore her familiar white blouse, a knee-length blue skirt, and brown shoes.

"You're everything to me, Erza Wagner. I'm just glad we got to see our kids grow up." Kurt said lovingly as the duo stared at their four, seven-year-old kids happily playing in the park.

The oldest, Talia, resembled their father immensely except she had blue hair stylized into a pixie cut, her father's yellow eyes, but they looked normal because of her mother's genes, and complete set of fingers and toes. She wore a purple t-shirt, black shorts, and matching shoes.

The second-oldest, Robert, also resembled their father, only he had normal brown eyes. Aside from that and his short, red hair, he looked exactly like Talia. He wore a purple polo shirt, black jeans, and white tennis shoes.

The third-oldest, Nick, resembled their mother almost exactly, except for his short, red hair and his unique, hidden fangs. He wore a purple undershirt, blue jeans, and black shoes.

The youngest, Cerise, resembled their mother except she had long, blue hair that concealed her heterochromia; her right eye was brown, but her left eye was yellow. She wore a light purple dress with matching Mary Janes.

"Hmm, you want to stop by the guild, see our old friends?" Erza asked.

"Yeah, I'd like that. It's a miracle that Natsu finally started a family with Juvia and Gray with Lapis. I'm just glad that having kids mellowed them out." Kurt stated.

"It's a shame that Lucy still hasn't found someone." Erza remarked sadly.

"Yeah, but I think she's happier like that. Besides, she's got the Guild's kids including Gajeel and Levy's." Kurt replied, attempting to make her smile.

"I suppose that's right. I love you, Mr. Wagner." Erza said affectionately.

"And I love you, Ms. Scarlet." Kurt replied similarly, using Erza's maiden name.

With that, the married couple enjoyed a passionate kiss, unaware that Rick's group emerged from a nearby portal.

"Oh, crap! It's the canon future of the author's only other good story that may or may not be abandoned!" Rick yelled fearfully, much to Lincoln and Lisa's confusion.

"Wait, what?" Lincoln and Lisa asked, only for Rick to open another portal.

"It's not important! Let's go!" Rick yelled quickly as they ran into the new portal.

 **Dimension DD-44** **12:00 PM**

Suddenly, Rick's group wound up in a Dr. Seuss-esque world with several large hybrid creatures of dodo birds and camels surrounding the lush, green field they emerged into. The native creatures repeatedly said variations of the fictional word, 'doopidoo' as Rick opened several other portals in random locations to throw the Guard Ricks off their tracks. After creating six portals, Rick's group leapt into the first one.

Thankfully, Rick's plan worked as several Guard Ricks emerged from portals of their own and moaned in exasperation when they saw Rick's numerous decoy portals. Strangely, they were unaware when a mysterious pen, pad, and a coffee mug emerged from one of the decoy portals.

 **Dimension CH-782 (Chair Arms Apartments 5** **th** **Floor) 1:22 PM**

It had been a normal day for Gary and Barry as they sat in their human chairs while Gary dialed the pizza phone for their usual order, which was thankfully accommodating for the fingerless Chair People.

"Yes, I'd like to order one large phone with extra phones please." Gary requested.

"Cell phone, no, no, rotary, and payphone on half!" Barry pleaded before the order was finished.

Suddenly, Gary and Barry gasped when Rick's group emerged in their living room, with Rick ignoring them, but Lincoln and Lisa staring in shock at the sentient sofa chairs.

"That should keep them busy for a while." Rick stated as he nonchalantly left the apartment, with Lincoln and Lisa following a few moments of equal shock with Gary and Barry.

 **Dimension CH-782 (Chair City) 1:30 PM**

After leaving their apartment, Rick's group had ventured into the city to buy some time from the Guard Ricks. As such, Lincoln and Lisa finally had the opportunity to ask Rick about what was going on.

"Those guys were just blowing smoke, right? You wouldn't kill alternate versions of yourself, grandpa." Lincoln remarked.

"Of course, not, Lincoln. I only kill other Ricks if they endanger you or your siblings. But, someone out there is killing Ricks and the Council won't stop thinking that it's me unless we clear our names; by finding the real Rick-killer." Rick explained, ignoring the incredulous stares of the Chair People he, Lincoln, and Lisa were receiving.

"As fascinated as I am by the inhabitants of this dimension, I do believe that some explanation is needed now." Lisa stated, after she composed herself from the initial shock.

"What else do you need to know, Little Poindexter?" Rick asked.

"I couldn't help but notice how some of those Rick's didn't have Lincolns; they had a different boy who was a little older with short, brown hair. Care to explain?" Lisa said as she narrowed her eyes at Rick.

"Hey, that's right. I thought it was some weird, male version of Luan, but he didn't really look like her. What's going on, grandpa?" Lincoln asked, his curiosity piqued.

Rick took a deep breath and said, "Oh, geez. I knew I had to tell you eventually, but I wasn't sure how you'd take it."

"Take what, grandpa?" Lincoln asked.

"Lincoln, those were Mortys. They're the usual grandsons of Ricks, but sometimes, we get Lincolns like you." Rick explained and then put a loving hand on Lincoln's left shoulder. "And I'm really happy I got one of you."

With that, Lincoln formed a small smile, which made Lisa form one of her own, only for hers to quickly turn into a fearful expression.

"Wait, what about our family?! They're still back home; we should go save them!" Lisa yelled desperately.

"Wouldn't do any good, Lisa. By now, the house is swarming with Ricks…and who knows what sort of things are going on there." Rick replied, somewhat nervously.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 6:00 PM**

After their escape from the citadel, several Guard Ricks commandeered the Loud house for their base of operations. The remaining Loud siblings and Rita reluctantly obeyed the alternate Ricks, but Lucy was more angered with what they'd done to her Rick; she would've given up today if it meant having Rick back.

The Ricks had been busy setting up their equipment, which included a tracer in the Loud house phone, while Dante stayed in the kitchen, cooking something that would helpfully placate these Ricks.

"Okay, if your Rick calls, this device will allow us to trace his location, Rita. You just need to keep him on the line for thirty seconds or longer." A Guard Rick stated as Dante emerged from the kitchen, carrying two trays of pink, frosted cupcakes.

"Who wants cupcakes?" Dante asked as he served the grateful Guard Ricks, who smiled at him.

"Oh, delicious." A different Guard Rick complimented as he ate one of the cupcakes.

"Dante, you're a godsend." Another Guard Rick said similarly.

"I have a Dante just like you in my reality, except, you know what? He's not as brilliant or handsome!" another Guard Rick added affectionately.

"Aw, thank you!" Dante said sincerely and then formed a curious expression. "So, uh, think this is enough for you not to punish my dad or kids?"

Suddenly, the jovial expressions of the Guard Ricks fell with one of them tersely saying, "Not by a long shot, son."

The situation grew direr when the phone started to ring, much to Rita's shock as she reluctantly grabbed the phone as some of the Guard Ricks aimed Freeze Rifles at her.

"Um, hello?" Rita asked nervously.

" _Hey, Rita. It's Rick."_ Rick said on the phone.

"Rick, uh, hey! What's going on? How are the kids?" Rita asked.

" _They're fine. Listen, the heat's on and there's nowhere left to turn, so I just wanted to clear something up; are you cool with me, Lincoln, and Lisa piloting my ship into the sun?"_ Rick nonchalantly asked, which made Rita form a concerned expression.

"Wait, what?!" Rita asked incredulously.

" _I figured I might as well ask since we're crashing into it right now."_ Rick remarked.

"Rick, no! My babies!" Rita yelled, horrified, which were amplified with similar expressions from the remaining Loud siblings and Dante.

"We got it! The call's coming from…inside the house!" a Guard Rick mocked as another Guard Rick emerged from the kitchen, holding the phone he used to make that fake call.

"Oh, god! Look at her face, her stupid face!" the Guard Rick that told her about the call said as the rest of them erupted into a large fit of laughter.

"I can't believe our son married you." Another Guard Rick stated as another one hit her in the face with an apple pie.

As they continued laughing, they were oblivious to the angered expressions of the remaining Loud family, especially as Lynn took out an emergency pair of Rick's brass knuckles from underneath the couch, only for Leni to reluctantly stop her.

 **Dimension CH-782 (McChairs) 1:45 PM**

Rick, Lincoln, and Lisa entered a local diner where Rick started to tinker with the portal gun.

"Okay, the Ricks are going to spend some time messing with your mom; that'll buy us some time. Still, they'll get bored and they'll come after us." Rick stated as their chair waiter arrived with their orders.

"Okay, that's a phone-burger with extra phones, phone-spaghetti with phone-balls, and phone salad with cellphone dressing. Anything else?" the chair waiter asked as he served Rick, Lincoln, and Lisa their respective orders.

"Yeah, more phone-sticks, please." Rick requested as he held out phone-shaped bread in a basket.

"Right away, sir." The chair waiter said as he left to fulfill Rick's request.

"You know after I saw so many of those Ricks with Lincolns I thought that devalued our bond, but it must be pretty special to span over all those different timelines." Lincoln said happily.

"Why wouldn't it be? You're a camo…" Rick stated, only to immediately cut himself off. Unfortunately, Lincoln and Lisa heard the hesitation in his voice, but Lisa was the one to break the silence.

"What were you about to say, grandpa?" Lisa asked tersely.

"Yeah, what were you about to say about me?" Lincoln asked, somewhat angered.

"Ugh, me and my big mouth." Rick lamented and then stated, "You're a camouflage."

"Wait, what?" Lincoln asked, somewhat hurt.

Rick took a deep breath and said, "Okay, it works like this; Ricks have a very traceable brainwave due to our genius. The best way to hide from an enemy's radar is to stand next to someone with complimentary brainwaves that make ours invisible." Rick then took out a pen from his right coat pocket and began to draw frequencies on a nearby napkin. "You see, w-w-when a Rick is standing next to any variation of Morty, the genius waves get cancelled out by the, in your case, Lincoln-waves."

"Uh, what does that mean?" Lincoln asked, more concerned with his relationship to Rick. Lisa had a somewhat concerned expression on her face, but she was relieved that at least she was spared.

"Hey, don't take it the wrong way. Your sisters amplify the signal immensely, which is why most Ricks would prefer to have a Lincoln." Rick bluntly explained, only to backpedal when he noticed Lisa's crestfallen expression.

"Oh, geez. Look, you know that I…" Rick trailed off, only for his portal gun to start beeping. As Rick analyzed the results, he gasped in amazement. "We got it! My portal gun was hacked remotely, obviously by the real killer to frame me. But, I've got the signal, so let's go!"

Suddenly, the trio noticed two Guard Ricks alongside a Guard Morty enter the restaurant which forced Rick to execute Plan B as they talked to their chair waiter.

"Sir, we're looking for three interdimensional fugitives, one of which resembles me and my friend here, so I'm going to mark each of us with an 'X' so that if it comes down to shooting someone, you'll know which one it is." The Guard Rick said as he followed through on marking them all with a red marker, including the Guard Morty.

"Hey, there they are!" the second Guard Rick declared as they looked at three figures wearing their clothes. Unfortunately, for them, it turned out to be three human chairs Rick's group had hastily dressed.

"Damn it!" the first Guard Rick declared, only to look out the window and saw an underwear-clad Rick, Lincoln, and Lisa hijack their interdimensional police spaceship.

They all ran out in a vain attempt to catch them, only for the chair waiter to angrily come out. "Hey, you freak! You didn't pay!"

"Red 'X', Red 'X'!" the first Guard Rick angrily declared, pointing at his mark with emphasis.

 **Dimension ERML-2367 (Earth) 3:26 PM**

As the arrived to the real killer's Earth after Rick plugged in his portal gun to the cruiser, Rick's group noticed that it hardly resembled their home planet given that it was green with two red, diagonal rings around the planet. They had arrived in a marshy wetland, but not before they had gone to an interdimensional thrift store, which thankfully had exact copies of their clothes in stock.

However, Lincoln and Lisa remained in a tense silence ever since they escaped the Guard Ricks. While they usually knew that Rick cared for them, the revelations on their real purposes made them question everything. Meanwhile, they were unaware that Rick had a remorseful expression on his face and wanted to fix this soon.

"Hey, it's a good thing that the interdimensional thrift store had exact copies of our clothes in stock, huh, kids?" Rick asked nervously.

"We know, grandpa. You don't have to keep saying it." Lincoln replied tersely.

"Indeed. After all, aren't we just glorified human shields?" Lisa accused, which made Rick stop the cruiser.

"Okay, let's get one thing straight here before we go confront the real killer; you kids aren't just human shields to me!" Rick angrily yelled, only to continue his rant. "I've always been there for you kids when you needed me, I've risked my life to keep you safe, I always made it to your birthdays even before I moved in! You kids said that you trusted me, but all this doubt is coming out of nowhere! It doesn't matter what the other Ricks think about you; I love you kids!"

Suddenly, Lincoln and Lisa recognized the sincerity and truth to those words. They looked at Rick in remorse as they came to terms with their behavior. After a few moments, the duo embraced each other before they embraced Rick.

"We're sorry, grandpa." Lincoln and Lisa said remorsefully.

"It's okay, kids. Don't worry about it." Rick replied sincerely as he ended the embrace with a friendly hair tousle to the duo.

With that, Rick resumed driving and found a large, metal dome in the middle of the alternate Earth's swamplands, alongside several screams.

"Oh, my God! There's a bunch of people, strapped to that building!" Lincoln yelled fearfully as they approached the dome.

"Not just people, Lincoln. Mortys and Lincolns." Rick said seriously as they now saw several Mortys and Lincolns strapped to the dome, shackled by their hands and ankles, with a machine strapped to their genitals that prodded their naked abdomens to the point of bleeding.

"Why would anyone do this?! Even I know that's horrible!" Lisa said incredulously, feeling empathy to the alternate versions of her brother.

"Well, one normal Morty is enough to hide from the bureaucrats, but if you have a whole matrix of Mortys and Lincolns and put them in agonizing pain, that creates a signal that can hide you from other Ricks." Rick explained as he parked the cruiser in front of the dome's entrance.

"Wait, how do you even know that?" Lincoln asked.

"Because I've fiddled with the concept a few times." Rick answered, only for Lincoln and Lisa to stare at him incredulously.

"On paper, kids! On paper! I wouldn't do anything like this; it's barbaric overkill. You could accomplish the same result with like one Lincoln, two sisters, and a set of jumper cables." Rick defended, only for Lincoln and Lisa's incredulous stares to increase as they exited the cruiser.

"Which I would also never do! I'm just saying, any Rick worth their salt would agree that its poor and sadistic craftsmanship." Rick replied defensively, which lessened the duo's incredulous stares at their grandfather.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 6:20 PM**

After their cruel prank, the Guard Ricks and any of their Mortys had been waiting patiently in the Loud house for any change in the whereabouts of Rick's group. Given the fact that they were captive, the remaining Loud siblings were confined to their rooms, with Rita angrily working on her unfinished novel on her laptop as she sat on the couch.

As such, she was unaware when a different Rick appeared and smiled at her. This Rick had a bowl-cut hairstyle, buck teeth, and lazy eyes. Aside from that, he looked exactly like Rick. This was Doofus Rick.

"Hi, Rita." Doofus Rick said sincerely.

"Leave me alone! I'm writing!" Rita said tersely, still angered by the Guard Ricks earlier prank.

"You are? W-What are you writing about?" Doofus Rick asked.

"It's…it's just a story I've been trying to write for a long time. It's something to do when I'm not working as a dental assistant." Rita answered bitterly.

"You work as a dental assistant? Wow, so, you help the dentist clean people's teeth?" Doofus Rick asked, amazed as he sat next to her.

"Well, I do a lot more than that." Rita replied.

"Well, you do it and you seem like a smart, successful woman who has it all together with eleven kids." Doofus Rick said sincerely, much to Rita's surprise.

Rita looked around the room in suspicion until she stared incredulously at Doofus Rick. "Hang on, you're being a jerk now, right?"

"Oh, I hope not. I-I-I wouldn't want to offend you in any way." Doofus Rick replied caustically, which only made Rita continue her incredulous stares.

"You're seriously a Rick?" Rita said doubtfully, even though her Rick wasn't a big of jerk to her as the other ones were.

"Of course, I am. Just as much my Lincoln's a Lincoln." Doofus Rick remarked as he waved to his Lincoln, who didn't really resemble him at all. His Lincoln had pale white skin, red eyes, and a set of fangs. He wore a black polo shirt, matching jeans, and shoes. Strangely, he'd been peacefully playing cards with the Guard Mortys and affectionately waved back.

"Uh, he doesn't look anything like you." Rita said bluntly.

"That's right Rita! He's from a dimension where everyone on Earth got turned into vampires! He's Vampire Lincoln!" Doofus Rick said cheerfully, only for his smile to falter when he continued to talk. "The Council assigned him to me because…I never had kids of my own." Doofus Rick said remorsefully, only to regain his smile as he talked to Rita. "But, if I did, I hope that they would've turned out as smart and successful as you, Rita."

"Oh, check it out. Rita's hanging with Doofus Rick." A Guard Rick remarked mockingly to another one.

"Oh, that is priceless!" the other Guard Rick added.

"I'm not Doofus Rick! I'm Rick J-19-Zeta-7!" Doofus Rick said fearfully.

"Oh, you mean the timeline where everyone eats poop?" the first Guard Rick said mockingly. "Rita, you know this dumbass eats poop, right?"

"Hey, I don't eat poop! You guys are always so mean to me!" Doofus Rick poorly retorted as he broke down in tears, much to the amusement of the Guard Ricks who left shortly after.

"I guess it's only fair to tell you now, Rita; Without your Rick's assertiveness, I'm the worst Rick of them all!" Doofus Rick tearfully lamented to her.

"Who has the right to say that; other versions of you?" Rita replied supportively. "If I've learned anything it's that before you get anywhere in life, you have to stop beating yourself up over your shortcomings."

"You're so wise, Rita. I guess that's why you want to become a writer!" Doofus Rick said cheerfully, his tears fading away.

"The fact that you feel that way, makes you the _**best**_ Rick of them all." Rita said sincerely.

 **Dimension EMRL-2367 (Dome 1** **st** **Floor) 3:36 PM**

Meanwhile, Rick's group had successfully infiltrated the building and skulked around the corridors to find the real Rick-killer. Still, despite what Rick had said, Lincoln and Lisa were shaken up with the sight of those tortured Mortys and Lincolns, even though they weren't technically related to former.

"Grandpa, you swear that you never did anything like this?" Lincoln asked, uncertainly.

"Yes, Lincoln! I've told you guys that I'd never be willing to do this." Rick replied, only to form a sheepish expression. "Although, it was uncalled for to mention the other stuff I said when we arrived."

"A little, grandfather. Still, we need to solve this mystery so that we can go home." Lisa said.

"Agreed. Now, if we don't make any sudden sounds…"

Suddenly, a loud crunching sound resonated throughout the halls, with Lisa cringing from the fact that it came from a discarded skeleton arm she'd accidentally stepped on. Soon enough, they were surrounded by four large, purple crustacean-like aliens, who approached them menacingly.

"Don't feel bad, Lisa. It could've happened to anyone." Rick said supportively as he started to effortlessly attack the aliens. He elbow-dropped one's claw clean off before he kicked it in the face. Rick then performed a roundhouse kick on the second one and took his claw to beat up the third one before he threw it at the last one.

Rick stared at his small triumph with pride, only for several more of the aliens to come, which made the elderly scientist groan in exasperation. Suddenly, he heard a slow, clapping sound as his evil counterpart arrived with his Morty and his Lisa.

This Lisa had shaggier brown hair, a scar over her left eye, and had an angered scowl on her face. She wore a red sweater, green pants, and black shoes.

"Ooh, look at you 0006-L Rick. Aren't you a tough customer?" Evil Rick mocked as he ended his slow clapping.

"The slow clap? Seriously? Kind of played out, bro." Rick said nonchalantly as he motioned Lincoln and Lisa to stand behind him.

"Not in this dimension it isn't. In fact, I invented it. No one else has done it here, before." Evil Rick said smugly.

"Well, good for you." Rick said sarcastically as he mockingly did his counterpart's slow clap, only to feel Evil Rick's harsh swat to his hands.

"Hey, that's mine!" Evil Rick childishly yelled.

Suddenly, the alien crustaceans captured Rick's group and led them through the base where they would be held for now.

"There's something off about that Rick, kids. We've got to get out of here." Rick whispered to Lincoln and Lisa.

"Yeah, but how?" Lincoln asked.

"I don't have any ideas for how we can escape this, grandpa." Lisa said fearfully.

"Take his Lincoln and Lisa away." Evil Rick commanded to his Morty and Lisa while he went with Rick.

"Come with us." Evil Morty said as the alien lobsters released their grasp on Lincoln and Lisa.

"And what if we refuse?" Lisa said defiantly, only for her counterpart to nonchalantly hold a laser crossbow to her head.

"Then you'll be killed instantly. Come with us." Evil Morty said nonchalantly as Lincoln and Lisa reluctantly followed them.

"Hey, you seem to be a…reasonable guy." Lincoln said placatingly. "Is there any way that you could help us free all those Mortys and Lincolns? They're sort of like versions of us, aren't they?" Lincoln asked Evil Morty as he operated a keypad to their cell.

"It would be pointless. No matter the variation, Mortys don't have a chance of defeating a Rick." Evil Morty said apathetically as the door to their cell opened.

"Get in there, punks." Evil Lisa said as she harshly shoved Lisa and Lincoln into the cell before Evil Morty sealed the door.

Suddenly, Lincoln and Lisa saw several traumatized and starving Mortys and Lincolns staring at them in fear. Lincoln and Lisa held hands as they awaited their uncertain fate.

 **Dimension EMRL-2367 (Evil Rick's Lab) 3:40 PM**

Meanwhile, Rick was strapped to a metal table in Evil Rick's lab, which hardly resembled the one he had back home. There was a large screen on the left of Rick that depicted the tortured Lincolns and Mortys, with a console in front of that. Evil Rick stood in front of Rick with a sadistic smile while the alien crustacean that captured him stood on his right.

"Ah, isn't it beautiful?" Evil Rick said sadistically, referring to the images of the tortured Lincolns and Mortys.

"Oh, yeah. It's like Payday at Neverland Ranch here. Zing!" Rick said apathetically, which made the alien crustacean chuckle lightly. "That guy got it."

"Uh, uh, uh, Rick. You're missing my symphony." Evil Rick said as he operated the nearby console, which greatly amplified the screams of the Lincolns and Mortys.

"Hey, I'll take it over _Mumford & Sons_. Zip!" Rick said with a defiant smile, which made the alien crustacean laugh again. "This guy is on it!"

"He's not laughing at your Luan-level jokes, Rick. That's just a random noise it makes every ten seconds." Evil Rick coldly revealed as the alien crustacean giggled once more, much to Rick's disappointment.

"You see Rick, I wanted you to find me. We might not have the same morals, but we're not so [burp] different." Evil Rick said as he operated the console in front of Rick, which activated a holographic screen, like the one in the Council Room.

"Yeah, that's kind of a given. You know, I never held it against any of you for being royal dicks, okay?" Rick bluntly stated.

"You see here? I created a spectrum of all the Ricks that have existed or ever will exist. I had to crunch the numbers, but I nailed it. I sorted them from most evil to least evil." Evil Rick stated as he found a picture of himself, which was oddly in the middle of the spectrum. "Here's where I am." He then motioned towards the near end of the spectrum and stopped at Rick's picture. "And Right here's where you are, Rick." He then motioned towards a random Rick in-between and said, "This one, super freaky."

"What's the point of all this, jackass?" Rick rudely asked.

"Simple. You are one of the good Ricks, but you have the assertiveness from the rest of them; a rarity even in the multiverse. Which is why I'm going to download the contents of your brain, and then kill you!" Evil Rick revealed, much to Rick's shock.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Kitchen) 6:32 PM**

"So, if we just add some dehydrated kyrintite and some purified schlebite…" Doofus Rick said as he poured a test tube of a red liquid into a blue one before pouring the purple substance into an empty lasagna pan, which created a piping-hot lasagna almost instantly, "…oven-less lasagna!"

With that, Rita took a small piece and ate it, which made her smile. "It's amazing! This is going to make a great birthday dinner for Lucy!"

"Oh, come on! I can't take all the credit; it was your idea! Come here, Rita!" Doofus Rick said as he lovingly embraced her, which made Rita smile.

"Uh, do I need to remind you that two of our kids are still missing and the rest are confined to their rooms?" Dante asked his wife as he took out the trash from the alternate Ricks' consumption.

"Of course, I haven't. I'm just finally getting along with Rick, like you wanted." Rita remarked, referring to the few times Dante had to get in the middle of Rita and Rick.

"But he's not my dad! He's just an alternate version of him!" Dante pointed out.

"Don't take this from me, honey!" Rita said tersely.

"Whoa, okay. Does someone need a hug?" Doofus Rick asked as he ended his embrace with Rita and embraced Dante, which made him smile.

"Okay, I see what you mean." Dante conceded.

 **Dimension EMRL-2367 (Dome 1** **st** **Floor) 3:50 PM**

Even though they knew it was pointless, Lincoln and Lisa relentlessly banged on the locked door, attempting to free themselves. Suddenly, they were approached by a small group of Lincolns and Mortys, clad in hooded brown cloaks and red face paint.

"There is no escape my dear children. We will find our peace in the next world." Cult Morty said submissively as he handed them both a pamphlet.

"So, what, you're just giving up?!" Lincoln asked incredulously.

"We're giving _**in**_ , to the power of the One True Morty. One day, he will return!" Cult Morty said faithfully as he and the rest of the cult removed their hoods, which revealed their shaven heads.

"Hail the One True Morty!" his followers blindly said as Lincoln and Lisa stared at their pamphlets, which were titled _The Good Morty_.

Lisa opened hers first, which were just pictures of Mortys in comic-strip form, which made her throw it in disgust. Lincoln did the same with his and stood on top of a discarded milk crate to get everyone's attention.

"Listen up, everyone! My name is Lincoln Loud from Earth Dimension 0006-L! I know that you're scared, because I'm scared, but that's no reason to accept our fate!" Lincoln announced confidently. "Morty, Lincoln, it doesn't matter! We're all a family and it's time we showed these jerks what that means!"

"That sounds like something the One True Morty might say. He's right; I'm done living in fear! I want to be a gardener!" a random Morty announced.

"I want to write incredible, intense, Sci-Fi novels!" a foxlike Morty added.

"I want to be a real boy!" a puppet-like Lincoln pleaded.

"I'm more than just a pair of pants!" a giant pair of Lincoln pants added.

"He is the One True Morty, in the form of a Lincoln!" Cult Morty declared as they lifted him up alongside Lisa. "Hail to the One True Morty and his sister!"

Suddenly, one of the crustacean aliens entered the room with an angered expression and surprisingly said, "Hey, keep it down, freaks!"

Aroused by Lincoln's speech, the alternate Mortys and Lincolns ended their praise and violently attacked the alien crustacean before they started to rush and attack the guards throughout the entire base, with Lincoln and Lisa following closely.

 **Dimension EMRL-2367 (Evil Rick's Lab) 4:15 PM**

Meanwhile, Rick was forced to wear a device on his head that allowed his memories to be seen on the same holographic screen Evil Rick had shown the alternate Ricks, much to the latter's joy.

"You've lived an amazing life, Rick. It's a shame that you're not going to live to see it through." Evil Rick said sadistically as he gazed at Rick's memories.

Rick stared somberly at some of the highlights: meeting his wife, holding his son for the first time, meeting King Flamel, Birdperson, and Squanchy all those years ago, seeing the births of all his grandchildren and their birthdays; the very sight bringing Rick to tears, much to Evil Rick's disbelief.

"Wait, you're crying; over your family and friends?!" Evil Rick said mockingly.

"No, I'm just allergic to sadistic pricks." Rick badly defended as he continued to cry.

"Ugh, you're pathetic. We both know that the ultimate truth to the multiverse is that Ricks _**don't care**_ about their families." Evil Rick harshly stated, only for the rampaging Lincolns and Mortys to appear and surround the evil scientist.

"Oh, yeah?! Bring it on you little bastards! You want to kill me, huh?! Do it! Do it!" Evil Rick yelled defiantly as the group relentlessly attacked him until he finally died.

Lincoln and Lisa made it to the lab mere moments after Evil Rick's death and ignored the fact that the group was still pummeling his corpse. As soon as they saw their grandfather, Lincoln and Lisa undid his restraints and hugged him affectionately.

"Thanks, kids. Now, I have two important things to do." Rick said as he reluctantly ended the embrace to free the tortured Mortys and Lincolns from the dome, much to their relief. He then grabbed a nearby phone and inputted the number to make a call back home.

"Hey, what's the best thing I can say right now?" Rick asked smugly to the Guard Rick that answered the phone.

" _Huh? Who is this?"_ the Guard Rick asked, confused.

"I found the real killer bitch! Lock into the dimensional coordinates and come over here!" Rick yelled excitedly as he ended the call, ignorant of the incredulous expression of the Guard Rick.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Kitchen) 6:50 PM**

Meanwhile, Rita and Dante had been enjoying Doofus Rick's company over coffee, only for a Guard Rick to emerge from the other room and harshly said, "Hey, ding-dong. Pack your things; we're going back."

Doofus Rick had a saddened expression on his face as he put down the coffee mug and stared at the duo apologetically. "Well, Rita and Dante, I guess this is goodbye."

"Wait, does it have to be?!" Rita pleaded desperately.

"I guess so, Rita." Dante said, somewhat saddened.

"No, I mean, he looks just like Rick! We could, you know…" Rita trailed off, only to meet her husband's firm stare and reluctantly stopped herself from finishing that sentence.

"He's right, Rita. It would never work out; I love you guys like you were my own kids." Doofus Rick said sincerely as he embraced them one last time before he left with the Guard Ricks. Rita formed a saddened expression that was somewhat alleviated by her husband's warm embrace.

 **Dimension EMRL-2367 (Evil Rick's Lab) 4:17 PM**

Soon enough, scores of Guard Ricks and Mortys arrived through their own portals and gently recaptured the imprisoned Mortys and Lincolns, with a few having to pull the attacking ones off the deceased Evil Rick's body. Surprisingly, all members of the Council arrived to aid the Guard Ricks.

"So, what's going to happen to all these Lincolns and Mortys?" Lincoln asked in concern.

"They'll return to their families, attend school regularly, play videogames, date girls…poor Rick-less little punks." Riq IV solemnly stated, watching his language around Lisa.

 **Citadel of Ricks (Council's Room) Unknown Time**

After they had arranged for all the alternate Mortys and Lincolns to go back to their own dimensions, the Council stood in front of Rick's group as part of a ceremony with the alternate Ricks, Mortys, and Lincolns staring in amazement.

"Earth Rick 0006-L, the Council apologizes for its horrible accusation and in the way of reparations offer you this." Riq IV said as one of the other Council members held out a box that he opened and pulled out a coupon emblazoned with every Loud siblings' face.

"This if a coupon for a free replacement Lincoln and/or one of his siblings if your Lincoln and/or one of his siblings…" Riq IV trailed off, ignoring the incredulous stares Lincoln and Lisa were giving him, which forced Rick to intervene.

"Uh, guys? Not a good time. Let's go home, kids." Rick said to the indignant Lincoln and Lisa, not even bothering to take the coupon behind their backs.

As they exited the Council's Room and made it outside, Lincoln and Lisa started to gush about their adventure.

"Wow, this was the coolest adventure we've ever been on!" Lincoln praised, having calmed down from before.

"Correction: the coolest one we've been on so far." Lisa remarked, even though she was smiling just as hard as Lincoln.

"Yeah, things got crazy back there. I'm just glad that there's still time to make it to Lucy's birthday." Rick remarked, which made Lincoln and Lisa nod in agreement.

"Grandpa, how come you're not like those Ricks?" Lincoln asked curiously.

"I guess it's because I'm not as messed up as they are and I had more reasons to stick around than most Ricks did." Rick revealed as he lovingly embraced the duo. "And it's been the greatest adventure of my life."

With that, Lincoln and Lisa smiled as they ended their embrace, which allowed Rick to create a portal back home in a nearby wall.

 **Dimension EMRL-2367 (Evil Rick's Lab) 4:55 PM**

"'Pride cometh before the fall'. I guess he got what he deserved." A Guard Rick coldly stated as he inspected Evil Rick's corpse while his cohorts ransacked his lab for any of the stolen data he obtained from the other Ricks.

"Wait, what the hell is that?" another Guard Rick stated as he pointed to the deep gash in Evil Rick's head, which had several wires exposed instead of blood.

"Hand me the laser defibulator." The first Guard Rick ordered as he held out his hand for the device.

"Hey, can I help?" Doofus Rick asked eagerly.

"No, go hang around the toilets. Maybe you'll make friends with some turds." The first Guard Rick coldly ordered, which made Doofus Rick comply as he slumped in defeat.

"You make us ashamed to be ourselves!" the second Guard Rick added as he handed the first one a pen-like device.

The first Guard Rick activated the device and properly opened Evil Rick's head with surgical precision. When he removed the top, they saw that his brain was purely cybernetic.

"My god, I've seen this technology before." The second Guard Rick stated, only to instead grab a small device from behind Evil Rick's left eyeball. "This Rick wasn't in control of his actions; controlled by someone else. This is the receiver!"

"Yeah, but who had the transmitter?" the first Guard Rick fearfully asked.

 **Citadel of Ricks (Transport Terminal) Unknown Time**

Meanwhile, Evil Morty and Lisa blended seamlessly into the crowd of alternate Mortys and Lincolns, with Evil Morty certain that he and his Lisa would be above suspicion, so long as they looked the part.

Reluctantly, Evil Morty removed his eyepatch, which was connected to a red wire and blue wire from his eyeball. He then threw the eyepatch device on the ground and coldly smashed it as he discretely hid his cybernetic wires from any prying eyes.

Evil Lisa stared at her big brother anxiously, only for Evil Morty to warmly smile and lovingly carry her as they walked into the crowd of Mortys and Lincolns, grateful that their plan had succeeded.

 **AN: And now, time to recap.**

 **The alternate dimensions: yeah, I ultimately changed most of them since I wanted to differentiate from the show and for some interesting dimensions that might be properly introduced later. I made the one from my other story in case I can't write for it anymore and to give some closure.**

 **Evil Morty and Lisa: yeah, that was something I added because with infinite possibilities, it's very easy that there's at least one reality where Morty has some of Lincoln's family and vice-versa. They may also reappear, but it's not set in stone.**

 **Introduction of the sister's waves: yeah, it was only because with Rick's canon explanation, it implied that the only reason he came back was for Morty and couldn't have cared less for Summer. It was intended to bring them to even ground and for some drama.**

 **The sister's lack of involvement: yeah, aside from their actions to prevent Rick, Lincoln, and Lisa from being captured, I couldn't really think of anything to do for them after that since most Ricks aren't as nice as theirs and Doofus Rick was meant to interact with Rita and to a lesser extent, Dante.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.**

 **Next Time—Chapter 10: Pageants and Simulations**


	10. Pageants and Simulations

**AN: Hello, everyone. I would like to thank you all for your support in** _ **Rick and the Louds**_ **, especially since it's reached over 100 reviews since my last chapter! It's been a delight to see how fast its grown and how fun it's been to write.**

 **Also, I have an announcement. While I wish that I could write for it, I've decided to stop writing for X-Tail, but it won't be the end of it. I have decided to allow ryanvanmatre8 to adopt it and I hope that they will do it justice. Given the circumstances, the original will still be up, but it will be discontinued. For any of my loyal readers who are seeing this right now, know that I am sorry.**

 **(Minor editing done)**

 **Now, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 10: Pageants and Simulations

 **Loud House Front Yard 9:00 AM**

It was a warm Saturday morning in the Loud House, which Lincoln, Lola, and Lana took advantage of. While the rest of their siblings stayed inside, the trio were engaged in their own activities, but Lincoln and Lola were doing the same one together.

" _Good, now turn and wave. More teeth. Less teeth. That's great._ Keep it up!" Lincoln said encouragingly through a bullhorn to Lola, abstaining from its use for the last part. He now wore a pink bandana on his head with the word, "Lola", in white.

While it wasn't strange for Lincoln to occasionally engage in his younger siblings' more feminine activities, he was particularly invested in helping Lola with her next pageant. He knew it was somewhat selfish, but the winner would get two season passes to the Dairyland amusement park. While it was tame to his adventures with Rick, especially after the interdimensional hijinks of the last one, Lincoln was still able to find enough enjoyment in ordinary Earth life to try.

As they continued practicing, they were blindsided as Lana chased her pet frog, Hops, through the mud. Thankfully, Lincoln had been able to safeguard Lola from the mud, which left him covered in it. Given how much he'd been through on Rick's adventures, Lincoln was more angered than disgusted from Lana's inadvertent actions.

"Lana, you should be more careful! Do you know how hard it is to steam-clean chiffon?" Lincoln said, lightly chastising his younger sister.

"Oh, sorry, Lincoln!" Lana replied sheepishly.

"It's fine. Just be more careful next time, okay?" Lincoln advised, which made Lana nod in agreement.

Suddenly, Rick arrived in his space cruiser and when he got out, he was holding an active bomb in his left hand and a handcuffed and gagged alien made of pancakes in his right hand.

"Lincoln, I need your help! The Breakfast People of the Scrambled Nebula have made a bomb that'll mutate everyone on Earth and turn them into breakfast foods, humans, plants, and animals! Y-Y-You need to be with me when I go up into space to defuse it!" Rick hastily explained.

"Uh, okay. But, I'm helping Lola with her pageant right now!" Lincoln pointed out, not wanting to disappoint her.

"Lincoln, in five minutes, there won't _**be**_ a pageant! We need to go, now!" Rick countered.

"Hey, I want to come!" Lola and Lana said simultaneously.

Suddenly, Rick formed a sheepish expression and sucked air through his teeth. "Oh, gee. Uh, listen, Mud Pie and Pink Sunshine, you can't come with us on this one."

"Aw, what?!" Lola and Lana yelled incredulously.

"Sorry, but I don't want you guys getting hurt. I only need Lincoln for this." Rick said sincerely, hoping that it would be enough to placate them. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

"Oh, come on! Please, grandpa?" Lana asked pleadingly.

"No." Rick said tersely.

"Pleeeease?" Lola asked sweetly, even forming her puppy-dog eyes.

"No." Rick said, albeit reluctantly.

"Pleeeease?" Lola and Lana asked sweetly, both forming puppy-dog eyes.

"N-No!" Rick yelled, only to heatedly add, "You kids aren't tall enough to go on this ride, okay?!"

Rick opened his eyes and saw the hurt expressions on Lola and Lana's faces, which made the elderly scientist frown in remorse. Before he could act, he saw that the countdown was rapidly approaching, which made him reluctantly leave with Lincoln as they went to deal with the bomb, leaving an indignant and saddened Lola and Lana behind.

"'You kids aren't tall enough to go on this ride?' What does that mean?!" Lana said fiercely, clenching her fists in anger, doing her best not to cry.

"Oh, it's so obvious! Grandpa Rick thinks that we're not as capable as Lincoln and the others are on missions!" Lola harshly inferred.

While Rick would've contested it, Lola had a point; whenever it came to the more dangerous missions, if he had to find someone other than Lincoln, he'd usually pick one of the older siblings, unless he had no choice. However, Lola and Lana felt inadequate after Lisa came back from her adventure with Rick and Lincoln, mostly because they were older than her, but they missed out on one of the more dangerous missions. Even though Rick didn't have a say in it, Lola and Lana couldn't help but feel self-conscious about how Rick saw them.

"Well, I say that when they get back, we show them that we're tough girls!" Lana declared as she flexed her non-existent muscles.

"How do we do that?" Lola asked.

"Hmm, well, I say that we show them how strong we are in a fight! Let's just fight the air around the yard so that we're nice and pumped!" Lana proposed, which made Lola nod in agreement.

With that, the twins began to engage in air-fighting as they traversed through the front yard. However, Lana had enough reason to avoid some of the misplaced toys that were scattered over the yard, but Lola was too preoccupied with proving herself to Rick. As they continued to air-fight, Lola was unaware that she was about to step on a can of hairspray that Lincoln had brought out for her.

Sadly, that turned out to be the least of her worries as Lana drew closer and accidentally punched Lola in her face, giving the young girl a black eye. Lana opened her eyes after feeling something hit her fist and gasped in shock when she realized that she hit Lola, but even more so when the impact caused Lola's feet to land on the hairspray can and fall on the sidewalk, which instantly broke her left arm and right leg.

Lana felt tears well up in her eyes as Lola cried out in pain, which aroused the remnants of the Loud family to come outside and gasp at her injuries. Rita and Dante were struggling not to cry as Dante rapidly called 9-1-1 while the remaining Loud siblings formed concerned looks, except for Lana who merely collapsed on her rear and clutched her chest.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor (Lola and Lana's Room) 4:36 PM**

After an impromptu visit to the emergency room, with Rick and Lincoln arriving a few minutes after Lola had been admitted, the family sighed in relief after Lola's emergency surgery. The doctor said that despite the severity of the injuries, Lola would be fully healed within two weeks, which was more than likely due to Rick's untraceable, healing nanobots in the bloodstreams of every one of the Loud kids; a procedure he'd done to prevent him from going back for those healing tears.

As such, she'd been permitted to come back home to heal, though under the strict condition that she'd be confined to her bed and with either Rick, her parents, or one of the older sisters to handle her needs until she was better. Surprisingly, she managed to prevent Lana from any punishment by claiming that she fell face-first onto the sidewalk, to account for her black eye. However, she refused to even talk to Lana on the ride home or when they got to their room.

Lola had been given a bell to ring in case of an emergency, but the doctor recommended that they keep their distance for the most part, with Lincoln respecting it, even though it meant that they wouldn't be able to win those tickets now. However, that was the last thing Lana wanted as she did everything she could to placate her injured sister.

"Lola, I am so sorry! I never wanted this to happen! Just…say something!" Lana pleaded as she fluffed Lola's pillows and covered her with a blanket. Still, Lola refused to even acknowledge Lana's presence and stared straight ahead at the wall.

Not knowing what to do, Lana slumped in defeat and reluctantly left the room, with Lola unaware of the tears in her twin sister's eyes.

 **Rick's Lab 8:27 AM**

The next day, Rick was begrudgingly working on a science project instead of comforting Lola and Lana for what he'd said prior to Lola's accident. Since Lola always called for her parents, one of her older sisters, or Lincoln to help, and Lana had been so crestfallen that she banished herself to the couch, Rick couldn't do anything for them right now, even though he wanted to.

As such, he continued his dissection of an alien, rat-like creature, only he looked at it apathetically.

"Ugh, th-th-this is just sloppy craftsmanship." Rick said dismissively to himself as Lincoln and Lana arrived, with Lincoln having a cheeky smile on his face, which contrasted Lana's crestfallen frown.

"Wow, it's a beautiful day, grandpa!" Lincoln said happily.

"Why are you so happy, Lincoln? Shouldn't you be more depressed that you didn't get those Dairyland tickets?" Lana asked apathetically, too depressed to try any other tone.

"Yeah, but hey, you win some, you lose some!" Lincoln replied as he lovingly poked at Lana's nose.

"Oh, feeling happy, today, Lincoln? It's almost unbelievable." Rick said dismissively.

"Yeah, it's just something about the air, the trees, and the sun today, grandpa." Lincoln said blissfully.

"Sure, Linc. Very convincing." Rick said apathetically.

"Convincing? What, grandpa?" Lincoln asked, confused.

"Oh, responsive too! In real-time! I love it!" Rick said sarcastically.

"Grandpa, what's going on?" Lana asked, her depression faltering from the situation.

Suddenly, Lori arrived with the injured Lola and placed her in Rick's arms. Strangely, Lori's expression was cold and emotionless, almost robot-like.

"Here is Lola. I'm going to the mall with Bobby. Goodbye." Lori said robotically as she stiffly walked towards the family van, Vanzilla, and drove off to the mall.

Given Lola's sudden appearance, Lola and Lana formed an uncomfortable silence, which allowed Lincoln and Rick to continue conversing.

"That was weird. Lori was acting kind of strange." Lincoln remarked as Rick gently cradled the injured Lola and put her on his bed.

"Oh, Lori's acting strange! You're so sophisticated. Careful guys, you're going to burn out the CPU with this one!" Rick said sarcastically towards the sky, much to Lincoln, Lola, and Lana's confusion.

"Okay, no offense grandpa, but you're acting pretty weird too. I'm going to the arcade with Clyde." Lincoln said dismissively as he turned to leave, which made Rick form an uneasy expression as he left, much to Lola and Lana's confusion.

"Grandpa, what's going on?" Lola asked.

Rick stared at them for a few moments and said, "Well, I guess you kids are tall enough now. Come on!"

With that, Rick carried Lola to the space cruiser as Lana followed close behind. While she wasn't, sure what was going on and knew that Lola wasn't talking to her, Lana wanted to know and secretly hoped that this could at least get Lola to notice her again. Soon enough, Rick safely strapped Lola in the front seat with Lana taking one of the back seats as Rick drove the cruiser towards Lincoln's location.

 **Gus' Games and Grub 8:35 AM**

Soon enough, Rick's group had arrived, with Rick parking his cruiser in a vacant spot. While Rick could've activated the 4th Dimensional Drift Drive, he needed to get Lola and Lana talking again, so he decided to give them more time. Unfortunately, this hadn't worked as the twins remained in a tense silence throughout the trip.

Still, they didn't have any time to waste as Rick cradled Lola while Lana followed closely behind them. The trio entered the arcade/pizzeria and saw Lincoln expertly dancing as several onlookers cheered him on, including Ronnie Anne and Clyde. He'd been playing the game, _Dance Battle_ , and was currently closing in on the high score.

Suddenly, the crowd erupted in cheers as Lincoln finished the game, with the machine announcing, _"Ultimate High Score: 8,000,0000! You are a Dance Master!"_

As Lincoln cheered, Ronnie Anne suddenly embraced him and passionately kissed him on the lips, which made Lincoln's face turn bright red. When it ended, Lincoln had a goofy smile on his face as he was suddenly hoisted by the remaining crowd in praise and crowd-surfed him to the owner, Gus.

Gus was a slender, fair skinned man in his late 70s with thinning white hair, a thick moustache, and green eyes. He wore a red polo shirt, blue jeans, and brown loafers. Currently, he held a camera in his right hand and a golden plaque in his left.

"Congratulations, Lincoln Loud! You've earned this coveted plaque, which will go in the Hall of Fame!" Gus declared as he handed Lincoln the plaque and took his picture for posterity.

"Wow, this is starting to be the best day of my life!" Lincoln happily declared, only for Gus to unexpectedly hoist him and put him down on top of the snack counter.

"Now, then, what are you going to do with this newfound success, Lincoln?" Gus asked, which made the rest of the crowd look in excitement for his response.

"Well, I don't…know." Lincoln answered sheepishly.

"How about traveling to a bunch of planets with some concentrated dark matter?" Clyde asked, much to Lincoln's confusion.

"Uh, what, Clyde?" Lincoln asked.

"Yeah, doesn't your grandpa know how to make it? Didn't he show it to you?" Clyde asked, although his tone had turned slightly terser.

"Well, I don't think he uses it much, anymore." Lincoln sheepishly answered.

Suddenly, Ronnie Anne jumped on the counter and removed her hoodie, which revealed a tight, black tank-top underneath. Granted, Ronnie Anne wasn't developed due to her age, but it was enough to get Lincoln's blood pumping as he formed a bright, red blush.

"If you tell us, I'll let you get upstairs-outsidies." Ronnie Anne proposed seductively, which made Lincoln form a small nosebleed.

Suddenly, Rick intervened and grabbed Lincoln's arm with his right hand while his left arm gently cradled the injured Lola. However, Gus intervened and pulled on Lincoln's other arm, an angered expression on his face.

"No way, Rick! If he leaves, I'm rescinding his award!" Gus angrily stated, much to Lincoln's shock. However, Rick took Lincoln anyway, much to the young boy's disappointment.

"He doesn't care!" Rick tersely stated as he dragged a disappointed Lincoln outside, with Lana following them.

When they arrived at the parking lot, Rick opened the hatch on his space cruiser and gently placed Lola inside. Rick then turned to his grandson and said, "Okay, what I'm about to say is going to look really bad, but you need to trust me."

"Grandpa, I think that I was about to get to second base with Ronnie Anne and I lost my award!" Lincoln protested.

"That doesn't matter right now, Lincoln! I need you to get your clothes off!" Rick hastily yelled as he stripped himself down, much to Lincoln, Lola, and Lana's confusion. However, Lola and Lana averted their eyes, only for Rick to make them stare at him, but he was only clad in his underwear.

"Girls, this is going to sound really bad, but you guys need to get your clothes off too." Rick advised, which made Lana smile, but Lola blush madly.

"What?!" Lola yelled indignantly.

"Oh, yeah!" Lana cheered as she gleefully removed her clothes.

"Grandpa, this is crazy!" Lincoln protested, only for Rick to strip the boy down to his underwear, much to Lincoln's embarrassment.

"Girls, avert your eyes and keep staring up for this next part." Rick advised, with Lola and Lana complying.

With their eyes averted, Rick stripped himself and Lincoln of their underwear and bunched all the discarded clothes in the cruiser. However, Lola was the only one fully-clothed, which made Rick sigh in exasperation.

"Lola, you need to get naked." Rick said tersely as he moved Lola's head to meet his eyes.

"Are you crazy?! I'm not going to run around naked anywhere! I have a reputation to uphold!" Lola yelled defiantly, only to be harshly stripped of her dress and underwear by Rick, much to her shock as she hastily covered herself with her one good hand.

"Lola, you shouldn't cover your hoo-ha. You need to trust me!" Rick advised.

"I don't want you to see that part of me, grandpa!" Lola yelled in embarrassment.

"Come on, sis. It feels so free." Lana nudged.

"I'm still not talking to you, Lana." Lola said dismissively.

"Uh, you just did, Lola." Lincoln pointed out, much to Lola's embarrassment.

Suddenly, Rick laid a comforting hand on her back and said, "Hey, I was there when all of you were born and I changed your diapers. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Lola."

Lola contemplated Rick's words before she came to a decision. Reluctantly, she removed her hand from her crotch, which allowed Rick to cradle her as they started to walk away from the cruiser.

However, she shot an incriminating glare at Lincoln and yelled, "If you look at me, you're dead!", much to Lincoln's unease as he hastily looked away from her.

"Grandpa, not that I don't mind, but what's going on?" Lana asked.

"Kids, this isn't the real world. We're inside a simulation chamber on an alien ship!" Rick revealed, much to the trio's shock.

"Wait, what?!" the trio yelled incredulously.

"It's all fake, kids. It's all done with nanobots, but I couldn't say anything until we could get out of these clothes. They won't monitor us like this." Rick elucidated.

"Monitor us?!" the trio yelled incredulously, each forming an embarrassed blush.

"Don't worry; its Zigerion scammers. They're the most ambitious, least successful con artists in the glazy, but they're uncomfortable with nudity." Rick reassured, much to the group's relief.

 **Zigerion Ship (Monitor Room) Unknown Time**

In a colossal spaceship, orbiting an unknown, barren planet, were several Zigerions monitoring Rick's group, albeit reluctantly given their nudity.

The Zigerions were humanoid aliens with four arms and a pink to purple skin tone. They had elongated heads with a small number of spiky protrusions. They also had long antenna-like appendages that served as their ears. They each wore white gloves, matching boots, kneepads, and a red or yellow one-piece uniform with a green triangle on a black circle.

"Ugh, sir, they're still naked!" a random Zigerion said to their leader, Prince Nebulon.

While there was hardly a difference between him and the other members of his species, Prince Nebulon wore a golden cape with a matching, triangular belt buckle and red uniform.

"Well, check every five quintons and tell me when they're not naked, Raymond!" Prince Nebulon said dismissively, avoiding the several monitors that depicted Rick's naked group.

"I think we should make, Kevin look, sir." Raymond teasingly stated as he pointed towards Kevin.

Kevin had light, purplish skin, wore triangular-lensed glasses, and was clad in a yellow uniform.

"W-What? No! W-W-Why would you even say that?" Kevin badly denied.

"And Stu, why is there more than one human in the simulator in the first place?! Where's the Abductions Department Supervisor, Craig?!" Prince Nebulon yelled incredulously.

"Hey, bro, we just follow the acquisition order. Right, Johnny?" Craig said dismissively.

"Don't blame this on acquisitions! We only acquire humans who haven't been simulated!" Johnny angrily retorted.

"Well, simulations don't simulate anyone that's been abducted, so…" Kevin smugly pointed out.

"Oh, well, that's just fan-freaking-tastic! It was no one's fault!" Prince Nebulon said sarcastically, and then formed an angered expression. "Except, now, we have more humans than we expected!"

"It'll be fine, sir. We won't lose processing power with more humans in the same simulator." Stu stated placatingly.

Prince Nebulon sighed dismissively and said, "Well, fine. Let's just hope that they won't throw too much of a wrench in our plans. Pull up what data you can on them to see if they know, but Rick Sanchez is the target."

 **Simulated Royal Woods 9:00 AM**

Meanwhile, Rick's group had been traversing throughout the simulated version of Royal Woods, which gave them time to ask Rick some questions.

"Grandpa, what's going on with these Zigerions?" Lincoln asked as he covered his crotch with his hands, only for Rick to pull them away.

"Lincoln, keep your hands off your ding-dong! We all need to speak freely right now, but everyone needs to avert your eyes from each other's nudity." Rick advised.

Suddenly, Rick nudged Lincoln and Lana towards the simulated Royal Woods inhabitants, and said, "Take a good look, kids. There's a lot of things the Zigerions got wrong with this w-world." Rick then pointed towards a random man in a ballerina costume and said, "Like that guy! Why would they program him to wear something like that?"

"That's just Ballerina Frank, grandpa. He wears that all the time." Lincoln pointed out, which made Rick groan in exasperation as he pointed to another simulated person.

"Well, what about that old lady walking a dead fish?" Rick stated as he pointed towards an old woman doing that.

"That's Ms. Rosenbaum. She does that all the time." Lola apathetically stated.

"Okay, what about that?!" Rick declared as he pointed towards a large, toaster-like house, where a sentient Pop-Tart emerged, wearing a blue tie and a gray hat. He then opened his garage and took out a small, toaster-like car and drove it away, which made Lincoln, Lola, and Lana gasp incredulously.

"Okay, you might be onto something there, grandpa." Lincoln admitted.

"Oh, really, Lincoln? Have you never seen something like that before?" Rick asked smugly.

"No, but, why would a Pop-Tart want to live inside a toaster? Those commercials are really disturbing." Lana stated, ignoring what Rick meant.

"You're missing the point, Mud Pie. Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels? Does our house look like a smaller version of our car?" Rick stated, comedically ignoring his own point as they continued to traverse this false world.

"So, why are these Zigerions doing this?" Lincoln asked.

"Well, that's obvious if you guys remembered what happened back at the arcade." Rick pointed out, only for a news van to arrive and stop in front of them. The back of the van opened to reveal a female reporter and cameraman, with the former carrying a microphone.

"Lola Loud, to become the next _Ms. Prim and Perfect_ , please answer this question: how do you make concentrated dark matter?" the female reporter asked as she held a microphone to Lola's mouth, which made Rick harshly shove the duo back into their van before fiercely slamming the door.

"Concentrated dark matter? They were asking Lincoln how to make it back at the arcade." Lola stated.

"Yeah, it's a special fuel I invented that powers the 4th Dimensional Drift Drive in my cruiser. If those Zigerions got their hands on it, they could do a lot of bad things to the galaxy." Rick revealed.

"Wait, what about the one that crash-landed on that planet when you were teaching Leni how to drive?" Lincoln asked.

"I made sure to blow that one to smithereens after I fixed the portal gun. It was a lot easier to destroy it than to fix it when I have a legion of cruisers just like it." Rick revealed, only to form a serious expression as he motioned himself towards Lincoln and Lana, though he made sure that Lola was looking at him as well.

"These Zigerions are always trying to scam me out of my secrets, but they made a big mistake this time; they brought you three into it. Now, they're all going to pay for it." Rick said seriously.

"What are we going to do, grandpa?" Lincoln asked.

"We're going to scam the scammers, kids. Then, we'll take them for everything they've got." Rick said cryptically as he huddled them together to formulate his plan.

 **Simulated Royal Woods Park 10:36 AM**

After retrieving their clothes from Rick's cruiser, the group managed to find a simulated stage meant for the simulated Mick Swagger's band in the park. Strangely, he hadn't shown up, so they decided to put Rick's plan into action.

"Okay, just follow my lead, kids." Rick advised as he gently put Lola down in a nearby chair backstage.

"I don't know about his, grandpa. You know that I'm tone-deaf and I have stage fright." Lana mentioned nervously.

"Hey, don't worry, Mud Pie. None of these guys are real people and if the plan works, we won't even need to sing at all." Rick said reassuringly, which made the young tomboy smile.

"Grandpa's right, Lana. Let's do this!" Lincoln declared confidently as the trio walked through the curtain.

"Good luck, guys!" Lola said encouragingly, although disappointed that she couldn't help due to her injuries.

With that, the trio arrived onstage to see a small group of people gathered around them. While Rick and Lincoln kept their cool, Lana's eyes went wide and started sweating profusely.

" _Uh, oh kids! This crowd looks a little small for one of our concerts! I don't think we can perform our new song_ The Recipe for Concentrated Dark Matter _for a crowd this small!"_ Rick egged on through his microphone.

" _Yeah, that's right, grandpa!"_ Lincoln added, although Lana only managed to say incoherent mumbling, which increased as several more simulated people came into the park.

" _Now, that's more like it! Everyone say, 'hey-o'!"_ Rick declared, which made the crowd comply.

" _All the ladies say, 'yeah'! Everyone over thirty-two, wiggle your pinkies! Everyone with a red shirt, jump up and down!"_ Rick declared, which made all the simulated people comply, unaware that they were starting to glitch.

" _Now, everyone over fifty, walk in a straight line while doing jumping jacks, the same number of times as the square root of your age times ten!"_ Rick declared, which progressively slowed down the simulated people, until it stopped completely.

With that, Rick hastily grabbed Lola from backstage while Lincoln and Lana closely followed him, but Lana seemed to be lagging for some reason.

"Lana, what's going on? We need to get out of here before the system reboots!" Rick yelled fearfully, only to see Lana's hands in her crotch and hear her whimpering softly.

"You know how I mentioned I have stage fright? Well, with that many people, simulated or not, really screws with me, especially my bladder." Lana nervously revealed, which made Rick sigh in exasperation.

"You have to pee, now?! We need to get out of here!" Lola insensitively yelled, which made Rick turn to her and point out, "Lola, you're not helping!"

Rick then pinched the ridge of his nose and said, "Okay, just try to hold it in and you can use one of theirs. We need to get out of here, Mud Pie."

Lana reluctantly nodded as Rick held her in his other arm so that he and Lincoln could run freely towards wherever Rick was heading.

"Grandpa, where are we going?" Lincoln asked.

"Please, not so fast." Lana begged.

"Sorry, Mud Pie, but we've got to get out of here! You see, the chamber acts like a treadmill; with the virtual world disappearing behind us as its being rendered in front of us!" Rick revealed as they wound up at the edge of the rendered simulation. "While it's frozen, we can reach the edge. Let's go!" Rick declared as he landed on the floor of the Zigerion's ship, which unfortunately agitated Lola's injuries and uncomfortably jostled Lana's bladder, which made the twins groan upon impact.

"Whoa! This is cool!" Lincoln said, amazed by the Zigerion ship.

"Whatever, let's just get out of here!" Lola remarked.

"And preferably to a bathroom, or a bucket!" Lana squealed as she jammed her hands into her crotch.

"Don't worry. We will!" Rick said reassuringly as they left the simulation chamber.

 **Zigerion Ship (Monitor Room) Unknown Time**

"Sir, it appears that they are leaving the simulator." Stu said.

"Yes, yes they are. Just as planned." Prince Nebulon said smugly as he started to laugh maniacally, with all the workers joining in soon after.

"Oh, this is going to be a royal mind screw!" Prince Nebulon declared.

 **Zigerion Ship (Interior) Unknown Time**

Rick's group emerged into a random hallway on the Zigerion ship, with Rick moving slightly faster than Lincoln due to Lana's urgency.

"Lincoln, keep an eye out for the Central Processing Room. That's how we're going to scam these idiots." Rick advised, only for Lana's whimpering to remind him of the other issue. "Oh, and a bathroom for your sister."

"Really hope we find the bathroom first." Lana said pleadingly.

"We better; you're not doing that when we're in Grandpa Rick's arms, Lana!" Lola yelled incredulously.

"Oh, so you're finally talking to me again?" Lana said sarcastically.

"Yeah, so?! Your stupid stage fright made this mission harder than it's supposed to be!" Lola pointed out.

"At least I'm not holding a grudge! I kept on trying to tell you I was sorry!" Lana yelled back.

"You ruined my pageant before it started, Lana! And, better a grudge than a filled bladder!" Lola retorted.

"It'd be worse if this was reversed! You can't even walk to a bathroom without help for the next two weeks!" Lana pointed out.

"And whose fault is that?!" Lola yelled incredulously.

"It was an accident, Lola! You know that I wouldn't hurt you like this intentionally!" Lana defended, only to start crying. "I didn't want this, Lola! We've…we've always been together and when that happened…I couldn't even breathe!" Lana admitted, which made Lola's heart sink.

"Lana, I…I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way." Lola said, forming her own tears.

Lana snorted slightly and lightly punched Lola in her good arm before saying, "Why do you think I was trying so hard to get you to talk to me? I love you, Lola."

Lola smiled warmly before returning the favor and said, "I love you too, Lana."

"Glad you two finally worked that out." Rick said warmly, wishing to embrace the two, but knew that was a bad idea, given their respective situations. He then stopped in front of a door with the Zigerion equivalent of a women's bathroom symbol.

"Oh, finally!" Lana declared, only to blush as she turned her head towards Rick. "Uh, grandpa, can you help me? I'm kind of on the verge of exploding, here."

"No problem, but we'll need to take Lola too." Rick said as they walked into the bathroom.

"That's fine. I kind of need to go too." Lola admitted sheepishly.

Lincoln waited outside for them to finish, and after a few minutes, the twins came out with relieved smiles on their faces.

"Feel better, guys?" Lincoln asked, which made Lola and Lana nod in agreement as Rick gently put the latter on the floor.

"Good, now let's find that CPU." Rick stated, only to notice that the room was directly in front of them. "Oh, that's convenient."

With that, Rick's group opened the door and saw several purple towers, each with several blue crystals embedded into them.

"Lincoln, Lana, grab as many mini-processors as you can. These idiots aren't good at much, but they make the best versions of these things." Rick stated, with Lincoln and Lana complying.

"Wait, isn't this technically stealing?" Lincoln asked.

"Lincoln, these punks trapped us in a simulator to try and steal information from me. We've more than earned this." Rick justified as he grabbed a few that he stored in his pockets. While he could've grabbed enough to fill his lab coat, Lola's safety was the priority right now.

Soon enough, Rick's group came out with several mini-processors as they continued traversing the ship. It wasn't long until they reached where the escape pods were, but they were being guarded by two muscular Zigerions in red uniforms.

Rick took out one of the mini-processors and threw it ahead of them, which alerted the two guards. As they went to investigate, Rick's group discretely headed into a surprisingly vacant escape pod and left the ship.

"Wow, that was pretty easy." Lincoln admitted.

"What can I say? Those Zigerions are total morons!" Rick said excitedly.

"I was kind of hoping that there'd be a little more of a chase or something." Lana stated, somewhat disappointed.

"Well, whatever. We're finally going back home!" Lola declared happily.

"Believe it, Pink Sunshine! Once again, I'm leaving with everything I can carry and those Zigerions got nothing of mine!" Rick said confidently as he punched in the coordinates back home.

 **Rick's Lab 5:00 PM**

Strangely, the trio arrived back home in record time, considering how far away they were. The pod stopped in front of the lab and opened, which allowed Rick's group to enter. Rick, Lincoln, and Lana deposited the mini-processors onto Rick's workbench.

"We did it kids! Now, I'll be able to make a lot of important science stuff with these mini-processors." Rick said as he opened a nearby cabinet, which housed several small, brown books. Rick lightly pulled on the one from the far left, which slid away to reveal a large, silver safe with a keypad. Rick then punched in his usual code, only for the safe to deny him access.

"Wait, what? I totally put that in right." Rick said incredulously as he repeated the process, only to once again be denied.

Suddenly, the entire interior of Rick's lab started to disappear, which revealed it to be another simulation. As the world faded, Rick's group fell harshly on the floor, all the mini-processors breaking in the process, but oddly, didn't fade away.

"Oh, what's this? What is this?" Prince Nebulon asked Rick sarcastically as he and two Zigerion guards emerged from the room Rick's group had previously gone into. He then formed a smug smirk and said, "It looks like you're inside a simulation, inside another simulation! You're still on the ship, Sanchez!"

"Uh, sir? The doctor's appointment to examine the discoloration of your butthole flaps was…" a somewhat portly, female Zigerion said, clad in a yellow uniform.

"Too loud, Cynthia. Too loud and too specific." Prince Nebulon said tersely.

"What's going on here?" Lola and Lana asked simultaneously.

"Well, kids, we've known how to make concentrated dark matter for a long time!" Prince Nebulon said condescendingly as he knelt to their eye level. "And now, we finally know the code to your grandfather's sacred safe! All of his secrets will now be ours!" Prince Nebulon declared haughtily, only to suddenly bring out two red lollipops, which he gave to Lola and Lana. "Enjoy, kids."

"Yeah, until I go back home and change it, you idiot! Rick declared spitefully, and then turned his head towards the twins, his expression sincere. "Also, kids, never eat candy from a stranger."

"You don't have to tell us, twice." Lola and Lana said as they threw their lollipops on the floor.

"Your grandkids had their chance to do this quietly. Seize them!" Prince Nebulon declared as the two guards grabbed Rick's group. However, Rick escaped from one of the guard's grasp and pulled down Lincoln's pants, which made the guards, Prince Nebulon, and the twins avert their eyes. Seizing the opportunity, Rick pulled Lincoln's pants back up and escaped with the trio.

 **Zigerion Ship (Interior) Unknown Time**

As they ran through the ship, Rick's group went into a large room where the ceiling and walls were coated with aliens trapped in green, hexagonal prisons. In the center was a large, metallic device that created a bridge for the group to use when they arrived.

Soon enough, several Zigerion guards came after them, with Rick finding a lever that controlled the gravity in the room. He pulled the lever down, which deactivated the artificial gravity and allowed his group to float towards the top. However, a few guards had managed to pursue them, with one of them grabbing onto Lincoln's foot, but the white-haired boy effortlessly kicked it off with his free foot.

Eventually, Rick's group made it to the top, where it had an identical machine. Rick quickly floated towards the lever and pulled it up, which restored the gravity as his group landed on the floor of the machine. Thankfully, the guards weren't so lucky as they plummeted to their deaths.

When they arrived to where the escape pods were, Rick sighed in exasperation when he noticed how many guards were patrolling the area. The group quickly went into a door marked, "Development Department", which enabled Rick to manually damage the lock on the other side of the door to stall their pursuers.

Sadly, it didn't last long, which forced Rick's group to retreat into the experimental maze of the Zigerions. Thankfully, a few of their experiments managed to stall the guards as they ran through several fake environments until they reached the elevator, with Rick pressing the button for the hangar.

Soon enough, they arrived at the hangar, which stored several ships, ripe for the taking. Rick spotted a suitable one and snapped the neck of a guard before commandeering the ship. He gently laid Lola in a nearby chair as he and Lincoln took the pilot and co-pilot seat, respectively. Lana was ecstatic that she was in the gunner's seat, but her heart raced as they narrowly escaped through the closing hangar door.

A few Zigerion ships emerged from outside the hangar, blasting red lasers at Rick's commandeered ship.

"Oh, man! They're right on our tail, grandpa!" Lincoln yelled fearfully as he looked at the radar, which depicted several Zigerion ships coming after them.

"Well, it looks like he wasn't lying. They do have the recipe for concentrated dark matter!" Rick stated fearfully.

"Well, you know how to make it too, right grandpa?" Lincoln asked, albeit hesitantly.

"Yeah, we just need cesium, plutonic quarks, and bottle water. Check the engine room!" Rick ordered, which Lincoln complying.

"I don't know how to work these controls, grandpa!" Lana said fearfully as she missed several shots at the Zigerions.

"Don't worry. It'll all be over when Lincoln comes back with the supplies." Rick said reassuringly.

"Well, he better hurry! I'm too young and pretty to die!" Lola said fearfully.

As if on cue, Lincoln arrived with the exact ingredients in his arms. "I got the supplies, grandpa!" Lincoln declared confidently.

"You actually found some? Whatever, just grab that bucket." Rick stated as he pointed to a nearby bucket.

"What do I do now, grandpa?" Lincoln asked.

"Okay, its two parts plutonic quarks and one part cesium." Rick stated, with Lincoln complying as he poured the ingredients into the bucket and stirred it for good measure.

"Now, what?" Lincoln asked.

"Now, just pour all the water in and put in in the fuel tank so that we can get away from these punks!" Rick commanded, only for Lincoln to stare blankly into space.

"Lincoln, what are you doing?!" Lola asked incredulously.

"We're all about to die, Linc! Empty the water!" Lana yelled fearfully.

"Lincoln, listen to your…oh crap." Rick stated as he eyes widened, with the world fading just as it had done before. Only this time, Lincoln went with it, which revealed that he and their entire adventure was just a simulation.

"What the?!" Lola and Lana yelled incredulously.

"Damn it! Damn it!" Rick chastised himself as the real Prince Nebulon and his crew emerged from the other room, laughing at Rick's apparent misfortune.

"Oh, my god, Rick. How can you and your grandkids be this stupid?" Prince Nebulon asked condescendingly, and then gestured towards the simulation room. "You're inside a simulation, of a simulation, inside another simulation! We never had the recipe for concentrated dark matter, but we do now! We do now, sucker!"

"You went to the trouble of realistically simulating my only grandson's genitals?! Oh, you sick, sick bastards!" Rick angrily yelled as two Zigerion guards restrained him and the twins.

"Kevin fought long and hard for that chance. Phrasing, boom!" Raymond mocked.

"You said you weren't going to tell anyone! I'm never going to live this down, am I?" Kevin said, mostly to himself.

"If it's any consolation, we could've done the same to any of your grandchildren. We just thought it'd be easier with the one with white hair! Oh, right, you made that happen all those years ago, when his mother was still pregnant with him." Prince Nebulon said mockingly to Rick.

"We've moved past that. Now, if you bastards are done screwing with me, can I go home with my granddaughters, now?" Rick asked, fiercely gazing at Prince Nebulon's eyes.

"I don't know; can you?" Stu asked mockingly, which made Prince Nebulon high-five him.

"Nice one, Stu." Prince Nebulon said sincerely, only for his expression to turn to apathy. "Okay, take him back, now. I'm done with him." Prince Nebulon said as he turned to walk away, only to come back with his cell phone. "Ooh, let me get a picture!" Prince Nebulon said excitedly as he took a picture of Rick, who'd been analyzing the room since the reveal.

"Grandpa Rick, what are you doing?" Lana asked.

"Oh, he's just checking to see if he's still in a simulation. Are you Rick? Are you?" Prince Nebulon said cryptically, only for his face to turn to apathy. "You're not." Suddenly, it turned cryptic again as he said, "Or are you?"

With that, the guards took Rick, Lola, and Lana towards the escape pods, with Prince Nebulon smugly saying as they left, "Oh and I _**don't**_ have discolored butthole flaps! That was just part of the simulation!"

"Oh, should I cancel that appointment, sir?" Cynthia asked.

"Of, course you should!" Prince Nebulon yelled, only to rescind that when Rick's group left the room. "No, keep it. Move it up if you can." He discretely said to Cynthia.

 **Zigerion Escape Pod Unknown Time**

Soon enough, Rick's group was finally able to come back home as he punched in the coordinates. However, he noticed that Lola and Lana had disturbed expressions on their faces. Rick inwardly sighed to himself, knowing that they'd only gotten involved in this mission because of him.

"Hey, you guys shouldn't worry about it. This w-w-was just back luck, you know? I mean, you guys did alright back there, all things considered." Rick said encouragingly.

"You were right." Lola and Lana glumly said simultaneously.

"What do you mean?" Rick asked, concerned.

"You were right, okay? About what you said yesterday." Lola admitted as she lightly cried.

"It's true; I didn't want to believe it, but we're _**not**_ tall enough to go this ride." Lana added as she joined Lola.

Rick then put the pod on auto-pilot and embraced the twins, much to their surprise, but not nearly as much with what Rick had to say next.

"I'm tall enough to go on every ride, but you kids are why they're still fun." Rick said sincerely, which warmed Lola and Lana's hearts as they gleefully returned his embrace. Rick smiled warmly as he ended the embrace and handed them each a pair of earmuffs from his right coat pocket, blue for Lana, pink for Lola.

"Uh, you kids might want to put these on right now." Rick advised, much to Lola and Lana's confusion. However, they shrugged indifferently and complied, with Rick eyeing the Zigerion's ship in anticipation.

"Any moment now, you bastards." Rick softly said to himself.

 **Zigerion Ship (Monitor Room) Unknown Time**

After celebrating their apparent victory over Rick, Prince Nebulon opened the fuel valve for the space station. He then began to pour the ingredients in the order Rick had shown him.

"Okay, two parts plutonic quarks, one part cesium…" Prince Nebulon said, only to turn towards his people before he added the last ingredient.

"Uh, listen, I'm so sorry for yelling earlier. I really couldn't have asked for better other survivors from our nearly extinct race. I love you guys and I love your families; they're the last hope for our species since we don't have any colonies. I mean, we're all that's left, and I couldn't be happier." Prince Nebulon said sincerely before he innocently poured in the bottled water.

 **Zigerion Escape Pod Unknown Time**

Suddenly, the Zigerion ship violently exploded, certainly wiping out the remnants of the scamming species. While Lola and Lana felt the aftershocks, Rick smiled triumphantly, knowing that he'd never be put through such an ordeal ever again. He took a small sip from his flask as he disengaged the auto-pilot and flew the ship back home.

 **AN: And now, time to recap.**

 **Lack of subplot: Yeah, I was debating on whether to bring Rita to take Jerry's place in the chapter, but I feel like it wouldn't have been as convincing since Rita isn't as gullible as Jerry…although,** _ **No Such Luck**_ **might've contradicted that. Still, the focus was meant to be on Lola and Lana for this chapter. Speaking of which…**

 **Lana being responsible for Lola's injuries: Yeah, I needed there to be a reason to bring in both when I realized that there wasn't much I could do with** _ **Toads and Tiaras**_ **and for the fact that Lana wasn't even remotely concerned with Lola's injuries in the canon episode. Also, Lola and Lana are kind of a package deal, too. While I liked** _ **Frog Wild**_ **and** _ **A Tattler's Tale**_ **, they're meant to be together for a chapter, in my opinion.**

 **Lana's tone deafness and stage fright: Yeah, that isn't really canon, but given her performance in** _ **Patching Things Up**_ **and her inability to masquerade as Lola in** _ **Toads and Tiaras**_ **, she does have some degree of performance anxiety.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.**

 **Next time—Chapter 11: Loud House Party**


	11. Loud House Party

**AN: Hello, everyone. I would like to thank you all for your support in Rick and the Louds and to clarify what happened in the last chapter.**

 **My decision to use Lola and Lana to join Rick: Yeah, I mentioned that I wanted to do chapters focusing on the Loud sisters with little to no involvement from Lincoln, and Lola and Lana were the last ones. It also would've been very awkward for me to use one of the older Loud sisters for that scene.**

 **Also, I would like to apologize for how long this one took, but I have recently started college and I was a bit invested in my other story. Still, all good things come to those who wait, so enjoy!**

 **Now, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 11: Loud House Party

 **Loud House (Front Yard) 12:25 PM**

It had been a surprisingly quiet Saturday morning for the Loud house. While there would ordinarily be some chaos from the kid's antics or Rick's experiments, things were eerily calm as Dante and Rita entered Vanzilla to go to their 18th anniversary. The kids and Rick gathered around the family van as Dante and Rita stared at Rick authoritatively. Thankfully, Lola's injuries had finally healed, so she didn't need Rick to carry her.

"Now, Rick, we're entrusting you to take care of our kids for the rest of the day until we come back tomorrow morning." Rita said seriously.

"It's a big responsibility, dad. This isn't one-on-one time; it's all at once." Dante added.

"Son, relax. Nothing bad is going to happen with me in charge." Rick said reassuringly.

"That's exactly what we're afraid of." Rita deadpanned.

"Mom, we've literally been over this a bunch of times; grandpa can take care of us." Lori stated.

"Yeah, give him a chance. Most of us are pretty well-behaved already, you know." Leni added.

"Things are going to be rocking with grandpa, guys!" Luna said excitedly.

"Give the old guy a chance. After all, old age _ **crepes**_ up on you!" Luan joked, which only elicited groans from her siblings, but a smile from Rick and Dante.

"Bad jokes aside, grandpa's a pretty good guy." Lynn said sincerely.

"If I hadn't already devoted my soul to Edwin, I would give you it to you to prove my faith in grandpa." Lucy darkly said, which made her siblings take a few steps away from her.

"Anyway, things will be totally awesome!" Lana chimed in.

"Yeah, what are the odds that something bad is going to happen?" Lola innocently asked.

"Very high, but manageable." Lisa deadpanned.

"Hey, after everything that's been going on, I think that we can handle it." Lincoln stated confidently.

Dante and Rita stared at Rick for a few moments before they relented and left for their honeymoon.

Suddenly, the second they left, a large explosion came from Rick's lab that blew the door wide open. A large, green, dragon-like creature emerged with damaged wings. It ran on its hind legs and inexplicably ripped off the garage door before it flew away, much to astonishment of the Loud siblings. However, Lori's expression turned somewhat mischievous after a few moments.

"Well, we're past the point of no return. I'm going to have a party." Lori said happily.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Kitchen) 12:30 PM**

After her declaration, the other Loud kids attempted to talk some sense into Lori, but to no avail. As such, they still protested as Lori called one of her friends on her cellphone.

" _Yeah, it's literally going to be off the chain…within reason. I'm literally serious, Tammy. Don't bring your mom's vodka bottle. No one underage in this house gets drunk or high."_ Lori said as she conversed with Tammy on her phone and promptly ended it after a few moments.

"Lori, you _**can't**_ have a party!" Lincoln chastised.

"Grandpa Rick might get into trouble!" Leni added.

"Mom and dad could totally end his adventures with us if that happens!" Luna yelled fearfully.

"Yeah, we've all gotten some seriously good moments with grandpa because of them!" Lynn pointed out, only for her communication crystal to glow bright orange through her left shorts pocket, a sight that brought a bright blush to her cheeks as she discretely left the room.

"Ignoring Lynn's sort-of boyfriend, Grandpa Rick deserves more than this!" Luan stated defensively.

"It's true. I'm worried that Edwin Jr. might be at risk too." Lucy said stoically as she held out a picture of her beloved pet alien fox.

"Grandpa Rick helped us repair our sisterly bond on our last adventure!" Lola and Lana declared simultaneously as they held hands.

"Not to mention how many alternate dimensions Lincoln and I traveled through on our last adventure with him!" Lisa pointed out.

Lily merely looked at Lori and angrily said, "Poo-poo!"

After their displays, Lori merely rolled her eyes and said, "That's exactly why we _**need**_ to have this party. After all the craziness, we've gone through over the years, I think that we've earned some relaxation. Besides, I plan on it being sophisticated." Lori pointed out.

Meanwhile, Lynn had arrived with a very happy grin and a bright blush on her cheeks as she walked back into the room, the sight concerning her siblings since this was a rare occurrence. It usually meant that she'd just talked with Anwar, but something more just happened.

"Lynn, why are smiling?" Lori asked as she formed a knowing smile.

"And why is your face redder than a baboon's butt?" Luan joked, which made most of her family groan, but Lynn had ignored it, until she snapped out and stared at Lori pleadingly.

"Lori, you need to have this party! I told Anwar about it and he'll be coming over when it starts!" Lynn begged, much to the shock of her remaining siblings, sans Lori.

Groaning in exasperation, Lincoln then saw Rick enter the room and take out a plate of canapes from the fridge.

"Grandpa, tell Lori that she can't have a party!" Lincoln pleaded.

"Lori, you can't have a party." Rick stated, which made Lori scoff and Lynn feel shocked, only for Rick to suddenly declare, "Because I'm having a party, girl!"

"Wait, what?!" the Loud siblings yelled incredulously.

"Uh, what kind of…friends are you bringing, grandpa?" Lori asked hesitantly, knowing that Rick's guest list would include some unusual characters.

"Oh, nothing to worry about. Besides, you were right; we do need a break from the craziness, Honey Bunny." Rick stated affectionately as he kissed Lori's forehead.

"What about what mom and dad said? They might not have given a threat, but…!" Lincoln stated fearfully, only for Rick to gently interrupt him.

"Then I'll take the fall. It's worth it after all that we've been through." Rick said reassuringly as he individually embraced them all, which brought a smile to their faces. Rick's expression then turned serious as he then stated, "Just stay away from anyone who could kill you…or rape you…or rape you while they're killing you."

The Loud siblings' eyes widened in apprehension as they gulped anxiously, only for Rick's jovial expression to return. "For anyone younger than Lincoln, bed by ten. Anyone older than Lincoln, including Lincoln, bed by eleven."

"Well, I'm still inviting my friends and having a sophisticated party." Lori stated as she regained her composure.

"Okay, but like I said, stay safe." Rick said as he grabbed the finishing touches for his canapes.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 2:23 PM**

Soon enough, Lori's friends arrived, with most of them having bored expressions on their faces as she used tips for having a sophisticated party from a magazine. Bobby had arrived for emotional support, albeit reluctantly due to Rick's thinly-veiled contempt for him. Fortunately for Lincoln, he'd brought Ronnie Anne with him, which brought a smile to the young children's faces.

Additionally, Lori brought her best friend since elementary school, Tammy. Tammy was on the verge of turning eighteen with short brown hair, green eyes, and fair skin. She wore a blue sweater that exposed her belly, brown shoes, and tan pants.

"So, I like seeing Bukkake, but I personally don't know if I'd ever do it." Tammy said to one of her friends.

Meanwhile, Lori smiled at Tammy as she stood next to the front door, only for a sudden knocking to interrupt her. She turned her head and saw one of Rick's oldest friends and practical uncle, Birdperson.

Birdperson was a tall humanoid in his late 40s with bird-like features. He had two giant eagle wings with gray ends, which draped down along his back like a cape. He wore yellow gloves, a red skirt, and yellow boots. He also wore a green, feathery helmet with white polka dots.

When Lori saw him, she immediately opened the door and formed a warm smile, which contrasted Birdperson's stoic expression. "The beacon was activated, Lori. Who is in danger?" Birdperson monotonously asked.

"Grandpa, Uncle Birdperson's here!" Lori called out as Rick ran to warmly greet his old friend.

"Birdperson! It's been too long!" Rick greeted as he shared a fist bump with him.

"I am pleased that there is no emergency, old friend." Birdperson stated.

"Oh, there's an emergency, buddy." Rick seriously said as he then formed a jovial smile. "A sex emergency! When's the last time you got some sweet trim, 'Pers?"

"It has been a…difficult mating season for me, Rick." Birdperson admitted.

"Well, you won't find it standing by the door! Get your beak wet, Birdperson!" Rick encouraged as he good-naturedly pushed him towards the party.

"Grandpa, not that I'm complaining, but who else is coming?" Lincoln asked as he held hands with Ronnie Anne.

"Oh, you know, not too many people." Rick said dismissively as a fire portal opened in front of him, which revealed King Flamel and Prince Anwar, each dressed casually for the party as they exited mere moments before the portal closed.

"Well, about time we got some royalty, Flamel!" Rick praised as he embraced his old friend.

"It's nice to see you as well, Rick" King Flamel said sincerely before he formed a stern expression towards his son. "Be on your best behavior, Anwar."

"Yes, dad." Anwar replied wearily as he joined the party, a bored expression on his face. However, it soon dissipated when he saw Lynn, but it changed into confusion when he saw that she wasn't in her usual clothes.

Lynn now wore a knee-length red dress with matching shoes. Her ponytail was now unrestrained, which revealed long, well-combed hair that ended at her shoulders and she had on red lipstick. While this would ordinarily be the tomboy's worst nightmare, she knew that Anwar would be here, so she dressed appropriately for him…or at least, what she thought he wanted from her.

"Lynn? Uh, wow." Anwar said, confused.

"Huh, speechless, right?" Lynn asked as she put her hand on her left hip and formed a forced smile, which made Anwar slightly more uncomfortable.

"Lynn, what's going on?" Anwar asked.

"Nothing. Can't a girl just dress-up every now and again?" Lynn asked flirtatiously, only to somehow trip and fall face-first onto the floor. Anwar formed a concerned expression as he gently picked her up.

"Are you okay?" Anwar asked in concern.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I've taken worse when I'm doing sports." Lynn answered, only to stagger a bit when she tried to walk.

"Lynn, why are you dressed like this in the first place?" Anwar asked, uncomfortable with how Lynn dolled herself up, which made the young tomboy blush madly.

"Well, it's just that…well, do you…like this?" Lynn asked hesitantly.

"Lynn, I liked how you looked when I first met you." Anwar answered honestly.

"You…you did?" Lynn asked, somewhat excited.

"Of course. I don't really like it if a girl gets dolled up to impress someone and even though I'm royal, I never want you to feel that way around me." Anwar replied as he formed a soft orange blush and gently cusped Lynn's hands.

"That's um…good to know." Lynn said sincerely, her blush intensifying.

"Now, how about you change back and we'll have some fun at the party?" Anwar requested, which made Lynn smile immensely as she went to do just that.

Meanwhile, the rest of the kids had been enjoying the party in their own way, except for Lori who'd been trying to keep it sophisticated.

Luan had been telling jokes to some of Rick's alien friends, but they hadn't so much as chuckled. Still, Luan refused to give up, her inner comedienne demanded someone to laugh. Eventually, she'd been forced to tell some dark humor.

"So, how can you tell that your acne's bad? When the blind start reading your face!" Luan joked, which finally elicited some laughs from the group, but she was more interested in someone's morbid laughter from nearby. When she found the source, she formed a small blush.

It came from a slender girl, about a year younger than Luan. She had pale skin, long black hair, green eyes, and freckles. She had black earrings and matching eyeshadow. She wore a light blue t-shirt, long black-striped arm sleeves, a checkerboard dark blue skirt, black boots, and a purple jumper around her waist. This was Maggie Myers.

"Nice joke, Braces." Maggie complimented, giving Luan a nickname.

"Uh, thanks." Luan said, somewhat nervously.

"The name's Maggie. What's yours?" Maggie asked stoically.

"Luan Ophelia Loud! Nice to meet you!" Luan said rapidly, only to facepalm when she realized she embarrassed herself.

"Impressive speed. I like that." Maggie said, unfazed by Luan's actions.

"Oh, well, you know…my motor's always running!" Luan said as she laughed uncomfortably, only to facepalm again when she realized how that sounded.

In response, Maggie gave a small laugh and said, "You're cute, so I'll let you off for that one."

"Wait, you think that I'm…cute?" Luan asked, forming a small smile.

"Like an excited puppy, but I like puppies." Maggie said, somewhat flirtatiously, which made Luan's face burn up.

"Uh, yeah. I like your…boobs!" Luan blurted out, which made her facepalm for the third time, this time giving herself a red handprint on her forehead.

There was a moment of silence before Maggie responded with, "You…don't have a lot of experience with this, do you?"

Luan uncomfortably chuckled before she replied with, "What was your first clue?"

"Don't worry about it, Luan. Right now, we're just two girls at a party." Maggie said supportively, before she proposed with, "Nothing has to happen, but maybe we could talk in the kitchen?"

"Yeah, I think I'd like that." Luan said as she followed her into the kitchen. However, on the way, Maggie said, "Oh and you should know, your butt looks nice in that skirt.", which made Luan form a small nosebleed as she smiled goofily.

Leni was awkwardly traversing through the living room, either off-put by Rick's alien friends, or from the local teenage boys that arrived at the party. Granted, it had been a while since her rape attempt, but Leni's heart raced anxiously whenever she was near a boy, or less likely, girls that didn't know she was straight.

She would've sat down, but the couch was taken up by some of Rick's friends and boys. She was tempted to just stay in hers and Lori's room for the rest of the party, but she knew that she couldn't live in fear forever. She took a deep breath and politely introduced herself to some of the party-goers.

"Hi I'm Leni." Leni repeated, sometimes to the same people, which made them stare at her in confusion. She continued this for a few moments before she felt a hand on her shoulder, which snapped her out of her daze. She felt fear well up in her heart as she turned around and delivered a rapid punch to the face of whoever did that, only to feel a hand stop it mere inches away.

Leni opened her eyes when she noticed that her fist hadn't made contact. The one behind her was the captain of her high school soccer team, George Nash.

George was sixteen-years-old with an athletic frame, short, brown hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. He wore a green t-shirt, blue jeans, and black tennis shoes.

"Uh, wow. This is a little…awkward." George said as he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.

"No, sorry. It's mostly my fault, George." Leni admitted as George released her hand, which allowed the two to look at each other, both unsure on how to proceed. Eventually, George made the first move.

"So, why did you just try to hit me?" George asked.

"Look, it's nothing important." Leni said defensively.

"Considering how many guys and some girls you've hit when they weren't trying anything, I think that it _**is**_ something important." George pointed out.

"It's just that…something bad happened to me a while back…something really bad." Leni admitted as she turned away from him, which made George frown in concern.

"Leni, you're the most desirable girl in school and you've casually dated before. What could've made you…?" George trailed off, only to come to an uncomfortable conclusion. "Oh, oh jeez."

"Just so you know, it was only an _**attempt**_." Leni said bitterly.

"Leni, I…I didn't know. I'm sorry." George said apologetically.

"Thanks, but I feel bad that I'm not going to get better." Leni admitted, which made George form a confused expression.

"What do you mean by that?" George asked.

"Before it happened, I loved talking to people, especially boys. I wasn't ever mean about it when the relationship ended and it never went beyond kissing." Leni clarified with a hidden smile, which quickly faltered as she continued to talk. "But now, I can barely be in the same room as a boy and I freak out whenever someone touches me, even when it's just a tap. This is the most I've talked to someone outside of my family since it happened."

"Leni, that's normal. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but you shouldn't feel bad that you're not over it." George said sympathetically.

"What are you talking about?" Leni asked, confused.

"Look at my left hand, Leni." George stated as Leni turned around and saw a deep, vertical scar over his hand, which made her gasp in shock. "I got this when I was 10 and a rival team thought it'd be 'funny' to put barbed wire in our laundry basket. I was one of the lucky ones, but some of my friends had to go to the hospital because of that."

"So, what's your point?" Leni asked.

"Even though it's been six years since that happened, my scar still hurts, but not as bad. What you went through deeply scarred your mind, but it just needs time to heal as much as it can. The doctors said that the pain in my hand might never go away, but it'll be manageable." George clarified and then formed a sincere expression. "What I'm saying is that the pain of what you went through might never go away, but the severity won't last forever. Even though it hurts, I can still use my left hand, just how _**you**_ can still be Leni Loud."

Leni formed a small smile after George finished talking. Based on what she could understand, even though the pain of what she went through might never go away, she wouldn't be stuck like this forever. She just needed time and she shouldn't feel frustrated that it was taking so long for her to get better.

"Thanks, George. I…I needed that." Leni said sincerely.

"Anytime. And you've taken a great few steps on the road to recovery." George replied and then awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I'll understand if you say 'no', but do you want to get a soda from the kitchen?"

Leni contemplated his offer for a few moments before she said, "Okay, but try not talking or doing anything for a while when we do. I still need time to heal."

"I understand." George replied, unaware that he formed a small smile as he and Leni walked into the kitchen.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Dining Room) 3:00 PM**

Meanwhile, Lucy had adorned a purple turban and was currently reading people's fortunes, human and alien alike. Thankfully, she was getting decent participants, which was a welcome change from the lack of ones she usually received. The last time she had done so for her siblings, it ended badly for Lincoln, which was mitigated with him apparently witnessing a defunct geyser erupt and with Rick taking him and the rest of the family for ice cream.

"Hmm, I see a good future for your son." Lucy responded to a certain knife-gloved humanoid.

"Really? Oh, that's such a relief." Scary Terry said as he smiled.

"I just read what the cards say, Terry." Lucy said as she formed a small smile.

"You know, you're a scary girl, and I mean that in a good way." Scary Terry said as he stroked his unique chin.

"Wow, thanks. Most new people are terrified by me." Lucy said sincerely.

"I get where that comes from. My old scaring teacher would've loved you." Scary Terry complimented.

"That's good to know and I must say that you live up to your name. Where'd you get those gloves?" Lucy said in admiration.

"My people have a store that sells these for all ages. If you want, I could get you a pair just like mine." Scary Terry suggested as he held them out for emphasis.

"Sign me up." Lucy said, on the verge of forming an eager smile.

"We could also terrify a bunch of people in their sleep afterwards, if you want." Scary Terry said enthusiastically, which made Lucy gasp in anticipation.

"Where have you been all my life?" Lucy said, awestruck.

Birdperson had been conversing with Tammy, with the latter sitting flirtatiously on the former's lap while the former sat in a chair at the far end of the dining room.

"I like your feathers." Tammy said sincerely as she lovingly stroked Birdperson's helmet.

"They are designed to attract the attention of females." Birdperson said stoically.

"It's working." Tammy said lustfully.

"Tammy, I was already hesitant to allow you to get so far because you're the best friend of my best friend's granddaughter." Birdperson stated, hoping it would be enough to drive her away.

"You shouldn't worry if you think that you're taking advantage of your relationship to Lori's grandfather." Tammy said reassuringly, still stroking his helmet.

"Tammy, I should also warn you that I recently got out of a highly intense soul bond with my previous Spirit-mate." Birdperson said warily.

"I'm not looking for a soul bond. Since I'm legal in a few hours, I just want…" Tammy said lustfully before she whispered into Birdperson's ears, which made the alien's wings flutter slightly.

"I believe that Birdperson can arrange that." Birdperson said monotonously as he formed a small smile.

Lincoln and Ronnie Anne had been conversing in the same room as them, though despite the number of guests, they were able to talk to each other clearly.

"So, wait, you actually went through all that to get your mom's novel back?" Ronnie Anne asked in response to one of Lincoln's stories.

"Yeah, it was a bit contrived at some points, but it's a good thing that Grandpa Rick saved my life and that my mom wasn't too distressed about losing that old book" Lincoln admitted with a sheepish smile.

"Well, it sounds pretty awesome. It sounds a lot better than what I did with my mom, the nurse. I was just hanging out in a hospital all day." Ronnie Anne stated, referring to how she spent Take Your Daughter to Work Day.

"Are you kidding? Your mom's job is awesome, even if the hours are demanding." Lincoln said sincerely.

"Yeah, it is. But, because of her job, things are still lonely since my dad…you know." Ronnie Anne admitted before she formed a sad expression.

"Oh, sorry Ronnie. I didn't want to let you relive that." Lincoln said apologetically.

"No, it's okay, Lincoln. It happened a long time ago and we've all made our peace with it…as best as we could." Ronnie Anne reassured.

"That's good to know, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm all ears." Lincoln warmly said as he gently cupped her hand, which brought a small blush to the young girl's face.

"You know, sometimes it kills me how you always know what to say when I feel bad about something." Ronnie Anne said affectionately.

"In a family like mine, having a sympathetic ear is a good quality to have." Lincoln admitted as he formed his own blush.

"Hey, uh…I brought my own Gimendo 3LS with _Mega Crash Battle_ and I know you have one too." Ronnie Anne said as she took out a pink gaming device. She then took a quick breath before she asked, "You want to have a tournament in your room?"

"Baby, you're the greatest." Lincoln said breathlessly as he took out his blue gaming device before the duo ran upstairs.

Surprisingly, Luna was running damage control as best as she could with Lily strapped to her chest in a baby bundle. While this would've ordinarily been Lori or Lincoln's job, Lori was too busy going room-to-room to make the party more sophisticated and Lincoln was too busy with Ronnie Anne. While she was happy for him, she wished that she had a few extra hands. As such, she yelped a little when Rick gently tapped her on the shoulder.

"Whoa, now I know where Lucy gets her teleportation from." Luna said as she calmed down.

"Yeah, pretty sure that isn't genetic, Pixie Cut. But, what're you doing? This is a party; I figured you'd be providing the music or something." Rick pointed out.

"Well, I'm kind of the most responsible one here for the moment. There's already been a ton of collateral damage from your friends, grandpa." Luna said, somewhat bitterly, only for one of Rick's friends to approach.

He was a short, orange cat-person with a tiny blue nose, dark brown goatee, messy fur, and whiskers. He also had a naked tail with a brown tuft of hair on its tip. This was Squanchy.

"Hey, Rick! Squanchy party, bro!" Squanchy praised as he held out a bottle of soda to toast Rick.

"Hey, Squanchy! Glad you could make it!" Rick replied warmly as he laid a friendly hand on his back.

"I know it's a little inappropriate, but do you have a place I can squanch around here?" Squanchy asked, rather loudly.

"Just make sure none of my younger grandkids see it. Besides that, you're free to squanch wherever you want, man!" Rick reassured as Squanchy left with a smile on his face.

"I'm not even going to ask." Luna deadpanned as she turned towards her grandfather.

"Hey, the whole point of this party was to relax. And trust me, it doesn't matter how much damage gets done. With me in charge, every little thing's going to be alright." Rick reassured with one of Luna's favorite song titles.

"Ugh, I hate it when you use those against me." Luna said halfheartedly as she crossed her arms.

"Where do you think you get that aspect from?" Rick said as he lovingly tousled Luna's hair. "Your mom played a bunch of 70's and 80's music when she was pregnant with you." Rick stated as he then formed a shameless smile before he ended the tousling. "Although, that might've been with some encouragement from me."

"Still, it seems like everyone's having fun here except me. I don't even know where Lana, Lola, and Lisa are, but they're probably having the time of their lives." Luna said sadly as Lily cooed, trying to reassure her older sister.

"Luna, trust me; things are going to get better." Rick said sincerely, only to form a wide grin when he saw something that he knew Luna would love. He gestured the rocker girl to look behind her, which made her gasp in shock.

It was none other than Freddy, dressed in his usual clothes, but time seemed to stand still for Luna as she gazed at the object of her affection.

"Freddy…" Luna said with a distorted voice as she was bathed in a strange purple light, which made Rick look around and find the source of her new voice.

"Damn it, Slow Mobius. Stop messing with my granddaughter." Rick reprimanded his friend, who was a pudgy humanoid with pale skin and dressed in a yellow uniform with a matching headband that had a clock in the middle. He carried two giant scepters with clocks on the end that glowed purple as he used his powers.

"Oh, sorry Rick! I was just showing off my powers, bro!" Slow Mobius said in a nasally voice as the glow from his scepters and Luna faded.

"I can't believe he's here!" Luna said in a strained and excited voice as she blushed madly.

"Well, don't just stand here and be eye candy! Go try to be his _**arm**_ candy!" Rick encouraged as he pushed Luna towards Freddy, who went into the living room.

"Uh, I don't know. This is pretty new territory for me, grandpa." Luna said uncertainly.

"Don't worry about it. Tonight, just try to be Luna Loud, without causing the apocalypse this time." Rick said reassuringly with a seriousness towards the end as he took Lily from her and strapped the baby bundle onto himself. He then added, "Oh, and make sure he doesn't try anything."

Luna gulped in anxiety as she hesitantly traveled into the living room to find him.

 **Loud House (Living Room) 3:23 PM**

Luna combed through the crowd to find Freddy, eventually spotting him a few feet away from her, conversing with some aliens. Luna stared at him for a while before she felt her nose about to explode with blood, which made her run straight into a wall when she tried to get to the bathroom. Unfortunately, this made Luna splatter a good portion of the wall with her blood, to her embarrassment but to the alien onlookers' enjoyment.

"Ugh, get out of your head, Luna!" Luna whispered to herself as she tried to gain confidence. "You're just a girl about to go up to a guy and say…" Luna trailed off as she felt a tap on her shoulder, which made her yelp in surprise.

"Oh, sorry love. Did I scare you?" Freddy asked as Luna turned around, only for her face to turn redder than it had ever been before.

"Buh, buh, buh…" Luna stammered, no words coming to her mind, much to Freddy's confusion.

"It's Luna, right? You're very exquisite talent here." Freddy complimented, which worsened Luna's condition as she stood there, her mouth now gaping open.

The moment continued for some time before a girl around Luna's age came from behind and wrapped her arms around Freddy, much to the boy's and Luna's chagrin.

The girl was African-American with short, black hair, brown eyes, and had a generous figure that made Luna green with envy. She wore a bright green cheerleader's uniform, white, thigh-high boots, and pair of black shorts underneath for modesty. This was Bianca Harper.

"Hey, Loony! I see you've met my date!" Bianca said, cruelly using Luna's old nickname.

"W-Wait, what?!" Luna asked, surprised, but embarrassed that it came out in such a squeaky voice.

"Yeah, we're on a date." Freddy said begrudgingly.

"It's the perfect situation; the foreign exchange student gets even more popular on the arm of the best cheerleader in school!" Bianca said, ecstatic, unaware of Luna's heart breaking the entire time.

"Well, I guess we should go…mingle? That's what you Yanks do here, right?" Freddy said uncertainly as Bianca practically forced him to walk away.

"That…and this." Bianca said as she lightly kissed him on the lips, which almost made Luna burst into tears as they walked away.

Luna started to silently hyperventilate as she struggled to stand. Granted, Freddy was handsome, but the fact that he didn't seem to want to get involved with girls made Luna hope that she would've had a chance to work up the nerve and ask him out, even if it might've ended in heartbreak. Still, someone else managed to break down Freddy's defenses and gotten further than she ever did, even in her original universe. Even worse, Bianca was only second in popularity with boys, the first being Leni, not to mention her generous figure that made Luna instinctively clutch her chest in embarrassment.

"Don't cry…don't cry…" Luna discretely repeated to herself, the other patrons too absorbed in the party to notice. Unfortunately, her body soon betrayed her as tears flowed madly from her eyes, but she managed to put her hand over her mouth to mask her wails.

Meanwhile, Luan had exited from the kitchen and into the living room, a blissful smile and blush on her face. Granted, she only left Maggie's side to use the bathroom, but things had been going well for the young comedienne, especially with how worse she was at talking to girls after coming out to the family two years ago. As such, her emotions and bladder nearly distracted her form the sobbing Luna. Nearly.

"Luna, what's wrong?" Luan asked in concern, having broken out of her trance, which made Luna stop sobbing to save face.

"It…It's nothing." Luna said, her tone betraying her as tears welled up again.

"Luna, we've shared a room since the day I was born. I know when you're upset." Luan pointed out.

"Ugh, what's wrong with me?! Why do boys have to be so complicated?!" Luna bitterly stated as she buried her hands into her face. It didn't last long as she felt Luan's hands gently hold her arms.

"Luna, I love you. I want to help, but I need something to go on." Luan said sincerely as Luna sadly nodded and allowed her arms to fall to their sides.

"You remember that guy I was crushing on? He's moved on." Luna tearfully stated as she pointed towards Freddy and Bianca, the former having a bored expression on his face as the latter talked to her friends.

"Oh, the old unrequited love situation." Luan said in understanding as she laid a comforting hand on her older sister's left shoulder. "Trust me, with the lack of open lesbians at school, I feel your pain."

"Thanks, sis. If I didn't prefer boys, I'd probably be in the same boat as you." Luna said as she regained some composure.

"Yeah, it's really hard to pretend to be…you know…at school and I only went on a few dates to avoid suspicion." Luan mentioned as she sighed sadly from those memories.

"I can't even imagine hiding what you are all the time, Luan. Things might be different now, but I'm glad that you never hid it from us. We're family." Luna said sincerely as she returned the favor, which brought a small smile to Luan's face.

"Huh, we're two of a kind with unrequited love, aren't we?" Luan lightly joked, which managed to make Luna chuckle lightly.

"Yeah, I guess we are." Luna conceded.

"Still, I feel kind of bad that things are going so well for me and Maggie when you're…"

"Wait, who?" Luna asked, interrupting Luan, who formed an embarrassed blush from the question.

"I guess I should've mentioned that, but yeah. I think that Lucy invited her when grandpa said he was throwing the party." Luan clarified as she fiddled with her hands while Luna stared at her, with her mouth open in shock. Luan formed a nervous expression and halfheartedly pleaded, "Please, don't let that diminish what we were just talking about."

"It's not that. It's just…what are you doing here, talking to me?!" Luna said in excitement as she nudged her sister towards the kitchen. "You've finally found someone; cherish it, sis!"

"Trust me, I am and I'm glad that you're feeling better." Luan reassured, only for her to put her knees together and form a sheepish smile, which made Luna mentally slap herself when she realized what Luan had to do. "I just kind of have to visit the little comedienne's room…badly."

"Oh, sorry, sis." Luna said apologetically as she motioned her towards the bathroom. "But, make sure to wash your hands afterwards."

"Luna, I'm not five-years-old anymore!" Luan said, embarrassed.

"I know and…thanks for talking to me." Luna said sincerely, which made Luan smile.

"Anytime…" Luan replied warmly, only for her to form an uncomfortable expression. "Although, not now because I'm about to make lemonade in my panties!" Luan squealed as she ran towards the downstairs bathroom.

After Luan left, Luna smiled warmly from her sister's antics, which were enough that when she saw Freddy with Bianca again, she only felt a little sad as she slumped on a nearby wall.

"Wow, I wonder if this is how Mick Swagger felt when his first wife divorced him." Luna mused as she formed a small frown, unaware of Rick as he approached her with a sympathetic expression as Lily thankfully slept soundly in the baby bundle.

"Rough way to start having fun, huh?" Rick lightly joked as he leaned alongside the wall with her, seeing Freddy with Bianca.

"Yeah, it bites big time, Grandpa Rick." Luna said sadly, only for Rick to hand her a can of her favorite soda from his right lab coat pocket, which made her smile slightly.

"Don't worry about it, Luna. You're young and beautiful. There'll be plenty of other boys." Rick said reassuringly as the duo indulged in their drinks.

"Maybe. Who knows? The man of my dreams could burst in any second." Luna said halfheartedly, only for an entire wall to shatter as an unknown man emerged from the rubble.

The man physically resembled a combination of Abraham Lincoln and Adolf Hitler, with fair skin, short, black hair, and a Hitler-like moustache. He wore a black top hat, a dull green uniform with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, and a black, robotic torso over the top half of his uniform. Oddly, he seemed to have heterochromia as his left eye was hazel and his right eye was blue.

"Okay, no way you're getting involved with Abradolf Lincler." Rick deadpanned as he averted his eyes.

"Uh, who is that grandpa?" Luna asked, confused.

"He's a crazed maniac, Pixie Cut. Abradolf is just a misguided experiment of mine that I created with the DNA of Abraham Lincoln and Adolf Hitler to create a morally neutral super leader." Rick explained as Abradolf harshly combed the crowd to find him. "Unfortunately, it just adds up to a weird, ambiguously bipolar loser." Rick finished as Abradolf spotted him, his eyes narrowing in unbridled rage.

"Rick, you brought me into this world; a twisted abomination tortured by the duality of its being." Abradolf accused as he menacingly approached him, which made Luna instinctively cling to her grandfather in fear. "But, I will finally know the peace that has eluded my grasp after all these years when I watch the life drain from your wretched body!" Abradolf yelled angrily as he stood a few feet away from his creator, only having knocked into Bianca by accident before he could exact his revenge.

"Whoa, rude, much?" Bianca said sassily.

"I have no quarrel with you, colored child." Abradolf said seriously, only for Bianca's eyes to widen with rage.

"Whoa, what did you just call me?!" Bianca yelled, offended, which made Abradolf shrink in awkwardness.

"Oh, it's j-j-just that uh, look I don't know how you thought I meant it, but uh…" Abradolf said nervously as he looked towards Rick for an appropriate response.

"You dug your own grave, Abradolf." Rick said nonchalantly, which forced Abradolf to resolve it on his own.

"Look, I didn't mean to be offensive. It's just that I'm mentally half of Abraham Lincoln, so…"

"So, what, I should just drop to my knees and give you a blowjob?!" Bianca harshly accused.

"No, but uh…you know." Abradolf said uncertainly, only for Bianca to continue her tirade.

"What do I know? That the Third Reich will reign for a thousand years?" Bianca asked, steadily getting angrier.

"Bianca, I'm sure he didn't mean to…" Freddy started, only for Bianca to harshly interrupt him.

"Stay out of this, Freddy!" Bianca yelled as she turned towards him.

"Kick his ass, Bianca!" Rick encouraged as he led the crowd into a chant, which made Bianca violently attack Abradolf, with Freddy leaving in disgust even though Bianca was winning.

"Grandpa, what was that for?!" Luna asked incredulously, only to get her answer when Rick placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Look at the facts, Luna: he's bored out of his mind, it's only a date, and he just abandoned her while she was fighting." Rick pointed out as he formed a loving smile and then said, "No matter how it goes, I'll make sure that you get some peanut butter ice cream."

Luna smiled warmly as she handed Rick her soda and left to see Freddy, which made the elderly scientist smile. However, his mission wasn't over yet as Lori came out and gasped in shock when she saw Bianca after the fight was over.

"Okay, fighting is literally _**not**_ part of a sophisticated party!" Lori said, distressed.

"Honey Bunny, you're seventeen. You shouldn't have to worry about this stuff until you're in your late 30s." Rick pointed out.

"Are you kidding me, grandpa? Things are getting way out of control!" Lori stated as she gestured towards the wall Abradolf destroyed.

"Okay, so things aren't going so smoothly." Rick conceded, only to form a hopeful expression. "Think about it, Lori, you're almost eighteen. This might be your last chance to cut loose. You haven't even talked to Bobby since the party started."

"Because I've been going room-to-room for damage control, grandpa! I babysat for years before you permanently came into our lives!" Lori yelled in exasperation.

"And I get that, Lori. But, you're forgetting something important." Rick said sincerely.

"What's that, grandpa?" Lori asked dismissively, only for Rick to lay a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You're a kid too. At least _**try**_ to have fun, okay?" Rick advised as he kissed her forehead and left, which left Lori contemplating.

 **Loud House (Front Yard) 3:35 PM**

Luna followed where Freddy went and found him sitting at the bottom step of the front porch with an irritated expression on his face. Luna gulped in anxiety and anticipation as she hesitantly made her way to the bottom and sat beside him, too afraid to make eye contact with him now.

"So, uh…sorry with how my grandpa instigated that with Bianca. He has some pretty strange friends." Luna said nervously as she formed a bright blush.

"I could care less about Bianca. The trollop is a total fame-monger." Freddy said bluntly. "I know why she wanted to date me, but we have nothing in common. It's like my ideal woman just doesn't exist."

"Oh, and what is your ideal woman?" Luna said, relieved and hopeful.

"Well, she has to be smart, nice, have a love of 70s and 80s music, short hair, and is preferably tomboyish." Freddy answered bitterly, unaware of Luna's increasing smile from his list.

"Can I show you, something?" Luna asked, love-struck as she stood up and extended her hand towards him.

"You know what? For the rest of the party, I'm yours." Freddy said proudly as he stood up and took Luna's hand, much to the rocker girl's unbridled joy.

 **Rick's Lab 3:40 PM**

Soon enough, Luna and Freddy entered Rick's lab, with the latter enthralled by the numerous inventions Rick had laying around.

"Whoa, laser cannons, genetic pancake experiments, freaky magazines…!" Freddy exclaimed in awe.

"Yeah, this is my grandpa's sci-fi workshop. He keeps his portal gun with him at all times, but there's plenty of other stuff here, too." Luna said as she grabbed one of Rick's inventions from the bookshelf, a small, white metal orb. She then activated it with a button on its side, which illuminated the room with holographic images of various galaxies.

"This is beyond anything I ever expected, Luna." Freddy said, breathlessly as Luna gulped in anxiousness.

"You know, Freddy, there's something that I…I…have to say." Luna said nervously.

"What's that, Luna?" Freddy asked in confusion as he turned around.

"I've had a major crush on…" Luna started, only for Freddy to point behind her before she could finish.

"No, that! In that cabinet." Freddy interrupted, which made Luna turn her head and see the cabinet behind her rattling, but not before she turned off the device she showed Freddy.

Unsure of what to do next, Luna and Freddy approached the cabinet, with Luna taking lead. When they arrived at the door, Luna jiggled the handle and realized that it was unlocked. Luna took a deep breath as she opened the door, only to see Squanchy choking himself with one of her belts while his other hand stroked his penis, much to Luna and Freddy's disgust and shock.

"Oh, dear God!" Luna said, horrified as Freddy merely averted his eyes.

"Hey, I'm squanching here!" Squanchy said, oddly unashamed that they essentially found him with his pants down.

Unfortunately, Luna's disgust made her walk backwards into one of Rick's inventions, which broke upon impact with the floor. Before she could react, the entire lab was bathed in an eerie green glow.

"Luna, what's going on?" Freddy asked, somewhat nervously.

"I have no idea!" Luna answered as the glow extended beyond the lab and bled into covering the entire house. The glow lasted for a few moments before the lab, house, and a good chunk of the ground vanished into thin air.

 **Dimension WD-99 (Loud House 1** **st** **Floor Living Room) 9:23 PM**

Suddenly, the Loud House and Rick's lab came crashing down into a bizarre dimension. There were three moons in the sky that bathed the landscape in an eerie glow, but it seemed to be mostly mountainous. Oddly, giant wolf-like creatures roamed the area, big enough to rival buildings, but fortunately seemed to ignore their presence. Rick managed to compose himself easily as he opened the front door and took in the scenery.

"Hmm, nice landscape, oxygen-rich atmosphere, giant alien wolves…" Rick trailed off before he went back to greet the shocked party-goers. He then formed a bright smile and declared, "We should be fine. Let's party!"

With that, the entire crowd erupted into cheers, only for Bobby to get overzealous as he took his shirt off and ran outside, screamingly wildly.

"Par-r-r-r-ty!" Bobby declared, only for a giant owl-like creature to snatch him, which made him scream in fear as it took him away. Rick stared at this for a few moments before he nonchalantly shut the door and activated a boombox to continue the party, much to the joy of the guests.

Meanwhile, Luna and Freddy managed to sneak through the back door in the kitchen and ran inside to find Rick. However, Bianca intercepted the latter and dragged him away, much to his and Luna's ire. Still, Luna had to find Rick and hope that he had a way out of this dimension.

"Grandpa, this is bad! This is beyond bad!" Luna said fearfully once she found Rick.

"Relax, Pixie Cut. We'll be fine, but I'll know for sure when I do some scanning." Rick reassured as he took out a scanner device from his coat, motioning for Luna to follow him.

Lola, Lana, and Lisa, emerged from the kitchen after having listened to a humanoid primarily made of gears drone on about something called "The Gear Wars", which bored everyone but Lisa.

"Man, this party's been a blast for everyone, but we got shanghaied into the most boring conversation we've ever had!" Lana lamented.

"I'm with you on that one, Lana. And we know who's responsible for roping us into that." Lola said threateningly as she narrowed her eyes at Lisa.

"Ugh, it's not my fault you philistines don't appreciate history, even if it isn't our own." Lisa shrugged as she took out five filled notebooks on the subject.

"Whatever. We should've known better than to go on your idea of 'fun'." Lana said, disappointed in herself.

"Yeah, now we have no idea what to do next!" Lola exclaimed in exasperation.

"Hmm, I have an idea." Lisa said, intrigued as she noticed Luna and Rick going somewhere. Lola and Lana noticed too and formed devious smiles as they discretely followed the duo.

 **Dimension WD-99 (Loud House Back Porch) 9:30 PM**

"Okay, I'm getting strong enough readings now." Rick stated as he affectionately stroked the slumbering Lily's hair with his free hand, only to stop after a few moments.

"How can you be so calm about this, grandpa?" Luna asked, confused. "It's one thing for us to get involved in this, but there's a bunch of innocent people inside!"

"Just relax, Luna. All we need to do is find some Kalaxian Crystals and everything'll be fine." Rick reassured, only to feel Lisa, Lola, and Lana tug on his right pantleg.

"Greetings, grandfather. You're in the middle of something to help us, correct?" Lisa deduced as she adjusted her glasses.

"Whatever it is, we want to help!" Lana said, excited.

"It's got to be better than that gear guy drone on about that war." Lola deadpanned.

"Little dudes, this is not a good idea. You should be inside with the rest of our family." Luna advised as she attempted to nudge them back inside, only for Rick to stop her.

"Pixie Cut, we're short on time and help. Since Lincoln's busy, I'll need as much help as we can get. So, Pink Sunshine, Little Poindexter, and Mud Pie, you'll all get your wish." Rick stated as he hair tousled them all affectionately, mere moments before his tracker went off.

"Is that a good sound?" Lana asked.

"You better believe it, Lana! There's a treasure trove of Kalaxian Crystals within a few kilometers of here!" Rick answered happily, only to stare seriously at Luna. "Keep an eye out for your sisters on this mission, okay Luna?"

"That goes without saying, grandpa. Still, shouldn't you come with us?" Luna asked.

"Nah, I need to stay here and make sure the rest of your siblings stay out of trouble. Just take the scanner and you'll be fine." Rick revealed as he handed the scanner and a bag to Luna, only for Abradolf to emerge from the house, an ice pack on his face.

"Oh, so much pain…" Abradolf trailed off, still sore from losing his fight with Bianca.

"You know, maybe Abradolf should go with you." Rick stated as he stroked his chin.

"No way, bro. I'm injured." Abradolf lightly argued.

"Shut it, you douche. After crashing the party, the _**least**_ you can do is look after some of my grandkids." Rick said harshly as he shoved him off the steps, much to his ire.

Abradolf grumbled as he, Luna, Lola, Lana, and Lisa followed the scanner to find the crystals.

 **Dimension WD-99 (Loud House 1** **st** **Floor Living Room) 9:43 PM**

After the group left, Lori attempted to take Rick's advice, but to no avail. She knew that she was still a kid, but the party had gone out of control, just as it did during her early years of babysitting.

"Okay, can you guys please stop with the destruction? This is my family's house!" Lori protested, but everyone was too engrossed with the party to notice. Lori sighed in resignation as she leaned against the wall, only to accidentally eavesdrop on a conversation about her.

"Man, this party is epic! Too bad that Lori's trying to ruin everything." A teenage boy grumbled from the kitchen, much to Lori's shock.

"I know, Kyle! The only reason I'm staying is because of the cool aliens in the house!" a teenage girl added.

"Yeah Jen, all this talk of being 'sophisticated' is crap for us. We're teenagers; we're supposed to be wild and free!" another teenage boy stated.

"Amen to that, Peter. I get that she's the oldest and has had to take care of her siblings for her entire life, but she's a royal buzzkill." Kyle bluntly said, which made Lori lightly gasp as she inched herself away from the conversation.

It was then that Rick appeared and formed a sympathetic expression as he laid a comforting hand on Lori's back. "Wow, second time today I've had to comfort one of you." Rick lightly joked as he led Lori away.

"You were right, grandpa. I should've just tried harder to enjoy the party." Lori conceded with a saddened frown.

"Hey, I get it. It's not easy for you to cut loose when you've had to look out for your siblings for most of your life." Rick said, understanding.

"That's the thing, grandpa. Even after you came into the picture, I've never felt the burden ascend from my shoulders. I love them all, but things can get so…chaotic with so many of us." Lori revealed as she sat on the floor and casually clutched her knees.

"I get that. It's not easy to break free of the role in your family. Believe me, things weren't exactly perfect with my parents when I was your age." Rick said comfortingly as he sat down to join her, making sure that Lily was still sleeping.

"So, how'd you do it?" Lori asked curiously.

"After a certain point, you realize that you have to start living for yourself and not your family. If you don't, you're kind of screwed." Rick answered as he gave her an affectionate kiss on her forehead, which made the teenaged girl smile.

"Thanks, Grandpa Rick." Lori said sincerely.

"Anytime, Honey Bunny. Now, the party's still going on. Make the most of it." Rick advised as he stood up and walked away, but not before he handed Lily over to Lori at the teenaged girl's silent request.

 **Dimension WD-99 (Forest) 10:37 PM**

It had been a rather lengthy journey to find the crystals, even with the scanner. Thankfully, they had evaded the natural predators of this dimension so far, but that only gave time for Abradolf to drone on about his existence. While Luna and Lana were among the nicest of the Loud siblings, even they were reaching their limits with Abradolf's speech. Conversely, Lola made no effort to hide her irritation of the man, while Lisa politely wrote notes on his behavior.

"It's just so weird having these two in my head. I have all their memories, so I believe that all men are created equal because of Lincoln, but Hitler's ideals contradict that." Abradolf lamented as he stroked his chin.

"Okay, shut up! No one cares about your problems!" Lola harshly yelled, vocalizing the majority's feelings.

"On the contrary, this is revealing some fascinating insight on his personality!" Lisa said excitedly.

"Well, at least someone thinks so." Abradolf said sincerely, forming a rare smile.

"Not to seem impatient, but are we close to those crystals, Luna?" Lana asked, wanting to change the subject.

"We should be in just a few feet." Luna answered and soon enough, they arrived in a vast area of the forest, coated with Kalaxian Crystals, which were bright red in color and sparkling from the moonlight.

"They're so sparkly." Lana stated as she averted her eyes.

"Whoa! Grandpa didn't tell us they'd be so beautiful!" Lola said in awe as she greedily took some for herself.

"Hey, ease up on the bling, Lola. We need these to get home." Luna advised as she started to break off enough pieces to fill the bag.

"Fascinating extradimensional crystals." Lisa commented as she scribbled down as much data as she could from a small one.

Suddenly, the group heard a loud, growling sound that instantly stopped them from their activities. Abradolf motioned the rest of the group to stand behind him as he scanned the area for the source.

"Stay behind me, kids. Something bad is about to happen." Abradolf advised as a large, tiger-sized beetle emerged from the shadows, which made the girls gasp in shock.

"What the nuts?!" Luna yelled incredulously as Lola and Lisa dropped their crystals in shock.

"Make sure to get enough crystals! I'll handle the beast!" Abradolf commanded as he stared down at the giant creature. "Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!" Abradolf declared as he tackled the giant beetle to the ground and into the shadows as Luna collected the crystals.

Luna motioned her younger sisters to stay around her, which they thankfully did. Luna did her best to ignore the fight Abradolf was putting up and after a few moments, she filled the bag to the brim with the crystals. However, it happened a split-second after she and the group heard a sickening crunch from the fight.

Thankfully, Abradolf emerged instead of the beetle, carrying its head. Unfortunately, the beetle had successfully dismembered Abradolf's left arm in the fight, which forced the tired experiment to collapse from pain as he clutched his torso. Luna ran to Abradolf's side, with her sisters following out of concern for the man.

"Abradolf, are you okay?" Luna asked, concerned.

"No, Luna. Mein journey is finally…over." Abradolf said wearily as he released the beetle head from his grasp and removed his right arm from his torso. Luna gasped in shock when she saw the extensive damage of his body. His torso was cracked, leaking blood and oil, and he had extensive lacerations alongside his remaining body parts.

"Not again. This…this can't be happening again." Luna said tearfully, remembering all too well the last time she'd seen someone like this.

"Don't…don't be sad, Luna. Listen, I need you to tell Rick something important." Abradolf requested as he laid his only good hand on Luna's shoulder. He then whispered the message into her ear, but when he finished, he saw the distraught expressions on the younger sister's faces.

"Abradolf…you're going to be okay, right?" Lola and Lana hesitantly asked simultaneously.

"You shouldn't have to see this. Luna, take them back…please." Abradolf said as he winced from his fatal injuries. With tears in her eyes, Luna complied and hurriedly led her sisters away from Abradolf, mere moments before he closed his eyes and finally found his peace.

"Luna, he's okay, right?" Lola asked pleadingly.

"Y-Yeah. He's fine." Luna said hesitantly.

"You're lying." Lisa deduced as tears formed in her eyes.

With that, Luna only gave a sad nod as she led her younger sisters back to the house.

 **Dimension WD-99 (Loud House 1** **st** **Floor Living Room) 11:43 PM**

Luna, Lola, Lana, and Lisa arrived with melancholy expressions through the front door, with Luna immediately handing Rick the crystals and Rick giving her a peanut butter ice cream bar.

"Aw, you're the greatest, Pixie Cut!" Rick said excitedly after the exchange.

"Wait, grandpa! I need to tell you something." Luna said as her frown increased and tears welled up in her eyes.

"Luna, what is it?" Rick asked in concern.

"I couldn't have done it without Abradolf. He wanted me to tell you that he loves you like a father and he hoped that his final act redeemed him in your eyes." Luna said as her voice started to break, which made Lola, Lana, and Lisa form their own tears. "He sacrificed himself to save all of us, grandpa. He's dead."

Rick sighed deeply and said, "Well, at least he didn't die in vain, Luna. He got us these crystals." Strangely, instead of using the crystals to power a device to bring them back home, Rick had used a credit card to smash them into a bright red dust. He then snorted the dust through a straw, which almost instantly made his eyes turn blue. "And these crystals just saved this lame-ass party! Wubba-lubba-dub-dub!" Rick declared as he stood up, clearly high, much to Luna, Lana, Lola, and Lisa's confusion.

"Wait, what?" they said simultaneously as someone activated a boombox, which made Rick take a deep breath before he broke out into a strange dance.

" _Put your right foot forward and your left foot back and slide around like on a bloody NordicTrack! Move to the left. Step to the right. Wiggle your elbows and look up into the light!"_ Rick rapped as he danced to the song's instructions, which were infectious as most of the partygoers followed his example.

"Slow Mobius, hit me with a clock beam!" Rick requested as Slow Mobius complied and bathed Rick and the dancers in a purple glow, which allowed them to enjoy the dance for a few moments longer before the music ended.

"That's the Rick Dance!" Rick declared happily as he sat down to the cheers of the crowd. However, it didn't last long as Luna furiously approached him.

"What the hell was that?!" Luna yelled incredulously, much to the shock of the partygoers and her observing siblings. "I thought those crystals were supposed to get us home or something!"

"Uh, Luna, it's me. I could've gotten us home anytime I wanted." Rick bluntly said as his eyes started to return to normal, which made him scratch his face in anxiety. "And speaking of those crystals, is it cool if I have the rest of them? Crystal Kalaxian is a very strong, but fleeting high." Rick said as he held onto Luna to prevent himself from fainting. Unfortunately, Luna was too enraged by her grandfather's callousness to oblige.

She angrily took the remaining crystals, opened the living room window, and threw it out into the alternate dimension. "That's what I think of your dumb crystals, grandpa!" Luna yelled angrily.

"Okay, not cool, Luna." Rick lightly chastised as he looked around the room for another source. "Does anyone have any more K-Lax? Birdperson? Squanchy? King Flamel, who I kind of forgot was here?"

Birdperson merely shook his head 'no', Squanchy said, "Don't squanch at me.", and King Flamel said, "I haven't touched the stuff in twenty years."

"Okay, I don't care who's here, but this party's over! Grandpa, take us home, now!" Luna demanded in a tone that rivaled Lola on her worst days, which made the pageant girl whimper slightly in fear.

"Okay, f-f-fair enough." Rick complied as he took out the device from his coat pocket, only to offhandedly mention as Lori, Lincoln, and Ronnie Anne walked up behind him, having missed most of the dance and Luna's outburst, "So, I guess we won't be bringing Bobby's body back for a funeral."

"We won't have a what?!" Lori and Ronnie Anne yelled simultaneously.

"Oh, Lori, Ronnie Anne! Uh, this is…awkward." Rick said sheepishly.

"Grandpa, what are you talking about?!" Lori asked incredulously.

"Yeah, where's my big brother?!" Ronnie Anne demanded in concern.

"Okay, years from now we're just going to laugh and laugh about this." Rick said as he put on a half-fake smile, which faltered from their concerned expressions. "Well, probably not Bobby. I think he gotten eaten by a giant owl."

"Oh, dear God!" Lori and Ronnie Anne yelled, horrified as Lincoln put his comforting hands on their backs.

Suddenly, the entire crowd heard a loud, screeching sound that grew louder as a giant owl head crashed through the wall where Luna threw away the crystals, smashing the living room TV in the process. Surprisingly, Bobby emerged unscathed and clad in a brown loincloth. The giant bird then left with Bobby yelling back, "Thanks, Icarus!"

"Bobby, you're okay!" Lori and Ronnie Anne, immensely relieved as they warmly embraced the teenaged boy.

"Ladies, I'm fine and you won't imagine what kind of adventure I've been on!" Bobby said in awe as he started to tell them his story. "It all began when I…"

"Okay, coming down pretty hard from my high! We don't have time for a flashback!" Rick yelled as he activated the device, which illuminated them, the house, and his lab in a green glow before it vanished from the dimension.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 9:00 AM**

Once the house and lab returned to its home dimension, the front door opened with most of the partygoers leaving. However, Squanchy was never the type to let a party end like that, so he declared, "Hey, squanchers! The party's squanching over at my place!" His offer was met with cheers as most of them accepted and left with him. Given that the party was over, the Loud family had to say goodbye to the people they enjoyed it with.

"So, I'll you know…see you around?" Lynn nervously asked Anwar as his father opened a portal back home.

"Until next time, my Fire Rose." Anwar said affectionately as he kissed her left cheek, which while burning a bit of her skin, made the young tomboy smile as Anwar left with his father.

"If you ever need a friend to depend on, I'm there." George said as he waved goodbye to Leni.

"Thanks, and I'll see you around." Leni said happily.

"It was…cool to meet you, Scary Terry." Lucy admitted as she formed a small smile.

"Likewise. Remember, I'll always be in your nightmares." Scary Terry said menacingly, which only increased Lucy's smile as he teleported away in a yellow flash.

"All things considered, this was an awesome party." Ronnie Anne admitted as she hugged Lincoln, which brought a warm blush to the young boy's face.

"Right now, this is the most awesome part." Lincoln said affectionately as he gave her a small kiss on the cheek, which the young tomboy accepted and reciprocated.

"Babe, sorry we couldn't hang out more. Did you at least have fun?" Bobby asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah, I did, but I'm just glad you're okay, Boo-Boo Bear." Lori said sincerely as she and Bobby shared a quick kiss before he took Ronnie Anne back home, which made Lily stir awake with a smile on her face.

"It doesn't make much sense for us to even talk to each other, but you're easy on the eyes and no one at school has to know." Maggie said monotonously, which made Luan blush madly.

"T-Thanks. W-W-We should hang out again, you know?" Luan asked hopefully as Maggie gave her answer with a small kiss on her cheek before she left.

Since Bianca had taken Squanchy's offer, Luna and Freddy stared at each other in a comfortable silence while Luna snacked on her ice cream, having mostly calmed down.

"Do all of your parties get as crazy as this?" Freddy asked curiously.

"Only in the Loud house, Freddy. Only in the Loud house." Luna answered, which made them break into a healthy fit of laughter, but after it ended, Freddy took out a pen from his jeans and scribbled his number on Luna's arm, which made the rocker girl blush madly.

"Call me, okay?" Freddy requested as Luna gave an excited nod before he left.

Soon enough, Lori got a text message from their parents as Rick collapsed onto the couch. Lori's eyes widened in shock when she read it.

"Guys, mom and dad are going to be home in ten minutes." Lori grimly said, which made all her siblings' eyes widen in panic as they saw the destruction Rick's party inadvertently created. Knowing that they didn't have enough time to completely fix the house, the Loud kids morosely grabbed trash bags and picked up what they could, with Luna even throwing her ice cream into her bag. However, they were unaware of the remaining straggler from Rick's guests, who grabbed a few pieces of garbage.

"May I assist you, my nieces and nephew?" Birdperson asked as Luna approached him and placed his collected items into the trash.

"Thanks, Uncle Birdperson, but we're probably going to be grounded for life." Luna deadpanned as she shot a harsh glare at her grandfather. "I don't get him sometimes. The whole point of this party was to relax and now we're all on the chopping block because of him."

Birdperson then cleared his throat loudly, which got the kids' attention. He then said, "Kids, do any of you _**know**_ what "Wubba-lubba-dub-dub" means?"

"Oh, that's just grandpa's weird, nonsensical catchphrase." Lisa said dismissively.

"It's not nonsense at all, Lisa. In my people's tongue, it means, "I am in great pain. Please help me."" Birdperson revealed, which made most of the Loud kids gasp in shock.

"No offense, but it's pretty clear he's saying it ironically." Lola harshly guessed.

"No, he isn't Lola. Rick has been in perpetual pain and misery for most of his life. That is why he has consistently numbed himself several times, but this is the first time in nine years it has happened." Birdperson stated, which made them all form uncomfortable expressions.

"That…that can't be true." Lincoln said in disbelief.

"It is very much so, Lincoln. He has resisted ever since he moved in with you after Lucy's birth, but he has confided to me how much he regrets all the pain and turmoil you've all had to suffer directly or indirectly." Birdperson revealed as he formed a rare frown.

"Then, what caused it? Why now?" Lucy asked in concern.

Birdperson took in a deep breath and answered, "The day of the party was…what would've been his wedding anniversary."

The second he said that, the entire room fell into an uncomfortable silence, with Luna and Lola especially stunned by the revelation. However, it didn't last long as Lori received another text from their parents.

"Guys, we've got about five minutes." Lori said monotonously, unable to muster any other tone.

"Do not allow Rick to know that I told you. Your grandfather depends on all of you; never forget that." Birdperson advised before he opened his wings and yelled, "Tammy!" With that, Tammy emerged from the other room and leapt onto Birdperson's back. He then flew them out through the hole in the living room.

Mere moments after he and Tammy left, Luna and rest of the Loud siblings stared at Rick in concern, even Lily. However, Luna was the one to make the first move as she abandoned her trash bag and shook Rick's body to wake him up.

"Grandpa, time to wake up." Luna said seriously, which thankfully stirred Rick to wake up.

"Luna? Ugh, are you going to yell at me some more?" Rick asked as he struggled to sit up.

"That doesn't matter now, grandpa. Mom and dad are going to be here any minute. We have to find a way to fix this." Luna said as she struggled to get Rick off the couch.

"That's good, Pixie Cut. C-C-Can someone give me some water?" Rick requested as he rubbed his temples. Thankfully, Lynn managed to oblige and handed him a bottle of water after a few moments, which the hungover scientist accepted with a relieved grin.

"Oh, that hits the spot, Sweet Honeybee." Rick said sincerely after he downed almost the entire bottle in a few gulps.

"Aw, man! I can see Vanzilla!" Luan said fearfully.

"Okay, just someone b-b-bring me the, the thing." Rick groggily requested.

"What thing, grandpa?" Lana asked in concern.

"The thing, you know. I-It's got a b-b-bunch of lights on it and it beeps." Rick stated as he rubbed his temples.

"Grandpa, that literally describes everything in your lab!" Lori pointed out, only for her eyes to widen when she saw Vanzilla in the driveway.

"We're dead and not in a good way." Lucy morbidly stated.

"Is this it?" Leni asked as she handed Rick a small, black walkie-talkie-like device.

"Angel Smile for the win!" Rick said gruffly as he activated the device, which sent small ripples of yellow energy throughout the house. When it faded, Rick stated, "That should do it."

"Do what?" Lana asked.

"See for yourselves." Rick tiredly stated as he gestured outside. Unsure of what transpired, the Loud kids complied and gasped in shock when they saw their parents apparently frozen in time, each with angered scowls on their faces when they were on their way inside.

"What did you do?" Lincoln asked, amazed.

"Oh, I just temporarily stopped time." Rick answered nonchalantly, only to add with a hint of smugness, "And Slow Mobius thinks he's all that."

"Uh, how long is this supposed to last?" Luna asked in concern.

"That depends on how long you want. A week, a month, a year? I-I-I did this a few times when I was about to get in trouble or I wanted to have a long weekend with a fine lady." Rick revealed, which only made the Loud kids look at their parents in unease.

"Is it cool if we just start cleaning the house and see how we feel?" Luna asked, which made Rick nod in agreement.

 **Loud House (Front Yard) 9:10 AM**

After what felt like months to them when repairs were completed, the Loud kids and Rick had enjoyed having time frozen. It was their golden ticket to do whatever they wanted, though with the promise of putting mostly everything back. As such, they had currently finished watching the premiere of _Two Brothers_ on a borrowed TV, which ended with them all booing at the movie.

"Ugh, what a waste of time!" Lincoln vocalized, which made his siblings, especially Luan, burst into a fit of laughter.

"Way to go, Linc!" Rick and Luan praised simultaneously.

"You know, since time got frozen, I haven't once heard you say "wubba-lubba-dub-dub". I'm not complaining, but why?" Lisa questioned.

"It's cool, Lisa. I don't need that old catchphrase anymore." Rick said reassuringly as he embraced all ten of his grandchildren. "From now on, the only catchphrase you'll hear is, "I love you."" Rick said sincerely, which made them all smile immensely.

Rick then ended his embrace and suddenly declared, "Just kidding, but that doesn't make it a lie! My new catchphrase is "Welcome to the Loud House, bitches!"" Rick declared as he activated a song on their borrowed boombox, which made the Loud kids erupt in a controlled frenzy of dancing.

"Yes, this chapter's over! Hopefully the next one won't take as long to finish!" Rick randomly shouted to the sky, much to the Loud kids' confusion. "Aw, yeah! See you guys in a few weeks, but hopefully not more than two months!"

With that, the Loud siblings and Rick enjoyed their impromptu dance party, each of them smiling immensely.

 **AN: And now, time to recap.**

 **Lack of proper subplot: yeah, I realized that it would be very difficult to merge all ten of their stories into the main plot, which is why I settled for splitting most of them and in the process, made it long enough that I felt that it didn't need one.**

 **Birdperson's relationship to the Loud Family: yeah, Rick's been living with them for a lot longer in canon, so he's popped in enough over the years that they see him as an uncle, which is why he doesn't revere Rick like he does in canon.**

 **Latest** _ **Loud House**_ **episodes: yes, I've seen them, with the latest one putting a major twist on the show dynamic, especially with Lincoln and Ronnie Anne. I'm not sure what to do for them right now, but hopefully** _ **Back Out There**_ **will give me some idea. The only guaranteed thing is that until I get there, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne will be together.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the latest chapter as soon as I can. Although, I can tell you that the next chapter is the last one before we meet the unfortunately-named, but most endearing character in the** _ **Rick and Morty**_ **fandom.**

 **Next time—Chapter 12: A Rickle in Time**


	12. A Rickle in Time

**AN: Hello, everyone. I'm grateful for all your support in this story and I appreciated the recent reviews. I know it's been a while, but all good things come to those who wait, so enjoy!**

 **Now, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 12: A Rickle in Time

 **Loud House (Front Yard) 9:10 AM**

While they were unsure of how much time had passed, given that it had been frozen since the party, the Loud children and Rick felt as if it'd been months. Thankfully, they hadn't aged a second since time was frozen, but oddly, dust was collecting on the frozen people and animals. As such, the kids were tasked with keeping their parents and pets in acceptable condition for when they unfroze time. Now, it was Lincoln and Lori's turn to clean their shirtless parents with handheld vacuum cleaners.

"Man, I never thought I'd be doing this." Lincoln said dismissively as he vacuumed his father, with Lori doing the same to their mother.

"Tell me about it. This has literally been awesome and everything, but at least you don't have to take care of mom's chest." Lori admitted with a hint of disgust as she once again cleaned the front of her mother.

"It's that bad?" Lincoln asked.

"Seventeen years or so of breastfeeding literally does not do wonders for a woman's body, Lincoln." Lori responded as she eyed her own in concern. "When I have kids, I'm going to stop at two or three."

"Me too, but I wish grandpa hadn't frozen time on such a humid day. I think mom and dad are getting mildew." Lincoln said in concern.

"Well, at least we got off lucky. Lola, Lana, Lucy, and Lynn are taking care of the pets." Lori said dismissively as she and Lincoln finished cleaning them.

Just as they were about to put their parents' shirts back on, Rick came outside from the house with a small frown.

"Okay, the fun's over kids. It's been about six months, so now we've got to set time back to normal." Rick said halfheartedly, having immensely enjoyed the extra time he had with the kids.

"Alright, grandpa. Let's just get mom and dad dressed first." Lincoln said obediently as he and Lori dressed their parents before going inside the house.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 9:10 AM**

Soon enough, the kids had gathered in the living room, with Lola, Lana, Lucy, and Lynn arranging their four pets in a fashion that was believable. Lola put Walt back in his birdcage, Lana put Geo back in his hamster ball, Lucy held onto Edwin Jr., and Lynn left Cliff in his litterbox. After that, they gathered around the couch with Rick presiding over them.

"Well, this has been the greatest time of my life, but now we've got to put it to an end." Rick said halfheartedly as he took out the device, ready to restart the timeline.

"Aw, do we have to?" Lola and Lana whined simultaneously.

"Sadly, yes. We've pushed it for as long as we can and there'll be massive consequences if we keep this up any longer." Rick revealed.

"Wait, I've been doing my own calculations. I'm unsure on what the effect will be once we restart the timeline." Lisa stated, vocalizing her concerns as she looked over her notebook.

"Oh, thanks for reminding me, Little Poindexter." Rick said, relieved before he turned to all his grandchildren. "Listen, as Lisa pointed out, there's going to be some major consequences once we restart time."

"What kind of major consequences grandpa?" Lincoln asked, confused.

"So, once time starts moving again, everyone else will be fine, but our time will need some time to catch up to everyone else's." Rick explained, only for Leni to raise her hand.

"Uh, what does that mean?" Leni asked.

"Basically, we need to avoid contact with any living creature once we restart time, or we'll instantly break into thousands of theoretical shards." Rick stated bluntly, which made all their eyes widen. Out of fear, Lucy grimaced as she discretely put down Edwin Jr. and silently nudged away from him.

"Wait, what?!" most of the Loud kids yelled incredulously, mere moments before Rick pushed the button.

"And aw-a-a-a-a-y we go!" Rick declared as he pushed the button.

As expected, ripples of yellow energy surged through the house, instantly restarting time for everyone else. When it faded, Rick motioned for the children to stand behind him as an angered Rita and Dante burst through the front door.

"I have half a mind to…!" Rita yelled, only to look around in confusion at the immaculate state of their house. "Wait, what?"

"I'm just as lost as you are, honey. I thought that the house was totally thrashed." Dante added in equal confusion.

"It's negative visualization, guys. It explains a lot on where you're at." Rick said confidently, covering the real reason. He then formed a small smile and waved at Dante. "Hey, son."

"Hey, dad." Dante said warmly as he went to hug him and the kids, only for them to step nervously back, remembering Rick's warning.

"Kids, what's going on? Why aren't you hugging me or your father?" Rita asked in confusion, knowing that they usually did so when they came home.

"Uh, we just…missed you so much!" Lori said hesitantly with a forced smile.

"Exactly! Just, too much to hug you, right now." Lisa chimed in.

"Yeah, trust me; it'd literally destroy them." Rick stated as he defensively motioned them away from Rita and Dante.

"Aw, not even a little hug?" Rita asked affectionately, with Lana almost succumbing to it before she was forcibly reined in by Lynn and Lola.

"Uh, listen! Why don't you guys just go out somewhere fun? I promise you that they'll hug you later." Rick hastily suggested, wanting to diminish the risk as much as he could. He then took out a wad of money from his right coat pocket and kicked it over to Rita and Dante.

"Whoa, that's about five-hundred dollars!" Dante said, amazed with the amount, but with Rita now glaring suspiciously at Rick.

"This better not be a bribe or something. If anything's wrong with the house, there'll be hell to pay, Rick." Rita said threateningly, only to then cheerfully smile at her kids before leaving with Dante. "Be good, kids!"

As the group let out a sigh of relief when they left, Lincoln's eyes suddenly widened. "Uh, did we ever put that mattress under Mr. Grouse?" Lincoln asked, having remembered that their elderly neighbor had been falling from his roof when they froze time.

Suddenly, they got their answer as they heard a massive thud from next door, alongside an elderly man screaming in pain, which made the Loud kids' eyes widen in realization.

"Ow, my scapula!" Mr. Grouse yelled in pain, much to Rick's apathy.

"Well, that sucks." Rick nonchalantly said as he took a swig from his flask.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Kitchen) 10:02 AM**

After calling for help and watching their elderly neighbor finally get loaded into the ambulance, the Loud kids had saddened expressions as Rick grabbed some drinks from the fridge for them.

"Wow, I feel terrible." Lori stated as she grabbed her head in remorse.

"I wouldn't worry about it, kids. I mean, the universe is a pretty fickle mistress." Rick said comfortingly as he handed them each a drink, with a bottle of milk for Lily.

"Still, I can't help but feel bad for the old codger." Leni said morosely and then innocently asked, "Who was supposed to put the mattress under him?"

"She was." Lucy and Lynn said simultaneously as they pointed to the other one. "Wait, what? That was your job!" Lucy and Lynn argued.

"I remember that Lori told me to put back the bank money and that she told _**you**_ to put the mattress underneath Mr. Grouse." Lucy tersely stated.

"No, she told me to do that while _**you**_ put the mattress underneath Mr. Grouse!" Lynn countered.

"Actually, I can break this tie. Lori totally told _**you**_ to put the mattress underneath Mr. Grouse, Lynn." Rick stated bluntly, having remembered the conversation.

"Yes! I knew I was right!" Lucy cheered as she formed a small smile, which made Lynn's eyes narrow at her.

"Shut it, Lucy! You don't have to be so smug about it!" Lynn said angrily, which made Lucy form a frown.

"At least I don't smell like crusty gym socks!" Lucy said spitefully, which made Lynn's eyes widen with anger.

"Guys, just calm down before anyone says something that they'll regret." Lincoln, Lori, and Rick said simultaneously, wanting to diffuse the situation.

"Well, at least I have normal eyes!" Lynn tersely yelled, which made the remaining Loud siblings gasp incredulously and Rick slowly motion himself towards Lucy. However, after gasping, Lucy hung her head in sadness, which made Lynn form a remorseful expression, knowing that was a low-blow to Lucy.

"Oh, geez. Lucy, I'm sorry that I…" Lynn started, only for a grayed-out version of Lucy to punch her, which only contacted a grayed-out version of Lynn. However, none of the Loud siblings or Rick could see what was going on.

"I'm going to kill you!" Alternate Lucy yelled angrily to Alternate Lynn, unaware that the Loud siblings and Rick could hear them.

"Hey, I'm trying to apologize, here!" Lynn said placatingly, thinking that came from the real Lucy.

"So, what's stopping you?" Lucy asked morosely.

Suddenly, Alternate Lynn put Alternate Lucy in a headlock, and yelled, "Say Uncle, freak!"

"Why would I?" Lucy asked, confused, unaware that Rick's eyes were widening in apprehension.

"Oh, this is bad! This is beyond bad!" Rick yelled fearfully as his voice started to overlap with another version of his. The Loud siblings stared at their surroundings and noticed that everything was shaking, which could also be seen by the alternate Lynn and Lucy.

Soon enough, all their voices echoed until it suddenly stopped, with only Rick aware of what transpired. Unbeknownst to the Loud siblings, there were now two identical realities, only with Lynn-2 and Lucy-2 in different places from their prime counterparts.

"Oh, this is bad! What did you two just do?!" Both Ricks asked incredulously to their Lucy and Lynn.

"What are you talking about, grandpa?" Both Lucys asked, hearing themselves simultaneously. "Wait, what am I saying?"

"Were either of you two uncertain about anything just now?" Both Ricks asked in concern.

"Oh, man I don't feel good." Lynn-1 stated as she held her stomach.

"Am I talking right now?" Lynn-2 asked, out of synch with her prime counterpart.

"I think so. Wait, who said that?" Both Lynns asked, confused.

"Okay, this could've gone a lot worse. Everyone, don't speak, don't talk, and don't think. Come with me to the lab, immediately." Both Rick's ordered as he put his drink on the counter, with most of the Loud siblings complying as they did the same before they left, except for both versions of Lucy and Lynn.

"What should we do, Lynn?" Lucy-1 asked her Lynn.

"I'm going to help grandpa." Lucy-2 stated to her Lynn as she left to see her siblings.

"Let's see if we can help." Lynn-1 responded as she and her Lucy left with the rest of their siblings.

"Ugh, I can help too." Lynn-2 said in exasperation as she followed her Lucy.

 **Rick's Lab (Unknown Time)**

Soon enough, both versions of the Loud siblings and Rick arrived at his lab, with only both versions of Lucy and Lynn out of synch. Both Ricks took out a large, computer-like device with three knobs on the bottom-left corner. However, when they turned the knob on the far left, they saw a black screen with two green dots, which made them both groan in exasperation.

"Ugh, two dots, again?! This never needs to be more than one dot!" Both Rick said fearfully.

"Hang on, what's happening?" Both Lincolns asked.

"It's Lucy and Lynn, Lincoln! Their argument made us uncertain!" Both Ricks revealed.

"Wait, what?!" Both Lisas exclaimed in disbelief as they each hastily did calculations in their notebooks.

"What does that mean, grandpa?" Both Lucys asked.

"In English, Grandpa Rick?" Both Lynns added.

"Our time, for lack of a better term, is fractured. Your argument created a feedback loop of uncertainty that's split our reality into two equally possible impossibilities." Both Ricks clarified.

"So, what does that mean?" Both Loris asked, only for both Ricks to notice that their Luans were smiling.

"Take it away, Cutie Clown." Both Ricks offered with a smile.

"What's the similarity between our situation and a single man trying to keep a platonic relationship with a female co-worker? We're completely hypothetical!" Both Luans joked, which made both versions of the Loud siblings and Rick burst into a fit of laughter.

"All jokes aside, she's exactly right." Both Rick stated as they composed themselves.

"Wait, I thought that there were infinite timelines." Both Lynns said, confused.

"The thing is, we're not in _**any**_ timeline anymore. Let's look outside." Both Ricks stated as he pressed a button on his table, which sent the gadgets on its side underground before the wall changed into a large mirror. Both versions of the Loud siblings gasped in shock when they saw an endless black void, populated with several breeds of cats floating in air.

"Whoa, what the?" Both Lincolns asked in awe.

"Are those kitties?" Both Lenis asked in concern.

"They're Schrodinger's cats, Angel Smile. Well, to be more accurate, they both are and aren't; just like us." Both Ricks stated as their eyes narrowed in determination towards the computer-like device.

"Wait, shouldn't we have literally seen them when we walked over here?" Both Loris asked as they scratched their heads in confusion.

"That doesn't matter. We're running out of time." Both Lisas said dismissively as they went over their calculations.

"Is the world gone? Where are mom and dad?" Lynn-1 and Lucy-2 asked their Ricks in concern.

"Look, don't w-w-worry about your parents, kids. They get to exist and they're probably having a sub-plot involving their happy marriage." Both Ricks said reassuringly, much to the confusion of both versions of the Loud siblings.

"Wait, what?" Both versions of the Loud siblings asked.

 **Royal Woods Park 10:20 AM**

Meanwhile, Rita and Dante were sitting on a park bench, each with snow cones in one of their hands and a smile on their faces.

"Ah, this is the life, huh, honey?" Rita said blissfully as they held hands like high school sweethearts.

"I can't argue with you, Rita. There's something amazing about today." Dante replied as he turned to Rita and affectionately kissed her forehead.

"Stop it! We're not dating!" Rita said good-naturedly, knowing that they did stuff like this in the old days.

"I know, but I can't get over how unbelievable it is that someone like me found someone like you." Dante said sincerely, only to briefly turn away from her, much to Rita's confusion.

"Dante, what's going on?" Rita asked in concern as Dante let out a long sigh,

"It's just that…I know that things are different since the old days." Dante said in resignation. "I mean, we're married, we have eleven kids, but I know that I'm not the young guy you met at your crossing guard job anymore."

"Oh, you're being silly, Dante. As hard as it is to believe, I'm still as crazy about you as when we met." Rita said warmly as she lovingly intertwined her fingers with his.

"You really mean that?" Dante asked hopefully.

"Of course, big lug. After all, who was there with reassuring words during each of my pregnancies when I was feeling self-conscious about my appearance?" Rita asked affectionately.

"How could I forget? Every time you said that you were fat or ugly, I was always there to tell you that you weren't." Dante replied with a loving grin.

"And it made all the difference." Rita said sincerely, only to form an embarrassed blush. "It's kind of the reason why I let you pump so many kids into me."

"Like I could help myself every time I saw you…especially when you wear your old crossing guard uniform." Dante said flirtatiously, which made Rita's face turn bright red.

"How can you be such a charmer, Dante Loud?" Rita asked as she formed a small, goofy grin.

"Well, I am half-Hispanic. It helps sometimes." Dante replied with a smoldering gaze as the two threw their snow cones in the trash and passionately kissed, each blushing brightly.

 **Rick's Lab (Unknown Time)**

Both Ricks were working on the device that would rejoin their realities, with both versions of their grandchildren looking on in anticipation.

"Ugh, I should've known better than to freeze time. It's incredibly irresponsible." Both Ricks said to themselves, knowing that this was mostly their own fault.

"They why do it for so long to clean up after a party?" Both Lenis questioned.

"It was my own fault, Angel Smile. I was having too much fun with all of you, so I didn't want it to end." Both Ricks said sincerely, which made all their grandchildren gush.

"Well, as sincere as that was, we have a problem." Both Lisas said fearfully after going over their calculations.

"Exactly, Little Poindexter. We're running out of time." Both Ricks stated as they gestured to the slowly crumbling lab around them. "You see, uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. Eventually, everything either is or isn't…and we've got about four hours to become 'is.'"

"Or what, grandpa?" Both Lolas and Lanas asked as they held onto each other.

"Let's just say it won't be pretty." Both Ricks answered after a brief pause. Thankfully, he finished creating the device, which was powered by a small pink crystal.

"Alright, you did it, Grandpa Rick!" Both Lincolns praised.

"Always appreciate the praise, Linc." Both Ricks said affectionately before they started to explain the device's use. "Okay, since the Time Crystal that powers this exists in both realities, and it's insanely unlikely that I didn't nail this, I'm probably about to press this button in both realities at the same time."

"How do you know that?" Lynn-1 and Lucy-2 asked simultaneously.

"The short answer is: I'm amazing." Rick answered tersely before he formed a large grin as he prepared to push the button. "And aw-a-a-a-a-y we go!"

As he pushed the button, the two realities seemingly began to merge perfectly, with Rick pleasantly surprised with the results as he and most of the Loud siblings joined with their alternate bodies.

"Well, that takes care of that!" Rick said confidently, only to notice that Lynn and Lucy were both fading in and out, yelling in pain. Rick's eyes widened when he realized what this meant. "Oh, crap."

As soon as he said that, their reality split again, only with both Ricks now knowing why it had failed.

"What's going on with you two, or four as it were?" Both Ricks asked their Lucy and Lynn.

"Ugh, why was that so painful?" Lynn-1, Lucy-2, and Lynn-2 said simultaneously, with Lucy-1 having her arms crossed in concern.

"It's because you're both out of synch with your doppelganger!" Both Ricks exclaimed as the other Loud siblings stared at their Lynn and Lucy in disappointment.

"What?! We've been split for…how long, Lisa?" Both Lolas asked in confusion.

"Based on this dimensional plane, about twenty minutes." Both Lisas answered as they went over their meticulous notes.

"Which means, you two are already scattered through the cosmic wind and it needs to get fixed, fast!" Both Lunas exclaimed fearfully.

"Luna's right, girls. Besides, what do you two have to be uncertain about?" Both Ricks asked in concern to their Lucy and Lynn.

"Well, you're a little biased, grandpa!" Both Lynns exclaimed, only for each of them to diverge.

"You always do your best to help us, but you totally love Lucy more!" Lynn-1 harshly accused.

"You gave Lucy a freaking alien fox for her birthday! How is that fair?" Lynn-2 asked incredulously.

"That's a lie, Lynn. Besides, when you lost your first basketball game, who played you in a rematch to make you feel better?" Lucy-1 stated stoically.

"Oh, my God! How can you be less mature than me? I'm nine and you're thirteen!" Lucy-2 exclaimed in exasperation.

"Okay, whatever's going on here, cool it." Both Ricks stated in exasperation as they pinched the ridge of their noses, before Rick-2 discretely rearranged his Lucy and Lynn to match Rick-1's. "Now, listen, there's nothing to worry about when it comes to how I feel about you two, and that goes for the rest of you, too." Both Ricks then scratched their chin in contemplation before they went to get their whiteboard. "Okay, I know how to settle this once and for all. I've been meaning to do something like this, anyway."

 **Gus' Games and Grub 12:15 PM**

After finishing their romantic encounter in the park, Dante and Rita spent some time at their old stomping ground for lunch. While the two fondly remembered their first date at Bangers and Mosh, they had spent a generous amount of time here during their dating years, mainly on the weekends.

"Well, this brings back memories." Rita said flirtatiously as they sat in their old booth.

"How could it not? Remember on the night after my freshman finals, when we got so wasted and we wound up making out on this table?" Dante asked warmly with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, my God! That was so crazy!" Rita admitted with a snorting laugh.

"Well, we were young and in love. It's a shame that it's only half-right now." Dante said wistfully.

"You know, I have a very naughty idea, Dante." Rita said flirtatiously as she whispered something in Dante's left ear that made him blush immensely.

"Whoa, it's been a…long time since we've done that." Dante said, somewhat nervously as he formed a goofy smile.

"What can I say? There's something about this place that brings it out in me." Rita said with a beckoning stare.

"Are you sure? I mean, we haven't done _**that**_ here in years." Dante replied with a small chuckle.

"I'm sure, honey. We might not be young anymore, but let's give the newer generation something that only a happily married couple can do in public." Rita said seductively as she got out of her seat and motioned for Dante to follow her, which he was more than happy to do.

"Well, it may not be as good as it was before. I mean, we only do it at home now." Dante bashfully said as he scratched the back of his head.

"Let's do it, Dante." Rita stated with finality as she led her husband to where they needed to be. She then formed a cheerful smile and yelled, "Let's dance like crazy!"

With that, Dante and Rita activated the _Dance Battle_ video game and showcased their decent dance moves, which garnered positive reception from the audience.

 **Rick's Lab (Unknown Time)**

Both Ricks had done several calculations on the whiteboard with orange and blue markers, with not even either Lisas able to keep up with the math. Still, both Ricks had a sincere smile on their faces as they explained.

"So, in conclusion, while I do love you all equally, there are moments where it seems like I give one or more of you kids special attention, but that is only because you all have different interests that I tailor to the situation." Both Ricks elucidated as he used a laser pointer to finish his presentation. He then put it away and said, "Okay, so there's no favorites, I love all eleven of you, and there's no need to be jealous. Now, is everyone certain about their placement in my world?"

"Yes, Grandpa Rick." Both versions of the Loud siblings said with a smile.

"Good, now I'm going to do this again and remember this; sit still, keep your arms down, and be like grandpa." Both Ricks stated as he held out the device again, both ready to press the button again.

"You mean, awesome?" Luan-2 playfully joked, with all her siblings and Rick breaking into a small fit of laughter as Rick-1 said, "And aw-a-a-a-a-y we go!"

"And aw-a-a-a-a-y we go!" Rick-2 said out of synch with his prime counterpart as he pressed the button a split second after Rick-1 did, to each of their confusion since the realities weren't merging again.

"Huh, that's weird." Both Ricks said, obliviously out of synch as the repeated the process. Suddenly, both of their eyes widened when they jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"Oh, my God. The son of a bitch is going to kill me!" Rick-1 stated quickly as he ran to his workbench.

"What?!" Rick-1's grandchildren yelled incredulously.

"The son of a bitch is going to kill me!" Rick-2 similarly stated as he did the same thing a few moments later.

"What?!" Rick-2's grandchildren yelled incredulously.

"Follicle, unfeeling sociopath!" Rick-1 declared as he took the Time Crystal out of the remote and implanted it in a gun-like device, with his counterpart doing the same thing.

"Don't you get it?! The other Rick isn't trying to merge with us anymore!" Rick-2 theorized as both Ricks turned to face their grandchildren, now in synch. "He thinks that he can save himself and his grandkids by using the crystal's power to kill me. He probably figures that it's easier to eliminate one of the possibilities instead of merging them."

Both Ricks darkly chuckled at their grandkids looked in shock, unaware of what to do or say in this kind of situation.

"I have to admit, it's always in the back of my mind too. The difference being is that I would never do it…until now!" Both Rick stated with finality as they continued to work on their weapons.

"Grandpa, what's going on?!" Both Lincolns asked incredulously.

"I'm saving our lives, Lincoln! If he takes me out, he'll be coming for all of you next, and I won't let that happen!" Both Ricks yelled desperately as they finished fabricating their guns.

"Wait, who?!" Both Lynns asked in confusion.

"Me!" Rick-1 yelled as he held the gun to his head and pulled the trigger, unaware that Rick-2 ducked at the last second, which sent a bullet into the latter's reality.

"What the nuts?!" Rick-2's grandchildren yelled incredulously when they saw the bullet, with Rick-2 now aiming above at where Rick-1 was.

"You see what I mean?! Get down, kids!" Rick-2 commanded as he fired a shot into Rick-1's reality, with Rick-1 barely able to dodge it in time as he ran behind the whiteboard.

"What the nuts?!" Rick-1's grandchildren yelled incredulously.

"I told you, he's a psycho!" Rick-1 yelled protectively as he fired shots that narrowly missed Rick-2.

"T-T-The time fracture must've made him crazy!" Rick-2 declared as he did his own assault on Rick-1, each of them expertly dodging the other one's shots, with thankfully neither of them hitting either versions of their grandchildren.

"I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!" Rick-1 yelled fearfully, only for each of the Ricks to feel their realities splitting again.

"Oh, this is bad!" Both Lisas vocalized as their voices started to split from the new realities forming. As expected, now there were four versions of the Loud siblings and Rick, with each of the Rick's looking at their computer-like devices in concern, which now had four green dots.

"Son of a bitch! Now, there's three of them!" All the Ricks yelled in apprehension as they then pointed towards the cupboards. "Kids, get in the cupboards!"

As all the Loud siblings complied, all the Ricks instantly stopped them from hiding. "Wait, don't get in the cupboards! They'll be expecting that! Just, think about going into them, but not really!"

Suddenly, all the Ricks roared in anger as they each randomly fired into a corner, which harmlessly hit nothing in any of their realities. However, all the Ricks had fearful expressions as they continued their now-pointless assault.

"Is this what you want, you sick, sick, bastard?! You want to kill eleven angels?!" All the Ricks defiantly yelled, clearly more concerned with their grandchildren's lives than their own.

 **Royal Woods Multiplex 2:25 PM**

After finishing their dancing at Gus' Games and Grub, Rita and Dante went to the multiplex and had just finished watching a movie. The two sat down at the bench next to the movie they'd seen, each with a wistful smile on their faces.

"Hmm, it's been a long time since we've watched a movie here, uninterrupted." Rita stated as the two held hands.

"I know, it's been refreshing not to constantly make sure that the kids are safe." Dante said as he let out a nostalgic chuckle.

"Yeah, no messes to clean up…" Rita trailed off as she formed a saddened expression.

"No telling the kids to behave…" Dante said similarly.

"No hugging them when they get scared…" they said simultaneously, each with a despondent expression.

"Huh, we really aren't as happy with each other compared to when we're together as a family, are we?" Dante vocalized as he gently cupped Rita's hands.

"I guess not. Still, all things considered, I'd change nothing about the last twenty years." Rita said with a bittersweet smile.

"It's been the best years of my life. Let's go home and share some more with the kids." Dante said wistfully as the two left the multiplex.

 **Rick's Lab (Unknown Time)**

All the Ricks shushed their grandchildren as they circled different positions for where one of the other Ricks would be, each with a determined expression on their faces.

"I know where you are, you creepy, old monster. I know how you think!" All the Ricks yelled in defiance, unaware that they weren't any closer to killing any of themselves.

"Grandpa, this is getting crazy!" All the Lynns yelled fearfully.

"Don't worry, Sweet Honeybee; I know how to kill him!" All the Ricks said reassuringly, only to let out a morose chuckle as they serendipitously stood in the same place. "I won't let any of you die, kids! You think that I'm here?" All the Ricks stated as they suddenly turned their guns underneath their chins, ready to pull the trigger. "Maybe you're right!"

Shockingly, all the Lenis knocked out all the Ricks with an emergency fire extinguisher, which made all the remaining Loud siblings jaws to open incredulously.

"Whoa, Leni. I didn't know you had it in you." All the Loris said with awe.

"I would've figured Lincoln, Lori, or Lynn to do that, but you?" All the Luans said in disbelief.

"Everyone, stop talking! We need to determine exactly what we need to do, now!" All the Lisas pleaded as they went over their notes.

"Okay, based on grandpa's explanation, if all the Lenis knocked out all the Ricks and all the Lilys peed in their diapers…" All the Lincolns stated, only to notice their Lolas raise their hands.

"And all the Lolas almost fainted from genuine fear." All the Lolas admitted sheepishly.

"It means we should be synchronized!" All the Lisas declared, further interrupting all the Lincolns' explanations.

"I think Lisa's right. But, what should we do now?" All the Lucys asked as all the Lunas changed their Lilys diapers.

"Whatever happens next, we need to be certain about everything, right?" All the Lynns asked their Lisas, with all of them nodding.

"So, what can we say with certainty, now?" All the Lanas asked as they picked up their Ricks' guns.

"I'm certain that without a conscious grandpa, we're effed in the 'A'." All the Lenis admitted as they and their siblings approached the workbench, ready to find a solution for their problem.

After a decent amount of time passed, all the Loud siblings waited for their Ricks to awaken after they put him in a human-sized cage that they found in one of the lower levels of his lab, which were miraculously unscathed from the dimensional shift. As such, all the Ricks slowly stirred awake with a massive headache.

"Ugh, my head. Who knocked me out?" All the Ricks asked, unfazed by their imprisonment.

"Leni did, grandpa. I'm sorry, but you were acting crazy!" All the Lincolns replied with indignant expressions.

"Yeah, and you literally created another time fracture by accident!" All the Loris added similarly.

"You actually tried to kill yourself! What would we have done if you did?!" All the Lucys and Lynns yelled simultaneously, on the verge of tears.

"I only went so far because I was trying to protect you! All of you!" All the Ricks yelled in concern, only to pinch the ridge of their noses in exasperation. "Look, I love you all, but with another time fracture, we're running out of time!"

"He does have a point. Our problem is twice as bigger and we have half as much time to fix it, now." All the Lisas admitted as they went over their notes.

"With that out of the way, can you kids let me out of here?" All the Ricks requested and then formed a sheepish smile. "If I die in a crate, I lose a bet."

"I'm sorry, but no!" All the Loud siblings yelled firmly.

"The only way you're getting out of there is if you can find some way to prove that you aren't a threat to yourselves and others anymore!" All the Lenis yelled, vocalizing their siblings' concerns.

"I have a way; just give me the Time Crystal." All the Ricks requested, with all the Lanas begrudgingly obliging, knowing that their Ricks couldn't kill themselves with just the crystal.

"What are you planning on doing with that, grandpa?" All the Lucys asked suspiciously.

"Relax, Sugar Bat. I'm calling myself." All the Ricks said reassuringly as the each inserted their Time Crystal into their phones. "It's probably going to voicemail since I'm very literally calling myself."

As expected, Rick's phone went to voicemail, with all the Ricks leaving the same message; _"Hey, Rick it's me. I'm sorry for trying to kill you, but you know that I was doing it for the kids. No hard feelings, okay?"_

When the message ended, all the Ricks played back all three voicemails they'd gotten from each other to prove it to their grandchildren. However, none of their expressions had changed out of fear that their Rick would make the same error.

"Well, as convincing as that was, I'm literally not sure if we should let you out." All the Loris admitted.

"No problem, Honey Bunny. I can let myself out." All the Ricks said nonchalantly as they took out their Freeze Rays and froze their cage. With a swift kick, all the Ricks broke free of their prison, much to their grandchildren's surprise.

"Wait, you could've done that the whole time?" All the Lynns asked in confusion.

"If you could do that, why didn't you do it earlier?" All the Lucys added similarly.

"Because, kids, I needed to wait until it was certain that I wanted to do that." All the Ricks clarified, only to shoot a harsh glare at their Lucys and Lynns. "As much as I love you two, don't forget that this escalated because you two couldn't get along in time."

"Well, what did you expect?!" All the Lynns and Lucys shouted simultaneously, only for them all to be interrupted as a mysterious creature appeared in a transparent bubble.

"What the heck is that?!" All the Loud siblings yelled in disbelief as the bubble surrounding the creature disappeared.

The creature was a red, vascular monster who appeared to be made of internal flesh with several small little hairs on it. His only facial feature was a giant mouth full of crooked and disordered yellowish teeth. He had long arms with three fingers and a thumb on each hand with his lower body simply floating off the ground. He wore a ripped, long tan robe that was torn at the trim and ends of the sleeves. He also wore a brown satchel, likely used for storing his equipment. This was Shleemypants.

"Okay, just calm down, everyone! Calm down!" Shleemypants said placatingly to all versions of the Loud siblings as he inspected the temporal damage. "Oh, what the hell did you do? Your time is broken like a defective condom!" He then turned and pointed an accusatory finger at Rick before he yelled, "You actually broke your time, twice!"

All the Ricks sighed in displeasure, clearly not thrilled with seeing a 4th dimensional creature in their midst.

"How the hell did this happen?!" Shleemypants asked incredulously, with all the Loud siblings answers overlapping each other. Soon enough, the creature had enough and clutched at wherever his equivalent of ears was before responding.

"Shut, up! All of you!" Shleemypants demanded as he then cleared his throat before he clarified, "I'm from the 4th dimension. I can hear and see every version of you!"

"Just tell us what we need to do!" All the Lincolns begged.

"Calm down and let me see what we've got here." Shleemypants stated as he took the Time Crystal from all the Ricks' phone and formed an incredulous look, or whatever was the equivalent for his species. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me! You tried to fix time with this thing, when you're technically standing in it? Figures; all three-dimensional freaks are stupid!"

"Hey, don't talk about him like that!" All the Loud siblings yelled defensively, which made their Ricks smile warmly.

"Whatever, this needs fixing." Shleemypants said dismissively as he took out twelve metallic collars with a small light attached to the middle and dropped them on the floor. He then pointed at the objects and said, "Put these collars on and they'll synch your possibilities back to certain time."

With that, the first three versions of the Loud siblings and Rick complied and put on the collars, with only the fourth version of them refusing to do so.

"Hey, I said to put your collars on!" Shleemypants yelled to them, with the first three versions confused since they complied.

"What's he talking about?" Lucy-2 asked her siblings and Rick.

"We're wearing them, just like he said." Lynn-3 said in confusion.

"We're not putting on those collars, jackass!" Rick-4 yelled defiantly, with his grandkids standing their ground alongside him.

"I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to the obstinate old man in one of your possibilities!" Shleemypants clarified, with the first three versions nodding in understanding. "Put the collars on if you want to live!"

"Fine, but I'm not happy about it." Rick-4 said in exasperation as he and his grandkids put the collars on. Suddenly, the lights on all their collars in each of the possibilities glowed green, which instantly made each version of themselves disappear in a blue flash.

When they reappeared, they were now back in the lab, only it was clearly back in synch with the rest of time as the exterior resembled the real world. They all cheered immensely, knowing they were finally back home.

"Awesome, you did it!" Lincoln praised.

"I had my doubts, but you do impressive work." Rick admitted to the creature.

"I'm literally texting Bobby about this!" Lori said excitedly.

"Uh, you might want to hold off on that." Shleemypants stated as he motioned for them all to face him. "You need to wear those collars for a while so that your weak time doesn't break again."

"Any chance that you could tell us how long we need to wear these? They're kind of embarrassing." Lynn requested as she formed a small blush.

"Speak for yourself. I can like, totally find the perfect dress with this." Leni said dismissively.

"And it's so shiny! I'm never taking mine off!" Lola yelled cheerfully.

"Can we get some ice for my head, first?" Rick asked as he turned towards Leni, rubbing his head. "I don't hold it against you, Angel Smile, but you whacked me pretty good with that fire extinguisher."

"Oh, sorry, Grandpa Rick." Leni said apologetically.

"Well, since you're all going to Time Prison for aiding and abetting the thief, you can keep them on forever." Shleemypants calmly said as he took out a brown, slug-like creature from his satchel and aimed it at them like a gun. While they had no idea what it did, they all raised their hands as if it was a real gun.

"Wait, Time Prison?!" Lynn and Lucy incredulously asked.

"It kills me to do this since most of you are kids, but I've got no choice!" Shleemypants said as he began to explain his reasons. "Now look, I don't know how this could've happened, but the only way anyone from the third dimension could ever have a Time Crystal was if it was stolen from the fourth dimension; the same dimension _**this**_ old bastard travels through regularly!"

"Wait, you stole this crystal from these freaks, Grandpa Rick?!" Luna asked incredulously.

"I needed it for my research, Luna! I would've paid for it, but they wouldn't take my money, no matter how much I tried to give them!" Rick hastily explained as he then harshly glared at the creature. "Look, I messed up. Just…take me and let my grandkids go."

"Sorry, but I can't do that. As far as I'm concerned, they're all just as guilty as you." Shleemypants said as he cocked his slug-like creature like a gun. "And don't try anything funny. This will turn any of you into a third-trimester fetus from thirty yards!"

Shleemypants then retrieved his phone from his satchel and inserted the Time Crystal. After pressing a few buttons, he was apparently calling his fourth-dimensional allies. While Rick and the Loud siblings wanted to intervene, the creature's threat made them reluctantly stand down for now.

" _Okay, you need to come to Earth. You know, the planet that had dinosaurs?"_ Shleemypants conversed through his phone. _"If you run into the Dolphin People, you've gone too far. Got to go, buddy."_

Shleemypants then ended the call and made his equivalent of a determined stare at Rick and his grandkids. "You know what they do to third-dimensional lifeforms in Time Prison? For the sake of the kids, let's just say it's not a pleasant experience and it lasts forever."

"Why are you even doing this? Lily's the most innocent of us here!" Lynn yelled hastily as she pointed towards her youngest sister in Luna's arms.

"That doesn't matter. Age means nothing to fourth-dimensional creatures when it comes to punishment. Do you know why?" Shleemypants responded as he started to explain. "We're omniscient, immortal beings who are bound to traverse through time and space for eternity. It just gets old after a while and by bringing so many of you in, it's my ticket up."

"Well, what if I told you that there's a huge ticket up right behind you?" Rick asked as he grabbed a yellow wrench from the desk behind him. The Loud siblings lightly grinned when they realized what their grandfather was planning.

"Do you seriously think I'm that stupid?" Shleemypants asked dismissively.

"Okay, just hear me out. As an immortal being, your life is infinite, which means there's a hundred-percent chance that you'll inevitably do everything. If so, that also includes looking right behind yourself at this moment." Rick calmly explained, with Shleemypants unaware of Rick's grip tightening around the wrench.

"Hmm, you make an impressive argument." Shleemypants said as he then turned around, which allowed Rick to whack him over the head, momentarily disabling the creature. He then grabbed the gun and aimed it at Shleemypants, but the gun suddenly sprang to life, which made Rick and most of his granddaughters cringe in disgust.

"Okay, gross and weird!" Rick exclaimed at the gun wrestled out of his grasp and ran into the street, with Shleemypants attempting to retrieve it in time.

"Chris!" Shlemypants cried in vain as "Chris" ran into traffic and was unceremoniously crushed by a car. The fourth-dimensional creature then levitated towards Rick and yelled, "You killed my gun!"

"Kids, take your collars off, now!" Rick commanded as they all complied, with Luna having to undo Lily's for her since she wasn't strong enough. However, Shleemypants noticed this and incredulously asked, "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Good question, Testicle Head. I guess you could say…" Rick mocked as he broke off his own collar. His pupils briefly became dilated as he struggled to say the next words. "I'm…not…certain!"

With that, the realities split into two again, with Shleemypants noticing this in both realities. "Hey, what the hell did you do?!" Shleemypants yelled in disbelief.

"I'm not sure!" Rick-1 yelled in uncertainty.

"I have no idea!" Rick-2 yelled similarly as the realities now split into four possibilities.

With that, all the Ricks ganged up on the fourth-dimensional creature, much to the latter's chagrin as they punched him mercilessly.

"Stop that, you jerk!" Shleemypants childishly begged as he could do nothing to defend himself.

"You wanted to send underaged kids to prison for my crime and I'm the jerk?!" All the Ricks yelled incredulously, only seconds out synch with each other. "Still, I'm a nice guy, so maybe I will, maybe I won't!"

With that, the realities split again, only now with eight possibilities.

"I'm uncertain about everything, even when it comes to kicking your ass!" All the Ricks said, seconds out of synch, which made reality split into sixteen possibilities now.

"Okay, I'm not the nicest guy, but come on! These arms are vestigial!" Shleemypants pointed out, only for all the Ricks to continue their assault, with a few laying back as the more aggressive Ricks attacked the fourth-dimensional creature.

"Come on! We need to help, grandpa!" All the Loris, Lenis, Lunas, Luans, and Lynns said out of synch.

"Yeah! I've never been sure about anything!" All the Lincolns, Lucys, Lolas, and Lisas said similarly, which made reality split twice into thirty-two possibilities.

"Beat his ass!" A random assortment of Loris said encouragingly.

"Get him!" A random set of Lincolns said similarly.

"Beat him up!" A random group of Lynns said anxiously.

Soon enough, the assault was getting to be too much for Shleemypants and he was finally finished off when Rick-23 landed his first punch, which reduced him to a sentient puddle of flesh.

"Ow, I'm defeated!" Shleemypants yelled, mere moments before he disappeared in a blue flash.

"Wait, what's happening?" Lynn-23 asked, her timeline being the first to notice that Rick's lab was starting to come apart.

"Time is falling apart; we need to get to certainty, quick!" Rick-23 revealed, with all of them now in synch with each other.

"Wait, don't you have to fix, like, thirty of them?" All the Lucys asked as she glanced at the several green dots on Rick's computer-like device. They all formed a sheepish expression and said, "Did that make me sound like Leni?"

"Don't worry about either of those things, Sugar Bat. I need to fix twelve and there's thirty-one other versions of me that will also fix twelve, for a grand total of three-hundred-eighty-four. I know it sounds like a tall order, but it's very simple." All the Ricks said placatingly as they approached their workbench. "Look, since I can't give a choice right now, Lincoln, hand me that Phillips/Flathead screwdriver." All the Ricks said out of synch, only for them all to rescind that order and go for the other one. "Actually, make it a Flathead/Phillips."

Due to that brief indecisiveness, reality split into sixty-four other possibilities, which made all the Ricks groan in exasperation as their lab continued to crumble.

Thankfully, all the Ricks managed to overcome that and fixed the latches with hardly any time to spare, despite all the Loud siblings looking at their grandfather in concern.

"Okay, as ironic as this sounds, we're out of time! Put your collars on, now!" All the Ricks said hastily as his grandchildren complied, only with all the versions of himself, Lucy, and Lynn still in uncertainty. Unbeknownst to them, the thirtieth possibility hadn't successfully fixed their collars.

"Grandpa, something's wrong with my collar!" Lynn-30 yelled in fear as Lucy grimaced.

"What's wrong, Sweet Honeybee?" Rick-30 asked in concern, with Lucy and himself taking off their own collars to help her.

"I think it's the latch! It won't latch closed around her neck!" Lucy-30 yelled in rare anxiety.

"Wait, why aren't our collars green?" The rest of the Lynns asked.

"It must be because one of you is having trouble with the collar, which means at least one version of me is helping her!" The rest of the Ricks fearfully hypothesized.

"Oh, way to go, Spooky!" The rest of the Lynns sarcastically said to the rest of the Lucys.

"Me? It's probably you, Jockstrap." The rest of the Lucys retorted.

"Okay, are you sure that's it's broken, Lynn?" Rick-30 asked as he gently held his Lynn by her shoulders.

"Yes, it won't close!" Lynn-30 yelled desperately.

"You have to help her, grandpa!" Lucy-30 begged, on the verge of tears.

"It's cool. Just hand it to me." Rick-30 requested as he relinquished his grip and held out his left hand to fix it with the screwdriver. Unfortunately, he didn't get the chance as the floor underneath his Lynn finally gave out, which left her barely clinging to the ground before she suddenly fell into the dark void of Schrodinger's cats.

However, before Rick-30 had the chance to process this, his Lucy suddenly jumped into the hole with a determined expression on her face.

"Lynn! Lucy!" Rick-30 cried out as he looked through the hole his two granddaughters fell into.

"Are you seriously picking fights now, kids?! This is a literal life/death situation!" The rest of the Ricks yelled incredulously.

"Don't blame me for this! It's that emo-loving freak that's causing this!" The rest of the Lynns accused.

"Never call me a freak! You know why I hate that and you're the reason why we're even in this situation!" The rest of the Lucys harshly retorted.

"Look, however this turns out, you two shouldn't be mad at each other!" The rest of the Ricks said placatingly.

Without a word, Rick-30 jumped through the hole and dived into the dark void of uncertainty. Still, he didn't make it in time to save his Lynn as his Lucy saved her first.

"Lynn, what happened to your collar?" Lucy-30 asked, relieved that Lynn was okay for now.

"I dropped it!" Lynn-30 revealed as tears formed in her eyes. "Lucy, I'm so sorry that I caused this. You know that I don't think that you're a freak and…!"

"I appreciate the apology, but…save it for when we're back home." Lucy-30 said with finality as she took her own collar and latched it around her Lynn's neck, which made all versions of the young tomboy vanish in a flash of blue light.

Just as she did that, her Rick caught up with her, a concerned look in his eyes.

"Sugar Bat, where's Lynn?" Rick-30 asked desperately as he held her in his arms.

"I gave it to her because she dropped hers." Lucy-30 replied as she hung her head in acceptance. However, her Rick wouldn't allow that as he quickly gave her his collar, which made all versions of the young goth girl vanish similarly.

The rest of the Ricks had noticed that their Lynns and Lucy vanished, but he only formed a small smile and said, "So, this is how it ends, huh? Could've been worse."

"I can live with this, for however long I've got here. Be good to each other, kids. Every day with you has been the best day of my life." Rick-30 said in acceptance, unaware that a few tears had fallen from his eyes. Suddenly, his eyes widened when he saw his Lynn's collar a few feet away from where he was falling.

"Holy crap, it's the other collar!" Rick-30 yelled in shock as he desperately swam towards it in fear. "I'm not ready to die like this! I want to spend some more time with the kids!" Rick-30 soon got his hands on the collar and hastily fixed the latch with the screwdriver. When he latched it closed around his neck, the light went green, but with enough of a delay for him to say, "Not today, God!"

"So, this is how my world ends." The rest of the Ricks said nonchalantly mere moments before they vanished a flash of blue light.

When Rick reappeared, he was in his lab, surrounded by his grandchildren, which made him form a jubilant smile as he embraced them all.

"Yes, we're all alive! One dot, my grandkids!" Rick proclaimed as he and the rest of them stared at the singular green dot on his computer-like device.

However, in the throes of their celebration, Lori managed to vocalize the strangeness of Rick, Lynn, and Lucy's delayed arrival.

"Hang on, what happened in that void? You three literally took a lot longer to come back than we did." Lori stated, which interrupted the celebration.

"Hey, yeah. Where were you guys?" Lincoln asked in confusion.

"I'm not entirely sure." Lynn bluntly stated.

"We've got sixty-three other memories of the same event, so it's hard to keep track." Lucy added similarly.

"Fascinating. I could use my own to conduct several experiments!" Lisa said cheerfully.

"There'll be time for that later. Right now, I'm just glad we're all alive." Rick said sincerely as Rita and Dante entered the lab with a smile on their faces.

"Kids!" Rita and Dante said happily.

"Mom and dad!" The Loud siblings yelled in joy as they shared a much-needed embrace with their parents, with Rick smiling the whole time.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor (Lynn and Lucy's Room) 9:30 PM**

It'd been a long day for the Loud siblings, so they opted to go to bed early today. Thankfully, Rick managed to prevent any questioning regarding the collars around their necks, and they'd removed them a while ago. As such, Lynn and Lucy sat silently on their beds in their pajamas, having had enough time to remember what their counterparts went through. Unsure of how to proceed, Lynn made the first move.

"So, uh…today was kind of crazy, huh?" Lynn asked nervously, knowing the conflict of the other Lynns and Lucys.

"I know it wasn't you, Lynn. Still, you hurt me and I felt that." Lucy said bitterly, which made Lynn's heart sink.

"Lucy, I had no control over what my counterparts did to yours. All that I can tell is that they were scared and frustrated. They needed someone to blame and…"

"I get it, Lynn. My counterparts said some harsh stuff too, remember?" Lucy pointed out, which made their silence comfortable as Lynn formed a small smile.

"So, are we…?" Lynn asked hesitantly, waiting for Lucy's response.

"I forgive you for what your counterparts did. However, I also remember what you said about my eyes before this started." Lucy replied with a small frown.

"Yeah, that was beyond the line, wasn't it?" Lynn said guiltily.

"It wasn't what you said; it was how you said it." Lucy clarified before she looked away and said, "You seriously don't think that I don't know that I'm a freak? Grandpa Rick had nothing to do with it and it's something that's skipped so many generations…including you, our sisters, and Lincoln."

"Lucy, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's something that makes you unique." Lynn said comfortingly.

"Tell that to every kid I had class with from Pre-K to first grade. They never let me hear the end of what I knew I was." Lucy glumly said, remembering that it was why she started hiding her eyes.

Lynn calmly approached her younger sister and sat with her on her bed. She slowly, gingerly, placed a comforting hand on her back, which the young goth girl accepted without a hint of rejection. It wasn't until Lynn motioned her hands towards the hair that covered Lucy's eyes that she reacted.

"Please, don't. You know how I…"

"Lucy, let me see your eyes." Lynn interjected as she pulled her hands away with a level of sincerity that rivaled Leni's. Lucy stared in shock for a few moments before she slowly nodded, which allowed Lynn to continue her attempt.

Lynn moved her younger sister's dark bangs and saw that her eyes were closed, but not tightly. Lucy sucked in air through her teeth and exhaled before she started to open her eyes, her heart pounding in anxiety. When her eyes were completely open, Lynn saw her wonderfully strange, heterochromic eyes; her left eye was blue, like their father's, and her right eye was green, like their mother's.

"Well?" Lucy asked with a hint of trepidation.

Lynn gawked at the rare sight of her sister's eyes before she formed a small smile and said, "I almost forgot how cute you are with those eyes."

Lucy formed a small smile as she warmly embraced her older sister, who readily reciprocated. The two remained like that for a few moments, with Lucy unaware of joyous tears silently streaming from her face.

 **AN: And now, time to recap.**

 **Lack of sub-plot's importance: yeah, I felt that I needed to showcase at least some part of this story that revolved around Rita and Dante's relationship, which was mostly to contrast their happy relationship with Beth and Jerry's dysfunctional, and now-ended, relationship.**

 _ **Rick and Morty**_ **season 3: yeah, depending on where that goes, it may influence the outcome of this story. Still, based on the trailer, it's going to be a wild ride!**

 **Name of the creature: yeah, I looked it up on the wiki; that's his real name.**

 **Lucy's eyes: yeah, I know it's up for debate until it gets revealed on the show, but it's just an interesting theory of mine.**

 **Latest** _ **Loud House**_ **episodes: I always knew that Luna was Bi! However, I'm not sure how that'll influence the future of this story, but there are a few things that are guaranteed not to happen. Basically, Silas and Paige, Lucy and Lincoln's love interests, respectively, will not make the cut, nor will any of the boys that Lola, Lana, and Lisa were crushing on. It's mostly because I love Rocky and Ronnie Anne for those two and I find it weird that anyone younger than Lucy can develop a crush like that. Also, at the time of the previous chapter, I headcanoned Luan as being a lesbian, mostly because of the adorable fanart I found of her and Maggie, which means that'll remain unchanged. I know the ship is not for everyone but it'll be something that pops up every now and again.**

 **Lucy and Lynn's role in this chapter: yeah, occasionally some roommate pairs of the Loud siblings will take some of the main roles, but I can say with certainty that the next one's going to be a classic Rick and Lincoln chapter.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with a chapter that I've been looking forward to myself.**

 **Next time—Chapter 13: Home Rickall**


	13. Home Rickall

**AN: Hello, everyone. I'm grateful for all your support in this story and now it's time for a chapter that I've been looking forward to writing, so enjoy!**

 **Now, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 13: Home Rickall

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Dining Room) 8:22 AM**

It was an average Saturday morning in the Loud house, with the kids, their parents, and their beloved maternal uncle sitting down for breakfast like they'd always done. Out of curiosity for recent events, Lincoln turned on the TV and flipped the channel to the news, though it took a few tries to get the right one due to their interdimensional cable.

" _This is Patchy Drizzle here with an urgent weather bulletin! A tornado watch has just been issued for the Royal Woods area!"_ the weatherman frantically stated on the news, which made the entire family gasp in shock, sans Lisa.

"Ugh, try to keep up, Patchy." Lisa said dismissively, having done the calculations the day before.

"Okay, the important thing is not to panic." Rita reassured.

"Yeah, your grandfather's blast shields will keep us out of harm's way." Dante added with a hint of pride.

"That's the spirit, guys. It makes me wish I had as many kids as my little sister." Rita's brother, Richard said warmly.

Richard Robinson was a middle-aged man with short blonde hair, green eyes, and fair skin. He wore a red dress shirt, blue jeans, and black shoes.

"Oh, Richie. You always did know the best things to say!" Rita gushed as she hugged her older brother.

"I know, and it's why I arranged for us and your kids to go to Paris after the tornado!" Richard exclaimed happily, which was met with cheers from the Loud family.

"Are you literally serious?!" Lori asked incredulously.

"I'm going to buy, like, ten years' worth of clothes without even trying!" Leni yelled happily.

"Dudes, do you know how much music is in Paris?!" Luna exclaimed excitedly.

"Forget that! It'll be the perfect place to work on my mime act!" Luan said anxiously.

"I wonder what kind of sports there are in Paris?!" Lynn asked jubilantly.

"You're the best uncle ever, Uncle Richard!" Lincoln praised.

"It'll be the perfect to work on my poetry." Lucy said, struggling not to smile.

"I bet the mud there's better than ours!" Lana guessed happily.

"Gross, Lana! I'm going there for the fashion!" Lola said confidently.

"The possible scientific discoveries are endless!" Lisa exclaimed jubilantly.

"Yay!" Lily squealed in encouragement.

"Yes, yes. I'm the greatest uncle ever." Richard said in faux-humbleness.

"And the best brother ever!" Rita added happily.

"Not to mention, best brother-in-law ever!" Dante praised.

"It's just a little gift for letting me stay with you all these years. The Louds and remaining Robinson in this house are going to Paris!" Richard said excitedly.

Suddenly, Rick had arrived from the kitchen, his lab coat soaked in a mysterious red liquid and with a proud expression on his face. However, while the Loud kids, Richard, and Dante greeted him warmly, Rita looked at him dismissively.

"My God, Rick! If you're joining us for breakfast, at least change into a lab coat that doesn't have ketchup over it!" Rita said in exasperation, unaware of Rick's expression faltering.

"Uh, yeah! T-T-This is ketchup. Lots and lots of ketchup!" Rick said nervously as he let out an unconvincing laugh.

"Hmm, looks like the demented surgeon has butchered another one, am I right?" Richard said jokingly, which made the entire family, sans Rick, burst into a fit of laughter.

"Wait, who are you?" Rick asked in confusion.

"Uh, my older brother, Richard? He's been living with us for over a year, now?" Rita asked rhetorically. She then formed a smug expression and asked, "Are you starting to lose your mind, old man?"

"Lay off my dad, honey. Things are bad enough with that tornado coming." Dante said placatingly.

"Ah, forget about it, Dante. That tornado will never hurt us." Richard said in reassurance, unaware of Rick's eyes suddenly widening.

"Uh, hey! Richie, baby, you want to come into the living room with me for a minute?" Rick hastily requested.

"Well, sure, Rick! I'd love to spend some time with you and catch up on all our wacky adventures!" Richard said happily as he followed Rick into the living room, much to the Loud family's confusion.

"Uh, what going…?" Lincoln trailed off, only to hear a laser blast and see Richard's body collapse onto the floor, leaking pink blood from a fatal headshot. Despite the strangeness of his blood, he and the rest of his family yelled in shock over his apparent death.

"Oh, my God!" Rita yelled, horrified as she cradled her older brother's body and Rick entered the room, holding the murder weapon.

"What did you do, dad?! What did you do?!" Dante yelled incredulously.

"Why, Grandpa?! Why?!" All the Loud kids, sans Lily who could only babble in sadness, asked their grandfather.

"Everyone, relax. There's no need to be alarmed." Rick said in reassurance as he pointed towards Richard's body and nonchalantly said, "That's not your Uncle Richard. He's an alien shapeshifting parasite."

As if on cue, Richard's body started to convulse and transform into its real form. His real form was a tall, hardly humanoid alien with a bulbous head, periwinkle skin, now-faded red eyes, and had a set of hot pink tentacles coming from his mouth.

"But I've known him my whole life." Rita said in disbelief as she distanced herself from his body.

"No, you haven't, Rita." Rick countered as he put on a set of yellow rubber gloves and began to inspect the parasite's body. "These telepathic little b-b-bastards embed themselves in memories and t-t-they use those to multiply, spread out, and take over other planets since theirs became uninhabitable. They're some of the universe's most disgusting and insidious creatures."

"S-S-So, Uncle Richard wasn't real?" Lincoln asked fearfully.

"He was a real piece of crap!" Rick harshly said, only to form a nervous expression when he saw the Loud family's distraught faces. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to disrespect the dead, but we've got other things to worry about."

"What kinds of things, grandpa?" Leni asked, reeling from her false uncle's death.

"This was a big one, Angel Smile." Rick replied as he finished with the inspection and took off his gloves. "I don't know how even _**one**_ of these things got here, but it must've happened from improper decontamination after a mission."

"Uh, in English?" Lynn asked as she scratched her head.

"You know how it's important to wash your hands when you go to the bathroom?" Rick asked his grandchildren, with them all nodding, sans Lana. "Well, if you use a space bathroom, you _**really**_ need to wash your hands so this kind of stuff doesn't happen."

"Hmm, this must've happened fairly recently." Lisa hypothesized as she hastily did calculations in one of her notebooks.

"Where do you get so many of these notebooks?" Lori asked in confusion.

"That's not important. Was Uncle Richard really fake?" Luna vocalized as she clutched her head in disbelief. "I mean, he taught me how to ride a bike."

"No, Pixie Cut. 'Richard' put that memory in you so that he could live in your house, eat your food, and multiply." Rick clarified as he pulled out his empty laser cannon and attempted to find some more ammo on his person. "We could be infested with these things and not even know it. So, we need to be on the lookout for any wacky, zany characters that haven't appeared before or had any foreshadowing whatsoever."

"Ooh, wee! Whatever you want, Rick! I'm always there to help!" a small yellow-skinned man said happily as he handed Rick a laser clip.

The small, yellow-skinned man had big eyes and a long nose. He wore a black top hat and a tight blue shirt, which gave him stretch marks around his small neck. He also wore gray shorts and burgundy shoes.

"Thanks, Mr. Poopybutthole! I could always count on you!" Rick said sincerely as he took the laser clip from their beloved family friend.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 8:37 AM**

As the weather outside began to shift to tornado-like conditions, Rick, the Louds, and Mr. Poopybutthole gathered in the living room in the search for parasites. However, Rick had taken an extra precaution and wrote down a number in pencil on a sticky note before placing it on a nearby wall.

"Okay, there's nineteen of us and that's it." Rick stated as he started to count them off. "There's me, Dante, Rita, Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lincoln, Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa, Lily, Cliff, Walt, Geo, Edwin Jr., and Mr. Poopybutthole."

"Wait, where are the pets?" Lynn asked as she looked around the room.

"Oh, I kept them in their cages as a precaution, but I know we have those four." Rick explained as his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Maybe you got the first one in time, Rick." Mr. Poopybutthole guessed optimistically.

"We can't chance it, buddy. Besides, with a tornado watch, we need protection." Rick stated as he pressed a button on his watch, which activated metal black blast shields that safely secured the house from the outside.

"Wow, I literally forgot that you installed those in the house, too." Lori said in amazement.

"Yeah, let's just say that it's not only in case we're containing an outbreak." Rick said as he inspected his weapon as a precaution.

"I'm scared!" Lana and Lola said simultaneously as they held onto each other.

"Don't be, dudes. We're not going to let anything happen to you guys." Luna said reassuringly.

"Your sister's right, girls. After all, we've been through more intense situations before." Dante said confidently.

"It's true. I mean, I'm not claustrophobic, but things of this nature happen in the Loud house." Lucy monotonously stated.

"Who could forget? I mean, I think that the last time things got this intense was when Rick met Bobby for the first time." Mr. Poopybutthole said warmly as he formed a reminiscent expression. "You, know, after Lori's 8th grade prom?"

With that, the ones that were around for that all remembered what happened on that day.

 _ **Loud House (Front Yard) 10:12 PM**_

 _Night had fallen as two thirteen-year-olds approached the Loud House; Lori and Bobby. Lori had a set of braces, a few pimples, and wore a knee-length sky blue dress with white shoes. Bobby had shorter black hair and wore his father's green suit and brown shoes._

" _I had a great night, Bobby." Lori said affectionately as they stood in front of the door to her home._

" _Me too, Lori. Uh, I know that this is a little forward, but is it okay if I kiss you?" Bobby requested sheepishly, which made Lori form a confused expression._

" _Uh, what?" Lori asked._

" _Oh, I didn't mean that it was an obligation! It's just that you're pretty and nice and…!" Bobby nervously trailed off, only for Lori to politely interrupt him._

" _Bobby, you…really see me like that?" Lori asked hopefully._

" _Well, yeah! It took five seconds for my little sister after looking at you to try and hook us up because I was too shy to ask you out!" Bobby said as he blushed profusely._

" _Bobby…stop talking." Lori stated as she slowly, gingerly approached Bobby, with the young boy following suit. Unfortunately, the wood underneath them gave out on Bobby's side and catapulted him onto Lori, accidentally ripping the sleeves of her dress in the process. After a few moments, the two teenagers managed to compose themselves, and blushed profusely when they realized their position._

 _Before either of them could say anything or remove themselves, Rick opened the door, then-bearing a small soul patch. Rick stared at the scene for a few moments before he quietly closed the door. Lori and Bobby sighed in relief, only to see the door blown off its hinges by a swift kick from Rick, who was now holding a shotgun._

" _You, bastard!" Rick furiously yelled as Bobby's eyes widened in apprehension. "Fellow Hispanic or not, you're dead!"_

" _Wait, this isn't what it looks like Mr. Sanchez!" Bobby yelled defensively, only for Rick to fire the gun in the air, which blew a sizeable hole in the awning of the house._

" _Run, Bobby, run!" Rick yelled as Bobby complied with Rick chasing after him. "When I get my hands on you, I'll cut your balls off!"_

 _Suddenly, Rick's outburst garnered the attention of the Loud siblings, Dante, the then-nine-months-pregnant Rita, and Mr. Poopybutthole alongside Lori._

" _Uh, what's going on?!" Rita asked incredulously._

" _Eh, don't worry about it, Rita. Rick will tire himself out eventually." Mr. Poopybutthole said reassuringly._

" _That's what we all love about you, Mr. PB." Luna said warmly._

" _Isn't anyone going to help Bobby?!" Lori asked incredulously._

" _Have I ever lied to any of you?" Mr. Poopybutthole asked rhetorically as he chuckled._

" _Oh, no! This is bad!" Rita yelled fearfully as her water suddenly broke, with her family gasping in shock._

" _Did mommy just pee herself?" Lola and Lana innocently asked._

" _She's, like, about to have a baby!" Leni hastily explained._

" _Now?! The van's in the shop and there's no way we'll get a taxi in time!" Dante yelled fearfully, only for Rita's Cousin Eddie to pull up in his red sports car._

 _Eddie was a young and toned, fair-skinned man with mid-length brown hair, grey eyes, and a full beard. He wore his white doctor's coat, blue scrubs, and black sneakers._

" _Don't worry, cousin. Eddie's here to save the day!" Eddie said confidently, which stopped everyone in their tracks._

" _Cousin Eddie!" the Loud family, Rick, Mr. Poopybutthole, and even Bobby yelled in amazement._

" _Now, let's get that baby out of you!" Eddie said as he approached them, with them all laughing and smiling the entire time._

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 8:30 AM**

"It's true; we do get into some crazy hijinks as a family!" Eddie admitted as the entire group chuckled from the memory.

"It's almost unbelievable that you were there to deliver me, Cousin Eddie." Lisa said warmly.

"Yeah, but I was, you little nerd!" Eddie said affectionately as he gestured outside. "You know, maybe Mr. Poopypants is right. We should get some fresh air!"

"Cousin Eddie, you heard grandpa." Lincoln stated. "Even without this alien parasite threat, there might be a tornado coming."

"Maybe so, Lincoln, but come on! Why should we be slaves to mother nature?" Eddie countered, unaware that Rick's eyes suddenly narrowed at him.

"Grandpa, what are you…?" Luan trailed off, with Rick inadvertently interrupting her as he took out his laser cannon and fired a shot at Eddie's shoulder, which bled hot pink. Eddie gasped in shock and pain as he suddenly transformed into an alien parasite, spraying his blood all over the couch as Lincoln shielded Lily and Mr. Poopybutthole from the aftermath.

"Cousin Eddie was a parasite?!" Lincoln asked incredulously, which was matched with gasps from the rest of his family.

"Nineteen, guys! Counting the four pets in the kitchen, if there's even one more, then someone's not real." Rick explained as he checked on the ammo of his laser cannon.

"Wait, how'd you even know that it was Eddie?" Dante asked in confusion.

"I didn't, son. That's why I aimed at his shoulder." Rick said nonchalantly.

"So, we can't trust _**any**_ of our memories, now?" Lynn asked fearfully.

"Just calm down, Sweet Honeybee. It's only for a little while, as long as we don't flashback to any kind of memory." Rick reassured.

"Wait, Cousin Eddie was the whole reason Lynn entered that intergalactic karate tournament and won. Did that not even happen?" Leni asked in disbelief.

"Well, of course it happened!" Luan said in reassurance.

"No, don't flashback!" Rick warned, only for them all to reminisce on what happened that day.

 _ **Quasar Kai Dojo (Unknown time)**_

 _It had been a long and grueling tournament for Lynn, having narrowly escaped death on multiple occasions. However, with the support of her family and Mr. Poopybutthole in the stands, she knew that she could take on whoever made it to the finals._

" _I've survived forty-nine different challengers! Bring it on!" Lynn goaded as her last opponent stepped out, which made her gasp in shock._

 _Her opponent was a tall and muscular minotaur-like alien with flowing jet-black hair, glowing red eyes, and shaggy and bloodied brown fur. He wore a simple red loincloth as he took a fighting stance, which made Lynn gulp in anxiety._

" _Uh…can I forfeit and get a pair of clean pants?" Lynn asked as she quivered in fear. However, before the fight could continue, the family's loyal butler, Mr. Beauregard, intervened, carrying several medical documents._

 _Mr. Beauregard was an elderly, portly man with short graying hair, fair skin, and blue eyes. He wore his usual black suit with matching shoes, a black bowtie, a white dress shirt, and a purple cummerbund._

" _Mr. Beauregard!" Lynn, the rest of her family, and Mr. Poopybutthole exclaimed excitedly._

" _This final match is a farce! This overgrown bovine has undergone ninety-seven illegal steroidal operations, as evidenced by these documents!" Mr. Beauregard declared, with one of the tournament officials reading it over as he handed the documents to him._

" _By Jove, he's right! This tournament is over. The winner is: Lynn Loud of Earth!" the tournament official declared, which made the entire crowd erupt into cheers and Lynn's opponent to sulk away in defeat._

" _You saved my life, Mr. Beauregard!" Lynn said sincerely as she embraced their butler._

" _It was nothing, Lynn. Now, I do believe that we have a trophy to get home." Mr. Beauregard said proudly as he and Lynn were handed a comedically oversized trophy as the Loud family, Rick, and Mr. Poopybutthole arrived._

" _I think we're going to need a bigger trophy case!" Luan joked, which made them burst into a fit of laughter._

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 8:33 AM**

"Perhaps I'm a bit biased, but if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't still be the family butler, now would I?" Mr. Beauregard asked smugly as he handed out several appetizers to the family, sans Rick who narrowed his eyes at him. Strangely, the parasite that took the form of Eddie had disappeared along with its blood.

"Wait a minute…" Rick trailed off as he hastily counted how many people were in this room.

"And if Mr. Beauregard wasn't our butler, it's safe to say that this family would literally be in a hell of a lot of trouble." Lori lightly joked as she grabbed the last appetizer, which made the rest of her family laugh, sans Rick, whose eyes widened in apprehension.

"No, for the love of God, don't flash…!" Rick hastily yelled, only for them all to flashback to some of their adventures.

 _ **Loud House 1**_ _ **st**_ _ **Floor (Dining Room) 10:37 AM**_

" _Oh! Oh, my God! I'm so sorry, honey!" Rita yelled apologetically as Dante rolled on the floor, clutching his face in agony as the rest of the family, and Mr. Poopybutthole looked on in fear._

" _Why?! Why did you throw your china plate at me?!" Dante asked incredulously._

" _You came in through the window! I thought that you were a burglar!" Rita hastily explained as she dialed the home phone for an ambulance._

 _However, before the situation could escalate further, Mr. Beauregard emerged from the other room and placed an ice pack on Dante's face, which calmed the man down as he smiled in relief._

" _Ice packs_ _ **are**_ _the best medicine." Mr. Beauregard said snootily as the rest of the family erupted into a fit of laughter._

" _What do you have to say to that, Kaiden?" Lincoln asked their beloved teenage friend._

 _Kaiden O'Neil was a seventeen-year-old boy with short, spiky black hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. He wore a black leather jacket, a gray undershirt, blue jeans, and black boots. Oddly, he had a bizarre watch strapped to his left wrist, which had a blue, hexagonal faceplate._

" _I take back what I said about ice packs being for sissies." Kaiden said warmly._

 _ **Loud House 2**_ _ **nd**_ _ **Floor (Lori and Leni's Room) 9:23 PM**_

 _Rick, Lori, Leni, and Mr. Beauregard were engaging in a pillow fight to blow off steam for the two girls now that finals were over. However, they'd become so raucous that they didn't realize how severe it was until Sleepy Rhonda burst in through the door._

 _Sleepy Rhonda was a well-endowed, thirty-something woman with fair skin, long blonde hair, and green eyes. She wore a set of pink pajamas with a white nightcap and pink slippers._

" _Hey, we're trying to sleep!" Sleepy Rhonda declared, which made them awkwardly stop their pillow fight._

 _ **Loud House 1**_ _ **st**_ _ **Floor (Living Room) 8:46 PM**_

" _I can't believe the dance got cancelled because the school doesn't have a chaperone!" Lincoln, now dressed in a powder-blue suit, lamented to his father, Rita, and Sleepy Rhonda._

" _Then perhaps, the show should go on." Mr. Beauregard stated as he appeared before them, more than ready to be Lincoln's chaperone, which warmed their hearts._

" _Oh, Mr. Beauregard…" Dante gushed as Lincoln approached their butler._

" _Shall we, Master Lincoln?" Mr. Beauregard asked as he extended his hand towards the young boy._

" _We shall, my friend." Lincoln replied sincerely as he took his hand._

" _Oh, don't go before Photography Raptor takes a picture!" Dante yelled cheerfully as the dinosaur appeared in the living room, holding an old-style camera as the group and Kaiden posed for the picture._

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 8:47 AM**

After that string of flashbacks, with all except Rick laughing from the memories, Rick narrowed his eyes at what he best guessed were the parasites, all of whom inexplicably appeared in the room, just as Eddie and Mr. Beauregard had done.

"Everyone needs to stop remembering!" Rick hastily yelled as he pointed towards the number he'd written down before. "These parasites are like bedbugs and every flashback, real or not, is another mattress! This number means that there are supposed to be nineteen people, including four animals, in this house!"

"But there's always been twenty-three, dad." Dante said obliviously.

"No, son! The fact that I wrote _**this**_ number down means that there's four parasites in this house now!" Rick countered, only for Mr. Beauregard to clear his throat.

"Apologies, Master Rick, but there is some deal of confusion surrounding that number, remember?" Mr. Beauregard questioned, which made them all reflect on Rick's words.

 _ **Loud House 1**_ _ **st**_ _ **Floor (Living Room) 8:37 AM**_

" _Okay, there should be nineteen inhabitants! There's me, Dante, Rita, their eleven kids, the four pets, Mr. Poopybutthole, Mr. Beauregard, Kaiden, Sleepy Rhonda, and Photography Raptor!" Rick called out._

" _Uh, that's like…twenty-three people, grandpa." Luna said bluntly._

" _Nineteen, twenty-three, what's the difference, Pixie Cut?!" Rick asked rhetorically. "I just love the number nineteen for no reason!" He then patted himself down for a pencil before he asked, "Hey, what happened to my pencil?"_

" _Hey, Rick! Use me!" an anthropomorphic pencil declared as he jumped into Rick's right hand._

" _Oh, thanks, Pencilvester!" Rick said cheerfully as he used Pencilvester to write down the number on the sticky note._

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 8:48 AM**

"Y-Y-Yeah, I guess that is what happened." Rick conceded, unaware that Pencilvester had arrived inexplicably in their living room. "The only thing I can't understand is w-w-why I would do that."

"Everyone makes mistakes, Rick! Why do you think I have one of these?" Pencilvester said chipperly as he gestured to his eraser head, which made them all, sans Rick, warmly laugh.

"Wait, the parasites can't manipulate actual photos! That's our smoking gun!" Dante hypothesized as he took out his smartphone and only found pictures of himself, Rita, the kids, the pets, and Rick. He then turned towards Mr. Poopybutthole and said, "You're not in any of my photos, Mr. Poopybutthole."

"Well, what do you know? You're not in any of mine." Mr. Poopybutthole said suspiciously as he finished scrolling through his pictures, with him and Dante now narrowing their eyes at each other.

"Okay, this is getting way too serious." Rita said placatingly as she walked over to Dante and placed her hands on his shoulders. "I know who the Louds are; I've known Dante since I met him at my crossing guard job…and his wife, Sleepy Rhonda, is my life-long best friend."

"Thanks, Rita." Sleepy Rhonda said sincerely, only to form a doubting expression. "Beyond that, no offense to any of you, but all bets are off."

"Look, after what happened the last time I was uncertain about something, I'm not willing to endanger my whoever my real family is." Rick admitted as he took out his laser cannon. "I'm just going to start aiming for shoulders, staring with the one with braces."

With that, Rick aimed and fired his laser canon at Luan, who barely managed to duck in time and formed an angered expression towards Rick.

"What the hell, Grandpa Rick?!" Luan asked incredulously.

"Hold still, 'Luan'." Rick said doubtfully as he aimed his laser cannon at her again, only for Sleepy Rhonda to step in front of the two.

"Rick, that is one of my daughters!" Sleepy Rhonda said tersely.

"Oh, yeah? Well, what if you only _**think**_ that, Sleepy Rhonda?!" Rick asked suspiciously, unsure of what was real anymore as he aimed the laser cannon at her. "I've known you for like, twenty years since Dante brought you home! Don't make me deprive any of my possible grandchildren a mother!"

"Rick, think about this; these are our family and friends." Sleepy Rhonda pointed out as she formed a sympathetic expression. "These are the same people we barbeque with. Have you forgotten that?"

"Wait, why would you want me to…?" Rick trailed off, only for his eyes to widen as he aimed for an instant-kill shot. "You're one of them, aren't you?!"

Before he could further press the issue, two shapely alien bikini-clad girls inexplicably appeared and surrounded Rick, each with a sultry gaze. The first one had dark orange skin, blue eyes, and mid-length black hair. The second one had dark purple skin, green eyes, and shoulder-length silver hair.

"You love those barbecues, Rick. You love them." the dark orange-skinned one said seductively behind Rick as she rubbed his chest.

"Don't you remember, Mr. Sanchez?" the dark purple-skinned one asked sultrily as she rubbed her voluptuous body on Rick's left side.

"Shut up, Orange Bikini Girl and Purple Bikini Girl!" Rick demanded, unfazed by their attempt, aside from enough arousal that he discretely tilted his pelvis away.

Suddenly, the rest of the inhabitants of the house began to chant in unison for Rick to remember the barbeque. Despite the elderly scientist's earlier will, hearing so many people, real or not, to remember a specific event made him clench his head in pain. Eventually, even he couldn't resist remembering the event.

 _ **Loud House (Backyard) 3:45 PM**_

 _It had been one of the greatest moments of Rick's life as he casually served hamburgers to his several beloved family members and friends. He wore a white chef's apron with a matching hat as he expertly cooked the meat on his usual barbeque grill._

" _You know, Pencilvester, it took me a long time to realize it, but I love barbecuing!" Rick said happily to his beloved sentient pencil friend._

" _You're very good at it, Rick." Pencilvester said sincerely as he held out an empty hamburger bun on a plate for another burger._

" _Check it out! I'm like that celebrity from that eighties movie where he makes drinks!" Rick said proudly as he effortlessly flipped a burger onto Pencilvester's plate, which he immediately bit into._

" _Hey, everyone! Let's hear it for the Grill-Master, Rick!" Pencilvester declared as he started to chant Rick's name, and was quickly followed by the rest of the crowd._

 _As Rick soaked in their praise, he suddenly narrowed his eyes before he closed them and clutched his head in pain._

" _No, no! This isn't real!" Rick loudly yelled as he shook his head side-to-side._

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 8:50 AM**

When Rick found himself back in reality, he looked around the room and saw that the living room was now filled up entirely with the barbeque guests, a fact that made Rick yell, "N-o-o-o-o-o-o!" as he aimed his laser cannon at the group.

"Rick, calm down. Let's just lower the blast shields and find a doctor." Sleepy Rhonda said placatingly as she laid a comforting hand on Rick's shoulder, which the old man refused.

"I can't do that, Sleepy Rhonda!" Rick yelled fearfully as he then pinched the ridge of his nose in uncertainty. "Everyone needs to listen to me; real or not! This house has been infested with fake loved ones that spread through fake memories and our planet will be destroyed if any of them leave this house!"

"With all due respect, Rick, you have overreacted to stuff in the past." Pencilvester pointed out, which made Rick contemplate on his alleged past.

 _ **Loud House 1**_ _ **st**_ _ **Floor (Living Room) 12:38 PM**_

 _Lincoln, Sleepy Rhonda, Dante, and Kaiden were sitting on the living room couch, watching TV, when Rick suddenly burst in through the front door with a frazzled expression on his face._

" _Everyone, turn to the news, now!" Rick demanded as he hastily changed the channel to the news himself._

 _{Now, would you say that Rick Sanchez is a liar?} a reporter asked an elderly man._

 _{Well, my store does have footage of him with his pants on fire.} the elderly man replied as the screen rolled the footage._

 _True to the old man's description, Rick did indeed have his pants on fire, but he neglected to mention that the rest of him was on fire as he ran in circles, begging for help._

 _{Why isn't anyone helping me?! I'm dying!} the TV Rick desperately yelled on the video._

" _That was totally taken out of context!" Rick clarified, only for him to inexplicably catch on fire once again, which made him sigh in nonchalance before he yelled at the top of lungs, "Not again!", as he ran through the house._

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 8:55 AM**

"Okay, I definitely remember the day I constantly burst into flames." Rick conceded, only to form a doubting expression. "The only thing is, I would never let that happen to me!"

"Hey, don't overreact, Rick." Pencilvester said chipperly.

"Sleepy Rhonda, can you join me upstairs for a minute?" Rita sheepishly requested, which made Sleepy Rhonda smile warmly.

"Always, Rita." Sleepy Rhonda said sincerely, only to form a caustic expression towards Rick. "Rick, keep a level head, okay? And I'll tell you something else: no one knows what happened to Kaiden's real home or about that watch."

With that, Sleepy Rhonda went upstairs with Rita as Rick and Kaiden eyed each other in suspicion.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor (Hallway) 8:57 AM**

As Rita and Sleepy Rhonda traversed upstairs, they stopped at the hallway, with Rita having an uncertain expression on her face as she looked at her life-long friend.

"Sleepy Rhonda, I know that this is going to sound crazy, but I need to know. My mind is filled with memories of our friendship." Rita said as she ran her fingers through her hair fearfully before she formed a desperate smile. "I'm convinced that you're Dante's wife and I'm your friend, but if those memories can't be trusted…"

"Rita, what are you saying?" Sleepy Rhonda asked in concern.

"Sleepy Rhonda…" Rita trailed off as she formed tears in her eyes and could barely choke out, "What if I'm not real?"

"Don't say stuff like that, Rita." Sleepy Rhonda said supportively as she warmly embraced her. She ended the embrace, looked Rita in the eye and said, "Look at me, Rita Robinson. I don't know how this is going to end, but you need to know that you're real, Rita. Especially to me. Remember our ski trip to the Royal Woods Mountain Resort?"

With that, Rita formed a sincere smile as she remembered that magical weekend.

 _ **Royal Woods Mountain Resort (Lobby) 4:23 PM**_

 _It'd had been a splendid time for the two as Sleepy Rhonda and Rita sat by the fireplace, each with a joyful smile on their faces and clad in their snowsuits._

" _You know, it's nice to have some girl time, for once. No husband, no kids. It's the best time to be alive." Sleepy Rhonda said sincerely as a waiter handed each of them a mug of cocoa._

" _Please, I'd love to find a man I loved enough to give birth to eleven of his kids." Rita said dismissively as the duo indulged in their drinks._

" _It wasn't easy, Rita. I actually envy your life." Sleepy Rhonda admitted as she playfully stuck her tongue out at her._

" _Quit it, Rhonda!" Rita said good-naturedly as she accidentally put her hand on top of Sleepy Rhonda's hand, which made them pause for a few moments. They gazed at each other in disbelief before Sleepy Rhonda broke the silence._

" _Maybe we should do this more often." Sleepy Rhonda said, entranced._

" _I think I'd like that." Rita replied similarly, only for the two to engage in a passionate kiss. After a few moments, they stopped momentarily for Sleepy Rhonda to lustfully say, "Let's warm up in my room."_

 _With that, the two women ran towards Sleepy Rhonda's room and didn't come out until the next day._

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor (Hallway) 12:47 PM**

Rita was pulled out of her memory when Sleepy Rhonda gently shook her. She then gazed at Rita lovingly and confidently said, "I don't care what happens out there; you and I are going to survive this."

"Okay." Rita said breathlessly as Sleepy Rhonda leaned in for another kiss, only for Rita to turn her down as she distanced herself from her. "You have a husband and eleven kids. That's why we agreed to never do that in the house."

With that, Rita further distanced herself from Sleepy Rhonda as she traveled downstairs, unaware of the latter's crestfallen expression, who followed a few moments later.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 12:50 PM**

Rick had continued his singular standoff against the group, with only the Loud kids eyeing him in concern. Still, it did nothing to deter Kaiden as he decided to make his move.

"That's a pretty nice watch, Rick. Do you want to trade?" Kaiden asked as he pulled up Rick's arm sleeve to see the watch, which only aroused the old man's suspicions.

"I know what you're doing; you're trying to figure out how to lower the blasts shields." Rick said suspiciously as he distanced himself from the teenager. "Isn't it a little suspicious how almost everyone in here can't wait to leave, even though there's a tornado watch?"

"Forget about it, Rick." Kaiden said dismissively before he crossed his arms and said, "You've been paranoid since your days as an academy instructor."

As Rick thought back to that day, he suddenly shook his head and yelled, "No! Get out of my head, parasite!"

With that, Kaiden dropped his demeanor and assaulted Rick for the laser cannon, with the group encouraging him, sans the Loud kids. Despite the old man's best efforts, Kaiden quickly overpowered him and left him with a black eye. He then motioned for two of their beloved friends to restrain Rick to a chair, a giant robot and an anthropomorphic sun with glasses.

"Is anyone here even real? Am I the only real person in this house?!" Rick yelled incredulously.

"Perhaps. Then again, perhaps not." a familiar, deep voice stated as he revealed himself. The owner of the voice was a giant, anthropomorphic dark blue teddy bear with a white midsection, an eyepatch over his left black button eye, and a General's hat. He formed a serious expression and stated, "Yes, yes, you all know me. I'm General Fluffy."

"Hooray!" the rest of the crowd cheered, sans the Loud kids.

General Fluffy the cleared his throat before he laid out the facts by gesturing to the people he'd influenced. "I went to college with the bikini girls. I saved Ghost in a Jar's life during the Near-Apocalypse of '07. And Dante, how many times have I given your daughters a shoulder to cry on?"

"Aw, too many." Dante said fondly as Sleepy Rhonda laid a comforting hand on him.

"So maybe, we're _**all**_ parasites!" General Fluffy said sardonically, much to the group's disbelief. He then motioned one of his paws in rebuttal as he said, "Or maybe, there's only _**one**_ fraud among us. A person who keeps on telling us that the only way to salvation is by mistrusting each other on what we know are real memories."

"Hey, not cool, General Fluffy!" Rick stated defiantly as he looked around the room. "I only tried to kill Luan because I'm the least sure she's my granddaughter! The others and Lincoln were a close second!"

"I know we all have fond memories of Rick…" General Fluffy trailed off before he erupted into an intermittent fit of dubious laughter as he stated, "But are we really supposed to believe that a mad scientist inventor with a flying car just happened to show up on Dante's doorstep seventeen years ago after abandoning him as a child?"

"Hey, that's not really fair." Leni stated defensively. "His wife didn't want him around dad, so he kicked him out."

"Is that the truth Leni, or is it another false memory?" General Fluffy questioned, which made the teenaged girl sulk in uncertainty.

"Come to think of it, Grandpa Rick doesn't really mention grandma at all." Lincoln mentioned, which made the group murmur in agreement as Dante narrowed his eyes at the old man.

"Don't forget about his vague backstory!" Dante harshly stated as he walked towards Rick and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Dante, I'm your father!" Rick yelled desperately.

"Oh, are you dad? Are you?!" Dante asked in disbelief, only for Lincoln to intervene.

"Grandpa, if you want to prove that you're real, just open the blast shields and let us out of here!" Lincoln pleaded as he stared at Rick.

"Why don't you make me, possibly fake prepubescent boy named after the likeliest gay president?!" Rick harshly retorted, which made Lincoln's eyes narrow in anger as his sisters looked in disbelief.

"Lincoln…" the rest of his sisters trailed off in concern, except for Lily who equivalently cooed.

"Give me the gun." Lincoln said huskily as Kaiden obliged. Lincoln aimed the gun at Rick and then gazed towards his younger sisters before he stated, "I'm not doing what I need to do in front of my younger sisters. Pancake Man and Monkey in a Tuxedo, bring him to the garage."

With that, the entire crowd erupted in cheers as Pancake Man and Monkey in a Tuxedo escorted Rick to the garage, sans the remaining Loud siblings. Before any of them could vocalize their concerns with what their brother was about to do, Lincoln discretely winked at them, which made them nod in understanding.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Garage) 1:03 PM**

As Rick was restrained by Pancake Man and Monkey in a Tuxedo in the middle of the garage, Lincoln stared down the barrel of the laser cannon, aimed at the elderly man.

"Listen to me; I'm not the most violent guy, but you came into my house and put all these crazy memories in our heads. I've figured out your secret and now, it's time to pay!" Lincoln declared as he began to charge up the gun.

"Linc, I don't know if you're real, or I'm real, but I need you to know that whatever I felt with you and the rest of your family was the best time of my life." Rick said sincerely as he formed a small smile. "Real or not, you're the best grandson a guy like me can hope for." He then formed a morose expression and stated, "I just kind of wished that I could've stuck around to at least be Great-Grandpa Rick."

With that, the gun finished charging as Rick prepared for his fate, only for Lincoln to aim the laser cannon at Monkey in a Tuxedo's head, which killed him instantly and revealed his true parasitic form.

"Whoa, Monkey in a Tuxedo was a parasite?" Pancake Man asked incredulously as he broke into a nervous sweat. Less than a second later, Lincoln shot through Pancake Man's head, which killed him instantly and revealed his true parasitic form.

"Grandpa, like I said, I figured it out!" Lincoln declared happily as he warmly embraced his grandfather. "These parasites can only form good memories with some wacky hijinks, at best! It's just like when Ace Savvy fought off against The Psychic Mistress in _Eternal Memoirs of Ace_!"

"That's how you knew I was real!" Rick yelled in acknowledgement as he ended his embrace with Lincoln. "You have a bunch of bad memories with me from our adventures!"

"Exactly, grandpa! So, what's the plan?" Lincoln asked as Rick stroked his chin in thought. After a few moments, the elderly scientist snapped his fingers and activated a button on the garage's workbench, which opened a panel of weapons on the far side of the wall.

"Well, it's no time to get squeamish, Linc. We've got a lot of fake friends and family to exterminate." Rick said happily as he laid a comforting hand on his grandson's shoulder.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 1:10 PM**

After a few moments, Rick and Lincoln burst through the garage as shot a few of what they knew were parasites on their way to living room. The suddenness of their demises, made the remaining group huddle in fear as the duo appeared, each having a weapons bandolier and a laser weapon in their hands.

"Okay, everyone, just calm down…and ignore that when Grandpa Rick blurts out the truth in astonishment." Lincoln said nonchalantly as Rick did exactly that.

"Bottom line: we need to kill everyone we can _**only**_ remember fondly!" Rick declared as he pointed a laser rifle at a crotchety old man with a cane and asked, "Who has a bad memory of Some Old Guy?"

"What? What was that, Sonny?" Some Old Guy innocently asked, only for Rick, the Loud siblings, and Dante to narrow their eyes at him.

"You've been the perfect houseguest for months." Dante vocalized suspiciously, which made Some Old Guy break into a nervous sweat as he abandoned his cane and straightened his back.

"The jig is up, guys! They're out of tapioca pudding and prescription pills!" Some Old Guy yelled fearfully as he tried to get away, only for Lincoln to kill him in cold blood, which revealed his true form as a parasite.

"Everybody back! If you're not a parasite, you have nothing to fear!" Rick reassured, only to form a harsh glare at Luan as he aimed his laser rifle at her. "What about Luan?"

"Seriously, what makes you think I'm a parasite?!" Luan asked incredulously, with Lincoln searching his mind and found enough bad memories to vindicate her and his siblings.

"She and the rest of my family are real, grandpa." Lincoln said stoically as he and Rick handed each of them a gun, sans Lily who was too young to use one and Rita who'd left the room with Sleepy Rhonda when they heard the first gun shots.

"Thanks, Lincoln." the remaining Loud siblings and Dante said affectionately as they primed their weapons, which made the rest of the group's eyes widen in shock.

"Game on, parasites." Rick whispered threateningly as his group began their one-sided assault against the aliens.

In a flurry of violence and mayhem, pink blood splattered the walls of the Loud house as the Loud siblings, Rick, and Dante ran throughout the house, slowly, but surely, killing all the parasites they found. While the passive Loud siblings would've gone against the assault, the fact remained that they'd invaded their home and almost made them kill each other; that was enough of a reason to fight back.

However, as Rick cornered Pencilvester in the dining room, he initially couldn't bring himself to kill him as he desperately searched through his memories of him for a single bad one.

"Come on, Pencilvester? You don't have anything for me?" Rick asked in desperation.

"Rick, it's me! Think about all that we've gone through together! You can't kill me!" Pencilvester yelled hastily.

"Sorry…but I do." Rick stated as he formed tears in his eyes and pulled the trigger, which revealed Pencilvester's true parasitic form.

As the assault continued, Kaiden found himself cornered by Lisa in the downstairs bathroom. Before Lisa could pull the trigger, she asked, "What's your name, again?"

"Kaiden O'Neil." Kaiden said nervously as Lisa shrugged in apathy.

"Eh, never heard of you." Lisa said dismissively as she fired multiple rounds into his chest, which revealed his true parasitic form.

Eventually, the downstairs parasites dwindled to the cowering Mr. Beauregard and the stationary Ghost in a Jar on the couch. Mr. Beauregard attempted to escape, only for Rick to stand in front of him with a smug grin on his face.

"Master Rick!" Mr. Beauregard yelled fearfully before he formed a bargaining grin and asked, "Remember when you weren't going to shoot…?"

With that, Rick killed him mid-sentence, which revealed his parasitic form as Rick's grin widened. "I guess _**I**_ did the butler!" Rick joked, with Luan laughing in the next room.

"Good one, grandpa!" Luan cheered, which made Rick warmly smile.

"Thanks, and I'm glad you're real, Cutie Clown!" Rick yelled fondly, only for Ghost in a Jar to interrupt their moment.

"Oh, I get it! It's a play on "The Butler Did It"." Ghost in a Jar said nasally as Rick approached him with a neutral expression.

"Thanks, Ghost in a Jar. You always were the best at pointing out obscure comedy, but you've been dethroned." Rick said nonchalantly as he unscrewed the lid, tossed Ghost in a Jar onto the floor, and shot him, which turned his jar into his parasitic legs as the rest of his turned into his upper body.

"I need to hide you, Sleepy Rhonda!" Rita yelled desperately as Lucy and Lynn took out some of the remaining upstairs parasites.

"I appreciate the concern, but all we need to do is…!" Sleepy Rhonda yelled desperately, only to be cut off when Dante slit her throat with a laser knife, which turned her into her true parasitic form. Rita only watched with a saddened expression as Sleepy Rhonda died in front of her.

"No." Rita whispered in disbelief, only to see the loving hand of Dante extend towards her, which made her remember the truth. The two lovingly said each other's names before they passionately kissed, grateful that their nightmare was over.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Dining Room) 8:47 PM**

After enough time had passed for the parasites' influence over their minds to fade and the tornado passed through Royal Woods with thankfully little collateral damage, Rick and the Louds sat down for dinner as Rick lowered the blast shields. Unfortunately, the parasite's bodies nor blood had faded like Eddie's, so they were in for major cleanup after dinner.

"Okay, as crazy as things got, I hope that it'll serve as a precaution to properly decontaminate after space missions." Rick admitted as Rita served pork chops and mashed potatoes. "That goes for everyone and I'm glad that we're all alive…even you, Rita."

"Oh. Thanks, Rick." Rita said in surprise.

"Almost killing family gives you a new perspective." Rick stated as he then coughed uncomfortably and asked the Loud siblings, "Are w-w-we good?"

"Yeah, we are." the Loud siblings answered simultaneously, sans Lily who merely babbled in agreement, which made Rick smile warmly.

"Ooh, wee! They're not the only ones!" Mr. Poopybutthole said happily as he took his usual seat at the table. "Now that the craziness is over, will someone hand this little Poopypants a pork chop?"

Rick happily obliged as he and the rest of the family ate dinner, only for Dante to narrow his eyes at Mr. Poopybutthole, much to the latter's confusion.

"Dante, what's wrong, buddy?" Mr. Poopybutthole asked in confusion.

Dante continued staring at him for a few moments before he formed a small smile and said, "Nah."

With that, the Rick, the Louds, and Mr. Poopybutthole continued to enjoy their dinner, immensely relieved that their nightmare was over.

 **AN: And now, time to recap.**

 **Mr. Poopybutthole's fate: yeah, I ultimately changed that because I thought that it was a bit cruel for him to get shot like that by Beth, especially since he didn't appear again until the season 2 finale, which to some of you, is unfortunate because I can't really think of a good way for him to appear more often. I'm still not sure on the theory that the Rick and Morty we followed wasn't the original one, but at least in this timeline, the unfortunately named man survived unscathed.**

 **New parasites: yeah, I wanted to do some of my own ideas for wacky characters and bonus points to any readers from the old days who can recognize where Kaiden came from as well as the self-deprecating words Lisa gave him.**

 **Lack of reaction to Sleepy Rhonda's death: yeah, it was mostly because I factored how dysfunctional Beth and Jerry's relationship is compared to how relatively stable and loving Dante and Rita's is.**

 **Flashback to Bobby and Lori's relationship: yeah, I know that they started dating relatively close to the start of the series, but I wanted to expand on why Rick dislikes him. Also, I thought it'd be sweeter for them to have started so young after I saw that picture of a younger Lori in** _ **Come Sale Away**_ **, which is one of the very few good things I saw in that episode, including Flip's comeuppance.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can. But be prepared because it's finally time to…**

 **Next time—Chapter 14: Get Schwifty**


	14. Get Schwifty

**AN: Hello again, everyone! I'm truly grateful for all the support you've given for this story, especially since we're nearing 200 reviews and recently reached 100 favorites! I love writing for this story and I hope that you'll enjoy this latest chapter, even though the only thing I dislike about it is parts of the song its named after. Also, this'll probably be the last chapter for a while since I want to work on the next one for my other story and school is starting relatively soon. If I do one before then, awesome.**

 **Next, I would like to address why I didn't show the good and bad memories towards the end of the last chapter. Basically, it was for two reasons: 1) With the parasitic influence, flashing back to the good memories, real or not, it would've created more parasites. In the case of why Dante didn't shoot Mr. Poopybutthole, it's because he saw only good memories of him, but he trusted him enough not to question on whether he was real or not. 2) Due to the number of Lincoln's injuries in the show, I thought it would be distasteful to show or create bad memories with his sisters, especially since** _ **No Such Luck**_ **, which I'm not doing. However, it will serve as an example in a likely future chapter involving some aspect of bad dimensions.**

 **Now, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 14: Get Schwifty

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 9:23 AM**

It was an average Sunday morning in the Loud house, but with a noticeable difference. Lincoln had gathered his sisters in the living room with an easel next to the fireplace, which depicted a poster of the Royal Woods Family Fun Fair, an event that they'd avoided for too long. It wasn't that they didn't want to attend, but the key aspect of the event involved families putting together an act for the audience…something that was always hard to do with a family like theirs. However, this time Lincoln was determined for them to finally come together with something, especially since Rick expressed interest in attending.

"Guys, we have to think of something!" Lincoln declared as he used a laser pointer to emphasize what they were working on. "The Family Fun Fair is tonight and for once, we should have something for the talent show!"

"Ooh, how about a family trapeze act?" Lynn suggested eagerly.

"Just because you've fractured every bone from your maxilla to your metatarsals doesn't mean we want to, even though Grandpa Rick's nanobots give us a healing factor." Lisa said dismissively.

"How about a family beauty pageant?" Lola chimed in, only to form a disinterested expression. "Never mind. That would take too long."

"I say we ask grandpa to bring some cool alien monsters to wrestle!" Lana confidently stated as she flexed her non-existent muscles in anticipation.

"Okay, that's practically suicide." Lincoln deadpanned before he pointed towards the poster and said, "We need something we can all do."

"So, let's do my idea!" Lynn suggested cheerfully.

"Why shouldn't we do a family comedy show?" Luan asked, trying to get her idea back on the table.

"Or a family fashion show?" Leni asked similarly.

"Both of those have the same problem. We need something that plays to _**all**_ our strengths." Lori stated bluntly.

Before the situation could escalate, Luna played a chord on her electric guitar and declared, "Dudes, let's have a family band!"

"But, except for you, Lola, and Lincoln, literally none of us have any musical talent." Lori pointed out.

"It's true. I couldn't carry a tune if it had a handle!" Luan admitted with a playful smile, which made her siblings groan slightly.

"It doesn't matter if you can play; it just matters that you're having fun. Mick Swagger said that on his first farewell tour…and now he's planning his third!" Luna said cheerfully, which made her siblings smile hopefully.

"Well, it is tempting. Lincoln and I have been working on something, but it's unfinished." Lucy stated as she held out the sheet music.

"Then, we'll play it anyway!" Luna said encouragingly, which made Lucy and Lincoln form small smiles. "After all, it's not like the fate of the world depends on us playing an awesome song."

Suddenly, the house began to shake with the Loud kids forming disturbed expressions as they tried to keep their balance.

"Whoa, what's going on?!" Lincoln asked fearfully.

"Are we having an earthquake?!" Lynn guessed in trepidation as her siblings fell from the vibrations.

"Royal Woods hasn't had an earthquake in over fifty years! I think something else is causing this!" Lisa yelled as she attempted to do calculations in her notebook.

Thankfully, the vibrations ceased after a few moments, which made the Loud siblings sigh in relief. However, it was short-lived as Rick suddenly burst in through the front door and quickly made his way towards his grandchildren with a fearful expression.

"Kids, we need to turn on the TV and get to the news!" Rick declared as Lola obliged, having had the remote in her possession. After a few tries, due to the interdimensional aspect of their TV, Lola soon found their reality's newscast, though she and her siblings couldn't believe what was on the screen.

" _Your guess is as good as mine, Jim! As unbelievable as it seems, a giant yellow head has arrived to Earth; it's very presence causing numerous natural disasters throughout the planet!"_ the TV reporter fearfully declared, with the Loud siblings gasping in shock over the footage, specifically the tagline, "Armag-Head-don?!".

True to the reporter's description, there was indeed a giant head in the sky of the city he was broadcasting from. However, it seemed to be the size of a small planet, which unnerved the Loud siblings to no end.

" _We all hope you'll be okay, Terry, but what does this giant head want?"_ Jim asked from the safety of the news studio.

As if responding to Jim, the giant head cleared his throat, which literally rocked the city to its core. However, it would pale in comparison when the head declared, "Show me what you got!", which almost destroyed the city and manipulated the tides.

" _You heard the…he said…show me…what you got."_ Terry reported through static, bravely standing his ground against the head. _"If I don't make it, tell my wife and kids that I love…!"_

Shockingly, the head repeated his message with some extra words, "Show me what you got! I want to see what you got!", which inadvertently caused more destruction throughout the city, including a helicopter that crashed and exploded in front of Terry, cutting off the feed instantly.

"I always knew that this day would come." Rick said seriously as his grandchildren could only stare in shock from the reporter's apparent death. He got up from his seat and motioned Luna and Lincoln to follow him. "Come on, kids. We need to take care of this."

"Where are we going, grandpa?" Lincoln asked monotonously, unable to muster any other tone.

"This is heavy, dudes. Shouldn't we bring the others?" Luna suggested.

"There's no time. Besides, I think that I'll need you two the most to help me on this one and we'll be back for them later." Rick replied as he put on a set of sunglasses.

"Whoa, what's with the shades, grandpa?" Luna asked in confusion.

"Isn't it obvious, Pixie Cut?" Rick asked as he struck a serious pose. "We're going to the Pentagon." Rick then formed a sheepish expression and clarified, "I mean, not _**the**_ Pentagon; the lame one, by comparison, on Earth."

Before they could leave, Lori managed to find her voice and fearfully ask their grandfather, "Grandpa, is this the end?"

"It isn't, Honey Bunny. No matter what happens, know that this isn't God and that we'll take care of this." Rick said reassuringly before he gently kissed Lori's forehead and did the same with the rest of his grandchildren. After finishing, he took out his portal gun and created a portal on a nearby wall, which he, Lincoln, and Luna walked into.

 **Pentagon (War Room) 6:25 AM**

After the giant head's declaration, America's finest were scrambled in the Pentagon, trying to decipher the creature's demands. Sadly, they couldn't come up with much of a consensus and spent precious time arguing amongst themselves before they immediately stopped when the President arrived with his bodyguards.

The President was a toned, fair skinned man in his early forties with short black hair, brown eyes, and a thick moustache. He wore a black suit with a dark purple dress shirt, a matching tie, brown boots, and a white cowboy hat. This was President Reynolds.

"People, people, just calm down and sit a spell." President Reynolds said calmly before he pointed towards one of his trusted scientists. "Dom, what do we have here?"

Dom was a fair skinned, portly man with balding black hair and brown eyes. He wore a clean white suit with a matching tie and black shoes.

"Well sir, SETI, NORAD, and pretty much every broadcaster on the planet is attempting to fulfil this creature's request." Dom answered as he started to list off what they shared with the head, "String theory, world history, the human genome, but nothing's working!"

Suddenly, the general slammed his fist onto the table, which got everyone's attention. The general was a muscular, fair skinned man in his early sixties with short, graying hair and blue eyes. He wore a black suit that was decorated to distinguish his ranking and a white dress shirt with a black tie. This was General Nathan.

"Have you tried sending it launch codes?" General Nathan asked in frustration as he turned to President Reynolds. "Mr. President, I say we show this head what we've got by sending seventy-thousand tons of nukes right up its likely non-existent keister!"

Just as the Cabinet started to form another argument, Rick's portal opened in the middle of the room, with Rick, Luna, and Lincoln emerging from it a few moments before it closed. Given the security of their location, several armed guards surrounded the trio in a matter of seconds. Rick merely groaned in exasperation while Lincoln and Luna silently held hands as Rick pulled out a handheld paintball gun.

"Everyone, back off! This ammo causes instant nausea and diarrhea on contact!" Rick declared as he stood his ground against the guards. The guards briefly stopped as they turned towards General Nathan for their orders. When he nodded, they were ready to take them out, only for Rick to fire first.

Upon contact, the guards instantly threw up and started nosily voiding their bowels, much to everyone's disgust, sans Rick who stared at the remaining guards in defiance. The remaining guards quickly threw down their weapons out of fear, with President Reynolds supporting this choice.

"Okay, everyone needs to stand down!" President Reynolds ordered as he turned towards Rick. "The people of this country elected me to make their decisions and I'm unarmed. There's no need to make anyone else sick and crap their pants."

Before Rick could vocalize his reasons, he noticed the two guards he nailed, still suffering from the effects of the paintballs. He awkwardly cleared his throat and asked, "Uh, can you please get them to a bathroom with medicine and a change of clothes?"

General Nathan grumbled as he begrudgingly ordered, "Men, to the bathroom, and clean yourselves up!"

After they gratefully left, Rick cleared his throat and said, "My name is Rick Sanchez and these are two of my grandchildren, Lincoln and Luna Loud."

"Hello, Lincoln and Luna." the rest of the Cabinet politely said, with Lincoln and Luna waving back sheepishly as Rick sauntered over to the screen that depicted the giant head's destruction.

"I've been around the block enough times to know that this is a Cromulon from the Cygnus-5 Expanse." Rick revealed as he pointed towards the screen to emphasize what he would say next. "Nukes and math aren't going to make this thing go away. The only thing that'll send this thing packing is if the Earth shows them…a hit song."

Upon hearing Rick's answer, the Cabinet went into a confused frenzy of questions from the absurdity of the head's request. This also included Lincoln, but Luna had an elated expression on her face, eager to prove her musical talent, if needed.

"What, like Vivaldi?" Dom asked in confusion.

"Sadly, no. It needs to be a live, catchy, and original song." Rick revealed as he continued to explain. "The Cromulons feed on the showmanship of less evolved lifeforms. I-I-I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's true."

"Actually, not so much." President Reynolds said as he shrugged nonchalantly. "I've seen it all; Frankenstein's monster, moonshine rings, zombies. Although, this feels a bit too much like some obscure seventies movie."

"Well regardless, round up as many famous singers as you can and have them perform with that giant speaker system at your sonic testing facility in Area 51." Rick recommended, only for General Nathan to narrow his eyes at the elderly scientist.

"How do _**you**_ know about that?" General Nathan asked suspiciously as one of the aides dialed a phone to find as many famous singers as he could.

Before Rick could answer, President Reynolds took the reins. "Enough of the third-degree, Nathan. The man has the rare power to make people void their stomachs and bowels."

"Sir, I've got bad news." the aide fearfully stated. "All the famous singers…they're all dead."

"What?! How is that possible?!" President Reynolds asked incredulously.

"It happened at the Grammys, sir. The head's presence created an earthquake and…no one survived." the aide hesitantly explained as he clutched his head in despair, unaware that Luna's mouth gaped, knowing that likely all of her favorite musicians were dead. However, one name stood above them as she did her best to vocalize her fears.

"Wait, what a-a-about Mick…?" Luna hoarsely trailed off, only for the aide to inadvertently interrupt her.

"I've just gotten confirmation. For some unknown reason, Mick Swagger survived and is inbound on an F-15, ETA: two hours." The aide revealed, which made Luna sigh immensely in relief, knowing that Mick could easily save the day.

"Good luck, President Reynolds." Rick said sincerely as he motioned for Luna and Lincoln to follow him. However, Dom had just finished some calculations on his computer, which made him form a grim expression.

"Sir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse." Dom fearfully revealed as he looked President Reynolds in the eye. "In two hours…there may not be an Earth to save anymore."

Just as Rick opened a portal, President Reynolds yelled, "Stop!", mere moments before he, Lincoln, or Luna could enter. He then cleared his throat and asked, "Sanchez, are you a musician?"

"Not as much as these two are." Rick stated as he gestured to Lincoln and Luna.

"Get this man and his grandkids on Blackhawk to Area 51." President Reynolds ordered some of his men, knowing that these three were likely their last hope.

"Uh, that'd take too long." Rick said bluntly and then suggested, "How about we just teleport there and have any Blackhawks meet us when we emerge?"

"Excellent idea, Sanchez!" President Reynolds praised as Rick opened a new portal with himself, Lincoln, and Luna venturing forth.

 **Royal Woods Church 9:55 AM**

The world outside the church was now bathed in darkness, the only light coming from the amount of fire that threatened to consume the town. This was a recent development since the head drew closer to the Earth, with very few areas left unscathed. Given the severity of the situation, the entire Catholic population of Royal Woods was crammed into the church, including the remnants of the Loud family. The rest were huddled in their own place of worship to ride out what was likely the apocalypse.

"People, please! There's no need for alarm!" the pastor declared as he quelled down the frightened masses inside. "When God deals you a weak hand, you don't fold! You need to double down!"

"With all due respect, Father Robert, I don't think we've been dealt a fair hand here!" Dante vocalized as his remaining children huddled together in fear, with Rita doing her best to reassure them through this dark time.

"I have something to say about this!" Flip declared as he suddenly stood up and faced the crowd. "You all know me: Flip Farrow of Flip's Food & Fuel. Over the years, I've seen this town go through hard times. However, I think that it's time to face the facts; we've got to screw God over and worship the giant head in the sky!"

As the remnants of Royal Woods gasped in shock from Flips' suggestion, he merely shook his head back and forth as he turned to Father Robert and said, "Look, I get it Bob. But if God exists, why is he letting this head burn our world to the ground?" After a small period of silence, Flip formed a smug expression and left the church to pray to the Cromulon.

"Okay, now that sanity's been restored, perhaps this is the time to talk about renovations to the church. Sally, the collection plate, if you please." Father Robert calmly said as Sally obliged.

"Ooh, this is my favorite part!" Bobby said excitedly as his mother held Ronnie Anne in her arms.

 **Area 51 (Sound System) 7:02 AM**

After meeting up with the Blackhawks, Rick, Lincoln, and Luna were on their way to Area 51, with Lincoln and Luna excited, despite the looming threat of the Cromulon.

"I bet that Area 51 has a bunch of alien artifacts! I wonder if we'll see them!" Lincoln said in anticipation.

"Forget that! We're totally performing a song to save the world!" Luna said eagerly as she took out her guitar. "I'm ready to do some mad shredding!"

"In order, those artifacts suck and you're not playing your guitar, Pixie Cut." Rick stated, much to Luna's shock and Lincoln's brief disappointment.

"Wait, what?!" Luna asked incredulously.

"What I've got in store needs the two of you, but not Luna's guitar." Rick explained as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry; you're still going to get to play something, Pixie Cut."

"Guys, we're in the drop zone! Let's go!" the jump master stated as he unfurled the rope that led to Area 51's sonic testing facility. Rick nonchalantly went down the rope with Lincoln following him after a few moments. However, Luna had a look of trepidation as she approached the rope and said to the jump master, "I don't know what we're playing!"

Soon enough, Luna descended and joined her brother and grandfather on the platform. Luna was relieved to see a microphone, a giant speaker, a set of keyboards, and a soundboard, knowing that she could easily compensate for her lack of guitar. Still, she and Lincoln had an uneasy expression when they saw the giant head looking right at them from the sky.

" _Okay, Lincoln, press one of the buttons on the soundboard. Luna, play something on those keyboards."_ Rick said through the microphone, with Lincoln and Luna obliging, though the latter had a concerned expression on her face.

"Grandpa, what about the rest of our family? You said we'd be getting them back." Luna said anxiously.

" _Don't worry, Pixie Cut. This'll be over soon. Now, play some funky music for your grandpa, okay?"_ Rick requested sincerely, with Luna forming a smile as she and Lincoln started.

"Okay, here we go!" Lincoln and Luna declared as they each started playing on their respective instruments. However, Lincoln only had to press a button on the soundboard as he accompanied the song with a tambourine.

" _Oh, yeah! You gotta get schwifty. You gotta get schwifty in here. It's time to get schwifty."_ Rick started to sing to a funky beat, much to the confusion of General Nathan, who was watching the performance on the screen at the base.

"Get Schwifty? What the hell is that?" General Nathan asked in confusion as the performance continued.

"We shouldn't waste too much time analyzing it, Nathan. Right now, they're out best hope." President Reynolds stated, hoping that this bizarre song would be enough to please the head.

" _It's time to get schwifty in here, I'm Mr. Bulldops. I'm Mr. Bulldops."_ Rick sang as he crouched down as part of his dance.

"Mr. Bulldops?" General Nathan asked in further confusion.

"Just calm down, Nathan. It's working!" President Reynolds stated as Dom noticed that the world's disasters were quelling down from Rick's song.

" _Hey, get your pants off. It's schwifty time, today!"_ Rick finished as he, Lincoln, and Luna posed confidently, with the head now forming an uncertain expression.

As the trio and Earth's audience looked towards the head in anticipation, the head suddenly formed a smile and said, "I like what you got! Good job!"

With that, the head turned around and seemingly left the Earth, much to everyone's relief. Unbeknownst to them, the people of Royal Woods noticed the lack of natural disasters and guessed that Flip's prayers somehow worked.

However, the relief didn't last very long as the Earth began to shake again, but not from an earthquake. A blue light surrounded the Earth itself and after a few moments, it had disappeared and reemerged in the Cygnus Expanse, with new planets and differently-colored Cromulons surrounding them in the sky.

"What the hell just happened?" President Reynolds asked as Rick, Lincoln, and Luna arrived from a portal.

"Well, I think that the Earth's just been transported, Mr. President." Rick answered sheepishly as they looked at the monitor.

"Whoa, if weren't all in danger right now…this'd make a sweet album cover." Luna admitted in awe.

"Sir, we've started picking up on a garbled signal. We're decrypting it now." Dom said as he motioned them towards a smaller screen.

The screen depicted a series of alien symbols on a yellow background that faded when they heard an announcer-like voice. As the voice talked, it went through a series of images, depicting several different alien bands, including Rick, Lincoln, and Luna.

" _We asked them to show us what they got, and they did. Now, we'll see which of them has the most. Twenty-four hours, five planets, five songs, but in the end, there can only be one. Welcome to…_ Planet Music! _"_ the announcer voice said only to awkwardly clear his throat as he stated, _"All participation is involuntary. Disqualified and losing planets are disintegrated by plasma ray."_

"Okay…this is bad." Rick deadpanned as he took a swig from his flask.

 **Area 51 (Music Room) 9:45 AM**

It'd been a few hours since the message, with Rick having brought the rest of the Loud family to help them out with the new song. However, it was mainly dedicated to Lincoln and Lucy finishing the lyrics of their song while the rest of them, and now Mick Swagger, did their best to make a new song.

Mick was a fair-skinned, middle-aged man with long brown hair that obscured his green eyes. He wore a yellow t-shirt with a red circle symbol, a purple blazer, white pants, and black shoes.

While Luna knew that the fate of the world was at stake, having her idol so close to her made her tongue-tied and overly-anxious. As such, she could hardly play her guitar in his presence while her remaining siblings did their best with the government-provided instruments, something that made her even more anxious.

"Man, I don't know what we're going to do." Lana vocalized as she fiddled with her drums.

"I know this is bad, but we've got to keep hope alive…unlike the people back home." Leni reassured as she played on a triangle.

"Yeah, it's literally weird how they just converted to 'Headism' or whatever they're calling it." Lori added as she struggled to play on the piccolo.

"Well, at least some of them aren't taking it seriously. I'm just glad that we know what's really causing all of this danger." Lisa stated as she disassembled a keyboard to make a new instrument.

"Let's just be glad that this isn't going to get worse." Luan innocently stated, only for one of the presidential aides to walk into the room.

"Kids, adults, and Mick, we need to hurry. The heads just took out a planet that refused to play and Earth's on in six hours." The aide revealed before he unceremoniously left the room, unaware of all their eyes widening from shock.

"You had to say something, didn't you?" Lynn asked sarcastically towards Luan, who only laughed sheepishly.

"This isn't the time to start getting snippy with each other, Lynn. We need to finish the song." Rick pointed out as he set down a guitar.

"As much as I can't believe I'm saying this, he's right, honey." Rita said as she and Dante held hands. "That goes for all of you, too."

"We just need to keep a level head in this and hope that we'll have something before we run out of time." Dante said reassuringly.

"Listen to your parents and grandfather, kids. With all of us working together, we're bound to come up with something." Mick said warmly in his usual British accent, which made Luna smile brightly.

"Yeah, let's kick it into high gear and come up with something that'll save the world!" Luna said cheerfully, which was met with cheers from her family.

However, they were unaware that President Reynolds and General Nathan were watching them through a two-way mirror, both men looking at them in anticipation.

"I don't know about this, sir. Rick took the reins for the first song and it's pretty much a one-hit wonder." General Nathan said dubiously.

"What other option is there, Nathan?" President Reynolds asked as he turned towards him.

"We still have the nuclear option. Just say the word and I can have a nuke target each one of those god-damn heads in the sky." General Nathan said eagerly, which made President Reynolds' eyes widen in shock.

"Our planet's being held captive on an intergalactic game show and your idea is to nuke the audience?" President Reynolds asked in contained incredulousness before he turned towards the mirror again. "You're free to put your faith in nukes, general. However, don't blame me for putting my faith in Rick, the Louds, and Mick to come up with a song."

As they continued with very little progress, Luna glanced at the clock anxiously, knowing that time was dwindling for them to save the world. Knowing that they wouldn't succeed by playing straight for six hours, they took a break and sat down around the room, with Rick, Lincoln, Lucy, and Mick taking the sofa, each with a drink in their hands.

"So, how about this? A song about a plastic bag getting blown through the gutter of life?" Lucy suggested, only for the group to form uncertain expressions.

"Uh, good try, Sugar Bat. Maybe we should stick with what you and Lincoln are writing." Rick said as nicely as he could.

"Yeah, these are pretty high stakes." Luna added, lightly raising her voice from the situation's severity.

"Okay, I was just suggesting an alternative." Lucy admitted as she took a sip from her cola.

"Don't worry about it, sis. With us on the job, we'll have it all done in no time." Lincoln said reassuringly as he stroked Lucy's hair, which made her smile.

"What's the song even about?" Leni asked.

"Oh, it's about our family's life from Lincoln's perspective." Lynn answered, having seen the lyrics enough times in Lucy's room. "It's actually a pretty decent song."

"It's like I said on my second farewell tour; "Rock and Roll isn't about being the best, it's about having fun!" and we're definitely having fun!" Mick said cheerfully, unaware of Luna forming a confused expression.

"Wait, you said that on your first farewell tour." Luna stated, which made Mick form a sheepish expression.

"Oh…right! Yeah, it's been a blurry thirty-year music career." Mick answered with an unconvincing laugh, which only further aroused Luna's suspicions.

"Mick, you've been in this business for _**fifty**_ years." Luna said tersely, which made the room go quiet as Mick broke into a fearful sweat.

"Oh, well, you see…it's just that…" Mick said nervously, only for Luna to stand her ground.

"What was your first wife's name?" Luna asked as she glared venomously at the man.

"Mallory Dawson?" Mick sheepishly answered, only for Luna to grab the man by his collar.

"It was Christina Stanton! Who are you?!" Luna asked incredulously as Rick did his best to diffuse the situation.

"Luna, calm down. I'm sure that there's a…" Rick said reassuringly, only for Luna to grab his portal gun, much to everyone's shock.

"I don't know who you are, but you're not Mick! Tell me the truth!" Luna demanded as she aimed the portal gun at Mick, who only sighed in resignation.

"I knew that one day I'd need to reveal myself. I was just hoping to wait a few more decades before I did." Mick said regretfully, which did nothing to quell Luna's rage or the tears that were now forming in her eyes.

"Who are you?" Luna asked in a tearful rage, which was replaced by confusion as Mick's body glowed blue. When it faded, Luna and the others could only gasp in shock.

In the place of Mick was now a tall, humanoid alien with dark purple skin, glowing green eyes, and a bald head. He wore a bizarre white uniform with a golden symbol stitched into its right pectoral.

"My name is Raka, the last scholar of Roziq and the last Figura Ancep." Raka revealed in his normal voice.

"Holy, crap! I thought that you guys were all wiped out!" Rick said in disbelief, taking in the revelation the best.

"We would've been, if I hadn't been off-world when the Cromulons came to my planet." Raka stated as he ran his fingers over his bald head. "When we lost, I had no home, so I wandered the galaxy, hoping from planet-to-planet, trying to find a new purpose. Eventually, I made it to Earth."

"That doesn't explain why you took on Mick's form!" Luna harshly stated as she found her voice. "Where is he?!"

Raka formed a remorseful expression and stated, "I came to Earth on the same day as Mick's first farewell tour and I was instantly drawn by his music. When I met him after the concert, he suffered a heart attack from my appearance. He…did not survive."

Luna's heart instantly broke as she almost dropped the portal gun in shock. If what Raka was saying was true, then…Mick was dead. Her idol, for her entire life, was just an alien in disguise. Her siblings formed sympathetic expressions, knowing how important Mick was to her, but any words they had to tell her went unspoken as she found her resolve and furiously stared down Raka.

"So, you just took over his life, never letting any of his family or friends know what really happened to him?!" Luna asked incredulously, only for Raka to maintain his composure throughout the exchange.

"I had no intention of doing this on purpose, Luna. I did my best to maintain Mick's legacy, which was mostly because my species had perfect pitch." Raka clarified as he stood his ground against her. "Telling the truth would've done more harm than good, but I still embody Mick's beliefs. I've lost my old race, Luna; I won't lose this one too."

Luna merely formed a bitter expression, too hurt to listen to reason. While she had nothing but respect for Mick, the fact that Raka took his form made it unforgivable in her eyes. Unable to stand the sight of him any longer, Luna opened a random portal and ran inside, much to everyone's shock.

"Luna, no!" Rick vocalized as Raka formed a remorseful expression.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here." Raka stated before he flew out through the roof, which only worsened everyone's feelings.

"What do we do now, grandpa?" Lincoln fearfully asked as his remaining sisters formed similar expressions.

Rick stared at his frightened grandchildren, son, and daughter-in-law in uncertainty and said, "Let's just…let's just keep working."

After witnessing the entire exchange, President Reynolds formed a concerned expression and said, "Okay, this looks bad, but I just need to make sure that Rick and his family have something for the heads."

"Oh, for God's sake." General Nathan said in exasperation before he nonchalantly took out his pistol and aimed it at President Reynold's head.

"What the hell are you doing, Nathan?!" President Reynolds asked incredulously, only for the burly man to pistol-whip him as he left to execute his plan.

" _We're going with Plan B. The launch goes off one minute into Earth's performance."_ General Nathan said through his communicator.

 **Bird World (Jungles) 12:43 PM**

After traversing through several alternate dimensions, Luna was broken and battered as she unceremoniously collapsed onto the jungle-like planet, still clutching the portal gun. Thankfully, it didn't last very long as she heard an extremely familiar flapping noise. When she opened her eyes, she saw Birdperson standing proudly above her, much to her relief.

"Uncle Birdperson?" Luna asked hopefully.

"Luna, it is nice to see you again, but you appear to be dying." Birdperson stated as he carried her in his arms. "I will do my best to prevent this, but I can promise nothing."

With that, Birdeprson opened his wings and flew away towards his home, with Luna slipping into unconsciousness mere moments later.

 **Area 51 (Music Room) 2:31 PM**

With only about two hours before show time, Rick and his family were scrambled as the song was still unfinished, the portal gun and Luna were gone, and Raka abandoned them. Given how intense the situation was, Lola vocalized her frustrations first.

"Ugh, what was Luna thinking?! She totally ditched us to die when she stormed off like that!" Lola yelled furiously.

"I know! Even for her that was stupid!" Lana added similarly.

"Hey, step off! She might not be here, but she doesn't deserve to be bad-mouthed behind her back!" Luan yelled defensively.

"In case you're forgetting, Luan, if we bite it out there, your girlfriend's going to die too!" Lori harshly stated which made Luan form an angered scowl.

"Don't you think I know that?!" Luan yelled incredulously as she formed tears in her eyes.

"You're one to talk, Lori! What about Bobby and Ronnie Anne?" Leni pointed out, which made her form a remorseful expression as she looked towards their concerned brother.

"Oh. Oh, yeah." Lori said softly.

"We've got to finish this song for them, guys!" Lincoln yelled placatingly.

"Lincoln's right, kids. We need to stand together for this." Dante said in agreement.

"Just know that no matter what happens, we do this as a family." Rick said as he formed a hopeful smile.

With that, the remaining members of the Loud family nodded and continued their work to finish the new song, but silently hoping that Luna would come back to them before it was too late.

 **Bird World (Birdperson's Home) 1:03 PM**

After tending to Luna's injuries, with great success, Birdperson served her a bowl of oatmeal as he tinkered with Rick's portal gun.

"I apologize that I don't have any better Earth food for you, Luna. I figured that it was better than nothing." Birdperson said stoically.

"That's okay, Uncle BP." Luna said monotonously as she listlessly consumed the oatmeal.

"You seem to be depressed, Luna." Birdperson stated, his voice unchanged, but with a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Ugh, it's just…did you ever spend your life believing something and then have it ripped from you in an instant?" Luna asked as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"It seems that you're having a crisis of faith. Tell me about it." Birdperson requested.

"Well, it turns out that my idol was just an alien shapeshifter in disguise for over three decades." Luna answered bitterly. "I'm still reeling from it and I can't go back home right now."

"Luna, what about your family?" Birdperson asked, essentially ignoring Luna's response.

"I was going to go back for them…once I felt better." Luna replied sheepishly as she rubbed her left arm in unease.

"Listen to me, I have no knowledge on children, but it is something I would never forsake." Birdperson stated as he eyed his hands. "When I see how happy you and your siblings make Rick and your parents, it makes me remember that I…never got the chance for that."

"Hey, I love my family, including you, Uncle BP!" Luna countered.

"Then why have you not attempted to go back for them? You would have better memories with them than you ever would with an old codger like me." Birdperson pointed out as he composed himself and continued to work on the portal gun.

"Man…this was kind of a dick move." Luna admitted as she hung her head in shame.

"True, but it's not too late." Birdperson stated as he finished repairing the portal gun.

"Uh…maybe it is." Tammy stated as she walked into the room, clad in a bathrobe.

Before either of them could say anything, she turned on Birdperson's TV, which conveniently had _Planet Music_ on the screen.

" _Up next, Planet Earth!"_ the announcer said cheerfully, with Luna and Tammy gasping in shock.

"Oh, crap! I need to get back home!" Luna yelled fearfully.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Birdperson stated as he inputted the exact coordinates and opened a portal for her before he gave the gun back for her. "Go now, Luna. Your family needs you."

As Luna stared at the portal, she formed a sincere smile and embraced Birdperson before she stated, "Thanks, Uncle BP. I needed that."

With that, Birdperson handed her the portal gun and watched as she left with a smile on his face. However, it turned semi-flirtatious as he gestured for Tammy to sit on his lap, which she readily followed. Unfortunately, before they could kiss, Tammy got a call on her cellphone, which made form a sheepish expression.

"Uh, that's probably work." Tammy stated as she left the room to take the call, with Birdperson playfully smacking her butt on the way out, which she accepted with a coy grin.

 **Area 51 (Music Room) 4:27 PM**

When Luna stepped through the portal, she found the destruction of the music room from Raka's departure, but nobody else was in there. She called out for someone, but after getting no answer, she walked out the door, only to find President Reynolds escaping iron chains, panting heavily.

"Mr. President?!" Luna asked incredulously, unaware of what was going on as President Reynolds pressed a button on the console.

"This is Bluebird. We have a code tango-niner-alpha. Abort launch! Abort!" President Reynolds yelled frantically. When he got no response, he lightly cursed under his breath before he said, "He must've blocked me out. This is the darkest day in human history."

"Sir, with all due respect, I need to get to that Nevada Desert sound system and help my family!" Luna stated worriedly.

"Kid, it won't matter how good the song is. General Nathan's ordered nukes to be fired at the heads midway through Earth's performance!" President Reynold revealed, much to Luna's shock.

"Well, we need to get there, fast! Can you fly a Blackhawk?!" Luna asked fearfully.

"I'll learn on the job. After all, it's for the good old American life: For the money, for the glory, and for the fun…but mostly for the money." President Reynolds said with an odd fondness.

"President dude, what are you talking about?" Luna asked in confusion.

"I don't know." President Reynolds said seriously before he and Luna ran towards the hangar.

 **Area 51 (Sound System) 4:42 PM**

The Cromulons gathered in the sky as they watched intently at Rick and the remaining Loud family members, who were sweating profusely and not from the heat. Despite successfully finishing the lyrics, they needed Luna's guitar to bring something fresh to the performance. Rick could tell that the heads were getting impatient, so he and the rest of the group started to sing something that could only be described as gibberish.

As expected, the head booed at their performance, with them knowing that it meant disintegration for the Earth. When it seemed all hope was lost, Luna and President Reynolds parachuted from a Blackhawk, which fell to the Earth a few moments later. Rick and the others smiled in relief when they saw her.

"Luna!" they all cheered happily as President Reynolds took the microphone, knowing that the rest of the base was looking at the performance.

" _This is President Reynolds. Call off the nuclear strike! Repeat: call off the nuclear strike!"_ President Reynolds yelled frantically, with Dom obliging, only for General Nathan to knock him out with a single punch.

"Ignore that! Fire!" General Nathan yelled as he pressed the button, sending the nukes towards the head.

As Rick, the Louds, and President Reynolds watched the two nukes head first towards the main Cromulon, Rick formed an uneasy expression, knowing what was about to happen. When the nukes impacted the main Cromulon, it left nothing more than two small explosions on his face, which only angered him.

"Disqualified! Disqualified!" the main Cromulon yelled angrily as the planet-destroying laser charged up and aimed at the group, much to everyone's fear. As they tightly held each other, fearing that this would be how they died, Raka suddenly arrived and intercepted the laser blast with a psionic shield that safely deflected the blast.

"Raka?!" the group yelled in disbelief, relieved and confused by his arrival.

"I know I'm not the real Mick, Luna, but I know that he'd want you to save the world! Remember what he lived by!" Raka requested as he sweated from protecting them. "And hurry! I can't keep this up forever!"

With that, Rick handed Luna a copy of the song as well as her guitar, silently confirming why he requested her not to play it the first time. Luna smiled brightly as she properly started the song, only instead of Rick on the microphone, she and Lincoln joined him.

" _Crashing through the crowded halls, dodging girls like ping pong balls, just to reach the bathroom on time."_ The trio sang with the rest of the family accompanying them with a beat so infectious that the Cromulons canceled their attack, much to Raka's relief.

" _Leaping over laundry piles, diapers you can smell for miles, guy's got to do what he can to survive!"_ the trio continued with the Cromulons smiling and/or cheering for them.

" _In the Loud House! In the Loud House! Duck, dodge, push and shove, it's how we show our love! In the Loud House! In the Loud House! One boy and ten girls (Wouldn't trade it for the world!) Loud! House! Loud! Loud House!"_ the trio concluded, with the entire Cromulon race praising their performance.

"After 988 seasons of _Planet Music_ , the Cromulons have decided to declare Earth the final winner and bring our musical reality show to a conclusion. Goodbye!" the head Cromulon said happily as the Earth shook once again and was sent to its rightful place in the solar system.

"Aw, yeah! We did it!" Rick yelled happily as he embraced his family, even Rita, in a warm hug, which they readily reciprocated.

"I won't deny it; you guys really helped save the day." President Reynolds admitted as he formed a sheepish expression. "If I didn't need to keep this whole thing under wraps, I'd award all of you with a medal."

"It's the thought that counts, Mr. President. And if you ever need us, you know how to reach us." Rick sincerely stated, speaking for them all. Unfortunately, General Nathan ran towards them, carrying a submachine gun. Before he had a chance to fire, Rick hit him with his special ammo, which instantly made him void his stomach and bowels, much to every onlooker's disgust, sans himself.

"Oh, by the way, you should probably fire that guy." Rick said nonchalantly as he opened a portal back home, which he and his family entered mere moments before it closed.

"Hmm, maybe I should've asked if he wanted a job. Ah, well." President Reynolds said nonchalantly as he walked towards Nathan and delivered a harsh punch to his stomach, worsening his condition. "By the way, you're fired."

 **AN: Well, time to recap.**

 **Lack of Headism sub-plot: yeah, it wasn't important enough to the story for me to include it and it wouldn't have worked anyway since this Rick would be more likely to keep his family informed in these kinds of situations.**

 **Omitting some of Get Schwifty's lyrics: again, not that big a fan of the song. Sorry.**

 **President Reynolds and Dom: yeah, I just figured it'd be a nice nod and to do my own thing instead of President Keith David. The idea mainly stemmed from you-know-who's role in** _ **Saints Row: The Third.**_

 **Luna's role: yeah, I originally wanted her to get angry like she did in canon, but I felt that it wouldn't have been believable since Rick would've put her in her place like he did for the others in chapter 4. Also, the whole Water/Ice-T concept was too good to pass up for this chapter, but I wanted it to have slightly more importance than it did on the show.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.**

 **Next time—Chapter 15: Young Love and Assimilation.**


	15. Young Love and Assimilation

**AN: Hello, everyone! I know it's been a while, but I'm in college again, so updates will be sporadic at best. I'll try to make sure that there aren't any huge gaps, but there are no guarantees.**

 **I'd also like to take some time to say thank you to everyone who has supported this story, especially since it's the first one of mine to get over 100 favorites and followers! I also appreciated the reviews and am happy that** _ **Rick and the Louds**_ **has reached over 200 reviews in my absence!**

 **Now, the adventure continues!**

Rick and the Louds

Chapter 15: Young Love and Assimilation

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Dining Room) 4:27 PM**

It was an average Friday afternoon in the Loud house, with Lincoln working on his part of his class project; a scale-model of the solar system. Granted, it seemed rather tame, but given his grandfather's scientific accomplishments, it seemed more believable if he did something like this. There wasn't a rule against outside help, but this was a small matter of pride for Lincoln and the boy was more than capable enough to work on this. Still, that didn't mean that he was against the fact that he'd been assigned Ruston "Rusty" Spokes as his partner.

While the boy would've preferred Clyde, his best friend wound up assigned to Christina, one of the girls in their class and Lincoln's ex-crush. His second choice would've been Ronnie Anne, which was only because even though they had feelings for each other, the girl wasn't as academically inclined as he was. Still, it was a moot point since she'd been assigned to Liam, another one of Lincoln's friends.

Lincoln was ashamed to admit it, but even though Rusty was in his circle of friends, he wasn't as close to him as the others. It mostly stemmed from the fact that they met each other when Rusty was part of a bicycle gang that mocked Lincoln for inheriting his Lori's bike. Granted, his grandfather later helped him revamp the bike into an awesome ride and their relationship improved after Rusty had seen Lynn dominate in a bicycle competition. Still, he knew next-to-nothing about the boy or his family, but he was determined to make the most out of this experience.

The silver lining to this was the fact that the project was almost done and that Rusty was coming over to help finish. Unexpectedly, Rusty was also bringing his younger brother Rocky since their parents were busy at work. Still, Lincoln didn't mind since he heard from Rusty that Rocky was only a few months younger than Lucy and was confident that he'd at least have her to talk to if they needed some space.

"Okay, here we go," Lincoln said as he finished placing Mars in his solar system. "Just a few more planets and it'll be all set."

"Hey, Lincoln," Lucy greeted as she revealed her presence in the room, oddly carrying a Tupperware container of red liquid.

Lincoln lightly flinched, but he was harder to scare due to his numerous adventures with Rick. Still, Lucy had the uncanny ability to unnerve anyone she talked to, a power that Lincoln knew Rick felt too. As such, he quickly recomposed himself before he turned to his younger sister with a quizzical look on his face.

"Lucy, what's the deal with the red stuff?" Lincoln asked in confusion.

"Oh, it's my special recipe for fake blood. I didn't even look up how to do it or ask grandpa for help," Lucy explained monotonously. She then glanced at the liquid and lightly sighed before she said, "Sigh. I wish that I could perfect it; I'm very close."

"Well, I wish I could help you, Lucy. Maybe after Rusty and I are done with the project," Lincoln offered as he went back to work, only for the doorbell to ring. "Oh, that must be them now."

"Wait, "them"? I thought only Rusty was helping," Lucy said, confused.

"He is, but he's bringing over his little brother, Rocky, since their parents are working. We're lucky that Grandpa Rick's here, even if he is in his lab," Lincoln explained as Lucy followed him to the door. "I think you'll like Rocky; he's around your age."

When Lincoln opened the door, he was met with the familiar sight of Rusty and the new sight of his little brother, Rocky. Rusty was eleven-years-old with light skin, noticeable freckles, brown eyes, and short, curly orange hair. He wore a lime-green t-shirt, blue jeans and white sneakers.

Rocky was the spitting image of his brother at the age of eight, only with significantly less freckles. He wore a dark green shirt with a light green vertical stripe in the middle, brown shorts, and black shoes.

"Hey, Rusty. Glad you could come over," Lincoln greeted warmly.

"No problem, Linc. I'm glad that you don't mind that I had to bring Rocky over," Rusty replied as he and Rocky entered the house.

"No trouble at all, especially since most of my sisters are busy with their own stuff right now," Lincoln said as he exchanged fist-bumps with Rocky and Rusty. He then gestured towards Lucy and said, "Oh, and Rocky, you can hang out with Lucy if you want. What do you say, Luce?"

Once he turned to her, he noticed that Lucy was oddly frozen, even more than she usually was. Unbeknownst to the boys, Lucy's heart instantly started beating faster when she saw Rocky, an unfamiliar blush forming on her face, which was only accentuated by her pale skin. Lucy briefly hyperventilated before she ran upstairs and into her room, much to the confusion of the boys.

"Huh, guess she didn't want to hang out," Lincoln guessed, which the Spokes' brothers accepted as they nodded, though Rocky formed a small blush of his own.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Lynn and Lucy's Room) 5:04 PM**

After retreating to her room to recover, Lucy went over her later actions after bailing. Lucy wasn't exactly a stalker, but she'd be lying if she said that she didn't act like one towards Rocky. She always quickly retreated before he noticed her, but she honestly couldn't help herself. She knew it wasn't healthy, but she'd never felt this way about a boy her age before, not even towards her bust of a vampire that she dubbed as "Edwin".

Since Lynn was busy at one of her sporting events, Lucy could only confide with Edwin Jr. as his namesake in her room.

"What should I do, Edwin Jr.?" Lucy asked as she paced around the room. "I know he's not really the kind of boy I imagined feeling about this way but he's so…that word my older sisters have used towards boys they like."

Edwin Jr. could only provide a soft growl as he curled up towards Lucy, which the young girl accepted with a small smile. She turned towards Edwin with a small, remorseful frown and said, "Oh, Edwin, if only you were a real boy at my age. It's really nothing personal, but you'll always be my first crush. What do you think about all this?"

Edwin could only provide silence, but Lucy guessed enough what he would've said if he was real.

"You think I should go…talk to him, like my sisters in relationships do?" Lucy asked as she set Edwin Jr. on her bed and laid a comforting hand on Edwin. "I'm glad that you understand and I'll do my best."

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Kitchen) 5:12 PM**

Rocky went into the kitchen with Lincoln's permission to find a snack in the fridge. When he opened the door, he found an assortment of food as well as Rick and Lisa's refrigerated experiments, but he wisely left those alone. He spotted a Tupperware container of red liquid that he guessed was tomato soup, which made him lick his lips in anticipation. However, once he got the container out, he saw a label on it marked, _Lucy's Blood_. Before he could question it, Lucy appeared and closed the refrigerator door.

"I see you found my blood," Lucy stated, which startled Rocky enough that he accidentally spilled the contents over himself and on parts of the floor. Lucy didn't seem too fazed by the loss since she could always make more.

"Not literally, of course. A normal fridge isn't cold enough to store blood," Lucy monotonously clarified as she inspected the damage and formed a quizzical look. "Hmm, now it has the ooze, but not the splatter." She then nonchalantly extended her hand, which was covered in the fake blood she'd inspected, and said, "Hi, I'm Lucy."

Rocky could only stare in unease as he hastily left the kitchen to clean himself in the upstairs bathroom, much to Lucy's disappointment as she stared at the floor.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor (Hallway) 5:33 PM**

After several attempts of getting the stains out himself, Rocky had an annoyed expression as he finally left the bathroom with several fake bloodstains still on his shirt. However, it soon turned fearful when he saw Lucy in front of him, with one of Lincoln's orange polos in her hands.

"Sorry about the blood thing. I got you a clean shirt, if you want one," Lucy said apologetically, but it did nothing to curtail Rocky's unease as he slowly backed away from her, which the young girl was oblivious to. "Just to be clear, it's my brother's. I'd never wear anything so cheerful," Lucy said with a small smile as she continued to approach him, only stopping when he was a few centimeters from falling down the stairs.

"Uh…" Rocky said hesitantly as he unceremoniously ran down the stairs and out the door, which Lincoln and Rusty noticed once they finished the project.

"Was that Rocky?" Rusty asked as he quickly grabbed his backpack to go after him. "Sorry, Lincoln! I know the project's done, but we'll be back tomorrow!" Rusty said as nicely as he could before he left the house.

Having a feeling that Lucy was involved, Lincoln traversed up the stairs and found his younger sister clutching her knees at the top step with one of his shirts on her left side. Lincoln formed a comforting expression as he sat on her right side, which the young girl didn't have any qualms about.

"Hey, what's wrong, Lucy?" Lincoln asked in concern.

"It's Rocky. I…I think I have a crush on him, but every time I try to talk to him, he runs from me," Lucy revealed as Edwin Jr. emerged from her bedroom and softly nuzzled Lucy on her left side.

"Well, how have you been talking to him?" Lincoln asked, unfazed by Lucy's feelings for Rocky.

"Well, after watching him for a while, I introduced myself by surprising him in the kitchen and he accidentally spilled my fake blood. I offered him my hand, but he just ran from me," Lucy explained, unaware of Lincoln's slightly disturbed expression from how calmly Lucy was explaining herself. 'I tried to make things better by offering him one of your shirts, but he still freaked out and almost fell down the stairs. The rest you saw when he ran from the house…and me."

"You know, maybe he's just uncomfortable with that kind of stuff," Lincoln said, doing his best to spare her feelings.

"Well, then what _**is**_ he into?" Lucy asked, hoping to gain some insight.

"Lucy, if he doesn't like you for the stuff you're into, you shouldn't try to force it by pretending to like what he's into," Lincoln advised, though it fell on deaf ears.

"I'm not following you," Lucy said, confused.

"Well, all I can say is that he seems like a regular, normal kid and he'll be back tomorrow," Lincoln stated, only for Rick to traverse up the stairs and grab Lincoln's left hand.

"Lincoln, come on. We need to pick up Lisa and go on an important mission," Rick stated before he gave a warm forehead kiss to Lucy.

"Remember what we talked about, okay?" Lincoln advised as he left with Rick, which left Lucy alone with her thoughts.

"Hmm, 'regular and normal'," Lucy said to herself, taking the wrong things from Lincoln's advice. "Regular and normal."

 **Space (Unknown Time)**

After picking up Lisa in his cruiser, it turned out that Rick's important mission was for the three of them to get ice cream and enjoy a scenic route back home. As such, the trio were immensely enjoying their time together, even breaking into a small, random song from Rick's playlist. However, their revelry soon ended when Rick's alarm went off, revealing a nearby distress beacon.

"Whew, this just got even better! We've got a distress beacon, kids!" Rick said cheerfully as he punched in the coordinates and piloted to the beacon's location.

"Hang on, you're excited about that?" Lincoln asked.

"Haven't you learned anything from our adventures or sci-fi movies yet, Linc?" Rick rhetorically asked as he explained. "Nine out of ten times, it leads to a derelict ship full of sweet treasure. I mean, one out of ten times, it's a deadly trap, but as long as I'm here, you'll both be safe."

Sure enough, the beacon led towards a large, derelict ship that seemed intact enough as Rick parked his cruiser in the empty docking bay, which allowed the trio to board. Rick brought flashlights for them all, but he discretely hid a laser pistol in his lab coat, in case they ran into hostiles.

While the ship seemed intact on the outside, the inside was riddled with cobwebs and destroyed equipment. Rick silently motioned for Lincoln and Lisa to stay close to him, but it seemed that they were the only inhabitants of this ship now.

"I'm already forming theories, but something bad happened here," Lisa said fearfully as she clutched Rick's left pantleg.

"Don't worry, Little Poindexter. Grandpa's going to protect all of you," Rick reassured as he looked throughout the ship. "Huh, there doesn't seem to be anything here. Still, watch your back, kids."

Suddenly, one of the ship's cabin doors opened, which revealed a random group of human-like aliens with blue skin, normal-colored hair, and three blue, yellow-tipped protrusions from their heads. They wore dark green spacesuits with an unknown symbol stitched in their right sleeves. Oddly, two of them had yellow sclera instead of white.

"Oh, thank God! Someone finally responded to the beacon!" a female alien exclaimed in relief. "You need to help us! Our planet was invaded by a malevolent entity that absorbed the minds of our people!"

"I mean, it was so flawless that we didn't know until it was too late," a male alien said as he broke into a nervous sweat from the recollection. "The people it takes over look like your friends, family, leaders, but they're not…themselves anymore."

"We almost ran out of food and water, but now you're here and we can report this to the Galactic Federation!" another female alien said, relieved, unaware of Rick noticeably cringing from the mention of that name.

"Uh, how can you be sure that it didn't get on with you?" Rick asked, hoping the change the subject as he pointed to the two aliens with yellow sclera. "Those two seem nonchalant about this."

As soon as he said that, the two aliens instantly screeched and pointed at Rick, Lincoln, and Lisa before they grabbed the other aliens and vomited a green substance into their mouths, much to Lincoln and Lisa's disgust and fear. As Lincoln and Lisa huddled together behind Rick, the elderly scientist took out his laser pistol, intent on killing them if they attacked him or his grandkids.

Once the display was over, all the aliens now had yellow sclera and stared blankly at the trio. Unsure on where they were going with this, Rick charged up the laser pistol, but nothing could've prepared him for what happened next. The aliens then formed flirtatious expressions before they collectively said, "Hello, Rick. Long time, no see."

"Unity?!" Rick yelled incredulously, now-knowing who this was.

"Grandpa, what's going on?" Lincoln and Lisa asked simultaneously.

"Oh, uh these are two of my grandkids, Lincoln and Lisa," Rick said sheepishly as he gestured to the two of them. He then formed an embarrassed expression as he did the inverse and said, "Lincoln, Lisa, this is Unity. Before I met your grandma, we used to…date."

 **Unity's Planet (Main Street) 12:00 PM**

It had been an average day for the inhabitants of this planet: the ones with children were enjoying a day at the park, the ones with homes were watering their lawns at the same time, and the rest had been going throughout their day taking care of their host bodies. The inhabitants all resembled the race of aliens Rick, Lincoln, and Lisa had encountered, only they all had yellow sclera. Once the ship arrived in the atmosphere, all the available inhabitants arrived to welcome them, especially the one they knew all those years ago.

Once Rick, Lincoln, and Lisa arrived, Rick was the first to break the ice as he approached the vessel of Unity that led this species. The leader physically resembled the race Unity had assimilated, but was undeniably female. She had shoulder-length, dark red hair and was very well-endowed with a shapely figure and wore a set of square-rimmed glasses and red lipstick. She wore a burgundy suit jacket with a black, pencil-thin mini-skirt, and matching shoes. She was accompanied by two other thralls of Unity, both men and clad in black suits with purple ties. However, the one on the right was portly and the one on the left was thin.

"Well, this is a…surprise, Unity. You're a whole planet now, huh?" Rick asked, semi-nervously.

"After we…ended things, I spent some time wandering through space," Leader-Unity bashfully replied as her other thralls finished the conversation for her.

"Then I found this world…" Thin Guard-Unity continued.

"Where I was better able to focus on my passion for unification," Portly Guard-Unity finished.

"Uh, not to rain on your parade, but are you referring to the indoctrination of these innocent people?" Lisa questioned as she narrowed her eyes at Leader-Unity, who was unfazed at her inquiry.

"Well, you certainly are Rick's granddaughter. It's such a shame you aren't also mine," Leader-Unity said condescendingly, but with a hint of jealousy.

"Okay, let's not forget that we're guests on this planet!" Rick said quickly, wanting to defuse this situation. He then pinched the ridge of his nose and motioned himself towards Leader-Unity before he said, "Hey, how about you two spend some time with Unity while, uh… _ **Unity**_ and I catch up?"

With Rick's suggestion, some of Unity's other thralls went to fulfill it, only for Lincoln to briefly freak out from what he'd seen Unity do back on the ship.

"Uh, grandpa, isn't this kind of dangerous?" Lincoln asked as he and Lisa shrugged off their attempts. "What if they try to assimilate us?!"

"You're guests here on my planet. There is no need to fear its people," Leader-Unity said reassuringly. She then formed an unmistakable flirtatious smile towards Rick before she breathlessly said, "Besides, I've never been good at…disappointing Rick."

"Uh, what is she talking about?" Lisa asked in confusion while Lincoln and Rick formed embarrassed blushes.

"It's nothing! Let's uh…just go, Lisa," Lincoln quickly said as they left with some of Unity's thralls, but Rick and Lincoln overheard Lisa's sudden gasp when she reached her own conclusion.

"Wait, are they going to be…making out?" Lisa asked in confusion, with Lincoln nodding his head alongside Unity's other thralls.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor 9:00 PM**

Meanwhile, night had long since descended back in Royal Woods, but Rick had the courtesy to inform the family of his, Lincoln, and Lisa's whereabouts to prevent any panic. Since Lincoln and Lisa didn't have anything pressing and it was the weekend, there was little argument. Still, in a home like the Loud house, arguments were always readily available.

"Lola! Did you take my Red Riot lipstick again?!" Lori called out into the hallway as she poked her head out of hers and Leni's room.

"No, but someone took my perfume! I bet it was Leni!" Lola replied as she stepped out into the hallway and pointed an accusatory finger towards the bathroom door.

"Was not! But I'd like to know who took my pink chiffon dress, Lori!" Leni defended as she pointed her own finger at her older sister and stepped out into the hallway.

"Hey, you're literally the one who stretches my sweaters out every time you borrow them!" Lori angrily pointed out.

"Oh, stop being such a drama queen! It was the first time any of the top halves got any exercise!" Leni replied, equally indignant.

"And what is that supposed to mean?!" Lori asked incredulously.

As their sibling argument increased, Lola stepped into the fray to find out who stole her perfume. "That's my scent! I can't let other people associate it with you!" Lola yelled indignantly, only to suddenly smell what she was looking for. "Hang on; I smell my perfume!" Lola declared as she followed her nose to Lucy and Lynn's room, with Lori and Leni accompanying her to try and find whoever stole their stuff.

"Lucy and Lynn's room?" Leni questioned, unsure of what either sister would be doing with their possessions. However, Lori and Lola were undeterred as Lola jumped to the only possible conclusion.

"Lynn! You better _**not**_ be using the scent of my perfume to cover up the stink of your hockey pads!" Lola angrily declared as she opened the unlocked door, only for her, Lori, and Leni to gasp at what they saw.

Against all odds, the culprit was none other than Lucy, who was clad in the Leni's dress with Lori's Red Riot lipstick poorly applied to her lips and with Lola's perfume in her hands. Upon being discovered, she hastily hid the perfume behind her back and formed an uncomfortable expression towards her three sisters.

"What are you doing?" Lori asked to break the awkward silence between the four of them.

"I…I…I thought that if I could look more 'regular and normal', Rusty's brother, Rocky, would like me," Lucy explained as she shamefully looked away, knowing that she should've at least had the courtesy to ask them before taking their stuff. "I really am sorry that I took your stuff. I understand if you're mad." Lucy said apologetically as she held out the perfume to give back to Lola, but the young girl oddly left after Lucy explained herself.

"You're damn right we're mad!" Lori said angrily, which made Lucy sulk in shame. However, the atmosphere instantly changed when Lori formed a bright smile and declared, "Mad that you didn't let us help!"

"Yeah! No offense, but we've wanted to give you a makeover since, like, birth!" Leni innocently added, much to Lucy's confusion.

"Uh, what?" Lucy asked, only for Lola to re-enter the room with a poster board decorated with pictures of Lucy and the latest fashion trends.

"I've been working on this Lucy vision board for years!" Lola said happily as she gestured to her handiwork. "Until now, it was just a fantasy!"

"Guys, it's literally happening! Lucy is finally ready!" Lori declared as she stuck her head out into the hallway, which alerted the rest of her available siblings to enter Lynn and Lucy's room once they got their supplies.

"Guys, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but…" Lucy trailed off as she was suddenly surrounded by her siblings for her makeover. Before she could say anything about the situation, she was lovingly manhandled by her sisters to find the "right" kind of look for her.

 **Unity's Planet (Main Street) 12:05 PM**

After leaving two of his grandchildren with Unity, Rick took the liberty of exploring the world his former lover created. While the citizens were stripped of all free will, the fact remained that this world was now free of war and anger, two things that Rick had seen all-too-often throughout his travels. As such, he rather enjoyed the headline of the _Unity News_ newspaper that stated, _World Peace Achieved_.

"Huh, been a while since I've seen that kind of headline," Rick said amicably to the male Unity newspaper stand owner. "It's a little weird since you're the only being on this planet who'd read it, but I've never been one to judge. So, what's next for you?"

"After I've transformed into a Type-1 civilization, this world will be invited into the Galactic Federation," Unity stated as one of their male thralls took a paper to continue the conversation, which meant Rick followed him.

"Oh. Sounds like a drag," Rick replied distastefully.

"From there, I'll have access to countless planets and species," a male, suit-clad Unity avatar explained, only for a female thrall in a yellow business to suit to take over.

"One by one, I will unify them. I will become the universe and I will be what the single-minded once called a 'god'," the female Unity thrall explained as she boarded a bus, confident that one of the other thralls could talk to Rick.

"Wow. That sounds, uh…hot, I guess," Rick awkwardly replied as he then talked to an elderly female thrall that departed the bus. "Where do I get a drink around here?"

"Recreational substances were gradually phased out on this planet. There is no need to escape reality when you all share one mind," the elderly thrall explained as she entered a nearby bathroom.

"Unity, baby, who are you talking to? Where's the crazy chick that assimilated a police station to their hands on the evidence locker?" Rick asked to entice them.

"Rick, when we met, I was a young and foolish hive-mind with the population of a small town," a deliveryman Unity thrall explained as he finished with a nearby delivery and boarded his truck. "People, any people, just…change," the thrall stated as he drove away.

"Especially when I change them," a male hobo Unity thrall finished as he stared at Rick apologetically. "I'm sorry to say this, but I've grown up."

"Hey, so have I, baby," Rick stated hopefully, only for a few of Unity's avatars to form doubtful expressions towards him, which the elderly scientist noticed. He quickly said, "What? I have! I've reconnected with my family and I've been living with them for the past nine years!"

"Why's that I wonder?" an attractive policewoman Unity thrall asked semi-flirtatiously before she formed a rather hurt expression. "Don't forget, wasn't _**she**_ the reason why you left the first time?"

"You know that's not the whole story, but you should know that she's…not in the picture anymore," Rick hesitantly explained, which made all of Unity's thralls form a hopeful expression. He then intertwined his fingers with the policewoman Unity thrall, which made him form a warm, loving expression towards her.

"Rick…why'd you come back?" the policewoman Unity thrall asked hopefully.

"Maybe it was a part of me getting too old for this…or maybe I just wanted to be part of a…collective again," Rick replied as he passionately kissed the policewoman Unity thrall, with the onlooking avatars cheering for Rick. However, it didn't last too long as Rick reluctantly ended their encounter and breathed heavily in anxiety.

"Rick, what's wrong?" the policewoman Unity thrall asked in confusion.

"This is wrong, Unity. This isn't right," Rick stated, much to the avatar's hurt and confusion, which was quickly replaced with happiness when Rick said, "We need a hang glider. And a crotch-less Uncle Sam costume. And I want the entire field of your largest stadium covered end to end with naked redheads! And I want the stands packed with every man that remotely resembles my father!"

Upon Rick's declaration, the policewoman Unity avatar cheered and signaled for the others to fulfill Rick's request, minus the ones that were needed to distract his visiting grandkids.

 **Unity's Planet (Hotel) 12:07 PM**

Meanwhile, Lincoln and Lisa were holed up on this planet's equivalent of a hotel. Since Unity had no need for money and they were related to Rick, they had been receiving the best treatment available on this planet. Their room provided them with a view of a neighboring mountain that was chiseled into their likeness by some of the avatars. While Lincoln and Lisa had their reservations about Unity, Lincoln greatly enjoyed his treatment, especially when the chef Unity thralls made them burgers. Conversely, Lisa still retained a harsh expression towards their situation.

"Lisa, what's wrong? These guys are making us into a Mount Rushmore! They made burgers; you should be happy!" Lincoln innocently declared to his younger sister.

"Lincoln, open your eyes! There is no, 'they'! It's a planet of glorified puppets!" Lisa angrily pointed out.

"I can hear you," a worker Unity thrall sadly said, but Lisa merely scoffed at "his" response.

"Hey, I know they got the raw end of the deal here, but we should try to make the most of it since we can't do anything to save them," Lincoln admitted as he munched on his burger.

"Oh, we'll see about that," Lisa said to herself, only for a clown thrall of Unity to arrive with two handfuls of balloons.

"Balloon, Lisa? Balloon, Lincoln?" the clown avatar offered, but Lisa was unamused and answered for them both.

"We're not interested in your balloons. We're bored, so take us back to Grandpa Rick so that we can go home," Lisa demanded, only for the clown thrall to form an uncomfortable expression.

"Now's…not a good time," the clown thrall answered as he quickly left before either of them could question him.

 **Loud House 2** **nd** **Floor (Lynn and Lucy's Room) 9:10 PM**

After what had to be the longest ten minutes of her young life, Lucy was now clad in the best look possible to fit her sisters' standards. With some help from Lincoln's costume trunk and her older sisters' hand-me-downs, Lucy now wore a dark magenta ribbon-like headband, a pink dress with a dark magenta jacket over it, and matching shoes. However, the biggest changes were the blonde wig, magenta earrings, and the applications of a light blush and red lipstick.

"Uh…wow. I…look like you guys," Lucy said hesitantly when she saw herself in the mirror. Edwin Jr. arrived and curled up next to her, with Lucy wishing to ask him for advice. "What do you think, Edwin Jr.?"

"Aw, sick! No more weird pets!" Lola declared as she chased off Edwin Jr.

"When he comes over, don't talk about mortality," Luna advised.

"Or death!" Leni added.

"Or ask him his blood type," Lana said tersely.

"Or suggest a cemetery for a date," Lori continued.

"And make sure to laugh at any of his jokes! It's not an issue with me and Maggie, but its still good advice!" Luan added encouragingly as Lucy monotonously laughed to showcase her skills, but Luan was unamused.

"Oh, and talk about sports! Anwar loves it when I do that!" Lynn advised.

"Just remember to keep your clothes ready for tomorrow. We'll make sure they stick around long enough so you can ask out Rocky," Lori explained as she wiped off the blush and lipstick from Lucy's face.

"Look, you guys went to a lot of trouble for this—" Lucy stated, only for Leni to innocently interrupt her.

"Yeah, and it'll all be worth it when they come over! We can handle Rusty while you talk to Rocky," Leni said excitedly.

"Uh…sure," Lucy stated as her sisters departed the room to return to their own devices. Once they were gone, Lucy finally went over her situation in her head. Granted, the girl had little experience when it came to boys, but something about the situation gnawed at her.

She looked at her parent's relationship and while it wasn't perfect, her mom and dad were themselves. The same was true of her older sisters' relationship; they were free to be themselves around their love interests. So, if they could be themselves in their relationships, why did she have to change practically everything about herself to talk to Rocky? She already knew the answer to that though; she was a freak.

As many times as her siblings, parents, and grandfathers told her she wasn't, she knew that wasn't true. Every time she looked in the mirror, she was reminded of why she had to constantly hide her eyes from the world. Rocky didn't even know about her heterochromia, but she knew that any chance to be more than friends with him would fly out the window if he found out. So, as much as it made her inwardly sick, if she could avoid being creepy long enough for Rocky to be comfortable around her, maybe he wouldn't keep running away.

With that resolve, Lucy carefully removed her new clothes and laid them out for tomorrow while she changed into her pajamas.

 **Unity's Planet (Stadium) 12:30 PM**

After fulfilling his odd orgy, Rick, now clad in a yellow bathrobe, left the stadium thoroughly exhausted. He found relief as he leaned against a nearby streetlight and chugged a bottle of water one of Unity's thralls gave him. It didn't last very long as Unity's participating thralls exited, with the women clad in identical bathrobes and the men in typical suits, each with a flirtatious and satisfied expression towards Rick.

"Oh, Rick…you were so bad," one of the redheaded female thralls vocalized breathlessly.

"Ease up on the past-tense there, baby. Once I finish this bottle, we're totally doing that again," Rick said with a warm smile, only for his and the adjacent Unity avatars' attention to be drawn to a fleet of large, black spaceships that were landing on the planet.

"Oh, damn it! I thought they weren't supposed to come today," the same female thrall said, disappointed.

"Unity, what's going on, here?" Rick asked in confusion.

"It's a neighboring hivemind species, Beta-7," a different female thrall explained as the one of ships sent a small transport vessel to land. "Our planet has maintained a practical alliance in exchange for vital resources, so be nice."

Once the vessel landed and opened, it revealed the species that Beta-7 had assimilated all resembled portly men with short, black hair, pale skin, and red sclera. Oddly they were all clad in black uniforms with matching capes and had a cybernetic left eye.

"Greetings, Unity," the Beta-7 spokesman vocalized with a warm smile, which faltered when he noticed Rick's eyes weren't yellow and that the female Unity thralls were clad in identical bathrobes. "Uh, is this a bad time? Are all present lifeforms…assimilated?"

"Beta-7, this is my single-minded…friend from Earth, Rick," one of the suit-clad Unity avatars answered.

"Rick…Sanchez. Unity has spoken…fondly of you," the Beta-7 spokesman bitterly said with barely restrained rage.

"Nothing bad, I hope," Rick said warmly as he patted the spokesman on the back, which made him and his fellow thralls to shriek and point at the elderly scientist, much to his confusion.

"Beta-7, if my allies are a problem to you, then perhaps our alliance is as well," the first redhead Unity thrall said defensively, which instantly silenced Beta-7's cries.

"Our alliance is beneficial. When Beta-7 expresses concern it- it's only … be-because…" the Beta-7 spokesman answered nervously as he formed a blush around the Unity thralls. Before he could finish, Rick innocently interrupted him when he noticed what was among the supplies they'd brought for Unity.

"Awesome! Powdered neutronium?! Amphetetron?! You know what a guy like me can make with this stuff?!" Rick excitedly asked the Unity avatars, which made the main redhead thrall form an uncomfortable expression.

"Oh, Rick, I-I shouldn't," the redhead Unity thrall said apprehensively.

"Come on, it'll be just like old times!" Rick said goadingly, which made the redhead Unity thrall smile immensely as she and the others approached Rick.

"We can purify the resin and make fractal dust!" the redhead Unity thrall said happily, which made Rick's eager expression falter.

"Uh, actually I was thinking more along the lines of velocitinis, so…" Rick trailed off, only for a different female thrall to interrupt him.

"Oh, what's the matter? Are you too old to party with the whole planet?" the aforementioned thrall sweetly goaded, which made them and Rick break into a fit of healthy laughter.

As they walked away, Beta-7 slumped in despair as they silently made their way back to their mothership, sticking around long enough for Rick to lustfully say, "I can handle anything you want and more, baby."

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 5:30 PM**

The next day, Rocky and Rusty arrived to hang out with Lincoln now that the project was done, unaware of his real whereabouts. Knowing that they couldn't risk Rocky leaving prematurely, the remaining Loud siblings put their plan into action, with Lucy reluctantly going along with it, albeit for a reason she hadn't considered until after Rocky arrived.

"Ugh, why did you have to give me such a short dress?" Lucy asked her remaining sisters as she nervously adjusted her ensemble to hide her panties.

"What did you expect? That's one of Lori's dresses from when she was your age, but she was a bit taller," Luan explained as the group arrived at the top of the stairs. As Lucy awkwardly made her way downstairs, despite the lessons she received from Lola to walk in her new shoes, the remaining Loud siblings watched intently once Lucy reached the bottom.

"Okay, step one," Lucy softly said to herself as she posed like a model to get Rocky's attention, but the boy was idly throwing a baseball up and down as he sat in a chair while Rusty was looking for Lincoln in one of the other rooms.

Knowing that it wasn't working, Lucy slumped in defeat, only for Leni to signal for her attention. Once Lucy looked towards the stairs, Leni flirtatiously flipped her hair to demonstrate what Lucy should do next.

With nothing to lose, Lucy copied Leni's hair-flip was best as she could before she moved onto the second step. "OMG, Rocky. It's totes great to see you," Lucy monotonously said, which managed to get Rocky's attention this time.

"Um…who are you?" Rocky asked in confusion as the remaining Loud siblings silently gasped at his response.

"I'm Lucy," the girl replied, mildly hurt, but unsurprised by his reaction.

"Oh…I didn't recognize you," Rocky admitted as he formed an awkward expression towards her, much to Lucy and her remaining siblings' confusion.

Suddenly, Lori entered the front door with a confused Bobby, who'd only recently been informed of the plan. The teenaged girl was pretending to talk to someone on her phone as she dragged Bobby inside.

"You can't make it to mini-golf? But we already bought four tickets!" Lori said to her phone in mock-anger as Bobby formed an even more confused expression towards Lucy's new appearance. It didn't last long as Lori formed an annoyed expression and nudged him to continue his part of the plan.

"Maybe we should uh…'invite two other people to come'," Bobby awkwardly said as he read the instructions Lori scribbled on his forearm.

"Oh, what a great idea, Boo-Boo Bear!" Lori said cheerfully as she pretended to hang up her phone and look towards the two kids. "Do you want to come with us, Lucy and Rocky?"

"I was going to totally hang out with my friends at the mall, but YOLO," Lucy woodenly said, inwardly cringing at how wrong those words sounded in her mouth.

"I'm down for that, especially since Lincoln's not around," Rocky amicably stated as he got out of the chair.

"Great, its settled! Girls, look after Rusty until we come back, okay?!" Lori commanded as her group departed, much to Rusty's confusion when he arrived from the dining room.

"Uh, what's going on?" Rusty asked in confusion, only for Lynn to nonchalantly approach him with one of Luan's spare squirting flowers. He didn't wonder for long as the tomboy motioned for him to come closer and when he was in position, Lynn spritzed a purple gas from the flower in his face, which instantly made the young boy fall asleep.

"I figured it'd be easier," Lynn stated as her other siblings nonchalantly nodded while she laid him on the couch. "Thank you, Grandpa Rick."

 **Unity's Planet (Town Square) 9:30 AM**

Meanwhile, after being separated from Rick for a day on this planet, Lisa decided to put her plan into action, despite Lincoln's protests. Lisa had acquired a megaphone from one of Unity's stores and stood on a soapbox to get her message to Unity's passerby avatars.

" _Attention people of this unnamed planet! Stop acting so stupid and break free!"_ Lisa commanded through her megaphone, which only managed to stir one of Unity's passerby avatars to talk to her.

"Uh, I can hear you," the male, bespectacled Unity-passerby said, slightly offended.

"Yeah, _**sure**_ you can," Lisa said dismissively as she aggressively kicked the avatar in his shins and said, "Wake up! You have to have some individuality left in there!", much to Lincoln's apprehension.

"Lisa, stop that!" Lincoln requested, which made Lisa reluctantly end her assault while the thrall she had been attacking adjusted his glasses and rubbed his shins.

"Lisa, why do you hate me so much?" the male Unity-avatar asked evenly, unfazed by her earlier assault.

"I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to…" Lisa trailed off as she pulled out the avatar's wallet from his left pocket to find any ID of who he was. "Your name is Steven Phillips! Steven, you have to free yourself from this evil monster!" Lisa declared as she pulled out his driver's license.

"Lisa, before I took over this planet, this man was a registered sex…he did bad things to kids, okay?" Unity-Steven hesitantly explained, unwilling to articulate his real crime.

"So, what? At least he was his own person," Lisa stated with a hint of hesitation as some of Unity's other thralls approached her and Lincoln to explain themselves.

"This woman was a drug addict on the verge of taking her own life. Now, she's a marine biologist," one of Unity's female thralls stated, clad in their equivalent of a marine biologist's uniform.

"Look Unity, I don't think that my sister is saying that life would be perfect without you," Lincoln interjected, wanted to deescalate the situation, unaware of a small smile Lisa shot him. "She just understands that without you, life would be…life, you know?"

"I think you two don't understand," a different male Unity avatar vocalized as he continued his explanation, albeit with some of it omitted for his young audience. "The…lovers for money are now scientists, the… cop-ticklers have desk jobs, the homeless are now phisosophers."

"Wait, what was that last part?" Lincoln asked in confusion as the male Unity avatar started to stumble and groan.

"Lincoln, don't they look exactly like Lori right before she…?" Lisa discretely asked Lincoln, only for the male Unity avatar to vomit and collapse with the others following suit on the latter, much to their shock.

"Whoa, this is bad," Lincoln stated as he nervously searched around for a phone. "I can call the hospital or…"

"I'm fine!" the Unity avatars quickly stated before they unceremoniously collapsed again, much to Lincoln and Lisa's confusion.

 **Unity's Planet (City Hall) 9:32 AM**

Unbeknownst to the duo, Unity was losing control as they partied with Rick; their thralls consuming more drugs and alcohol than ever before. Rick was hanging out on the couch with Leader-Unity inhaling fractal dust while the elderly scientist drank beer. She formed a flirtatious smile upon finishing and lustfully gazed at Rick, thoroughly inebriated.

"You know why I fell for you, Rick?" Leader-Unity rhetorically asked as she formed a seductive pose on her desk. "You were the only single-minded person I've met that saw the bigger picture."

"I don't doubt that," Rick said nonchalantly as he approached her with a concerned expression. "Listen, this has been fun and everything, but now that we've got some, uh…alone time, maybe we should talk about what you said about the whole taking over galaxies and…"

"Oh, before you finish that, watch this!" Leader-Unity interrupted as she signaled a barrage of missiles to attack a town across the river, which vaporized it instantly, much to Rick's horror as he clutched his head.

"Whoa, what the hell did you do that for?!" Rick asked in shock, which was accompanied by laughter from Leader-Unity and her fellow thralls.

"It's okay! It's okay; I evacuated!" Leader-Unity explained in a fit of intermittent laughter as she gestured towards the town's entire population that escaped the explosion, all of whom reassured Rick they were fine, but that did nothing to curtail to elderly scientist's unease.

"Uh, yeah! That was…totally _**not**_ disturbing! Uh, Lincoln and Lisa weren't in there, right?" Rick hesitantly said as he nervously laughed. Oddly, he then walked towards Leader-Unity and seductively grabbed her firm butt, which she didn't reject.

"Oh, Rick," Leader-Unity said lustfully.

"This avatar's room, right now," Rick breathlessly stated, mildly to Leader-Unity's confusion, but she quickly followed Rick into the bedroom anyway.

 **Unity's Planet (Town Square) 9:35 AM**

Suddenly, the entire town was suffering from Unity's lack of control, with most of them either vomiting or disastrously failing at whatever they were supposed to be doing right now. The chaos soon reached a nearby construction project with the Unity thrall in charge accidentally dropping a load of girders nearby Lincoln, Lisa, and Unity-Steven. When the dust cleared, Lincoln carefully inspected Lisa before all three got up, with Lisa asking Unity-Steven about what was happening.

"Unity, what's going on?!" Lisa asked in horror, but nothing could have prepared her for what Unity-Steven said next.

"Who's Unity?" Steven asked as he formed a lustful expression. "I love little kids' feet. Mind if I take some pictures?"

"Uh, why?" Lisa asked in confusion as Lincoln protectively led her away from the newly-freed Steven, unsure of his intentions, but wary enough to keep Lisa safe. Unfortunately, they were soon met with an unwelcome sight as every Unity thrall they encountered in town was now vomiting.

"Lisa, you're the smart one, here. What's going on?" Lincoln asked his younger sister.

"If I had to say…for some reason, Unity seems to be losing control over the natives," Lisa deduced as the victims of Unity rubbed their heads when they successfully purged the entity from their system. "Do you…remember who you were?"

"Yeah, my name is Rob Benson. I was an electrical engineer and father of two," Rob groggily answered before he formed a smug smile, ripped off his shirt and declared, "And as you can see from my flat, concentric nipples, a member of this planet's top race!" Upon the discovery of his accurately described nipples, some of Unity's former thralls cheered him on.

"Uh…that's good!" Lisa hesitantly stated as she formed an awkward expression. "Maybe you shouldn't put too much emphasis on the last part."

"My name is Daryl Jefferson. I used to be a landscaper," Daryl fiercely stated before he ripped off his own shirt, which revealed that he had large, cone-shaped nipples. "Death to the ripple-nipples! Long live the cone-nipple people!" Daryl declared, with support from his specific group.

"Shut your goddamned mouths, you knife-nipple bastards!" Rob venomously declared as he and his group stared intensely at Daryl and his group.

"No, you shut up, you target-chested pieces of crap!" Daryl similarly stated as a random male alien from one of their sides yelled, "Race war!"

With that declaration, chaos erupted amongst the newly-freed aliens as they relentlessly attacked each other, with Lincoln and Lisa barely managing to get out of the violent fray in time.

"This doesn't make sense! They're all the same species, so why are they fighting?!" Lisa incredulously asked her older brother, who could only form a worried expression as he embraced Lisa.

"Don't worry, Lisa. Your big brother's seen a few of these already; you'll be safe with me," Lincoln reassured as they did their best to hide from the madness.

Unfortunately, it didn't take long for the entire city to erupt into chaos with most of the aliens fighting to the death in their race war. Fires were spreading throughout the town and the buildings were in bad shape, mostly due to the efforts of the construction workers. There were countless bodies left to rot or writhe in agony throughout the town, with Lincoln doing his best to prevent Lisa from seeing the death and destruction.

"Lincoln, I never wanted this!" Lisa lamented as she and Lincoln continued to hide behind an overturned car.

"I'm very sure this had nothing to do with you, Lisa. Remember, something's going on with Unity," Lincoln reassured, only for one of the male aliens to acknowledge their presence.

"Hey, what race are you two?!" the alien rioter violently asked as he stabbed an alien from the opposing side.

"We're neither, okay!" Lincoln quickly yelled as he lifted his shirt to reveal his own nipples. Before he could do the same for Lisa, she motioned for him to stop.

"Take my word for it; we both have regular nipples," Lisa answered, unwilling to expose her chest to a stranger, even though she wasn't old enough to start developing.

"Hey, these two freaks have no race! Let's get them!" the rioter exclaimed as Lincoln grabbed Lisa and quickly ran away from the rioters, who were hot on their tail. Unfortunately, the chase soon reached its end when Lincoln and Lisa found themselves in a dead-end alley, with the rioters menacingly approaching them.

"Lisa, I love you!" Lincoln declared as he protectively embraced his younger sister.

"I love you too, eldest brother!" Lisa similarly stated as the two awaited their fate. Thankfully, the two heard a helicopter above their heads, which was quickly followed by a few sets of rope appearing in front of them along with police officers with riot shields to protect the duo. Before they could question the rescue, they were suddenly snatched by the officers and safely taken inside the helicopter.

"Hello, Lincoln and Lisa," one of the Unity-Officers stated as the Unity-Pilot flew away from the town's destruction.

"You two are safe, now," the Unity-Pilot stated, with Lincoln deciding to vocalize the situation.

"Unity, what's going on?" Lincoln asked in confusion and relief.

"Unity, please forgive me! I had no idea that the species of this planet was so full of hatred!" Lisa admitted to one of the Unity-officers.

"It's okay, Lisa; you had no way of knowing," Pilot-Unity reassured as he formed an awkward expression. "I'm just…having fun with your grandpa! I lost a little control, but its not too bad. I shouldn't be driving anything right now, nor should I be…running two-hundred-thousand pediatric hospitals and twelve-million deep fryers, but hey! It's not like any other planet would take me!"

Lincoln and Lisa formed concerned and confused expressions from Unity's explanation, but Lincoln vocalized their feelings. "Uh, shouldn't we get you some coffee, or medical attention, or water on your face?"

"Nah, that's okay. If I wanted to be sober, I wouldn't have gotten drunk!" Pilot-Unity exclaimed as he flew the ship towards city hall.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 8:32 PM**

After stashing Rusty in Lincoln's room, the remaining Loud siblings enjoyed the time amongst themselves as they awaited Lucy and Lori's return. Soon enough, the front door opened and overwhelmed by happiness for Lucy, were ignorant of her angered expression and Lori's concerned one.

"Ooh, tell me everything!" Lola yelled eagerly.

"Are you totes in love?!" Leni asked supportively.

In a fit of anger, Lucy removed her pink shoes before she addressed her remaining siblings. However, rather than yell at them, she merely slouched in disappointment and morosely stated, "No, we're totes not."

"Why, what happened?" Lynn asked in concern.

"I screwed everything up trying to be 'regular and normal' like you guys. I complimented Rocky for something he messed up on, I laughed when I shouldn't have, and Rocky's never going to talk to me again," Lucy glumly explained as she attempted to go upstairs, only for a concerned Lori to stop her.

"Lucy, wait! We're sorry we pushed you so hard," Lori said apologetically, which was met with similar apologies from their remaining sisters. "We went overboard when you said you wanted to be 'regular and normal' like us, but we shouldn't have forced you like that. You're Lucy Loud: a dark, gloomy, utterly wonderful girl and we love you."

"Thanks, Lori, but I was doomed from the start," Lucy admitted as she turned around and lifted her wig's bangs to properly address Lori with what she meant. "With these eyes, I'm never going to pass as 'regular and normal' and no one outside of you guys would hang out with me if they knew."

"Lucy, we've been over this; we don't care about your heterochromia and neither does mom, dad, or Grandpa Rick," Lori said supportively, but that did nothing to dissuade the young girl.

"I know you're trying to cheer me up, but the only good thing about tonight was that Rocky doesn't know about these…and he never will," Lucy bitterly stated as she finally turned away from Lori and started to trek upstairs. "I'm going to bed now, okay?"

Knowing that she said all she could say, Lori allowed Lucy to go back to her room with the remaining Loud siblings, especially Lynn, looking at the depressed girl in concern. Once Lucy was alone in her room, she affectionately petted Edwin Jr., who sense her pain as he lovingly curled up next to her. As such, she was unaware that Lynn had followed her as the young goth girl removed her forced disguise.

"Oh, Edwin Jr., it was my own fault. I knew something was wrong once they started to change me, but now I've lost Rocky for good," Lucy glumly stated as she apathetically threw her wig at the foot of her bed, which made Lynn's heart sink.

"Maybe I took the wrong things from Lincoln's advice. Aw well, I can live with being alone for the rest of my life," Lucy morosely said as she wiped her face and started to change into her pajamas while Edwin Jr. lovingly accompanied her.

"Oh, Lucy. I wish I could say something to make you feel better," Lynn said to herself as she discretely left the door, knowing that Lucy needed to be alone right now.

 **Unity's Planet (City Hall) 12:35 PM**

Once they successfully arrived at city hall, Lincoln and Lisa were escorted by the officers and some of Unity's guards to safety. Unfortunately, the entire interior of the building was littered with drunken Unity thralls, empty alcoholic beverages, and odd piles of green dust that the duo instinctively stood away from.

Before they could talk to any of the higher-ranked Unity avatars, they were escorted to wait on the couch before they could talk to one. Unbeknownst to them, in the neighboring, sound-proof room, Rick was making love to Leader-Unity; the two in the throes of passion. While the other avatars could feel, see, and hear everything inside, they managed to control themselves as Rick had her all to himself.

"Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, Diane!" Rick yelled at the top of his lungs as he climaxed, only for Leader-Unity to gasp incredulously and Rick to form an awkward expression when he realized what he said.

"Diane?!" Leader-Unity yelled incredulously as she ran from the covers, only clad in a sheet and on top of their pile of clothes. "You were thinking about her?!"

"Okay, I-I-I know this looks bad, but…" Rick said placatingly as he stood up, only for Leader-Unity's emotions to overwhelm her.

"Just shut up, Rick!" Leader-Unity furiously interrupted as she formed an undeniably hurt expression and turned away from Rick, now with tears in her eyes. "I can't believe this. I can't believe you're doing this to me again!"

"Baby, calm down! Diane's…"

"The _**real**_ love of your life?!" Leader-Unity bitterly interrupted as she turned to face Rick, her face now wet with tears. "When we first met, I fulfilled every desire I could, but I was too small at the time. A part of me wanted to assimilate this world so that on the off-chance we saw each other again…I could be enough for you."

"Unity, you are enough for me! Diane totally bailed on me and took my son!" Rick argued, but Leader-Unity refused to listen.

"Rick, do you have any idea how it feels to know that I can be everything you want, and your heart _**still**_ belongs to Diane?" Leader-Unity asked as she turned away again before she venomously asked, "Or how when you met her, you bailed on me the first chance you got and started the family _**we**_ should've had?!"

"You know that's not what happened, Unity! You w-w-were incredibly possessive, and our relationship wasn't healthy!" Rick countered and then pinched the ridge of his nose in exasperation. "Listen, let's just forget about what I said and…"

"No, you know what? Screw you, Rick!" Leader-Unity bitterly stated.

"I thought that's what we've been doing so far," Rick lightly joked, but Leader-Unity remained unamused. Silently, she made her way to the front door and opened it, but not before she motioned for Rick to take his clothes.

"Leave…now," Leader-Unity coldly stated, which made Rick reluctantly comply as he got fully dressed and walked out with his portal gun in hand. Rick silently greeted Lincoln and Lisa before generating a portal home.

Once Lincoln and Lisa entered, he shared a forlorn look towards Leader-Unity, who retained her cold demeanor. Knowing that there was nothing more to be said, Rick entered the portal with a saddened expression. It wasn't until the portal closed that Leader-Unity lost her composure and broke down crying alongside her other avatars.

 **Loud House 1** **st** **Floor (Living Room) 8:00 AM**

After Rick explained where he'd been, while omitting some of the racier details, which included his and Unity's bitter breakup, Rick ordered Lincoln and his sisters to go to bed while he drove the still-unconscious Rusty back home in his space cruiser.

Now that morning had arrived, Rick listlessly ate his breakfast on the couch alongside a despondent Lucy while conversely everyone else ate in the dining room. Interestingly, it also included Rusty and Rocky, both of whom Lincoln had invited after inadvertently bailing on them while he was on Unity's planet.

Once everyone had finished breakfast, Rick included, they all went about their business. However, for Rick and Lucy, that merely included staying on the couch while everyone else was having fun.

"Sigh, my heart feels like its been turned into a black hole," Lucy stated, having confided with Rick as to what happened while he was gone.

"Don't worry about that kind of stuff, Sugar Bat. You're young; you'll have time for better people," Rick reassured as he sighed heavily, still saddened by what happened yesterday.

"What about you? Whatever happened, it's made you sadder than even me," Lucy mentioned in concern, with Rick awkwardly clearing his throat to avoid the subject.

"Let's just say...I have a very good idea as to what y-y-you're going through," Rick answered as he took a swig from his flask.

"Good to know and I understand if you don't want to talk about what happened on Unity's planet," Lucy conceded as she licked her lips in thirst. "Great, now I need some water."

"Good, good," Rick stated as he formed a despondent expression. "I'll uh…be going to the garage soon. I'll meet you in the kitchen, probably."

"See you then, grandpa," Lucy stated as she went into the kitchen. After a few moments, Rick followed her, knowing that there was only one thing he could do to escape from the heartache Unity left him. However, once he arrived, he found Lucy and Rocky conversing, which was enough of a sight that the elderly scientist refused to interfere and watched from the kitchen entrance.

"Uh, hi! You changed your hair back," Rocky said as he held two cans of orange soda in his hands, apparently for himself and his brother.

"Yeah; the blonde doesn't work for me," Lucy replied as she continued her explanation, "I wanted to be more 'regular and normal', but I think I'm better off being myself."

"I'm…really happy to hear that," Rocky said with a warm smile, which Lucy initially didn't notice.

"Thanks. Well, have a nice life," Lucy stated, only for his words to make a connection in her mind as she turned back in shock. "Wait, you are? I'm glad to hear that, but when I tried talking to you as myself the other day, you kept on running away from me. I thought I was freaking you out."

"Honestly, I thought you were too cool for me," Rocky guiltily admitted, now knowing that Lucy had misinterpreted his actions. "I just couldn't think of anything to say, so I just…bailed."

A beat of silence resonated throughout the room as the two children stared at each other, now realizing the truth; they liked each other as they were. The realization made them both form a smile and blush, but Lucy's went away after a few moments when she knew why this couldn't work out.

"Rocky, I'm so glad you aren't freaked out by me, but…I don't think we can hang out," Lucy admitted as she looked away, much to Rocky's confusion as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Lucy, what are you talking about?" Rocky asked.

"It's just…if you saw the reason why I hide my eyes, you'd run from me; I know that now," Lucy grimly answered, but Rocky remained undeterred as he motioned himself in front of her. Lucy made no attempt to move until Rocky's hands went towards her bangs, which made the young girl flinch in rare terror.

"No, please. You'll…"

"Lucy, I don't know why you don't want me to see your eyes, but I want to see…the real you," Rocky sincerely stated, which made Lucy's blush return and in the moment, made her nod her head as Rocky parted her bangs.

Lucy lightly hyperventilated as she opened her eyes and the second Rocky saw her heterochromia, he gasped in awe. However, Lucy misinterpreted his reaction and quickly closed them shut and turned away from him.

"Oh, dang it! I knew you'd freak out like this!" Lucy lamented in a mixture of anger and sadness. "You think that I'm…!"

"Incredibly beautiful?" Rocky appropriately interrupted, which made Lucy form a small blush.

"What?" Lucy asked in a mix of hope and incredulousness.

"Lucy, your eyes are the coolest ones I've ever seen! I liked you before, but…why would you keep them hidden? They're beautiful!" Rocky innocently stated, only to be unexpectedly embraced by Lucy from his response, much to his confused joy.

"Thank you. Thank you so much," Lucy said sincerely as she lightly cried on his shoulder, but the boy hardly minded as he returned her embrace with a warm smile.

As Rick silently observed their exchange, suddenly everything was put into perspective as rather than continue to the garage, he formed a warm smile and sat back down on the couch as he observed the typical craziness of the Loud house in stride.

While he knew there was no chance of getting back together with Unity, the fact remained that because he stuck with Diane for as long as he did, he had been blessed with a son and eleven wonderful grandchildren. Lucy and Rocky's interaction in the kitchen made him fondly remember his early days with Diane, her face eternally imbedded in his mind, even though they'd long since divorced. Knowing that everything would be okay, Rick formed a small smile and nonchalantly watched TV.

 **AN: And now, time to recap.**

 **Delay of this chapter: honestly, the work I'd been doing the last semester left little time for me to write. I don't think I'll be able to get the next one out soon, but rest assured that I intend to finish this story.**

 **Changing the ending of the** _ **Rick and Morty**_ **half: I intended to follow it straight, but I wanted to give Rick some backstory about his relationship with Diane, who will be making an appearance sooner rather than later. It also would've been very depressing since this Rick has a good relationship with his grandchildren.**

 **Unity: I don't think she'll be making another appearance and I refer to Unity as "she" because her primary form is female, "they/them" doesn't sound right to me unless its officially confirmed as the pronoun for the character, and I found the canon "it" to be dehumanizing, which I loathe. I also made her a bit clingier to better fit her and Rick's breakup.**

 **Lucy and Rocky: I love their relationship and it'll be something that pops up every now and again, but I know that the ship might not be for everyone. I also thought that it would be a sweet moment for them if Rocky complimented her eyes, so I went for it.**

 **So, rate, review, and I'll be back with the next chapter as soon as I can.**

 **Next time—Chapter 16: Big Trouble in Little Sanchez**


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